Disclaimer: I do not own Transformers, it belongs to Hasbro and Paramount pictures…lucky them! XD
Ok, just to get one thing straight…this has nothing to do with my TF3 Battle for the freedom fiction, this is something completely different :P
Hummergrey's fiction 'If an Autobot do NOT do the following' and Tenshi of light21's 'Autobot pranks' inspired me in some way, thanks Hummergrey and Tenshi *hug*.
In this, pretty much all pairings will be cannon and no slash, sorry xD. It will also have a large mixture of characters, although Bumblebee, Optimus and Sam will have more of the spotlight. This fiction will mostly contain one-shots but a few will have more than one chapters :D
"Transformers" - Normal speech
'Transformers' - Radio (mostly Bee)
Transformers - Thoughts
::Transformers:: - Com-link
'Transformers' - Cybertronian
When the 'Cons are away…the 'Bots will play.
"Shhh…we must be as quiet an' quick as ninja's." Whispered the jungle green Chevy twin.
"I know fool…ya big aft is blockin' my optical view." Hissed the poppy red twin.
Both slang-using mech's were crawling upon the hangar floor, more specifically Ironhide's personal recharge room, sneaking up to the titanic black mech's berth. Which the said mech was in the middle of a deep recharge.
"Dis is gonna be so bangin' Mudflap, I can't wait ta see his faceplates" Skids said, his blue optics bright with mischief.
"Duh…Skids. Now where youse want me ta put dat sticker?" Mudflap replied to his twins comment.
Skids sniggered. Oh he knew where to put the sticker. He also knew when the trigger happy 'Bot found out - they were gonna have smoking holes in their afts…but it would be worth it.
The mentioned sticker had a bright yellow background with 'Wide-Load' in the centre, written in bold black lettering. On his aft it would stick out like a sore thumb…Skids smirked. He could actually picture it in his processor.
"Quick 'Flap before he wakes up…or we're so owned." Skids nudged his red twin before moving out of the way. His joints creaked slightly in protest.
"Yo Skids bro…youse gotta get sum oil."
"Frag-off aft-kisser" Came the growled reply.
Mudflap crept up to the berth of Ironhide, sticker in his hand and stood up next to the recharging mech.
"Where ya want it ta go?"
Sniggering Skids replyed "On his fat aft"
"Haha dats grea- you mean I actually touch his aft?!?" Mudflap blurted out a bit too loud.
Ironhide rolled over murmuring something about polishing his twin cannons.
Both younger mech's sighed in relief - cycling their vents as a cybertronian equivalent to a sigh.
Can't believe I am gonna do this…Mudflap groaned peeling the sticker off and bending towards the Topkick mech's aft.
"On his left plate" He heard Skids whisper from somewhere behind him.
"Why I gotta do dis?"
"Cause youse a sucker"
"I hope his aft vents don't start ta cool demselves…" Mudflap said with a grimace, his blue optics dimming slightly.
The grass green mech had to hold his servo over his face. He was laughing so hard he was shuddering, optical fluid filling in his amused optics.
Mudflap just glared.
He went lower towards the gruff-cannon-totting-trigger-happy-force-to-be-reckoned-with and stuck the sticker neatly on his left aft-plate.
He held his right servo away from him, he felt betrayed by it.
"Lets get da hell outta ere" Skids breathed ,wiping fluid out of his optics.
Both Chevy twins quickly crawled out of Ironhide's room and towards the main hangar where the other Autobots were.
A few hours later…
The Autobots and a few humans were all in the hangar conversing with one another. Skids and Mudflap amongst them.
Ironhide came out of his room towards the busy 'Bot hanger in need of a cube of energon. He mumbled a greeting which was replied to. Upon noticing the black mech both red and green twins began to snigger. No one knew what they were laughing at until Ironhide turned around.
At this point every mech, femme and human were laughing at the rather bright sticker located on the jet black 'Bot's aft.
'I see you baby…shake that ass' began to pour from Bumblebee's speakers. The youngest mech was leaning upon a metal wall shaking with silent laughter, optical fluid flowing down his face-plates.
Hearing that song began to make everyone laugh harder - even Optimus and Ratchet were chuckling.
Ironhide turned round, annoyed with the laughter. He was still groggy.
"What you all giggling like femmes at?" Blue optics narrowed.
"Your aft is looking bright today Ironhide" Mikaela giggled ,leaning against a laughing Sam, who snorted before falling onto the floor laughing harder. Mikaela fell on top of Sam. Both teens were laughing so hard they couldn't breathe.
"What the frags wrong with you all?!" The gruff mech demanded, glaring at the chuckling crew.
"Your right about your aft 'Hide" Grinned Sideswipe.
"Wha…" The black mech reached down to his aft and felt something there. He peeled it off and began to read. 'Wide load'. He crunched the bumper-sticker up into a ball and let it drop to the floor.
His optics narrowed, red flecking into blue. His cannons roared and cracked to life. The room fell silent, even 'Bee had quickly switched his radio off.
Out the corner of his optics, Ironhide could see two retreating forms of a red Chevrolet Trax and a green Chevrolet Beat. Their laughing echoing off the walls.
"SKIDS!!!….MUDFLAP!!!…You pit fragging little glitches, wait till I get my cannons on you!. I am going to blow you new aft-holes!!!!" Boomed the GMC alt-formed 'Bot.
He stormed towards the silent group. Bumblebee squeaked in fear of getting his aft blown to bits and leapt out of his mentors warpath, scooping up his charges. Everyone moved right out of the way of the rampaging mech and watched as he began to blast plasma out of his prized cannons, aiming for the retreating twins.
After they began to get too far from his optical view, the old weapons specialist also transformed. His engines were snarling as he shot off towards Mudflap and Skids. Black smoke bellowing from his two funnels.
The humans and 'Bots were left in silence looking at each other, wondering weather to laugh or not.
I don't know about you lot but that made my day" The Corvette Stingray mech said, his face-plates twisting into a smile and he crossed his silver armoured arms.
A/N: Well that's the first chapter ^^, I dunno if its ok or not, but I hope you like it, lol
If anyone has any ideas for a chapter don't hesitate to send me a PM or a review and I can feature your ideas :P.
This idea popped into my head when I was looking at funny car bumper stickers…I wanted to get one for my new car xD