an experiment in F*cking Wonky.

also: this baby's chock full o' movie/media references. some are less obvious than others. feel free to tease 'em out, if you'd like.

enjoy, lovelies.

(events of this drivel occur in the final moments of the last ep, in case that isn't clear)


[country of the blind]

This is a (strangelove) story about a girl and a boy and their twenty-thousand roaring Johnnies. (This is when they all learn to stop worrying and love the bombs, where the boy loses his crown and becomes a king.)

This isn't fun, it's Serious Business (fiery the angels fell; deep thunder rolled around their shoulders); he's gonna dodge bullets, cock back the hammer of his tiny, mighty fist and smash a meteor (or twelve) clear outta the park; he's gonna Save the Day, Win the Girl, and then –why not?—he thinks he might try Ruling the World.

(The simple fact of the matter is that this country's gotten Too Weird, and he's the Someone who has to step in and do something about it.)

A (half-remembered) film reel of ghosts made flesh, this NEET little kingdom of dark-tanned, angry, naked boys, good-bad-and-ugly all, grasping and terrified and desperate for salvation.

The king's mouth wedges, wide mischief stretching from one ear to clear across the universe, and here's how it happens: he delivers them unto Eden, and they whip out one helluva miracle, which is no less than his monstrous faith reckons; he builds a castle on a carousel and Wyatt Earp's the bejeezus out of their would-be Armageddon.

'Bang!' Right outta the sky, Butch Cassidy, lady and Johnnies, never misses, fastest draw in the East. (Boys, he's got vision, and the rest of the world wears bifocals.)

They topple his fortress (the brigand-fiends!), but he Wins the Day, Saves the Girl (the Bonnie to his roguish Clyde, and one classy dame), only one thing left now—

'Here's lookin' at you, kid,' he says, sober-serious and sexy-suave, and she leans in to plant one on him around the same time the sky rips open with twenty-thousand jubilant-furious voices, but he's already pulled his checker across that final forward-sideways square, and—

'King me, Juiz.


[THIS IS THE BELATED DISCLAIMER. BEHOLD ITS MYRIAD DECLAMATIONS!]