Hey everyone, my deepest apologies for how long this took, but I had a lot of problems over the summer, plus school started recently, so this had to take a second wheel to everything else. Again, sorry, but please enjoy :)
"Where do you think our sub is?" Kurumu asked, looking at the front of the room with interest. Slowly, everyone began quieting down as the sound of wood on linoleum reached their ears. When the sound reached its peak, the door slid open revealing...
"Oh, Kami, why?" Ichigo complained.
"What's he doing here?" Renji wondered aloud.
"You guys know him?" Tsukune asked, looking at the two much stronger boys.
"Yeah." Ichigo answered. "He's..."
"Greetings class!" the man jovially called. "I'm your new science teacher... Urahara Kisuke!"
Needless to say, Kisuke's jovial attitude perturbed many a youkai within the classroom. "Ummm... Right." the hat-wearing man continued. "Anyway, from what I've been told, you all have been going over the anatomy of human bodies to better understand them, correct?" Everyone in the class nodded, save for Ichigo and Renji, who still were dumbfounded by what was happening. "Well, totally forget everything you've learned!"
"Huh?" the entire class, again save for Ichigo and Renji, exclaimed in unison.
"That's right!" Kisuke cheerfully exclaimed. "Because if you truly want to know how the human body looks and functions, you're going to have to learn from someone who understands the human body perfectly."
"Excuse me, Urahara-sensei!" Yukari exclaimed, standing up slightly.
"Yes, Sendou-san?" Kisuke questioned back, slightly shocking Yukari that he already knew her name.
"I find it very unbelievable that you know perfectly how the human body works." Yukari bluntly stated, Kisuke's only reaction being to pull out his fan, open it, and begin to fan his face. "I mean, that would take years upon years of extensive study to accomplish!"
"And years upon years of extensive study is precisely what I've done!" Kisuke happily stated, quickly snapping his fan shut. "See, as a scientist, I've made it my life's goal to learn as much about the world as possible, starting with one of the most confusing things of all, the human body! And because of my studies, I know the human body so well, I can even make perfect replicas of them."
"But how is that-" Yukari started, but Kisuke cut her off.
"That's classified information.~" Kisuke told her in a sing-song voice, yet again fanning his face. "Though if you'd like some further knowledge, I'm sure Kurosaki-kun and Abarai-kun would be more than willing to help, right you..." He was cut off when both Ichigo and Renji threw their texts books at him in an attempt to shut him up, both books smashing him in the face and knocking him to the ground. "OWWW! My face! I need that for seducing!"
"Who the Hell could you possibly need to seduce?" Ichigo seethed as Kisuke stood up, surprising most of the class with his outburst. Suddenly, a sinister idea came over him. "Unless you're planning to cheat on Yoruichi-san." Kisuke paled and stopped moving when Ichigo said this. "Maybe I should tell her next time I see her..."
"Now, now, that won't be necessary, Kurosaki-kun." Kisuke managed to say, his voice visibly shaking. "I have no plans to do anything of the sort!"
"Oh, I don't know Urahara-sensei." Renji snorted, his voice dripping with sarcasm when he said '-sensei.' "How do we know that you're telling the truth?"
"Welllll, if you don't believe me, I'm always sure you'd believe Kuchiki-taichou." Kisuke replied, his normal sing-song tone returning as Renji paled. "That's what I tho~ought. And also," Kisuke bent down and picked up the textbooks that were thrown at him, and threw them back to their owners, who caught them effortlessly, "please keep better hold of your books."
"Jackass." Ichigo and Renji both grumbled at the same time, causing Kurumu and Mizore to lightly giggle at their odd behavior.
"Now then, let's start with the basics." Kisuke began, taking a piece of chalk and starting to write on the board. "The human body is composed of 35 Liters of water, 20 Kilograms of carbon, 4 Liters of ammonia..."
'This is just our luck.' Ichigo thought, his scowl deepening slightly as he looked at Kisuke, who was still ranting on about the composition of the human body. 'I swear, if he doesn't have a legitimate reason for being here, I'm gonna...'
"Well, Kurosaki-kun?" Kisuke asked, jolting Ichigo out of his thoughts.
"Huh?" Ichigo questioned back, not hearing what Kisuke had asked him.
"Not paying attention, Kurosaki-kun?" Kisuke asked, a false shocked look on his face. "Tsk, tsk, whatever will I tell Isshin-san?"
"Please repeat the question, Urahara-sensei." Ichigo growled out through clenched teeth. "And leave that idiot out of this."
"My, my!" Kisuke gasped. "So testy. But my question was: what is the one part of the human existence that is impossible to physically create?"
"The soul?" Ichigo questioned back, not entirely sure where Kisuke was going with this.
"Ding ding ding!" Kisuke exclaimed, clapping his hands. "The soul is indeed the only part of the human, and any other living thing period, existence that cannot be created. The reason for that is..." Kisuke was cut off by the shrill ring of the bell, signifying that class was over. "Well, times up! We'll just have to finish our discussion tomorrow. Ta ta!" The entirety of the class stood up and shuffled towards the door, many people giving Kisuke odd looks for his random behavior. "Oh, Kurosaki-kun, Abarai-kun?" The aforementioned boys both looked back at him, as did the newspaper club. "Would you two, Hitsugaya-kun Aono-kun, Akashiya-san, Sendou-san, Kurono-san, Shirayuki-san and Shuzen-san all meet me after classes are finished for the day?"
"Sure." Ichigo affirmed, nodding at the much older man before they all vacated the room.
"Soooo, who was that guy?" Kurumu asked Ichigo, falling into step next to him and looking at him with inquiring eyes.
"It'd probably best to wait til after school." Ichigo grumbled in response, evidently still not too pleased with the sudden turn of events. "That way nobody else will hear it." Sure enough, anyone close enough to have heard Kurumu's question was leaning in, expecting an answer. They all backed off, however, when Ichigo glared at them and sharpened his reiatsu the slightest bit. Kurumu pouted slightly from not being told, but didn't audibly voice her displeasure.
'Wait, Kurumu-chan isn't going to complain?' Moka thought, perplexed by her blue-haired friend's change in behavior. "Say, Tsukune?" Moka asked as they neared Ishigami's room for math.
"What is it, Moka-san?" the boy asked as they entered the room and walked to their seats.
"Is it just me, or has Kurumu-chan changed slightly since Ichigo and Renji transferred in?" the pinkette whispered close to his ear, as to make sure the aforementioned succubus didn't hear, which she, thankfully, didn't.
"Huh?" Tsukune asked, not catching on to what Moka was implying. "What do you mean?"
"Never mind." Moka replied, shaking her head lightly. "It's nothing." After Moka said this, the bell rang and class began.
"Yahhh, finally!" Kurumu exclaimed as the last bell of the day rang. "Today dragged on forever."
"I'm sure it's just your imagination, you cow." Yukari chided before being pummeled on the top of the head by the bluenette. "Owie!"
"Heh, heh." Tsukune nervously chuckled. "Now, now, Kurumu-chan, Yukari-chan, it's not the time to fight. Besides, shouldn't we go get Toshirou and Kokoa-chan so we can go talk to Urahara-sensei?"
"No need." Ichigo interjected. "Knowing Toshirou, he's probably already felt Urahara-san's reiatsu and he's already on his way." As if to prove his point, both Ichigo and Renji searched for Toshirou and Kokoa's reiatsu, and indeed felt them headed for Kisuke's room.
"Hey, Ichigo." Renji whispered as he caught into Ichigo's stride. The aforementioned strawberry glanced over at the red-headed pineapple with a look that said 'what?' "Why do you think Urahara-san is here?"
"Honestly?" Ichigo questioned back. "It probably has something to do with what happened yesterday."
"Hmmm." Renji mumbled. "You're probably right. Though I don't see why Yamamoto-sou-taichou would send him instead of someone like Ukitake-taichou or better yet, Komamura-taichou."
"Probably because there's already one taichou and fuku-taichou here." Ichigo reasoned as they turned down the hall to Kisuke's room. "He probably didn't want to weaken the Seireitei's defenses anymore, just in case."
"Oi, Abarai, Kurosaki!" Toshirou called out as he and Kokoa rounded the corner at the opposite end of the hall. "Why on earth is Urahara here?"
"We're just as clueless as you, Toshirou." Ichigo answered as they all gathered outside Kisuke's door. "so we may as well find out." With that, Ichigo opened the door.
"Ah, hello there everyone!" Kisuke happily called from his place by the window. "I trust you all had a wonderful day at school?"
"Cut the crap, Urahara, and tell us why you're here." Toshirou icily stated, already fed up with Kisuke's shenanigans.
"You're so cruel, Hitsugaya-taichou!" Kisuke called out, a mock look of hurt on his face. But then, much to the surprise of the newspaper club and Kokoa, his face suddenly adopted a much more serious look. "But in all reality, the reason we were called here is because of what happened yesterday."
"'We?'" Renji questioned, not bothering to try and sense who Kisuke was talking about. "Who's 'we?'" Ichigo and Toshirou, however, felt the reiatsu of the person in question rapidly approaching their location."
"Come on Renji, are yo really that stupid?" Her voice taunted from outside the window. "I mean, who else would be sent anywhere with Kisuke?"
"Hey, Yoruichi-san." Ichigo called as a dark-skinned woman with deep purple hair and shocking yellow eyes jumped in through the window behind Kisuke.
'This woman is the Yoruichi-san Ichigo mentioned earlier?' Moka thought in awe, looking a Yoruichi.
"You're looking well, Ichigo." Yoruichi statred. Taking in his reiatsu. "I see you've managed to get some of your reiatsu back already."
"Whaaa?" Kurumu sputtered. "You mean that isn't his full strength?"
"Nope!" Kisuke replied in his sing-song voice, while Ichigo merely shrugged, not wanting to flaunt his strength. "See, Kurosaki-kun here lost all of his reiatsu not too long ago when he defeated a traitor to the Seireitei. However, with my genius help, along with my once pupil Mayuri-san, we were able to restore some of his reiatsu, and it's slowly began returning. I'd say 42% of his full reiatsu has returned."
"Huh, I thought it was more than that..." Ichigo mused to himself, while the newspaper club plus Kokoa were looking at him in shock. That amount of power was only 42%? If so, what would he be like at full strength?
Anyway," Kisuke began, his face adopting the serious look again, "let's get down to business. Now, the reason we're here is because of the Hollow invasion yesterday. I've spoken to the headmaster, and not once in the history of Youkai Academy has a hollow ever penetrated the barrier. Now, for so many to penetrate at once is an odd occurrence, but it's actually due to the disturbance in the school's own energy caused by the arrival of you three." He pointed to Ichigo, Renji, and Toshirou. "Now, there's actually two reasons we're here. Reason number one is that five shinigami are better than three, especially with Yoruichi-san here." He pulled out his fan and sent her a quick, flirtatious smile from behind it, which she discretely reciprocated. "Secondly is, given the nature of Youkai Academy as a school, and the situation may arise where you three go on a trip, we're here to make sure no Hollows get anywhere near the school or the students. Any questions?"
"Yes." Moka politely stated. "Umm, who exactly are you two?"
"Well, I'm Urahara Kisuke, you science teacher, and manager of a little shop known as Urahara Shoten." Kisuke answered, smiling widely, causing many disbelieving and annoyed looks. "And, I'm also the ex-captain of the 12th Division of the Gotei 13, as well as first head and founder of the Shinigami Research and Development division."
"Name's Shihouin Yoruichi." Yoruichi stated. "Ex-head of the 2nd Division, and ex-head of the Onmitsukiou."
"That still doesn't explain why you're a teacher, Urahara." Toshirou icily said, dropping the temperature a bit, causing Kisuke to giggle slightly.
"Well, I thought it'd be fun!" Kisuke gleefully stated, causing Toshirou to growl in frustration. "Plus, it diverts suspicion as to why a random, albeit extremely attractive, man is wandering aimlessly around campus. Plus, it allows me to learn about Youkai! In all my years, even I would've never thought Youkai existed! And, unlike Mayuri-san, I won't..."
Kisuke was cut off by a loud, angry voice yelling: "IT'S ABOUT DAMN TIME I FOUND ALL OF YOU!" The door violently opened, and in walked in a boy with shaggy brown hair, brown eyes, a bandanna and a silver wolf necklace, looking absolutely livid. He rounded on Tsukune and grabbed his collar, deeming him the only one fit of receiving his wrath. "I WAS SITTING IN THE CLUB ROOM, AND NONE OF YOU DECIDE TO SHOW UP TODAY, WHAT THE HELL?"
"G-G-Gin-sempai, c-calm down, it isn't my fault." Tsukune stuttered, scared out of his mind.
"He's right, Morioka-kun." Kisuke said, bringing his cane up under Gin's arm, and nudging it upwards, signaling him to release Tsukune's collar, which he begrudgingly did. "I requested that they all come to my room after classes were over for the day. My apologies for keeping them from their duties."
"Oh, it's quite all right, then Urahara-sensei." Gin said, his demeanor changing instantly. "Allow me to apologize for barging in here without warning."
"Oh, that's all well and good, Morioka-kun, but our little meeting is over, so you're free to take your members now." Kisuke jovially said.
"Thank you." Gin said, bowing to Kisuke. He then turned to his club members, and Kokoa. "Let's go, the newspaper isn't going to write itself!" He then situated himself in front of the group, and began pushing them out of the room. "Come on, march!"
"Wait a second, I'm not even part of this club!" Kokoa shouted as she and the newspaper club were uncomfortably shoved through the door.
"You are now!" Gin countered as he managed to force them all out of the room. "So get moving!"
"Well, now that they're gone, we can move to the most serious matter of all..." Kisuke cryptically said, causing Ichigo, Renji, and Toshirou to look at him seriously. "Why'd you cut your har, Kurosaki-kun? It looked so cool long!"
"And, I'm gone." Ichigo grumbled as he left the room.
"You really are an idiot, Urahara." Toshirou blankly said before also exiting the room.
"Ichigo had long hair?" Renji dumbly asked, being the only one not to leave. "When?"
"Let me tell you all about it, Abarai-kun." Kisuke joyfully exclaimed as he slung his arm over Renji's shoulders, as Yoruichi let out an amused, yet aggravated, sigh.
"He's such an idiot." Ichigo complained as he and Toshirou walked out of the school.
"You're just now figuring this out?" Toshirou sarcastically questioned, earning a slight glare from Ichigo.
"No, I've known this for a long time." Ichigo answered, before realizing something. "Wait, if he's here... What the Hell's going to happen with Kon?"
Meanwhile in Karakura...
"YES!" Kon happily yelled as he skipped through town, earning many stares. "Now that Urahara's gone, I can do whatever I want! Ladies, here I com-OOOF!" He was swiftly met with a foot to the face.
"Kon, you idiot!" Tatsuki reprimanded. "If you think you're getting anywhere NEAR any women while I'm around, you've got another thing coming!"
"Awwww." Kon huffed, very aggravated. "I never get to have any fun!"
Injury report: Injuries- 2 Fatalities- none. Kaizou Konpaku kicked in the face by Japan's number two high school girl in karate- 1.
Well, there's chapter six! I hope it was worth the wait! Even though it probably wasn't :P