This is for my friends and ego-strokers psilverswirl and niflow, for prompting and giving me the confidence for this.

Zack was starting to get paranoid. It couldn't have been a coincidence, not at all. There was no way this could all be a coincidence.

It all started when Sephiroth, out of nowhere, had mentioned that if he wanted more 'fun' in his life, there was a pair of handcuffs that Genesis was fond of using that were quite comfortable and had an unbreakable chain, and that the man kept them very clean, if Zack wanted to borrow them.

The surprise of this and the implication that the General had had them used on him caused the boy's brain to short-circuit, and he took off in a dead run, wanting to get away from the distressing - and arousing - images.

This proved not to help him at all when the first person he ran into - literally - was Genesis himself. As Zack gripped at his arms, gasping for breath, Genesis asked, "And where are you running off to so quickly, hmm?"

"I... you... cuffs...?"

One elegant eyebrow arched, before a slow, sultry smile spread across the red SOLDIER's face. "Oh, you wanted to borrow them, did you? For use with our dear Commander Hewley? He makes the most beautiful faces when he's restrained and can't touch..."

Zack stared in shock, unable to believe what he was hearing, before blurting out, "The General wants you," and taking off again to the amusement of the other man.

And so it had went, with Zack careening into various SOLDIERs, who, to a man, all remarked, "Cuffs? If you want a pair, talk to Genesis. He'll lend you some."

Finally, terrified that this was some wild conspiracy, Zack burst into the apartment he shared with his mentor and locked it, shaking.

"Puppy? Is something the matter?" Angeal asked as he came into view, looking a little worried. With a distressed cry, Zack launched himself into the man's arms, babbling.

"I love you, I'll do anything, just please don't offer to have Genesis lend me a pair of handcuffs!"

Angeal could only stare in confusion, assuring Zack that he had no such intentions and stroking his hair, wondering what had happened.

Privately, he hoped his student would change his mind - those cuffs really were comfortable, and would look so good on Zack's fair skin.

And look, I managed a Fair joke!