Once Upon a Time: Dissidia Fairy Tales

Original Character Concepts by Square-Enix

Story Ideas Inspired by himichu of DeviantArt's Dissdialand comics

Notes:: Whoo, I finally got a new idea out of my head. X.x Took awhile too. But yeah, this is the starting story for a wide ranged mini-story series~ Whoo! In Once Upon a Time, these stories are parodies of fairy tales and other stories just for the amusement of seeing the chaos going on. Of course, some parts will often change to fit the characters in Final Fantasy and Dissidia, but either way, it will at least that a rough outline of the classic fairy tales and stories. Now enough of me rambling. Enjoy~

Tidus in Wonderland

Based on Alice in Wonderland by Lewis Caroll

Chapter 1

"Why does it feel like I just got hit by a blitzball?"

Tidus rubbed his aching head and mumbled to himself a bit. At least those loud and annoying fan shut up. First, he was being mobbed by a group of fan girls wanting to get his autograph. Then, he got hit by something so hard that it knocked him over the railing and into the ocean. He thought he was drowning at first. But when he kept sinking into the water rather than floating back up, that's when he realized that there was an odd door when he finally hit the ocean's floor. Of course, since Tidus was your very curious teenager, he opened it up and stumbled out of there, now being able to breathe by doing do.

"Where am I?!"

As expected, there was no reply to him. Tidus got up from the ground and dusted himself off oddly enough. He scratched the back of his head and examined the area. Nothing more than a bunch of passageways and a sign with several different directions on it. At the top of the pole sign, it read "You Are Here." Where was here? Tidus didn't know, and he didn't care. He wanted to get back to Zanarkand as soon as possible. His team was versing the Al Bhed Psyches, and he was going to kick their-

"Oh dear! Oh dear! I'm late!"

Tidus's focus on the game he was suppose to participate in quickly was directed to a small squeaky voice coming from nearby. The blonde blinked a few times and watched curiously as the little creature waddled by him as he looked at the sign. It was a talking moogle! How cool was that?! Tidus's mind practically screamed from surprise and victory. He told Wakka that moogles could talk, and here they did! Wherever here was.

"I'm late! I'm late!" the moogle shouted, practically plowing down anything that got in it's way. It was a very angry moogle it seemed.

"Hey! Mr. Moogle! Do you think you can help me-"

"No time to talk to you! I'm extremely late and the king will have my head if I don't get there in time!!"

King? Like the medieval kind of king? Tidus was going to ask the moogle, but seeing that it was already out of view, he held onto the question and sprinted after the cranky moogle. "Hey! Mr. Moogle! Come back." Tidus finally stopped when the corridor ended in a very spacious room. Probably because it didn't have any furniture besides a glass table in the center of the room. Tidus wandered over to the table and looked at it curiously. There seemed to be a little glass bottle set on top of it. There was also a sword leaned up against it. And since Tidus was the one to touch every object that looked interesting to him, he immediately grabbed the sword and looked at it in awe.

"You seem to be the adventurous one, huh?"

Tidus shrieked when he realized that he wasn't the only one there. At least, it sounded like it. When he turned around, there wasn't anyone there. He shrugged it off and continued to look at the sword.

"Don't ignore me when I'm talking to you, damn it!"

Tidus flinched in surprise and ended up dropping the sword. He looked around again, but as expected, there was still no one.

"Down here..."

And so Tidus looked down, seeing a small little man about the size of a can of Choco-Cola standing by his foot. Being careful not to crush the little man below him. The blond knelt down and looked at the little man curiously. "Old man? What are you doing here?!"

"Tch, I'm not your old man here," the man scoffed. His black hair was messy as ever, and the fact that he had a massive claymore like weapon still intimated Tidus even if his old man was about 4 inches tall. "I'm the Guardian of the Doorway, and I ain't lettin' anyone get by without a good reason, ya here? Now drink that potion up there so I can kick your ass!"

Tidus frowned at the miniature version of his dad and shook his head. "You're so tiny though! What good will a potion do to decrease my strength?"

"Well why don't you drink it and find out!"

The blond rolled his eyes and picked up the sword that he had dropped. Now that Tidus thought about it, it looked sort of like his own sword from back home. Only more bubbly... But now was not the time to think about that. Tidus grabbed the small potion sitting on top of the table and drank it. He had doubts about it, but hopefully his dad would have a certain reason to why he needed to drink it. You know, besides the fact that he wants to kick his son's butt...

Suddenly, Tidus felt a jerky feeling in his chest. His head felt even worse that it was before and it felt like he was being compressed by a ton of bricks. Of course, that compressed feeling soon was over when Tidus made sudden impact to the floor below him. He groaned a bit and rubbed his head. Why was he in so much pain lately? Tidus looked up to see what happened, only to see Jecht standing over him, cracking his knuckles. Tidus's face turned pale.

"You aren't so big now, huh?"

"Oh my Cosmos, don't kill me! I didn't even want to be here, I swear! I just want to get the heck out of here!"

Jecht stopped cracking his knuckled and looked at Tidus for a moment. He grinned a bit and pulled Tidus up by his son's shirt hood. "Out of here, huh? Have fun with that, kid. You're gonna be in for one heck of an adventure." Jecht patted his son on the shoulder before walking off. His massive claymore was rested on his shoulder as he walked off. "Oh yeah, kid."

Tidus blinked a few times as he looked at Jecht, but his reflexes acted when a silver object was thrown to him. He glanced down to see what Jecht had thrown to him. It was a key...

"That'll get you past some of the more bitchy doors," Jecht stated, "G'luck. Oh yeah, if you run into trouble, just tell them that Jecht sent ya."

Tidus nodded and watched his father walk away. What did he mean by trouble anyways?

"Ugh, where the heck am I now?!" Tidus crossed his arms over each other. He had ended up in the middle of a forest for some peculiar reason after walking around aimlessly. The only thing he knew was that he was here. It said so on a sign nearby. But being 'here' wasn't that descriptive, and not knowing where he was was driving Tidus near the Edge of Madness. "For cryin' out loud, someone tell me where I am!!"

"You could be here, you could be there, but if you think about it, you could be anywhere, little fishy~"

Fishy? Where? Tidus looked around a bit, but stopped. A frown appeared on his face. Oh, right. I'm the fishy I guess... The blond haired wanderer looked up to the trees to where this strange voice was speaking from. Of course, he couldn't look for too long. The man laying down in the three nearby wasn't really wearing anything except for a jacket and what appeared to be his underwear. It was a bit odd for a guy to be exposing that much of his legs after all.

The man smirked a bit when he noticed Tidus look away. "Aw, the little fish is embarrassed? No need to hide really~"

"Ugh, yeah there is a need. Maybe if you had some pants on..."

The slate-haired man cackled a bit and looked down upon Tidus, who just so happened to be looking for somewhere to run off to and get away from this man. "Simpletons like you amuse me~ When you're faced with an awkward situation, you try to ignore it. It never does work, now does it?" The man jumped down from the tree he was perched on and landed gracefully behind Tidus. The blond began to freak out a bit and back up from the man, who just so happened to be about half a foot shorter than Tidus. Of course, with this man's now obvious size, Tidus became less intimidated. "Oh? Why so scared, little fish? Afraid the cat's going to eat you?"

"You? A cat? That's insane. You don't even look like one," Tidus pointed out.

The man smirked maliciously and placed a slender finger of his over his lips as though he was telling Tidus to keep a secret. "Curiosity just so happened to kill that blasted cat. Let's just say I'm the alternate in this performance~"

Tidus's face looked surprised, worried, and slightly scared all at the same time when this man mentioned this. This man was defiantly more terrifying than he appeared. "Uh... Okay. Well, I'm not curious or anything, but how do I get back to Zanarkand?"

"Zanarkand? I've never heard of such a place."

Tidus's frowned a bit. This guy was defiantly hiding something from him and he was going to get the answers out of him somehow. So the blond teen got his sword ready to deal with this troublesome excuse for a man. As a reaction, the man did nothing more than cackle and comment on Tidus's so-called threatening move.

"You? A little fish trying to take on me, Kuja? Do you even know who you're actually dealing with?"

Tidus shook his head, not being intimidated by this man's bluffs. "I don't care. As long as I get back to Zanarkand before the match against the Al Bhed, I don't care if I tear down this entire forest!"

"My, such confidence you have~" Kuja purred and folded his arms over each other, looking at Tidus with those malevolent eyes of his. "Well, I'll be sure to crush it for you!"

Tidus had that feeling that everyone was against him these days. He always seemed to be trapped in trouble's grasps with no way of escaping the spiraling vortex known as trouble. Maybe that was probably because not many people hung around him or enjoyed his company. His dad didn't, this overly-feminine Kuja didn't, and certainly not that little moogle he was following. But having this feeling wasn't unusual. After all, he meets new people everyday it seems. Different things going on everyday and a new face would be out to get him. But that's what made every day and adventure.

In this case, Tidus's new adventure was the fact that he just got captured by this pretty boy, Kuja, and was being taken away to some place which he did not know yet again. Of course, he never could do much about it. He just had to go with the flow and take on whatever comes his way.

But for love of Cosmos, was it really necessary to make him have to dress up like this? It was embarrassing for any of guy kind to even be caught in a dress. Especially a dress with frilly blue ruffles, an apron, and the matching ribbon as well. Damn that Kuja for dressing him up like this... He didn't know why he was wearing a dress, but Kuja did mention something about meeting the 'lovely' King of Hearts. What an intimidating title after all. ...Not.

"Are you serious? Do I really have to wear this? I liked my other clothes better."

"Silence, Simpleton!"

Kuja tugged on the chains around Tidus's hands and neck viciously as he lead Tidus along through a magnificent garden full of roses and other various plants. However, the sight of a few servant painting over the flowers just sort of ruined the lovely garden in Tidus's eyes. They were red roses for a reason, not black ones...

Just where exactly was he being dragged off too?