Author's Note: I watched Ally McBeal back when I was ten and never made the connection till now. It was something I couldn't resist doing.
The episode ended with sad music playing. Ally turned the TV off robotically with the look of sheer horror on her face. Billy was wearing a similar look of horror and Kyra was laughing hysterically.
"No way" Ally said shaking her head, finally finding her voice. "There's no way I'm going to end up like that"
Kyra had now fallen off of her bed in her hysterical laughing fit. She was still giggling as she sat up; her perfect ponytail slightly messed up. "Oh I don't know Al" Kyra said in a teasing voice. "I could quite see you humiliating yourself over and over and over with various boyfriends"
"That's not what I meant Kyra" Ally huffed as she crossed her arms. "I meant there's no way me and Billy are going to end up like that. Since we never began like that in the first place! I never sniffed his bum, we were never each other's first kiss and I doubt Billy could get into university let alone a high one for law"
"Hey!" Billy protested finally finding his voice.
"Nah she's right" Kyra said yawning. "You are an idiot"
"Oh thank you" Billy replied sarcastically.
"You're welcome" Kyra said ignoring the sarcasm. "But Ally, don't you think it's so romantic that even after Billy marries some blonde bimbo who acts incredibly bitchy and insecure at times and will cheat on Billy with your father-"
"My dad would rather cut his heart out than cheat on my mother" Ally said flatly.
"- he'll still old a burning candle of passion and love all for you. Will always imagine a life, children, grandchildren and lots of hot sex and make out scenes with you. Despite the stupidity of the dumbo in the baseball cap over there, I think it's romantic" Kyra continued as if Ally never spoken.
"Well I don't!" Ally huffed, flinging a crisp that been dropped earlier at Kyra who much to Ally's annoyance dodged it. "Because in the end, it never works out, he dies with a brain tumour and I lie to the wife that his last thought on earth was about her and not me"
"Ally and Billy the best TV couple known to man" Kyra sang gleefully. "Ally is a lonely nutter while Billy is a dead dork"
Ally sighed. "I'm going home Kyra" she said loudly. Kyra ignored her as she continued her made up song with an added dance routine which Billy watched with a mix of amusement and horror. "Come on Billy, let's go and leave Kyra with her DVDS" Ally said dragging Billy across the floor by his collar.
"Ow, Ally, I'm getting up, I'm getting up! Let go of me!" Billy whined.
Ally smiled blissfully, they had spent the whole day from early morning to late evening watching all three series of this show that Kyra insisted they had to watch. Eating breakfast, lunch, snacks and dinner in Kyra's room thanks to the local takeouts that delivered nearby. Also thank you EMA and rich parents who give Kyra and Billy far too much pocket money or they would have gone hungry for the day or suffer Kyra's cooking...
The evening was cool with a light breeze brushing against Ally's skin. She walked along the road down to her house in silence, mostly because Billy had a look of a constipated cow which means he was thinking about something really hard with loads of concentration which was saying something about Billy who never thinks. At all. Once they got to the front door of Ally's slightly wonky, very messy old Victorian house with a strange supposed to be dream catcher but looks more like a cobweb on purple circle with a blob on.
"Watcha thinking about?" Ally asked poking him hard.
"Ow! That hurts!" Billy whined rubbing his arm.
"Well apparently so does thinking by looking at the agony written on your face" Ally said coolly. "So go on, what were you thinking about?"
"What if Kyra is right? And we do-"
"Stop right there" Ally said holding a hand up. "For the last time Billy. We. Are. Not. Going. To. End. Up. Like. That. TV. Show"
"But they have our names! Ally and Billy! Ally has a bob! Billy had dark hair! Ally has daydreams just like you!"
Ally rolled her eyes. "My hair is brown not mousy blonde. You will rather die a painful tortured death than wear boring suits and never skateboard. I daydream, yes that's true, but I can assure you I never once fantasised about an evil baby or being thrown in a dumpster or someone suddenly appearing in their underwear and all of that nonsense. And Billy because you have no brain, it's easy for me to assure you that you won't get a tumour"
Billy scowled. "But we got together at a young age"
"I know but strangely enough it wasn't thirteen. We weren't even each other's first kisses" Ally said rolling her eyes once more. "Look moron. If we break up when we're older, we break up, you're my best friend and we been round each other since preschool. We'll stay in contact and we'll actually invite each other to our weddings. But until then, we're us and that TV show is still a flipping TV show"
Billy smiled his usual goofy smile and Ally grinned back. She then went up on her tip toes and pressed her lips on his briefly. "Good night Doofus, I'll see you tomorrow for the usual dog walking. Try to not walk into lampposts"
"And you try not to trip over anything" Billy shot back as he began walking backwards down the path.
"Impossible considering what a state my house is" Ally shouted back. "And mind that....ye-ouch, too late"
"I'm ok!" Billy said from the other side of the gate. He not only walked into it but flipped over to the other side.
Ally grinned as she entered the house. "I'm home" she shouted as the many dogs barked and ran to her.
"Hello Ally-Pally" Ally's dad said coming in from the living room. "How was your day?"
"All right" Ally shrugged. "But I'm not letting Billy watch Ally McBeal ever again"