SLASH BACKSLASH ONE-SHOT CONTEST
Story Name: Forever Shattered
Pen name: RMHALE
Disclaimer: I don't own anything except the drool covered pictures of Robert Pattinson from the new Vanity Fair
To see other entries in the "SLASH BACKSLASH" contest, please visit the C2: http ://www. fanfiction. net/c2/74941/3/0/1/
A/N: Happy New Moon week everybody….here is something to tide you over until 11/20!!
As I sat there swirling the whiskey in my glass, I wondered how many times a heart could break before a person could no longer survive. I felt like I was finally at that point, knowing that in one hours time, the man that I loved with all my heart and soul would be joined in marriage to another.
He was truly the other half of me and was absolutely clueless as to how I felt. My eyes were bloodshot and my throat raw from crying. I got absolutely no sleep last night as I screamed his name into my pillow over and over again, as the tears ran freely down my cheeks. I know I looked like shit and I was still trying to garner enough courage to get to the church and be the best friend I was supposed to be. I have never been so thankful that Edward and Bella chose to have their siblings stand by their sides as they said their vows. I don't know if I was strong enough to actually stand up there by his side while he married her and keep the devastation off my face as every word spoken joined them together in a way that he and I could never be.
I still remembered the day those piercing emerald eyes and crazy copper hair invaded my life. He was a force to be reckoned with and we were the best of friends from day one.
I walked to my first day of school after having just moved here from Texas. I was a scared little eight year old, not knowing anyone in this tiny town of Forks. My mama had packed my lunch, put my backpack on me and sent me out the door. I was heading towards the school when I heard some voices behind me.
"Hey you, new kid, do you hear me? Why don't you answer, huh? Are you deaf, dumb or a just a dweeb?" a boy asked me as the others with him laughed along.
Great, I was already going to get picked on, third grade was going to suck. I picked up the pace and hurried along.
The boys caught up with me and shoved me from behind. One pulled off my backpack while the other pulled off my shoes.
"Mike! Tyler! What are you doing?" asked an unfamiliar, yet forceful, voice.
I hastened a peek at the voice from behind the hands covering my eyes and was met with the image of a boy my age with his hands on his hips, stomping his feet to get to me. He had some crazy reddish brown hair and big green eyes. I had just memorized all the colors in my crayon box and I would definitely call those eyes pine green, as dark as they were in anger at the moment.
He leaned down to help me up as the other boys backed off. They were definitely scared of the skinny kid, maybe he was someone important. He helped me sit and handed me my shoes and a napkin to wipe the tears I didn't realize were leaking from my eyes.
"I'm Edward Cullen and you are my new best friend." he said to me. I stared at him in confusion.
"Why would you want to be my best friend?" I asked him.
"Well, someone's gotta protect you and that someone is me."
He gave me a quizzical look and said, "Listen up new boy, being friends with me is the best thing that could happen to you. Everyone wants to be my friend." I looked up at him with a look of shock. Was he really that cocky? Did I want to be friends with someone with an attitude like that?
He looked down at me like he was expecting a quick answer. I looked up at him and decided that I had nothing to lose so I introduced myself.
"My name is Jasper. I'm eight and in the third grade. I just moved here from Texas and…" He put his hands up and interrupted me with a, "Whoa…slow down there Jasper. What the heck kind of name is that anyways?"
"I don't know, what kind of name is Edward?" I asked him right back. He looked at me with his head cocked to the side and burst out into laughter.
"Jasper, we are going to be great friends, of that I am sure. For starters, you have to learn to stand up for yourself because I won't be around you all the time. If you are hanging out with me and my brother, Emmett, no one should mess with you anyways. I am in third grade too, but Emmett is in fourth so you will have me in class with you and we can eat lunch together!" He was talking with such excitement that it was contagious. I suddenly had a spring in my step, glad that I had a friend now.
"No worries Jasper, stick with me and you will do just fine." And in that instant, I knew I would be.
Little did I know that meeting Edward that day would be the greatest day of my life, for it brought me the best friend anyone could ever ask for. We were inseparable after that day. Where there was one you could always find the other. If you saw my curly blonde head, his red cowlicks were not far behind. He was my opposite in every way. Where he was fair, I was sun kissed. Where his eyes were green, like a Costa Rican rainforest; mine were grey, like a hurricane churning in the ocean. Where he was outgoing, friendly and brilliant, I was shy, reserved and had to work for my A's.
We excelled in school and spent our summers exploring every inch of property that ran behind our houses. When we turned 11, our dads built a fort in the woods for us and we used it as our secret hideout. We stored all of our important things like G. I. Joes and Transformers in there. As we got older, those were traded out for posters of hot girls and Playboys we stole from my dad.
The summer that we turned 16, right before our junior year is when everything started to change. I was slowly starting to discover that, unlike every other teenaged male, I could not jack off to a stupid magazine full of naked girls. Porn videos did not make me hot and bothered and I was not interested in kissing girls. Emmett was obsessed with girls and would come to the fort and brag to me and Edward about all the chicks who wanted to partake in his kissing expertise. Edward would sit there looking at his brother in awe and I would look at Emmett with indifference.
It was that summer when I realized what, actually who, turned me on. The road to this discovery made me question who I thought I was a person and a man. The feelings of fear and apprehension were out in full force when I finally knew that Edward was the one I wanted. After that day in the lake he became the star of my shower fantasies and nighttime dreams.
Edward and I had been exploring the woods, climbing trees and cleaning the fort. We were hot, tired and sweaty. We decided it was the perfect time to go take a dip in the creek.
He ran out ahead of me, throwing his clothes off left and right. He stripped down to his boxers, looked back at me and jumped in. All I saw was the perfect rippling of muscles flexing in his back as he jumped in. When he curled his legs up to do a cannonball, my eyes focused on the way his ass looked as it hit the water. For a moment all I could think about was touching that sweet, glistening skin and my hands ached to feel him.
"What the hell is wrong with me?" I muttered to myself as I shook my head to clear it. I stripped down to my boxers as well and jumped in after him.
We swam and talked about what next year would hold for us. It was time to start thinking about college applications, SAT's and scholarships. We were having a great time and I was heading for the dock when I felt myself being pulled under. The shock of it caused me to grab onto Edward under the water and climb up his body. Once we broke the surface of the water I realized I was wrapped around him. The feeling plunged me into a lust-induced haze and I couldn't stop myself from memorizing the feel of his wet skin as my hands slid down his sides. I buried my face in his neck and took a deep breath so I could take in his scent. He smelled like sweat, sun, pine and man. I should have let go, I should have stopped what I was doing, but I just couldn't. I had been waiting for this feeling for so long.
My face was buried in his neck and I inhaled the underside of his throat. I heard his breath hitch, and I stopped. Fear replaced the lust pumping through my veins. What the hell was I doing? This was Edward! I let go quickly and dropped back into the water.
'Oh Shit,' I thought. He is going to hate me. What the fuck was wrong with me anyways. The feelings of repulsion coursed through me and I wondered what he was going to think. I didn't understand why my body was reacted the way it did to his. My dick was throbbing from being so hard and I only prayed that he didn't feel that too.
I swam around for a bit, willing my hard on to go away so I could get out of the water and figure my shit out. I swam to the other side and heard Edward calling my name. I looked over at him and he was standing on the docks, looking at me. He looked so gorgeous in the sun with the beads of water running down his lithe body. I silently plead for him to put his damn clothes on, but he just stood there, waiting for me. I swam over to him and as I got closer I saw one of the beads of water roll down his chest, over his abdomen and stop just above his boxers. I wanted to lick it away and feel his warm skin against my tongue. That is when I knew that I was fucked!
Things changed for me after that summer. When we got out of that water, we acted like nothing ever happened, but our friendship was never the same for me after that. Every day that passed from that day forward, I fell a little more in love with Edward. There were times I wondered if he felt it too, there were subtle touches when none were called for and fingers that would linger for longer than necessary. When we worked on our homework together, there was always some part of our bodies touching when we laid on the floor or the bed.
All the touches were absolute torture for me, knowing that I wanted so much more than to be his friend. There were times I could feel his eyes on me and I wanted to look up and meet them so badly, but I just couldn't. I was afraid if I looked back, he would see the unrequited love and passion shining in my eyes that was only present for him.
By the time we were entering our senior year, I had resigned myself to the fact that he would never feel for me the way I did for him. We had spent the summer once again in the woods and the lake, knowing that this was probably going to be the last summer we got to be wild and free before real life issues like college and jobs overtook our lives.
Our senior year at Forks High was the same as all the others, aside from the fact that it was the last one. Edward had been accepted to Dartmouth and I had been accepted to the University of Texas at Austin and we were both going with full academic scholarships. I had applied to Dartmouth as well and was accepted, but I knew if I was ever going to break the hold he had on me, I had to get away from him. School got out for winter break and we decided to skip the senior ski trip to hang out and spend time together instead.
The holidays were lots of fun. We hit our favorite hangouts, drank coffee in the fort every night and made a few trips to Seattle for books and music. The Cullen New Year's Eve party was coming up. We knew we were going to have to wear tuxes, hang out with boring people and hate every minute of it until we could bust out the fireworks later.
The night had been dragging and I spent the entire time inconspicuously watching Edward. He looked amazing in his tux, like he did every year, but he looked more like a man tonight than he ever had. He tried so hard to tame those bronze locks, but the careful gel hold had given out within an hour of the party and he looked untamed and sexy as fuck. I had a difficult time containing my raging erection the entire evening and was thankful it was dark in the house. I watched as he went from person to person, making small talk and a few times he glanced at me and rolled his eyes. I chuckled softly, knowing he was being subjected to all kinds of mind-numbing conversations. He was so good at being the dutiful son of a prominent surgeon, making sure to say hi to everyone.
I was on my third glass of champagne by the time midnight was almost here and Edward was right there with me. Esme Cullen had a rule, you may drink at the party, but you had to stay the night. I glanced over at the clock and saw that there was still about half an hour until midnight and I needed some fresh air to clear my head.
I stood on the balcony and breathed in the night air. All I could picture in my head was the way Edward looked tonight in his tuxedo. He looked like a picture perfect model from the cover of a magazine. He was stylish, handsome and really fucking hot. I slowly walked down the steps of the patio and out into the trees as I imagined all the things I would do to him if he were mine. As I walked along, the feeling of despair overtook my heart once again as I realized that those dreams would always be mine and mine alone.
I walked until I made it to the fort and then I went inside and sat down. The alcohol must have made me melancholy tonight because I couldn't stop the tears from forming and slowly falling down my cheeks. I cried and silently cursed the love I felt that he would never return. I wanted so bad to tell him how I felt, but knew it would do nothing but destroy a friendship, so I cried for what could never be. I wanted him so bad that I swore I could feel his presence and smell him there with me and the tears flowed faster.
While I was sitting there, I felt a subtle touch on my shoulder. Startled, I jerked and looked up at the emerald eyes that were the cause of my pain. I slowly stood up, never breaking eye contact with him, and faced him.
"What's wrong Jasper? Why are you so upset?" his silky voice asked me.
I couldn't bring myself to say anything, so I slowly shook my head back and forth. He reached out and gathered me to his chest and the dam broke loose. He held me as the sobs racked my body and I wrapped my arms around his waist to hold him there. He kept whispering soothing words to me and I felt his warm breath stirring in my hair, causing goose bumps to erupt on my entire body.
I slowly began to calm down, feeling a serene peace at being held in his arms. It felt like home. I felt his hand under my chin and he slowly lifted my face to meet his. My stormy slate eyes met with his brilliant jade ones and I saw the questions burning behind them. He reached up to brush the blond curls out of my face and I just couldn't help myself any longer, so I turned my head towards his hand and placed a light kiss in his palm. I felt a shudder go through his body. I looked up at his face with trepidation laced with desire and his eyes were now darker and filled with something else I couldn't define.
Our ragged breaths were the only sounds in the room as our eyes stayed locked on one another. I looked down at his red, velvety lips and watched them part as his tongue slipped out to wet the lower one. That was all it took to snap my resolve and I crashed my lips against his, grabbing his hair to hold him there and poured all the love and lust I felt into that kiss. If it was the only one, I was going to make it count.
He stood frozen for a few seconds before I felt his lips begin to move with mine. I placed kiss after kiss on his lips and I slowly sipped from his mouth. I slid my tongue along his full, bottom lip and waited for him to open up to me. When his lips parted, I took the opportunity to truly dominate his mouth with my own. I tasted the alcohol on his tongue and the sweet essence that was purely Edward's.
He was now holding me as tight as I was holding him and I shifted so that our hips met. We both moaned out in pleasure at the electrical zing of our cocks coming together through our pants. I lifted my mouth from his and place my open mouth on his neck, licking the salty skin that was there. I trailed my tongue along his jaw and kissed my way to the collar of his shirt. I wanted more and I wanted it now!
I pushed him towards the couch, and when the back of his legs hit, he sat down and I straddled him, never breaking our mouths apart. He pushed my tux jacket off my shoulders and I pulled my mouth from his to get his off too. I looked at him as I sat back on his knees, knowing that I needed him to tell me this was ok. He looked at me first with confusion and then with determination as he pulled my head down to his and thrust his tongue into my mouth.
We sat there for a long time kissing over and over again and our bodies slowly began to tell us that it wasn't enough. Our cocks were grinding against each other in time with our mouths and I needed to feel his skin against my own. I slowly stood up and he looked up at me with questioning eyes. I looked down at him, not wanting to say anything to break the spell we were under, and slowly began to unbutton my shirt. When he saw what I was doing, he shook his head and jumped up to stop me; I felt my heart plummet down to the floor. Then, I felt his hands replace my own as he slowly began to undo my buttons and my heart soared once again. When he got all the buttons undone, he pulled the shirt off of me and pulled my undershirt over my head. He stood there and looked at me for a few moments, drinking me in and then I felt his hands on my chest. He lightly trailed his soft fingers across my chest, lightly grazed my nipples and then followed the planes of my torso down to my abdomen. I groaned out loud as I felt him lightly drag his nails through the line of hair under my navel and then I felt his hands begin to undo my pants.
I felt the pants drop and I quickly got out of my socks and shoes, then I stood before him in my boxers. His eyes drifted down my body and then stopped and stared at my erection which was tented against my underwear. I saw him lick his lips and then he reached out a hand to touch me there. As I saw his fingers getting closer to me, my dick twitched and I nearly came right then. That would be no good, I needed him as unclothed as I was, so I stopped his hand and reached out to remove his clothing too.
He allowed me the same pleasure of removing his shirt and I kissed each button before I put it through the hole. After I removed both shirts, I leaned forward and tasted every inch of skin that was exposed by my hands. The hisses and moans that passed through his body were a testament to the fact that he felt it too. I sat him on the couch and lovingly removed each shoe and sock from his perfect feet. I leaned forward and kissed his navel while I undid his pants. He lifted up his hips so I could pull them down his legs and I worshipped them with my mouth as I dragged the pants down.
I was on my knees before him and I just couldn't stop myself from placing a soft kiss on his dick that was prominent and hard under his boxers. He groaned and bucked his hips up into my face. I brought my eyes up to meet his through my lashes and they were smoldering with lust. It was beyond my wildest fantasy that he would burn for me at this moment too. I raised my eyebrows in a silent question and I watched his Adam's apple bob as he gulped and then, he nodded his head.
I dragged my mouth across his taut abdomen, leaving a moist trail as I kissed and licked him from one hip to the other. I nuzzled my nose into his navel and slipped my hands into the waistband of his boxers. I felt a moment of apprehension at the unchartered territory I was about to enter. I had never sucked a dick before and it had never been done to me, but I was dying to taste Edward's. I pulled the boxers off and gasped in awe at the sheer magnitude and definition of his cock. It was prominently nestled in a thatch of bronze curls and looked like it was carved from marble. It was beautiful and breathtaking.
I leaned forward and placed a tender kiss on the head. I opened my mouth and took the voluptuous tip into my mouth and I heard him say the first words since our lips touched.
"Jasper, oh God, please." he moaned in a husky voice, full of need.
Taking that as my cue that I was making him feel good I gently cupped his balls in my hand and licked the underside of his dick from base to tip. I then took him in my mouth once again and moaned in pleasure at having this beautiful man between my lips. I lovingly licked and sucked him over and over again until I felt his balls tighten in my hand. He tried to pull my head away, but I made it this far and I was not quitting now.
"Jasper…Fuuuccckkk!" He screamed loudly as the jets of cum erupted from his dick and shot down my throat in pulsing streams. I swallowed every last drop and placed one more kiss on the tip before looking back up at him.
He grabbed me under the arms and hauled me up his body so that he could attack my lips with his own. He plunged his tongue in my mouth and tasted himself on me, which only made me that much harder.
He pulled his head back and kissed his way down my neck to my collar bone and then I felt his hands ghost over my erection. He looked me in the eyes and gave his palm a long, slow lick. Then he slipped his hand inside my boxers and wrapped it around my cock. His eyes never left mine as he slid his hand up and down my shaft, slowly twisting around the head on each upward stroke. He repeated the motion in a perfect rhythm and I felt my body slowly fall apart as my orgasm neared. He kept up his pace and I buried my face in his neck as I came all over his hand.
We stayed there until our breaths slowed to a normal pace, his hand still wrapped around my softening cock. I could have stayed there forever, but now that it was over, the worry set in and I wondered what he was thinking. I slowly extracted myself from him and stood up. I pulled off my sticky underwear and cleaned up as best I could. I started to put my clothes back on when I looked over at Edward and saw the shattered expression on his face.
I walked over to him, knelt in front of him and reached out to comfort him. He flinched and pulled back from my touch and I felt the white hot pain searing through my heart. I jumped back and looked away.
We stood there forever. He silently cried and I stared out the window wondering what the fuck I was thinking when I kissed him. I heard him slowly start to dress himself and I couldn't bring myself to turn around and talk to him. I was afraid of telling him everything I had been feeling and I knew that now was not the time. I heard him walk towards the door and whisper, "I am so sorry Jasper, I can't do this, forgive me please." I heard the soft click of the door and knew he had left, I collapsed in a heap on the floor and let the sorrow consume me.
Things changed for us after that day. We never spoke about what happened. Every time I tried to talk to him alone, he figured a way out of it. We were never alone again, he started doing his homework in the library or we did it in the kitchen where anyone could walk in. We went through the motions of being friends, but the closeness and familiarity was now gone.
It took the better part of the next semester before we were truly comfortable with one another again and I deeply buried the love I felt every time I saw him. If having him in my life meant only being his friend, I knew that it was better than nothing, even if it did break my heart a little more each time.
As graduation came upon us, I was never so sure of my decision to go to school in Austin. I needed to be as far away from him as possible so my heart could try and mend all the holes he had put there. Graduation day came and went, with Edward graduating first and me graduating second in our class. We gave our respective speeches about the next steps in our lives and so on and so on. We threw our caps in the air and as mine flew from my hand, I knew I was ready for the next step in my life that wouldn't include seeing Edward on a daily basis.
We spent the summer having fun with our friends and getting ready to head to college. We never stepped foot in that fort again. As the end of summer approached, our families planned a big goodbye party for us. We were both packed up with small U-haul trailers on the back of our cars. We chose to go alone without parents, ready to start our college lives as grown men.
The going away party was in full swing and I was preparing myself to say goodbye to him without making a fool out of myself. I was committing to memory the way he looked in his madras plaid shorts and navy polo shirt. His feet were incased in brown leather sandals and I tried to keep myself from staring at him. He was gorgeous.
I drank a little more than I should have, but I needed the alcohol to numb me from the scorching pain that telling him goodbye was going to cause me. I danced, I laughed, I hugged and said 'See you soon' to all my friends. As the night wound down and the time to go was near, I finally decided to seek him out and tell him goodbye since we would both be leaving late the next morning. I found him out on the patio and went and stood next to him. He looked over at me and exhaled loudly.
"Well, I guess this is it Jazz. Time to go be responsible college kids and prepare ourselves or the real world. It's all such bullshit." he laughed.
I stayed silent while he spoke and listened carefully to every word he said.
"Thanks for being the best friend anyone could have ever had, Jasper. I never would have made it through it all without you." I watched him out of the corner of my eye as he ran his hands through his hair in agitated strokes.
"Just because we are going to different schools doesn't mean that we won't be best friends anymore. I am going to miss you like hell, it will suck not to see you every day, you know?"
"Yeah, Edward, believe me I know. I will miss you too man, but it will be fine. We've been inseparable for ten years, we had to cut the cord sometime."
He burst out laughing at that and I knew now was the time to get the hugs over with. I turned toward him and held an arm out. He walked into me and grasped me tightly with both arms and I wrapped mine around him as well. I tried to memorize the smell of his hair and skin to take with me. We stood there or a full five minutes and then I felt him slowly shift and he placed his face in my neck. I froze as I felt him take a deep breath and place a tender kiss there. Then he pulled back suddenly, and placed a forceful kiss on my lips.
"Goodbye, Jasper." he uttered in a strangled cry as he ran back into the house.
I held my hand to my burning lips and slowly walked towards my house as the hot tears ran down my face.
College went off without a hitch. I loved all my classes and was happy to be back in the south. Edward and I communicated via email or Facebook at least twice a week. We phoned each other every Sunday, it was like old times. We saw each other at breaks when we both flew home and still had a great time together. It was like nothing had ever changed, aside from the fact that I was so in love him I ached every minute of every day, but I acted like everything was just peachy.
The winter break of our junior year is when my heart broke for good. That was when Edward told me about Bella.
We were sitting at a coffee shop, shooting the shit about classes and professors. He was fidgeting in his seat like he had something to say, but I knew if I pushed him to talk, it would only take longer for him to tell me.
He was looking down into his coffee when he told me.
"I met someone, Jasper. Her name is Isabella Swan and we have been dating for the past few months. She is flying here to meet everyone in the family, you included."
Time stood still for me as I tried to process what he told me. I was trying to keep myself from hyperventilating as the hurt engulfed me.
"She is the one, Jazz, and I am going to ask her to marry me when she comes. I know it has only been a few months, but when you know, you just know!"
"Why didn't you tell me Edward? Why keep it a secret. I talk to you every week and you never once mentioned a girlfriend." I didn't understand why he kept this from me, did he want to see me lose control? Could he possibly know how I felt about him? The thought terrified me.
"I just felt like I needed to tell you in person for some reason. I owed it to you. If you were seeing someone, I would have hoped for the same courtesy from you."
I gathered up all the emotions raging in a storm, slipped on the "friends mask" and told him how happy I was or him. We clapped each other on the back as we left the coffee shop, but neither one of us had our hearts in it.
He asked her to marry him and of course she said yes. Everyone in Edward's family just loved her and they were so thrilled about the upcoming nuptials. I threw myself into my schoolwork and slowly faded from Edward's radar. Our weekly phone calls became monthly phone calls and since he split his time at the breaks between Bella's family and his own, I didn't see him as much.
We both graduated from college and we watched each other cross the stage. The wedding was fast approaching, since they decided to get married the summer after graduation. Edward called me and told me that they were each only going to have one attendant on the altar and that they each picked their siblings. I told him that was fine and I understood, but I was silently thanking God for not making me put up with the torture of standing next to him while he gave himself to her.
Emmett threw him the bachelor party of the century. All of our friends present and past were there. There was alcohol and strippers galore. There were stacks of ones handed to all the guys as they walked in the door. I watched in disgust as Edward received lap dance after lap dance from the disgusting whores masquerading as exotic dancers. As I watched him, I tried to wrap my head around the fact that in two days, I would lose him forever.
I went home that night and cried my self to sleep. I was woken up the next morning by knocking on my bedroom door. I groaned, got out of bed and opened the door. It was Edward. I thought his jaw was going to hit the floor as he took in my appearance. I stood there in my boxers, with my hair a mess and my body flushed from sleep.
Edward stood there for a moment staring at me, and then he shook his head and looked into my eyes.
"Jasper, can I please talk to you?"
"Yes, Edward, give me a minute to get dressed and I will be right down."
I slowly got dressed and walked down the stairs. He was in the living room of my parents' house, pulling his hair and pacing in circles. I just wanted to wrap my arms around him and calm him down, but that wasn't in my job description, it was in Bella's.
"Okay, Edward. What the hell was so important that you had to wake me up at 8am to talk about?"
He looked up at me with wild eyes and stopped pacing.
"I'm getting married tomorrow." he whispered.
"Yes, I know."
"I'm scared, Jasper. What if I am making a big mistake? What if I am trying to make everyone else happy instead of myself?" He was looking up at me with tears in his eyes and I didn't know what to say.
"Do you love her Edward?"
"Then I don't understand what the fuss is about. You are just nervous because the wedding is tomorrow. Saying 'I do' for the rest of your life is a really big step, but if you love her, you are doing the right thing here." I felt my heart try to keep beating as the words that were killing me poured from my mouth.
Edward walked up to the bottom of the stairs and looked up at me with blazing eyes, trying to get a reign on his emotions.
"Jasper, is there any reason you can give me not to go through with the wedding tomorrow? Any at all?"
What the fuck was he asking me? Was it a trick question? Did he want me to get on my hands and knees and beg him to choose me? That shit wasn't going to happen, if he wanted me, which lets be honest was a long shot, he would have to be the one to tell me.
"No, Edward, I can't think of any reason why you shouldn't marry Bella. She is a good girl and she will make you happy."
I didn't meet his eyes as he muttered his acceptance of my words and I watched his back as that beautiful boy walked out of the door and out of my life.
I was so fucking stupid. I was so pissed that he was getting married that I didn't speak up when I had the chance. I recognized the look on his face now for what it was. He was looking at me with the same emotions I had when I looked at him. I didn't know if his were love, but before he pledged his love to another in front of God and everybody, I had to know.
I threw some money down on the bar, grabbed my suit coat and ran out the door. I put on my helmet, jumped on my Ducati and sped off towards the church. I prayed I wasn't too late to tell Edward that I loved him and I could only hope he would tell me the same in return.
I pulled up in front of the church and was distraught to see people exiting the sanctuary. I was too late. My heart broke for the last fucking time in my life and this time I didn't know if I would survive. I knew right then and there that I couldn't live without him and I prayed for God to take me quickly. I sat there and cried for the love I lost as people walked past me.
"So sad….shouldn't have happened to a girl that nice…"
My ears perked up and I grabbed the hand of the man walking past.
"What is sad?" I asked.
"Wedding was called off by the groom at the last minute, th-"
I didn't let him finish as I took off running for the church. I flew up the stairs and strode threw the front doors. There I saw Edward's family huddled in the front, but I saw no sign of Edward. I snuck around them and walked to the back where the bride and groom rooms were. I rounded the corner and saw Edward and Bella, foreheads touching, words being whispered between the two.
I tried to back away, but I hit the wall and both sets of red, swollen eyes turned towards me. Bella gave me a weak smile and turned back towards Edward. She gave him a soft kiss and walked towards me. She stopped in front of me and reached out a hand to caress the purple marks under my eyes. She then took a hold of my hand and walked me over to Edward where she placed my hand in his, kissed us both on the cheek and walked off.
We stood there for countless seconds as time stood still. Then I heard him say in the faintest of whispers, "It was always you, Jasper."
I couldn't believe my ears, I just knew they were playing tricks on me. He saw the confusion on my face, so he tilted my chin up and looked me in the eye while he spoke loud and clear.
"I love you, I have always loved you. You are everything to me and I am so sorry I denied what I felt all those years ago. I only hope you can forgive me, although, I can't imagine being graced with any more forgiveness than I have already today."
The sobs broke free from my chest and racked my body as years of emotions erupted. He held me as we slid down the wall onto the floor. He let me cry for all the times I wished to hear him say those words to me and never did. I cried for the years we lost, the kisses we missed and the caresses I longed for.
As the sobs slowly subsided, I looked up into his eyes and saw the love reflecting back to my own. I gently placed my lips against his and they moved languidly back and forth over each other as kiss after kiss consumed us. His silky tongue swept my mouth over and over again and we poured all of our combined love for one another into that kiss.
"Edward, I have loved you since I was 16 years old and I will love you for the rest of my life. You are the only man who I have ever kissed and the only person I have ever touched. Your hands are the only hands I want on me for the rest of my life. You are who I long to come home every day and you are the only one I want to make love to every night."
As the last words escaped my mouth, he wrapped his arms around me and I realized that I was finally home for good.