This is sort of an experiment in that there is no dialogue. It is an AU, you can pick and choose what happened. Though there a few certainties that I can tell you right off the bat, Albus and Sirius are both still dead, Harry defeated Voldemort with help from Snape, who is still alive, in a male pairing only a true mate can get the other pregnant, and um... that's all I can think of... Oh and this isn't a song fic. I just couldn't think of a title for it...

Happy Reading!

Keep Holding On

Harry shuddered his release into the pillow under his hips as Severus thrust his completion into his tight channel. Severus collapsed onto Harry's back breathing heavily. After a minute Severus rolled onto his back and Harry muttered a cleaning charm for the sheet under him. He pulled out the pillow and moved to curl up next to Severus but Severus was already getting up. Without looking at Harry he tossed his clothes on haphazardly and headed for the door. Harry watched him go as he headed to the door. When Severus was gone Harry rolled over, punched his pillow into submission and tried to get some sleep.

He didn't notice or hear Severus come back, the older man stood in the doorway and watched Harry for a few minutes before he stormed away.

Harry avoided Severus for the next few days, not that it was hard as Severus didn't actively search for Harry.

Harry felt dirty, as he always did after he was with Severus. The man never talked when they were together and he only seemed to use Harry for sex.

Harry knew he should stop it but he couldn't. He had decided a long time ago that he would take Severus however he could get him. So if that meant only going to Severus when the man wanted him, so be it


One night as Harry was making his way to his chambers he was pulled into an alcove. Severus then whisked Harry off to his, Harry's, chambers, because Harry never was allowed in Severus' rooms.

They barely made it to Harry's rooms and never made it to the bedroom. It was fast and rough, with minimal preparation, just like Severus liked it.

Severus fell asleep soon after still buried in Harry.

When Harry woke he was alone and cold. No blanket, no fire.

He didn't know what was worse, Severus leaving immediately after sex or waking up cold and alone.

Stupid bastard.

On the weekend, Draco, Remus, Harry and several others were going out for dinner, they had all invited Severus but he had declined stating that he had better things to do than spend time with a load of drunken Neanderthals. Draco and Remus had told him he could go fuck himself. Severus had ignored them and retreated to his lab.

A few days later, Draco found Harry in an alcove sobbing. There was a knife sitting on the floor in front of him.

Draco managed to convince Harry to tell him what happened. When Harry finished he didn't know who he wanted to kill more his father or his godfather.

Harry had had too much to drink. And he was bound and bent to seduce Severus. He giggled to himself as he headed to the dungeons. It was late so everyone was in bed but he heard voices in one of the labs.

Curiosity got the better of him and he went to investigate.

He had no idea how long he stood in the doorway but it seemed like forever before either Lucius or Severus noticed him in the doorway. To Lucius credit he seemed repentant that he had been doing that with Severus but Severus looked put out that he hadn't been able to finish.

Harry had stormed off and Lucius had gathered his clothes as he glared at Severus who was trying to get him back over the desk. The blonde stormed out leaving a rock hard, frustrated potions master alone.

Draco stormed into his father's office absolutely livid.

He punched his father before either of them spoke. Then Lucius apologized and told Draco that Severus had told him that Harry had left him.

Draco snorted and told him that Harry would never leave Severus because he loved the bastard too much.

Lucius had stared at Draco for a full three minutes before he was flooing from the manor.

He had to apologize to Harry and beat some sense into his so called brother.

Lucius found the Charms professor sitting by the lake.

Harry looked terrible. His eyes were sunken and his skin was whiter then Severus'.

He sat next to the young man and began his apology. Apparently Severus had told the blond that Harry had left him.

If Lucius had known about how Harry felt about Severus he never would have slept with the man, not that there had been much sleeping going on.

Harry stated that he was going to cut off Draco's balls and feed them to the next beast he saw.

After dinner Lucius beat the snot out of Severus.

Later that week, the group that had gone out on the weekend went to a different bar. Harry, and several others, got smashed.

The more Harry drank the more friendly he became. Several men tried to take him home. One man locked him in the bathroom, Remus and Neville had saved him from being raped and beaten.

When Remus had told Severus, the man had sneered and said that the slut probably asked for it.

He arrived at breakfast with a black eye, again.

Severus tried to get to Harry, he knew the young Charms teacher would willing be bed but Harry was hardly anywhere alone anymore.

Severus knew he treated Harry badly. He didn't know how Harry could want to be with him. He was everything the younger man didn't need.

Severus was a bitter, angry old man who had almost twenty years on Harry. Shit he could be the boy's father!

Harry was a vibrant, smart, attractive, loveable beauty who didn't need to burden himself with a man like Severus.

So Severus did everything he could to drive the younger man away but Harry kept coming back, like that damn cat.

Severus took another gulp of whatever liquor he had stashed away.

He needed the younger man badly, he would never admit it because he didn't deserve the man but Harry was his drug and he needed a fix he didn't deserve.

Harry wasn't a breakfast the next morning or lunch but he should up at dinner practically surrounded by bodyguards.

He watched Harry as he played with his food but hardly ate any of it.

Harry wondered if Severus hated him so much that he simply fucked Harry because it would make James roll over in his grave.

Harry swore to himself as he stabbed at the pancakes on his plate.

He had no idea when he had screwed himself so thoroughly by giving his heart to Severus but he had and he hated it.

It must have been somewhere between the Occlumency lessons that had gone on for three years and the training for the final battle that had been rigorous and gruelling but had in the end been worth it.

Harry didn't know whether he wanted to throw his plate and everything on the table at Severus and tell him what a stupid bastard he was being, slam his head against the table until he knocked himself out or just vomit on everyone.

Apparently the vomiting was going to win.

Severus couldn't help but feel concerned as he watched Harry's pale face go green before he bolted for the closest bathroom.

It was Remus that followed the young man out.

Severus didn't miss the number of glares that where directed his way but he ignored them.

Harry woke groggy and disoriented but he quickly managed to recognize Remus and Draco's spare room, the one he had been staying in since he had stopped seeing Severus.

He wondered why he felt like shit before he suddenly had to revisit the meagre contents of his stomach.

As he leaned over the porcelain bowl it all came rushing back to him.

Severus was a fucking bastard and as much as he loved the potion master he hated him.

He had no idea why he hadn't left yet but he knew he should. Maybe once he started feeling better he'd start looking for new work and a new place. He would finish this school year, there were only three months left and then leave. He sighed as he thought about having THAT conversation with Minerva.

The conversation with Minerva hadn't been easy. They would be sad to see Harry leave but she understood his reasoning. She hoped that he would find the happiness that he deserved.

She knew he wouldn't be totally happy but she hoped he would find someone who would treat him the way he should be treated.

The weekend before school was finished the "gang" went out for one last hurrah.

It was acting as a congratulations party for Remus and Draco who were expecting their first child that Remus was carrying. They were both over the moon and Lucius was excited about his new grandbaby, even though his own partner, Charlie, was carrying their own child.

It was also a going away party for Harry, not that he was going away, away but they had gifts for him too. The only two that noticed that Harry wasn't drinking were Charlie and Remus, and their hearts went out to him, wishing that they could do something for the younger man.

A week after school ended Harry was settled into his new home in a little village outside Dublin. The small community had just as many wizards as muggles and they all welcomed him warmly.

One afternoon as he was shopping he met a handsome young man named Adam.

No one, either his friends or his neighbours, saw him for almost three months.

Severus was woken rather abruptly as his alarms went off in the middle of the night near the end of September.

He had no idea what to make of the bloodied heap on his floor.

Suddenly swearing violently he began to call for Poppy through the floo.

The matron came to the floo, her hair still in curlers, still in a night dress.

Poppy gave a quick flick of her wand to dust herself off and immediately began to work, they both suddenly gasped as they recognized Harry.

Severus helped Poppy get the bloody mess back to the infirmary.

As soon as he could Severus all but ran back to his rooms.

Charlie, who had given birth the day before was woken by the commotion and Lucius went to get Remus and Draco.

While Severus drank himself stupid, Remus and Charlie watched frantic with worry as Lucius and Draco helped Poppy heal Harry.

Harry was out for almost a month. The others alternated staying with him.

Severus didn't know how to react to the news that Harry was pregnant. Seven months. He was going to be a father. He had a soul mate. He needed a drink.

Severus tried for the first week to stay away but he couldn't and at night when Harry's night guard was asleep he would sit and talk with Harry.

Remus had been sitting with Harry when he had been woken up by the scraping of a chair.

He sat, pretending to sleep, as he listened to Severus talk to Harry.

Remus smiled as Severus spilled his heart to Harry.

The next morning Remus confronted Severus and, much to Remus' shock, Severus broke down and confessed everything to Remus. Remus, who was still angry at the potion master for how he had treated Harry for the last 12 odd years but he knew that ultimately it was up to Harry if Severus was forgiven.

Severus, who had been included into the "Harry Watch", was the one sitting next to Harry's bed when he twitched.

He gently coaxed Harry back to consciousness.

Poppy was suddenly bustling in as she checked him over. She explained that it was his magic that had fought to keep both Harry and the baby alive. When she was satisfied that Harry was going to be fine she left the two men together.

Harry gave Severus a sleepy smile before he nodded off.

Severus didn't know what to feel.

Early the next morning Draco supported Remus as the pair entered the infirmary.

Lucius and Charlie appeared soon after and the five men sat patiently beside Harry, it was a Sunday so no one had any classes to teach though only Severus and Draco were teaching at the moment, none of them wanted to be anywhere else.

Harry woke a few hours later, he watched the men around him and smiled at Remus who was leaning back in his chair rubbing his belly which was bigger than Harry's, which given that the man was having twins, was no surprise.

Remus greeted his cub with hugs and tender touches. Draco and Lucius did the same and Charlie, who was feeding his son, gave Harry's leg a gentle squeeze.

Severus went to excuse himself, making up an excuse of just wanting to make sure that Harry was okay. Harry stopped him and asked for time alone. The other four men nodded and Draco pulled Remus to his feet and Lucius wrapped an arm around Charlie as they headed to not eavesdrop on the conversation.

Harry was silent for a long time, he caressed his swollen abdomen as he watched Severus.

Severus blurted an apology, and that seemed to open up the floodgates for Severus. He confessed everything he had done and everything he was feeling and admitted he had been a fool for what he had done. He pleaded for a chance to make it right, to prove to Harry that he, Severus, was worthy of the gift that Harry was bestowing upon him.

Harry smirked and told Severus to start again, court him, make him want Severus.

Severus commended Harry for such a Slytherin tactic and swore that he would do everything in his power to prove that he wouldn't squander Harry's gift ever again.

Later that afternoon, Remus went into labour. He gave birth to identical twin boys.

Harry couldn't wait to meet his baby; he didn't want to find out the sex, wanting it to be a surprise.

Almost 5 weeks later, three weeks earlier than they thought, Harry gave birth to a baby boy. Severus had supported him through the entire thing. Just like Severus had doted on his pregnant lover for all of those five weeks.

They had named him Mackenzie Gareth, well Severus did because Harry hadn't been able to decide.

It had been almost two months since Harry and Severus had reunited, though they were still only "dating", Severus had moved into Harry's chambers, in a separate room of course, to be closer to both his son and Harry.

One night as Severus was reading on the couch in the living room Harry appeared in the doorway. He was still having nightmares about not only the war, though they were far less often, but of what he had been through at the hands of Adam. That afternoon he had been sent to Azkaban for assault and attempted murder, they would never see him again.

Severus, who was sitting on the couch length wise with one leg on the couch the other on the table in a very un-Severus pose, beckoned Harry to the couch.

Harry settled on Severus as the potion master gently rubbed his back. He began to softly read the novel out loud to Harry who eventually fell asleep, curled up like a cat on Severus.

The next morning Severus woke with a bent neck, sore back and covered in drool.

The kiss that Harry bestowed on him after he gave a cat like stretched was enough to make Severus want to sleep the way they had for the rest of life.

It was slow going but he would soon be able to claim as his again, with no shadows, no one sneaking around alcoves, no broken hearts.

Severus couldn't wait.

Since I know you're dying of curiosity the twins born to Remus and Draco are named Mason (stone-worker) Castor (one of the Gemini twins) and Spencer (supplies dispenser) Pollux (other twin), the meanings of the first names don't really come from anywhere I just liked them!

Charlie and Lucius' baby boy is named Aidan (little fiery one) Lukas (light) for both his dads.

Severus picked his sons name because they reflect what he sees in Harry, Mackenzie means fair one's son and Gareth means gentle.

Please be kind with your reviews, I wrote this in one night, I would love to hear what you think. And don't forget to vote in my highly scientific poll!