''Yes, you are!''
''No, I'm not!''
''Yes, you are!''
''Just shut up!''
''Why should I do that?''
''Because you are a bad mother. The worst mother in the world! You even don't care about me! I hate you!''
Sound of a knife.
''Mom.. What are you doing.. Mom, stop. Mom, don't do….!''
There was blood. Lots of blood..
I wake up screaming. My head is sweaty but I'm feeling cold.
About my mom. She died a year ago and it was all my fault. I yelled at her non-stop. I said so many terrible things.. She was not a bad mother. Not at all. I was a stupid, selfcentered daughter.. I just...
Tears are falling down on my oversized T-shirt I usually sleep in. I've been waking up like this for the past year, always with those stupid tears. I don't know what I should or could do about it, but it's messing up my life.
Speaking of life... I glance at my alarmclock. I see it is six o'clock. Might as well get up. I swing my legs over the edge of my bed and stand up a little too fast, making my head rush. When it stops, I put my training gear on, take my Konoha forehead protector and leave. I'm not eating breakfast. I never do because I just hate it. Just like sweets. I hate those too...
So I just dash for the door.
When I'm outside, I smell something. It leads to a ramen shop, called Ichiraku Ramen. Maybe I'll eat there tonight. Not now, I have to train. My thoughts drift off.
Yesterday I was getting a mission from Tsunade-sama. I have to look for a missing girl from the Sand, with the help two other shinobi. The girl was already reported missing for a week, so we have to rescue her. Tsunade told me this could be a mission with a lot of riscs. That's why I've decided to train a little harder, I guess.
And I have to become stronger, to impress that 'one person'...
Yeah, I am in love.. And it happened just a few days ago...
I was just walking and talking with a friend of mine, Tenten. We were talking about boys. She told me she had fallen in love with Neji. I laughed, and I said I'd never fallen in love before. She looked at me with her mouth slightly opened in disbelief, but closed it quickly when she realized that she was being rude.
''Don't worry. Your boy will come along soon.'' she said hastedly. I knew she was trying to cover up her mistake.
And there he was. He was standing in a corner, leaning into the wall. Like he was waiting for someone. I looked at him, and he was looking back... His eyes! My heart was beating faster and faster! It was amazing! Just like he was looking right through my heart! It burned!
And then, he smiled.
Oh my gosh, I felt like my insides were about to explode! That smile! That was the most beautiful smile I'd ever seen before in my entire life! Tenten was looking at me like I was an idiot. Well, I guess that must've been the case. Everything seemed to fade to darkness, except for him. Like he was the light in my darkness!
And when I finally realized what I was doing, I looked away, walking faster, faster, until I was running. I bet that was what Tenten was feeling when she was with Neji.
I'm running as fast as I can. I hit a tree with my fist, and the tree falls down. I look at the results with a satisfied expression. I'm tired, so I'll call it a day. I've been trainig non-stop and it's beginning to take it's toll on me.
I look at the sun. It's evening already. I take my waterbottle and make my way to Ichiraku Ramen.
When I've arrived, an old man welcomes me. ''Hi, can I have some Miso Ramen?'' I ask.
''Sure.''. In no time I get warm ramen with some water. ''This is the best ramen in the whole world!'' says old man. I can only hope it's true, because I've been craving for some good ramen all day!
It only takes several minutes for the old man to fix me up my bowl and he hands it to me with a big, proud smile. "Here you go, miss! Itadakimasu!"
''Arigatou!'' I say, and I don't waste another second to dig in. Damn! That tastes good! That old man was right... This is the best ramen in the whole world! I love it! I'll eat here every day. Well... at least two days. After that I'm leaving from Konoha to search for the Sand girl. I'll miss Konoha and ofcourse, and this delicious source of food!! But I had to accept this mission, with those two other shinobi.
I even don't know who's with me! That's stupid!
I hope that ' one person' is on my team.. That person who I've admired since he is here in Konoha...
While thinking, I've already paid and I am walking the road home. I'm looking at de stars. They are wonderful.. They make me think about that 'one person'... Again.
I walked into a tree. My head bleeds a little bit. And it hurts. A lot!
Damn, I hope nobody saw it..
I look around.
Wait. Shit. Don't tell me.. No way!!
The boy on the other side of the street is laughing at me, and he crosses the street, walking straight in my direction.
''Are you all right?'' he asks.
''Yeah, I'm fine, thanks. Who are...'' I look into his face, and recognize him immediately. It's THE person. THE person called ...
The boy chuckled. "My name is Sai.''
I blush and I smile weakly. Shit, how embarrassing... Sai saw it happen.
He's obviously aware of my awkwardness. ''Don't worry about it. I won't tell a soul about your little accident." He pauses for a second, and looks at the little wound on my forehead. " You should take a look at that when you get home. It would be a shame if it gets infected and leaves a scar."
I feel myself shiver under his observating gaze.
"I have to go now. In about two days I'll be leaving from Konoha, on a mission with two other persons.'' Sai continues.
''You too? That's coincidence... I'm leaving in two days as well. Who's on your team?'' I ask.
''Dunno..'' answers Sai. ''How about you?''.
''Don't no either..''.
''Maybe we are the team..''.
I blush. ''Maybe..''.
''I hope so..''
I blush an even darker shade of red. I look at his face. He's blushing too! I know he tries to hide it.
Sai is looking at me in silence this time. It makes me uncomfortable, so I look down.
Suddenly, he breakes the silence. ''Well, I'll see you tomorrow! Bye!'' and with that, Sai leaves. He turns back to me for a moment, smiles that gorgeous smile of his, waves and runs away...
''Maybe we are a team..''.
''I hope so..''
My heart beats fast. Faster than ever. I love him. Does he love me too...?