Summary: "Hello Sid… Hello Michelle…" My take on the end of Michelle's series 2 episode. R/R, please :D
Rating: M (just for language, though ;D)
Author's Note: If you haven't watched Michelle's episode from series 2 of Skins, you shouldn't read this. It's got MAJOR spoilers for the end of that episode. ;)
I'm in LOVE with skins. It's such an amazing show- it's ridiculous how good it is. And I just re-watched "Michelle" from series 2, and decided to write about the ending scene. So, here it is… enjoy! :D
Skins fanfic by Sophie
Cassie's eyes widened slightly, "Hello Sid… Hello Michelle." She had no idea what was going on, as she tried to put on a brave face while seeing the two people who she had thought were closest to her, kissing fiercely- and looking as if they were ready to do more.
Sid and Michelle's heads turned so as to stare, dumbstruck, at the skinny, blonde girl sitting on Sid's bed. As he looked at her, Sid didn't know what had hit him. His mind seemed to have gone blank - in the one second that it took to look into Cassie's eyes and know that he had fucked up. Bad. He remembered kissing Michelle… holding Michelle - and out of nowhere, had heard the voice of the one person he truly loved. It had taken a moment for him to get his head clear. because at first he had been un-able to believe that Cassie was here - really here. After she'd left, he's been convinced that he had lost her forever.
Michelle didn't know what to think either. She had thought that Tony had been her number one. The only person in the whole wide world that she would ever love. All this time, Sid had been right there next to Tony, but she had never thought of him as someone that she would end up fucking on a beach. And yet, here they were; standing in Sid's bedroom, ready to do it again, almost as if they were boyfriend and girlfriend. But as Michelle looked into her best friend's face, she could see the hurt behind those eyes. She could almost feel the coldness that Cassie must be experiencing. Her best friend, who belonged with Sid. Her best friend who had come all the way back from Scotland just to be with him.
An eternity seemed to pass with the three different people staring at each other, not seemingly able to figure out what the bleeding fuck was happening. Cassie's eyes darted from Michelle to Sid, resting on Sid for what felt like forever.
Sid's gaze never left hers. He wanted desperately to look away, he felt that if he looked at her any longer, he would be sick, but he just couldn't take his eyes off hers. Seeing those eyes again, really seeing them, - not just in pictures that he had - was overwhelming. So many thoughts ran through his mind in the short moments that they stared at each other.
He wished, more than anything else, that he could just… snap his fingers and make this better. He wanted to fix what had just happened; to go back in time and change it. To make it so that none of the stuff with him and Michelle had ever happened, and go home from her party to find the girl he loved waiting for him. He would hold her in his arms, and tell her how much he had missed her; and how much he loved her. And all the arguments they had ever had would be forgotten; and they would be nothing more than two lovers who had nothing to stand in between them. He closed his eyes, attempting to block out everything around him – in order to find some way to fix it. Some way to stop himself losing the one person who had ever really loved him, and the one person who he loved back. He racked his brains, looking for a response – for something to say to break the awful spread of silence.
But… he couldn't.
He found that he was never good with words. He wasn't the type of person who thought on their feet easily. And he sure as fuck had no idea what to say to change the course of events that he knew were about to un-fold. He turned to Michelle, hoping against hope that she would have something – anything – to say to get them out of this.
But she didn't.
Michelle didn't know what to do. Never before had she considered what she would do should she ever end up fooling around with Sid. I mean, it was Sid, after all. He had always been sweet to her, but he wasn't Tony. The only reason she had done what she had done, at first, was because she wanted to feel something outside of the emptiness that being with Tony gave her these days. She wanted to be with someone who really loved her – for once.
Fucking hell… She thought to herself, frustrated with the stupidity of the situation they had gotten themselves into. This is truly the shittiest scenario we could possibly have landed in. Cassie had tried to kill herself before; and it was because of Sid going off to be with Michelle instead of her. Shivers went down Michelle's spine at the thought of what would happen now. Lost for words, she turned to Sid, trying hard to not look at Cassie, in hopes that he would have something – anything – to say to get them out of this.
But he didn't.
Sid was just staring at Cassie, trying to tell her what he was thinking just by looking at her. Hoping that, if he did this, he might not have to sort it all out himself. But Cassie wasn't listening. She wanted words – actual words – to explain why she had seen what she had just seen. She had heard Sid shout to his mum that he and Michelle were going up to his room, and that he was going to sleep with her again, but she had thought that he was joking – surely he wouldn't really do a thing like that; Not him – not now.
But then he and Michelle had come through the door to his room, kissing, their hands caressing each other as he took off her jacket, and she began to un-zip his pants. She had been proven wrong. And she didn't like it.
She completely understood why Michelle was doing this; She wanted Tony back. He wasn't back to his old self yet, and she wanted someone to love her like he had. Cassie supposed that, to her, Sid was the next best thing after Tony.
But to Cassie, Sid was the bestthing.
She couldn't get her head around why Sid had done a thing like this to her. He had told her that he loved her – and, God help her, she had loved him back with all of her heart. She had come all the way back from Scotland for him, in some stupid attempt to try and make things work between them. And this was how she was greeted.
At last, Sid opened his mouth, hoping that something – fucking anything – would come out of it that made sense of this situation.
"Cass…" He started, trying to piece together a sentence. "Cass, it's not-…. I didn't… I mean… We-… Oh fuck."
"Whatever, Sid." Cassie muttered, gathering up her things, and standing up. She looked away from him, not saying anything, and walked out of the room. She kept her head down, in the hope that her long hair would hide her tears. She hated them for spilling out of her eyes. She didn't want to be weak in front of the boy who had her heart in an iron vice.
"Cassie! Please, wait!" Sid ran after her, his heart beating fast against his chest. It made him ache for her – for her touch, her smell, her lips.
Surprisingly, she actually stopped running, pausing just a couple of steps away from the staircase leading to the door; towards air and space where she could clear her head and think. She slowly walked to where Michelle and Sid stood, and gently kissed him on the lips. A single kiss – because she knew, if she kissed him for any longer than she did, she would never be able to stop. As she pulled away, she looked at him.
"It's like I said before," She told him, leaning in to whisper in his ear, "Everything is your choice, Sid…. And yours was wrong."
He tried to reply, but the shock of her lips on his after so long was like a blow to the head; he felt dizzy with pleasure. All he wanted was to feel her kiss again. After he had regained the ability to think straight, he opened his mouth to speak, but she put a finger to his lips, so he felt it best not to say anything after all. All he had the power to do was stand and watch as Cassie Ainsworth – the person he loved more than she would ever know – walked out his door.
Cassie's tears came faster now, as the light hit her eyes. Pulling the door shut behind her, she didn't stop walking, as she ran down the street, not giving a shit what anyone said about her as she hurried by them – she could feel how pale she was; how cold her body had become. She wanted to find somewhere – anywhere – where she could remove the sick from herself. All she had to do was find a nice spread of grass and….
She decided to leave the owner of said patch of grass to deal with the result.
Sid was still frozen in her wake. The shock of what Cassie's lips felt like against his; how soft they were. The connection between himself and her was still undeniably there, he could taste it on his mouth. He didn't want this feeling to end, his lips, almost subconsciously, remained open, trying to re-imagine the kiss.
"Sid? Sid?!" Michelle's panicked voice broke through the wall that he had seemingly built around himself, her urgency showing. He looked at her, though didn't really see her. All he could see was Cassie. "Sid! You have to go after her…. You need to catch her… Explain yourself, tell her you're sorry. You can't let it end like this."
That did it.
With a nod towards Michelle, he bolted down the stairs, out the door – ignoring his mum's calls as he did so; the force of his love driving him, down the street. Where – he did not know, but he was positive that she couldn't have gotten far in the space of five minutes. She had to be somewhere around her – maybe around the next corner, he thought hopefully. This way or that? He didn't know where to go, or what do to anymore. He was lost. She was as far away from him as she could make herself.
He had lost.
Michelle tried to follow him out of the house, wanting to be there for him in case she needed to help him explain the story to Cassie, to reassure her that it had been an honest mistake; to fix it… for her… for Sid. Because it was partly her fault – and she didn't want her best friend's happiness jeopardized by something fucked up that Michelle had done. It wasn't his fault, and she wanted Cassie to know that. She found him, leaning against a wall, completely out of breath, but still frantically looking around for where Cassie might be hiding.
She came to his side, trying to help him look, but she knew that they were too late. That was one of the most maddening things about Cassie; she could always get away from something when she wanted to. And once she was gone, you most likely wouldn't see her again for a long while. This time was no different that any other times Michelle had been out late at night looking for her friend.
Sid looked up at her, and she saw that tears were pouring down his face.
Fucking idiot, Sid thought to himself, as the tears kept building up behind his eyes, with little remorse or regard for the fact that they had already come down his face enough within the past weeks. But then he realized that he didn't care if he cried in front of Michelle – he wasn't embarrassed, and she understood.
He was too far gone to give a shit what he did at this point, so he let the tears fall, spilling out of his eyes rapidly to join their ancestors at the bottom of his chin. Slowly, he slid down the wall, his back to it, and came to rest on the grass.
Michelle sat down beside him, putting a consoling arm around his shoulders, trying to make it all better. She knew that she could never really fix this – sometimes things just got too fucking broken to be mended - but she wanted to help Sid as much as she could.
"Hey," She said, soothingly, "It's gonna be okay. I promise-."
She stopped short as Sid shook his head, and put his head in his hands.
The muffled sounds that came from behind his hands were hard to hear, but Michelle could make out enough.
"She's gone, 'chelle…." He said, "She's really gone…"