A/N: First and foremost the thanks for this one goes out to OnTheTurningAway...without her this would be in my recycle bin and unedited.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything but a Hello Kitty Binder for my stories
Staring at myself in the mirror, I had never been so terrified in my entire life. Dragging my fingers through my already unruly hair, I was trying to figure out when I let it get this far. The lies, the deceit...they were debilitating. Looking at my reflection from head to toe, I took in the tux, the cummerbund and the shoes. All of these things put together made up the image of a man that was supposed to be ready to celebrate the happiest day of his life. There was nothing happy in the face staring back at me.
You are such a fucking coward, but you deserve this and so does she. She deserves forever and you promised to give it to her.
The knocking on the door shook me out of my reverie. "Come in," I called out.
"Hey little man, it is almost time to get this show on the road," Emmett boomed. He was so damn excited about this wedding, I was the polar opposite.
Laying my forehead on the mirror I rasped, "Is he here?" Just asking the question made my heart start pounding. I couldn't do it without him, I couldn't do this alone. No matter how many other people were there if he wasn't there, I wouldn't feel whole.
Emmett was glancing at me out of the corner of his eye, gaging my reaction. "No, Edward, no one has seen him."
The tears immediately clogged my throat and I took a shuddering breath. "He won't answer the phone," I muttered quietly. Turning to face my brother I whispered, "I can't go through with this if he isn't there Em. If this marriage was truly meant to happen and he believed it was the right thing to do, he would fucking be here."
Emmett reached his arm out to me, "Please find him Em." The tears that had crowded my voice had finally made their way north and my eyes were rimmed in red.
"Edward, are you sure you want to go through with this? I still don't think this is a good plan." He handed me a tissue, "Here, wipe your nose man, it's glistening."
Chuckling slightly at that, I tried to hold back the tears. All I needed was to meet Bella at the altar with a red, splotchy face. That would make her feel like shit and she deserved to be treated like a queen for marrying me.
"I have to do this, Em. She doesn't deserve to get stood up at her wedding. I just need you to go find Jasper." Pushing him towards the door, my eyes begged him to do this for me.
"I will try to call him, Edward, but I am not leaving to track him down. Think about what we talked about last night, you still have some time to do the right thing." He turned to leave and gave me a pointed look as he walked out the door.
"Fuck," I yelled out into the room. Didn't he see I was doing the right thing? Me walking down that aisle and saying I do was the best thing for Bella. She was the innocent victim in all of this. She had done nothing except offer her entire heart and soul to me on a platter and I couldn't throw it away on a whim. That was all I had, a whim. The fact that Jasper wasn't here only made my doubt stronger.
If you getting married didn't really bother him, he would be here, right? He had to be feeling something?
The questions was, what? When I went to see him the morning after my bachelor party, I had prayed for him to give me a reason not to get married. I flat out asked him and all he did was push me to Bella...he doesn't want you, Edward. Not that way, not anymore. Maybe he never did.
At that thought, a soft cry tore through my chest. Needing to get it all out, I let myself have the breakdown that had been looming all day. The quiet whimpers made way for the loud, racking sobs that shook my entire body. I cried for him, for the man who had my heart and had no clue. Pulling the picture of us from that fated night in high school, I brought it to my lips and sighed. Closing my eyes and letting the tears run down, I reached into the back cavern of my mind and remembered the night that changed my life.
It was the New Year's Eve of our senior year in high school and my parent's annual party was in full swing. The guests were annoying and the alcohol was flowing. Jasper always attended with me so I wouldn't be bored. My parents rented us both tuxes, let us drink, gave us free reign of the fireworks and then we had a sleepover. We had been doing it since we were freshmen and finally allowed to attend the festivities and tonight was no different.
I had been making the rounds, going from one boring doctor and spouse to another. It was hell, but it was what was expected of me as the son of Carlisle Cullen. My father was a prominent surgeon in Forks and I had been groomed from birth to follow in his footsteps. I never questioned that path, in fact I think if it were up to me I would have chosen it myself.
The midnight hour was getting close, which meant fireworks were going to be let off by me and Jasper in the woods very soon. The thought made me smile, finishing the champagne in my hands, I set the cup down and looked for him. Walking through the house, I checked all the rooms, he was nowhere to be found. My mom was in the kitchen, getting the party favors for the stroke of midnight.
Walking up behind her, I hugged her and pecked her on the head. "Mom, have you seen Jasper?"
Looking back at me she nodded, "Yes, baby. He went out the back door not too long ago."
Grinning, I kissed her again and yelled, "Thanks," as I ran out the door. He must be getting a head start on the fun, I thought to myself. My short jaunt through the woods showed no sign of Jasper.
'Where could he be?' I wondered.
There was only one other place I could think of to look, so I jogged to the fort. As I got closer, I heard the unmistakable sounds of someone crying?
'What the fuck?'
Pushing the door open, I saw him. There was Jasper, sitting on the couch and crying into his arms which were folded around his legs.
'Oh, God...what happened?'
I gingerly made my way over to him so he wouldn't be startled, I gently touched his shoulder. He jerked away from me and looked up at my eyes. His face was wet and shiny with tears. It broke my fucking heart to see him like this. Slowly standing up, he never took his eyes off mine as he faced me.
"What's wrong, Jasper? Why are you so upset?" I whispered into the cool air surrounding us.
When he started to shake his head, I couldn't take it anymore, so I gathered him to me and held him while he cried. It seemed like forever, but for some reason I relished being the one who held him while he was upset. I always had to be touching him somehow when he was near, so it only made sense that I took care of him while he was upset. Never having thought about it before but feeling it at that moment, I guess we were just comfortable with one another.
He slowly started to calm down and his shoulders were hardly shaking anymore. 'God he fit so perfect here.' What a bizarre feeling it was to think that.
When he finally pulled back, my eyes were questioning him as to what had caused the breakdown and he still said nothing. He had a lock of curls that were hanging down in his eyes and I reached up to move them out of the way. As I did that, his eyes closed and his head turned towards my hand. I felt him plant a soft kiss in the middle of my palm and this white hot fire seared through my body starting at my palm and ending at my cock which sprung to life immediately.
'What the fuck?'
He brought his hooded gaze up to mine and his grey eyes were swirling with so many emotions, and mine were doing the exact same. My breathing was harsh and I started panting to try and calm down. Never once did our gazes break until he looked down at my mouth. As I took a deep breath, my lips parted and my tongue came out to lick them. He watched the entire thing while his breathing became more labored. When he saw me lick my lip, it was like he snapped. He reached out, grabbed my hair and slammed his mouth to mine.
Time stood still for a minute while I tried to comprehend the fact that Jasper was kissing me. He had his mouth on mine and 'fuck it', I wanted it there. I slowly allowed my mouth to start moving against his and he groaned out loud, making my dick even more painfully hard. Holy fuck it was so intense, the feelings rushing through my body as he slipped his tongue into my mouth. Never once had it felt like this when I had kissed a girl, never. I needed more, so I grabbed onto him and held him with all my might.
Our hips came together next and when I felt the hardness of his cock against mine, I almost came right then. The sensation of feeling him against me in that way was mind blowing. Needing to relieve even part of the fire in my dick, I ground my hips against him and we both moaned loudly. It felt so fucking good.
As he trailed his delicious mouth down my neck, my body writhed in pleasure. When he fused our mouths back together, I needed to cum so badly that I was almost in pain. He shoved me back onto the couch and straddled my lap while I pushed his jacket off. I needed to 'feel' him against me, my body was crying out to feel his scorching skin against my own.
"Fuck me, he was so hot right now as he dominated our every move.'
He pulled back from my mouth, leaving me dying for more. He took my jacket off and sat back on my knees. When I finally looked up at him, he was gazing at me with questioning eyes. I knew him so well, he always made sure it was okay before he did anything and now was no different. Even in this situation, he always put me in the front of his thoughts.
'I was so confused, what were we doing? What was this? Did I want it to continue?'
Looking deep into his slate eyes, I knew what I wanted. In that moment, at that minute he was it. The nourishment my body craved to survive and I needed him or I thought I would die. A feral growl ripped through my body as I grabbed his face and pulled his mouth down to mine. This time I took over, I was the dominant one. Plunging my tongue into his mouth, I took the time to appreciate the flavor that was all Jasper. He tasted like champagne, strawberries and silk. It was so delicious.
The fevered tempo of our bodies slowed to an unhurried pace as we enjoyed each others mouths over and over again. Wet satin against fiery silk moved together languidly. As the kisses became deeper, our cocks begged for more as our hips found the rhythm of our mouths. Teasing caresses became powerful thrusts as both of our bodies begged for release. It was overwhelming to feel like this for him.
When he stood up, I nearly cried. I wasn't ready for this to be over. He looked at me as he started to remove his clothing. 'Oh hell no...that's my job and I was fucking ready to do it.'
Slowly removing his shirts, I exposed more and more of his gorgeous sun-kissed skin. His body was hard and defined. It was fucking perfection. Throwing the shirts on the ground, I could finally have access to the planes of his torso. Placing my hands on him was a lesson in control because my fingers wanted to touch every square inch all at once. Wanting him to be treated like the priceless piece of artwork that he was, I softly traced the lines of his muscles. My nails lightly grazed his pebbled nipples as I followed the path his body lead me on. He groaned softly as my fingers caressed the line of blonde hair leading down to what I wanted the most. Each sound he made was music to my ears and made me more confident in my endeavor.
As my hands came to the waist of his pants, I went to undo them. Falling around his ankles, his fucking cock was finally almost uncovered and I was screaming internally to grasp it in my fist and see if it fit there as perfect as he did in my arms. Licking my lips, I went to take the boxers off. His hand reached out to stop me...'noooo' my body protested. Why?
He winked at me and then slowly undressed me with even greater care than I had shown him. He worshiped every inch of my skin with his blazing hot mouth as he exposed it. I was unable to control the sharp hisses that escaped my mouth as he got closer to my hips. Jasper then sat me on the couch and removed my socks and shoes. Then he did something that that was almost the death of me...he placed his mouth on my navel as his hands undid my pants. The sensation was indescribable. The luscious heaven that I was in couldn't get any better.
Jasper was in front of me, on his knees and all these images of him wrapping his mouth around me went flying through my mind. My fantasy nearly became reality as I felt him press his mouth to the head of my cock over my boxers....HOLY FUCK!!
My hips jumped up off the couch and into his face. He had set my body ablaze with lust. Looking down at him, he was silently asking my permission.
'Oh...could I go this far? I needed this so bad...' Giving him permission with my eyes, the rest of my control snapped and I gave in to the gorgeous man in front of me. Closing my eyes, I laid my head on the back of the couch as his mouth trailed hot, wet kisses from one hip to the other. When his hands slipped into my boxers, I could barely keep my body from embarrassing me as I was more than ready to cum everywhere. Willing my cock not to explode, I tried to calm myself down.
When I felt Jasper's satin lips on the head of my dick I saw fucking stars explode behind my eyes. I groaned out loud, "Jasper, oh God, please." My voice was so fucking needy, but I didn't give a shit. I wanted his fucking mouth on me...NOW!
He warm hand cupped my sac and he licked my entire dick from bottom to top and my mouth let out an animalistic roar...it felt so fucking good. His blonde curls were moving up and down as he mouth fucked me into oblivion. When he started to moan as well I couldn't hold back anymore and tried to pull out of his hot little mouth. Shaking his head, he sucked even harder as the convulsions over took me and I came hard down his throat.
Seeing him swallow it all was the biggest turn on...EVER! When he opened his eyes back up to me after kissing the head once more, I yanked him up to me and attacked his gifted mouth. My taste was still in his mouth as my tongue slid in, but I didn't care, I needed to show him with my kiss what I couldn't say to him at that moment.
Fuck, I needed to see his face as he came too. I wanted to make him feel as good as he just made me feel. Lightly nipping at his neck, I allowed my hand to travel down to his cock and lightly caress it through his boxers. He was like granite, so very hard. Pulling back, I looked right into Jasper's stormy eyes and gave my hand a long, wet lick before I reached into his boxers and wrapped it around his shaft. His breathless moan set my hand in motion. I stroked his sleek, satiny length. Taking care to do the things that felt good to me. Twisting around the head at each upward stroke, I felt his body start to come apart in my hands. He shuddered towards a release and I felt him cum all over my hand as he buried his face in my neck.
As we sat there, and our breathing started to return to normal, the enormity of what just happened slammed down on me and I felt sick.
'Oh my god...did we just...fuck...oh god, oh shit...'
As he pulled back to clean up and get dressed, my world came crashing down around me.
'This can't be happening...what did it mean? I am not gay...fuck, is Jasper? He had to be, right? What did I just do? My parents...Emmett...oh shit...'
He tried to touch me and I flinched back from him. He needed to stay the fuck away from me right now. This was something I needed to deal with alone. The silent tears rolled down my face and I saw him walk over to the window. This ended here, it had to. There was no other choice, I was groomed to be a doctor, a husband and a father. There was no room for anything else in my life that didn't fit into the plan.
Slowly making my over to the discarded tux, I dressed myself and kept glancing over at him. He didn't say a fucking word. I couldn't take it anymore. Walking to the door I whispered to him, "I am so sorry, Jasper. I can't do this, forgive me please."
I ran out the door and fell down about halfway to the house and cried myself out. I put all the things I felt and experienced under lock and key and promised to forget and move on. I didn't have a choice but to do that.
Looking at that picture in my hand I wished I would have been stronger then. I should have fought harder, for me...for him. How was I supposed to know what I felt at 17 was love? The truest kind that you can't survive without, that you thrive on. Why did I have to wait until I was getting married to realize all of it? My insides were twisting painfully around themselves and I was so thankful no one was close enough to hear me cry.
Kissing the picture one last time, I put it in my pocket and went to wash my face. Glancing at the mirror, I saw my reflection and it was hideous...I needed to calm down and fast. It felt cleansing to cry for Jasper one last time, I had to let him go.
Emmett chose that moment to walk back in. He balked at the sight of me, "Shit, Edward, you look like ass."
"Thanks, asshole,"I muttered.
He grabbed me by the arm as I tried to walk off, "You can't go through with it. I couldn't get him to answer, but you can't do this to yourself or Bella. It's not right, Edward."
"Then what's right, Emmett?" I roared back. "To break her fucking heart on her wedding day? Is that the right thing?" Rage was flowing through every vein and seething through every pore in my body.
"I gave him his chance," fury laced every word. "He told me he could give me no reason not to get married. I asked him point blank, so what reason do I have Emmett?"
This is ridiculous, you are giving yourself doubts. You love Bella...but you also love Jasper...FUCK!
"Edward, did you ever tell him how you felt? Ever once?" Fuck no! Was he crazy?
I let out an exasperated sigh, "No, Em, I did not. Why would I do that? All it would do was make everything worse, don't you see?" Duh, shithead.
Suddenly he had be my lapels and up against the wall."You are a fucking idiot and right now I can't believe we are related. Why would he ever put himself out there, you knew how he felt. I knew how he felt. Never once did you give him any indication that you felt anything but friendship for him."
"I asked him the other night...put me down fucker!" I yelled back. He dropped me on the ground.
"No you didn't," he bellowed. "You asked if he could give you a reason, but you never told him you loved him so he knew he was an option. You expected him to put it all on the line for you when you gave nothing in return. You are going to fix that right the fuck now!"
Oh, God...I didn't tell him...I wanted him to tell me...I repeatedly hurt him over and over and he never gave up being my friend. I knew he felt more...I could feel it...I had to stop this wedding.
My father waked in the door just then, "You ready son?" Taking one look at me he knew something was wrong, "What is it son?"
"I need to see Bella, Dad...now." I quietly added.
His face was crestfallen, "Why, Edward?" He did not look happy.
"There is something I need to tell her, before the wedding." I looked down at the ground, not wanting to meet his eyes. "Please..."
"There is no one stopping you son, but you better know what you are doing, " he added emphatically.
"Dad, I have never been so sure in my life," I called back as I walked out the door to the bridal suite.
Each step closer brought a new wave of fear and apprehension. I did not want to hurt Bella, not at all and she was going to be. I did love her, deeply, just not the same way I loved Jasper.
Walking up to the door, the dread sunk in. This was going to be the hardest thing I ever had to do besides walking away from Jasper that night of New Year's Eve.
Knocking, I called out to her. "Bella...it's Edward..."
I heard her dress rustle over to the door, "What are you doing here, you can't see me before the wedding." She was muffled through the door.
Ughhh, this was going to be terrible.
"I need to talk to you, now please..." I called through the door.
"Oh, Edward, why?" her voice was starting to break and in turn it broke me. I fucking started crying again.
"Open the door sweetie," I rasped.
She slowly turned the knob and I was face to face with her. She looked so beautiful and it killed me to see her like was chewing the hell out of her lip and I reached out to pull it loose from her teeth. Her eyes were rapidly filling with tears as she took in my haggard appearance.
She held open the door for me to come in, but I couldn't bring myself to enter the room where she prepared for this day. Pulling on her hand, I walked her out to the private patio.
We stood there in silence for a few minutes before she finally spoke, "You are calling it off, aren't you?"
Looking her straight in the eyes, I nodded. "I am so…"
"Save it," she interrupted. "I really don't want or need to hear any excuses right now."
Running my hands through my hair, I was at a loss for words. "Bella, I need you to hear me out...please?"
She put her hand up, "No...I really can't right now." Her tears were running freely down her cheeks now.
She walked over to me, held up my ring and went to slip it into my pocket. "I won't be needing this today."
When she pulled out her hand, the picture came with it. I gasped and her eyes flew up to meet mine.
"Why is this in your pocket, Edward?" she asked curiously.
"I....uhh.....fuck!" I was stammering like an idiot. Fucking great.
"Do you always have this? On you?" she wondered.
Not looking at her, I nodded.
"I see...okay...here." She handed it back to me and walked to the door where my brother was standing.
He opened the door, "You guys ok?"
Neither of us said a word. "Well, we took care of things in here...everyone is leaving. So....yeah." He walked back in the church.
Bella started for the door again, yanking off her veil. I went after her and caught her right inside the room. I placed my forehead against hers and she let out a deep breath.
"I am so sorry, Bella. I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you if you let me. I just couldn't do this, it wasn't fair to you."
She whispered back, "I know you are...but you can't make it up to me for the rest of your life. That's stupid, you have a life to live and you can't choose who you love..."
"I do love you, Bella," I needed her to understand that.
"I know you do, just not enough, huh? I wish you had realized this soo.." We both turned at the sound of something hitting the wall.
The air filled with an electrical whir when I laid eyes on the cause of the noise.
He was here.
He looked even worse than I did, his sapphire eyes were tired and sad. His lids were red-rimmed and he looked like he hadn't slept. He looked as broken as I felt and it was my fault. All of it was my fault and I didn't deserve either of them. Thank fuck we don't always get what we deserve.
Bella turned her head back to me and gave me a kiss, "Be happy, Edward."
She walked slowly over to him and caressed under his eyes before taking his hand and walking him over to me. Placing his hand in mine, she leaned over and kissed each of us on the cheek and walked back into the Bride's room. My heart was straining with hurt for her. I would figure out how to fix it one day.
Looking back up at Jasper, he was so perfect and I loved him. Now I had to tell him before I lost it all. He was everything I had always wanted, why was I too blind to see?
I faintly whispered, "It was always you, Jasper." Trying to rein in my emotions that burst open at my admission, I had to finish, I had to tell him everything.
The tears fell from my eyes as I met his shiny, wet eyes. The love that filled my chest was so powerful, so all-encompassing, why did I deny us?
"I love you, I have always loved you. You are everything to me and I am so sorry I denied what I felt all those years ago. I only hope you can forgive me, although, I can't imagine being graced with any more forgiveness than I already have today."
His graceful shoulders began to shake as he cried out and let the tears take over. I wrapped my arms around my beautiful angel. He cried like I had in the room earlier and I held him as we slid down to the ground. Memories of the fort came flooding back in as I remembered holding him then when he was so upset. My tears continued to flow as we sat there, but these tears were cleansing and therapeutic for me and I hoped his were as well.
When he finally began to calm down, I looked at him and let all of my love for him shine through, I needed him to see how I felt about him. He smiled and leaned forward to kiss me. We sat there for a long time, letting our mouths and tongues glide lazily over one another. It was peaceful, it was wonderful, it was home.
Then, he finally spoke to me. "Edward, I have loved you since I was 16 years old and I will love you for the rest of my life. You are the only man I have ever kissed and the only person I have ever touched. Your hands are the only hands I want on me for the rest of my life. You are who I long to come home to every day and you are the only one I want to make love to every night."
A huge smile broke across both our faces and I wrapped my arms around him once again, holding him for dear life. I would never let him go again.
Later that evening, when we had sorted through the wedding issue and Bella's father had punched me, we finally made it to his house. We were both so exhausted, but I needed him, I needed to be close to him and I hoped he wouldn't deny me.
When we walked in the door, I pulled Jasper into my arms and laid my mouth against his. He immediately flipped me around and pushed me into the wall. Our kisses turned hurried and frantic immediately, we were both desperate to feel each other after all this time. Begging for entrance into his mouth, my tongue swept in when he parted his lips.
We both groaned loudly into each other's mouth. His taste was fucking heaven to me. I was desperate for more. I reached under the hem of his shirt and yanked it up and over his head.
"Fuck, Jasper...I want you so fucking bad..." I rasped as I grabbed his hips and ground my erection right into his.
"God, Edward...I fucking need you...so bad...please..." he begged as he started yanking at my clothes. We were both so crazy with lust, and 100% in love. It made for the best fucking feeling in the world. We were grabbing at buckles and pants and trying to kick off our shoes.
"Fuck it," he growled as he hauled me towards him and picked me up. I wrapped my legs around his waist and our cocks were pressed together, gaining much needed friction.
He walked us into his room and we fell onto the bed. Our ragged breaths were loud in the silence and we stared at each other with love and adoration. His honey colored curls framed his beautiful face and made his crystal blue eyes stand out perfectly. He was all I would ever need as long as I lived and I couldn't wait to spend forever with him.
Leaning forward, I sighed into his mouth, "This doesn't have to be fast, Jasper. We have all night..." My tongue slowly came out and traced the shape of his lips and he moaned quietly. It was a sweet rapture to my ears. Opening up his mouth to me, I explored his once again. We kissed long and hard, wet and sweet. I was ready to cum from just kissing his delectable mouth, but I needed more.
Rolling me onto my back, he whispered back, "We have forever, Edward." My eyes filled with tears at those words.
What did I do to deserve the precious gift of his love?
"Make love to me, Jasper," I moaned into his ear.
He pinned me to the bed underneath him. "Are you sure, Edward? Because there will be no going back, you will be mine for fucking ever..." he growled in my ear.
Bucking my hips into his I cried out, "Yes...please baby...forever, me and you...I need you now baby."
Excitement and fear flowed through me all at once. I had no idea what I was getting into, but I knew with Jasper, it would all turn out okay.
He buried his hot, wet mouth into my neck and slid his teeth down as his hands unbuttoned and removed my pants. He trailed kisses down my chest that were intermittent with nips from his teeth. It was torture, it was passionate, it was erotic. He trailed back up, his tongue following the path of his teeth until his lightly bit down on my nipple as he palmed my cock.
Fuck...still the aggressor...still on fucking fire!
I couldn't take it anymore, I flipped him over and yanked his jeans and boxers off of him all at once. Holy shit...he was exquisite.
His skin was warm and soft and I wanted to lick every square inch of it, but now was not the time. I crawled up his body and let my boxer clad dick slide along his naked one.
"Fuck," he whimpered.
Rolling me back over so he was on top, he kissed me with everything he had, attacking my mouth with his. Then just as quickly he pulled away. He flipped me on my stomach and pulled my boxers off. I felt his tongue drag all the way up my leg until he was right at my ass. He grabbed my hips, yanked me legs up towards him and slid his tongue along my crack while he grasped my dick in his hand.
"Jasper...Fuck!" I screamed, cumming forcefully on the bed underneath me. My body convulsed as the strongest orgasm of my life overtook me. He softly kissed his way up my back as he covered his body with my own. We slid to the side so he could push the comforter on the floor and he turned me back around so that I was on my back underneath him once again.
"Gorgeous," he moaned into my mouth as he kissed me, deeply.
"I need you...inside me...now," I groaned into his mouth.
He pulled back and crawled up over me to his nightstand. His dick was right by my mouth, so I licked it as he reached into the night stand. It was delicious.
He knelt back on the bed and flipped the cap of the oil he had in his hand and poured it directly onto his hand. He spread my legs with his knees as he got his fingers good and wet. Reaching down, he looked at me, "Are you sure, baby? I don't want to hurt you..."
He was so worried, "I want the hurt, Jasper. I need it I want to be yours in every sense of the word. I want you to make love to me, I need it so badly."
Stroking my hardening cock a few times, he made me moan, loud. He traced a path with his finger down to my ass and he very carefully slid one in. The feeling was indescribable. It didn't hurt, it actually felt really fucking good.
"You okay baby," he asked as he started to slide the finger in and out.
"God, yes...don't stop baby...feels fucking amazing..." My hips were grinding into his finger and I felt him start to slowly slide in a second one. That one actually burned a little bit, but I took a deep breath and relaxed into him. He leaned over and kissed me as he fucked my ass with his fingers. I was so desperate to cum again, he had to be going crazy.
He slowly began to scissor his fingers back and forth and I am not going to lie, that shit hurt. I was ready for the pain, I deserved it and he deserved the gift I wanted him to have.
Felling his slick fingers slide out of me, he trailed his mouth all the way up to my ear, "Are you ready?"
"Yes, Jasper..." I was ready, he was going to be all mine.
He reached into the drawer and pulled out a new box of condoms and tore it open, "I am always prepared." Smirking at me, he moaned as he rolled the condom down his cock. It was a thing of beauty.
He poured more oil into my hand and I slowly started to stroke him, getting him slick and ready for me.
Pulling my legs up and around his waist he whispered, " I love you, Edward."
He placed the head of his cock at my entrance and slowly pushed the head in.
I gasped, "I love you too." That hurt. He waited a minute for me to relax and then slowly started to push in a little bit more, it burned like hell.
"Edward, baby, look at me...are you okay?" His eyes were full of concern and it made me love him even more.
"It's okay, Jasper. Just go slow." Trying my best to relax into him, I slowly pushed myself onto him. His hips started to rock very slowly and gently back and forth. With each stroke of his hips, he went a little further in. He was patient and took his time, even though I know it had to be making him crazy.
When he was finally all the way in, he stilled. A single tear rolled down my face and I tried to hide the pain from him. He knew, he always did.
When the pain started to dull to a slow burn, I moved my hips, giving him the signal that we were okay.
He moved in and out of me in long, slow strokes. My legs wrapped around his waist and he reached down to grasp my dick in his hand, stroking it to the rhythm of his hips.
The pain was fading as the pleasure of his hand began to take over.
"Oh, fuck..." I moaned as his hands began to move faster.
He groaned out loud, " I can't hold on much longer, baby....about to cum."
When those words left his mouth, they sent me over the edge. "Fuck, Jasper....I'm gonna fucking cum."
"Come with me baby," he growled. "Now!" he demanded.
"Ahhhhhhh..." I screamed as the cum shot from my dick in streams all over my stomach and chest.
He threw his head back and cried out, "Fuck....ughhhh....I love you....fucking shit, Edward!" His face was so beautiful as he came. His body convulsed inside mine and I knew then that forever was ours to have.
We belonged together and nothing could separate us now.
Exhausted, he collapsed on me. "Ughhh, you're wet and cold." He smiled at me.
"Wonder why?" I asked.
"That's it, Edward. Shower time." He dragged me off the bed and we headed into the bathroom. After the water heated up, he stepped inside and held his hand out to me.
"Get in here, baby." Smiling, I walked over and got in. We took turns washing one another and decided to forgo clothes when we got out.
Walking down to the other bedroom, where the sheets were clean, we dropped our towels and got into the bed. He pulled me to him and curled his body around mine.
"I love you, Edward. Forever." he sighed as he kissed the side of my neck.
Turning around, my lips met his. "I love you too, Jasper. Forever." Curling up into the man I loved, I knew we would face whatever life threw at us as long as we were always together.
A/N: Are we all happy? Do I still need to tie it up in a bow and make it pretty for Bella and the boys? Let me know...also, if you are reading Project Seduce Mr. Whitlock there is now a thread for it and the link is on my profile.
Thanks to all who read this and those who reviewed it...do it again for me, please? They make me a happy girl....