chapter one

Dally was riding the Hogwarts Express to Hogwarts with her best friend Edwart Cullen. She had just found out she was a witch and a vampire with Edward and now they were going to school to train to be better.

"Edward do you miss Bella?" I asked

"Grr I don't want to talk about Bella" Edward said

"Oh are you guys fighting?" I asked.

"She is just being a cunt!!" he yelled "She thinks I like you… um I mean…"

"Why would she say that?" Dally asked.

"Um well uh"

KNOCK KNOCK!!! Suddenly there was a sound at the door of the trolly

"I am going around with candy would you like to buy someone?" came the voice from the door.

"YES COME IN" yelled Edward, he wanted a distraction.

The door slid open and in came a boy with big spiky black hair and black clothes and he had his arm wrapped up.

"My name is Hiei" he said, "I am selling these candies to pay for my trip to Hogwarts…" he showed them the tray and there were Burties Botts and Candy Frogs with cards on them.

Edward noticed that Dally was staring at Hiei and growled "We aren't interested go away."

"Oh okay" Hiei said "WAIT"

"I am would like to buy some Buties Botts!" said Dally enthusiastically and smiling. She reached for some and touched hands with Hiei… Edwad grred.

"Oh um well… that will be… okay well it is free for you!" Hiei said he was flustered because he touched hands with Dally. He thought she was very cute.

"THANK YOU!" said Dally.

Hiei left and Dally began to ate the beans.

"So do you like that guy?" Edward asked.

"Of course, he gave me free food! He is very nice" Dally said happy.

Suddenly they arrived at Hogwarts and uncame from the train.

They were greeted by a big wizard with a long white bear and a pointy hat and he said, "Come students, follow me to the great hall and we will eat and get you sorted!"

Dally and Edward got into a boat and went into the Great Hall with Dumbeldore. They sat down at a table coincidentally right next to there friend from the ship Hiei! Dally was also sitting next to a black and red hedgehog.

"My name is Shadow" said the hedgehog.

Edward began to grr again. "Why are you all talking to Dally he said?

"Calm down…" said Dally "He is my best friend, he gets a little territorial sometimes."

"Oh okay" said Shadow.

"Aight!" said Dumbledore "I will now sort you into the hat"

One by on each of the students (and hedgemice because there are some sonic characters) came up to the sorting hat. It told poems for the houses: there is Gryffindor, Huffelpuff, Ravenclaw and Slytherin.

"Edward Cullen….." said the hat, "SLYTHERING!"

Edward put on a silver and green scarf and sat down a table at the end. He winked at Delly as if to say "Come to my house"

"Shadow…. SLYTHERIN!"

Shadow put on a silver and green scarf and sat down next to Edward. "Gee I hope she gets Slytherin" thought Shadow.

"Hiei….. SLYTHERIN!"

Hiei put on a silver and green scarf and sat down next to Shadow and Edward. He could not stop grazing at Dally…

Now it was Dally's turn. "DALLY" called the hat. She was beckoned and so went up. The boys did a drumroll with their feet.


Dally's face fell off.. she could not believe it! The boys looked so disappointed. She sadly put on he black and blue scarf and sat at a table with a group of strangers…

Lucky she found her friends Charla, Annie and Meagan at her table! "Hey guys I didn't know you were witches!"

"Yes we are we just found out this summer" said Meagan. "I cant believe we are in the same house!"

So there was good news after all. They began to head back to there home rooms when Hiei stopped Dally in the hall.

"Listen Dally I want to tell you something" said Hiei "I like you."

"I like you too Hieie" she said softly.

Then he kissed her and their lips met, like fire.

"Ok ok that's enough" said a voice. It was Proffessor Umbrudge the defense against dark arts teacher, "Go to your rooms"

"I'll see you tomorrow" said Hiei and kissed her again

"I SAID ENOUGH GOD DAMMIT" shouted the Proffessor

"Bye!" said Dally

They left and from the darkness two eyes watched. IT was Edward he was mad…

chapter two

Dally sat in the common room or Ravenpaw sketching a picture of Hiei and thinking of his kiss. Suddenly se looks up at the fire in front of her and a face appeared!! The fire turned blue like water but it was fire and the eyes wee yellow.

"hello" said the fire

"Mom?" asked Dally

Jut then Mystique came out of the fire she was naked but she didn't have nipples.

"now that you are a wizad I can give you my powers" said mystique. She handed me an orb and suddenly the room turned colors

"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH" screamed Della. She was in a lot of pain and sufferage.

Then mystique disappeared leaving dally with a belt with an X on it. She was now a mutant.

Dally could feel a new rush hour of power in her organs. She tried it out and turned into a bat! "Well I could already do that cuz I'm a vampire lol" she thought to herself, so ten she tried it out again and turned into a a demon chaos chao! A little spiky ball was above her head.

"oh my fucking christ" she said, "I can turn into whatever I want with mustiques powers!"

She pulled out her blackberry and txted hiei, "HIEI I AM A CHAO" he came right over.

She turned back tho because it would be creepy if they kissed and he said it was really cool!! He wanted the powers too so he asked the fire "can you give me those powers too?"

"NO!!!" mystique showered, "You are not my dauter and therefor I cannot pass the powers onto you however if you get married you will be my sun so we can do it then"

"You know what this means?" Hiei said, "If we get married I can have the powers"

But suddenly Dally began to think of the other guys in her life. There was Edward… he had Bella but he said something aout liking her on the trolly, and there was shadow, who looked at her like "I like you". She loved Hiai but she liked the others…

"I don't think so I have cold toes" said Dally and she ran away crying

"NO YOU CANT LEAVE ME HERE AT THE ALTAR" shouted Hiei in upset.


And then she disappeared and so did Hiei cuz hes not supposed to be in Ravencalws dorm room lol wtf was he thinking. Dalli wept quietly to herself when all of the sudden a blonde walked out of his class and aprochjed her.

"What's wrong Dally?" he asked.

"Who are you?" I asked.

"Oh my name is Draco Malfoy..." he said "Arf you ok?"

Dally looked into Drake's eyes and saw that he cared, he was ful of compassion like a snake. The boy held out a hand and pulled up dally up. "Do you want me to walk you to your class?" he asked

"I would love that" Dally said battering her ashes. They began to walk down the hallway together when a blast came out before htem. It was Edwart!

"DALLY!" he shouted "What are you doing with all these bois?"

"um edward its relly none of your business now let us go to the great hall" she snipped.

"IT IS DANGEROSU" he begun to raise his voice

Just then draco pulled out his wand and him and the vampie got into a big fight. But DUmbledumdore came and broke it up

"THAT'S IT" he shouted "You boys will cum have a talk with me in my office" and they left.

So Dally had to go to the great hall by herself but then shadow came and joined her. "What is a pretty girl like you doing all b yourself in the great depression all alone?" he asked her

"well hiei is being an asshole!!" she said and cryed again. Shadow put his paw on her leg and massajed her caressing "Its okay" he said "Its okay"

Meanwhile hiei was updates punishing walls angerly! "WHY DID I HURT HER???" he aksed himself and then he thaught of a soluble. "I will win her back" he said.

Meanwhile Edward and Draco were upstairs in Dumbeldores house. They were sitting on his bed cuz he said they were out of cars.

"What do you think u punishment should be?" Dubledore asked paseing around he was wearing a black t-shirt and ripped Hollister jeans that showed off his mussles. Edward grred, his sences were tingling… that something was not wrong.

Suddenly dumbeldore put his hands on bot of their legs and said "I can think of something.."
"OMG you faggot!" draco screamed. He tried to run but he couldnot….

chapter three

Shadow and Dally were talking in the Great Hall when all of the sudden a cheetah ran in at warped speed, barreling through chairs and people in a frantic rush of hurry.

"SHADOW! DALLY!!" shouted the cheetah, suddenly it turned back into Charla (she is a anemograph and can turn into a cheetah) "SOMETHING IS GOING UPSTAIRES"

Shadow put them all on his back because he is fastest even faster than the lepoard and they ran upstairs and busted down Dumble's door just in time to see him unzipping his genes.

"NOOO! EDWARD!" Dally shouted… she loved Edward and would never see him get hurt. She ran at Dumbledore and headbutted him. He flew back into the wall and fell into his phenix, and they both exploded into thin air.

"FUCK WE LOST THEM" exclaimed Draco, "We have to get that basterd fired from Hogywarts"

The three of them mated downstairs to Professors Macnoggle's orifice and demanded an interview. She opened the dory to her chamber and said "Come in dearest stunts! What can I ass you in?"

"We need to get a certain pedofile fired from this plays," said Harry, "He tried to rape some students including me"

"Oh no don't worry thought I will have it all took care of," she said and bamfed them out.

A week later a blog was posted aboot it in the bathrooms that said "A teacher has ben fired to improper actinic against a students, this teacher is Professes Umbrige"

"WAT" they all mounted in unicorns, "THEY FIRED THE WRONG TEACHER"

"Wait keep reading" said Shadow, "It said more"

"There is a new teacher to be hired in place of this one and his name is Jack Skeleton".

"Yay!" I said, "Professor Skeleton will know what to do! Let's go to his class and tell him about that faggot Dumbledore."

They whaled over and came into his office. He was very skinny and had a skull for a head and no eyes but teeth on them.

"Hello students, what can I halp you with?" he asserted.

"Dumbledore Is gay!" blarted Edword.

"Well students there is nothing wrong with bean gay," he said, "I am bisexual myself."

"No but he tried to FINGER US" said Draco, he turned blue a little because he was embarrassed. Draco is straight and it's Adam and Steve not Adam and Steve.

"OH FUCK" said Jack. They exclaimed to his the whole story and he said, "Don't worry I will take acres of this. Just go to your rooms and sleep for tonight. Until then incest Dumbledore is not here there are no rules…"

So they left and went to their rooms, except for Dally And Hiei who hung out outside where the dorm rooms started.

"Did you hear what Proffessor Skeleton said?" Hiei asked, "I know that you are mad at me but there are no rules and maybe I can make it up to you."

"How would you do that?" asked Dally.

Just then he pushed her against the Ravenclaw satellite and because to kiss her gastricly. She put her tongue in his mouth and felt his teeth. He cut his tongue on her fangs and the blood tripped down his chin… he was turned on by it and suddenly Dally felt something against her.

"Hiei is that your wand?" she asked.

"No… that is my penis, Dally…" he said.

"OMG you're so huge! You're like 6 inches!!" she shouted, gasping for breath.

"No I am 6 inches flassid, right now I have a bonner so I am 10 inches," he said.

Della was at a lost for words. She was a virgin and did not know about dicks and it was her first time having a penis.

"Let's go to your room," said Hiei, "I want to have sex with you."

So he said the password and they went into Ravenclaw, and went to Dally's bedroom. A couple Ravenclawers were like, "Dally what he is doing here??" but she turned Hiei into a broom with her powers as a mutant so they didn't notice anymore. Then she unturned him back into a Hiei when they got onto her bed. They started kissing and taking their clothes of.

"Do you have a birth control?" asked Dally as he started to put it in.

"No… I didn't think to bring somes." He said frowning but he kept doing it.

"Hiei please I don't want to have a baby… you can get pregnant even from your first time," she said kissing him and moaning as he went faster and faster.

"It will be okay… you can just use your power to turn my cum into water and then it wont be babies," he said as he started to tittyfuck her. Her boobs were huge so they could wrap them around his weiner like bumblebees.

"That sounds like a good idea," she said as he splurted on her neck, then flipped her over and started rubbing himself on her back, "I can also use my powers to turn stuff into kinky sex toys!!!"

So they continued… but just from the first chreptar 1, Edward was watching from the darkness… he had used his vampire powers to turn into a bat and they didn't notice him fly in.

HE was angry… he was tumors… he was so mad at both of them that he used his wizard powers to turn the water back into cum. He would have his revenge!!!

chapter four

Hiei and Delly woke up to the shutter of Hogwarts students cheering and lollygagging. They jumped out of bed and ran into the Great Hall where cowards of people were crowding around a girl.

"What is going on here?" Hiei dementored to know.

"Wait… that's Bella!" said Delly as she peered through the congregation.

Just as Delly said, Bella (Edward's girlfriend) was there and ironaldly she was giving a speech about why teen parentcy is illegal. "Well it's a good think we turned that water into wine!" said Hiei winking at her, and then they took seats in the front.

Edward was sitting nearby and so was Shadow. All the students had to go to this meeting because it was majority for there classes.

In the back of the rom, Proffessor Snaps was watching Bella carefully… he did not get the memo about her coming to give a pubic speech and so from afar he thought that it was Harry Potter's mom! When Bella's speech was over, she walked to the backyard to board her 2003 Chevy Pullover when a bag flew over her head."

"I have you now, Lilly Anne Potter!" he says and soufflés her into the trunk of his jeep. He sped off into the night. Edward grred… again his sences were tingling in the moment's heat.

"Listen everyone" he said, "We need to save Bella. Something horny has happened to her and it is up to us to save him!" Everyoned knotted. "But we need someone who is good with a sword…"

Hiei was good with a combat but he was feeling fangled from the sex he had with Dally (since there were no rules they had sex over one thousand times), so he did not raise is hands. In stead he deciphered to make a suggestion box.

"I think that Link should do it," asked Hiei.

Just then a blonde boy with a green hand and leggings came upon a gryphon. He was wearing a sword and he had pointy ears. He swirled his weeping and slammed it into the ground with his foot. "LETS KICK SOME ASS HE SAID!"

And then they wee on the way. Snape was fucking the shit out of Bella, but since she was blinde (the bag had punctured her eyes) she thought it was Edward and moaned punctually.

Edward bust into the room and saw them making woopie and had a look of sheer whore on his face. He balls dropped, he could not believe what he was saving. In his head he saw that his doorest Bella was in danger.. but in his yes he was seeing that it was not the chaste at all. Bella was indeed riding Snape's cock with her pussy, and she happy.

He ran away as fast as his feet could carry him.

"EDWARD WAIT!" Dally shouted. She wanted him to come back and see treason, because she saw from the way Bella's eyes were gourged out that she did not know, but then she remembered Bella was a cunt and told Edward, "I think we should kill them both…"

SO Edward came back to the room while the both of them was still humping and attacked Bella first. He sunk his teeth into her neck like the titanic and all at once she turned to stone. Dally grabbed Snape's dick and threw it out the window, and then Link stabbed him through his heart and lungs.

The scene it was messy… blood and guts was everywhere… and Bella and Proffessor Snape were dead. It was in this step that they knew they could depheat Dubledore.

When Proffessor Skellington heard the ipod, he rushed to the show right away. "Fucking god damnit," he swore, "Now we will need a new teacher again."

He thought to himself for a few seconds and then said, "Edwart! You can be our new tether!" He smeared warmly.

Edward was shocked and aroused. "I can not believe this… it is such a hammer!" He accepted the medal and went to clash to teach. Since he was a vampire he knew the most about potions.

"This is good news for Ed!" said Dally. "Aright gangbang lets go over whose in our gang: We have Edward, Me, Hiei, Link,Shadow the Hedgemouse, Jack Sellingtons, Me, and who else??"

"I think that we should get Sasuke," said Link, "He is is in Griffindoos, but if we tell him Dumbledore is a pedofile he will probably want to kill him two."

"That's an extortionist idea!" said Bella, "I think we should do it."

They all ran to the Gryffindoor commonplace and barged in on Saspluke, he was changing and half naked (FANGASM). Everyone ran out a once cuz it was embearassing except Hiei who came out a few minutes later.

"WHAT THE HELL HIEI" shouted Dally, "Do you like him??"

"I don't think so," said Hiei, "It was kinda hott though…"

"THIS IS NOT THE FUCKING POINT" barged Edward, "We need his help and so it doesn't matter what clothes he's wearing"

They uncame back in and he was closed. "What did you want gays?" said Sasuke, "Sorry I was studying."

"We need your help to kill a certain pedofile" said Shadow in a low but gruggly voice, "You are a ninjask and therefore good with killing. You also have powers. And a wizard."

"I will join your team!" said Sasuke he was tying his shoes. "When will we go on the missionary?"

"RIGHT FUCKIN NOW" said Bella.

And so they all ran off into the night to defeating the faggot Dumbledore with the powers!

Chapter five

Dally, Hiei, Shadow, Edward, Jack, and Sasuke left off trying to find Dumbledore. They were gunna get him frisked from the school because he tried to warp some boys. They looked in Hoodmeade, the chamber of secretes. And even used the map that Harry's dad left him of Hogwerts but could not see him for shite.

"Wait" said Draco "I know where the fuck we will find that bastert."

They got in the car and drove to the mall by the school. First they checked American Engle, then they checked Wet Seal, then they checked Tifanny and Co-op, but they finally found him in the queerest of all stores… Holster.

They all pulp out their wands and did cruses on him. He flew in the air and wobbled like a booby, and hit a lot of slaves on the way down. The employee working was getting liberated. "YOU WILL NEED TO LEAVE IF YOU SIMPLE PLAN ON KEEPING THIS UP" he roared, yeling.

But no one heard him over the sound of acne going on. Dumbledore knew how to excape however because he was a master of the escapes, and he clicked is heels together and said danished.

"WE WILL NEVER CATCH HIM" cryed Draco, just then Dallystarted getting morning sickness all over the store. "Oh my god…" Draco said, looking at the puke. "Are you…. ….?"

"This can't be…" Daldo said, "Hiei… I thought…!"

"THIS IS NOT MY FAULT," said Hiei. Just then he started to show his true colors… "it wasn't me… I swear to god it wasn't me…"

"It WAS you," Dally insisted. She could not believe he was denying it.. they had sex a hundred times and she never had sex with any of the ones. "YOU CAME IN ME. I TOLD YOU YOU CAN GET PREGNANT EVEN FROM ANAL."

Hiei got bat… the others just stared down ventmently. "Hiei is this true?" said Edward coyly as if to pretend nothing happened, "Did you impignate her?"


Edward was baken aback. "Is that true?" asked Dally, "Edward… I can't believe you…" she started crying.

"Why are you crying?" asked Hiei. "I.. I wanted to be Edwerds first time.." she admits.

Everyone was in raw. "Dally… I … I need to text you something" he looked at Hiei then pulled out his motorolla. "WHAT ARE YOU SYAING?" hiei demanded. He did not like that their was a private convo happenin. A text popped up on Dally's screen.

"I did not have sex with Bally," Edward said, "You can still be my fart"

Draco put Dally in a wheelchair, "Listen everyone I think we should put KTFD (Killing The Faggot Dumbledore) on hold because Dally's water could beak any time and its important we send her to the hospital wins."

They returned back to the school and Dally sat in the hospital bed. All kinds of tubes were attracted to her arms and legs to keep her populated. reminded Edward of when Bellala was in the hospital. But he didn't want to think about her… she was dead now. Now it was al about Bella.

"I'm going to go get you some medicine," said Hiei, and kissed her on the forehead, leaving.

IT left her all alone with Edward. He sat next to her on the bed. "You're going to be oakaki, Dally," he said, his voice sultry and soothing, and he put is hand on her leg under the cover. She was only waring a hospital gowns so it was her bear white leg.

"Edward…. Is that your wand?" she asked, feeling to weak to check.

"No… it is my hand… how are you feeling?" he asked her. His eyes were shinning gold… "Are you feeling… like being my first?"

He learned in to kiss her… but she turned, so he only got the cheek. "You're 16… are you sure you're a virgin?" she asked him doubtedly.

"I am sure," he said, "I haven't even used tongue with Bella."

"Well… I am with Hiei. He won't like it if we do that," she said, shriving a little. "I thought you said you wanted to… you can't blue balls me," he said flatly, "Seriously if you don't put out youre a bitch just like Bella."

Dally started to cry… why was he being so mean to her? She thought. Hiei came back in though and Edwart porned off. "What is he so mad about?" Hiei asked. "I don't know," Bella lied.

"Listen… Dally… I need to talk to you about something," Hiei said, sitting on the bed where Edward shat. "Do you remember when I stayed in Sasuke's room with him?"

Dally's stomach fell off… she got nervous, "Uh… y-y-yeah…"

"Well… the truth… is that… we…… Sasuke and me…. We…."

"OUT WITH IT" she said. "We… we… we had sex!" Hiei was so embarrassed.


The hole school could hear the scream

chapter six

Dally was cryeing in the hospital. Hiei ran away cuz if he stayed the narks would think he had beat her. Shadow came into the room. "What's goin on??" he asked while he asked while

"Hi-hi-hi-hiei and I are th-th-thorough!" she sobbed, "It t-t-t-urms out hes a f-f-f-faggot just like D-d-d-dumbledooooreeee!!" and then she wailed all over. "Oh Dally I'm so sorry," he circumcised, "But listen, weave just been given an anonymous tit about where Dumbledore is… so we have to go… do you want wand of us to stay here with you while you birth?"

"No… you must go to fight the good fight," Dally said bravely, "Besides I think I still gotta lil bit bonger cuz the baby stopped kicking…"

"Is it dead?!" asked Shadow bewigged.

"No because we took an x-ray.. its ok its healthy, just GO NOW!" she commanded.

So the boys ran off. The place where the tip was that Dumbledore was was in the Hagrid's house. Apparently Hagrid and Dumbledore are cloys friends like bfff (buttfucking friends forever) and so they heard from his dog, Axle, that he was in there (the dog learned to speak from bean around wizards so much) and THEN THEY WERE OFF to where Dumbledore was.

But the journey there was awkwart because Hiei and Edward weren't getting along. They kept glaring at each other and then Link noticed "Come on guys what is going on guys?" he asked being a good guy and breaking it up.

"Hie is a shit," Edward grred. "Yeah well at least I didtnt KILL MY FUCKEN GIRLFRIEND" Hiei shouted. "LOOK LOOK CALM DOWN NO NEED FOR VIOLINS," Link stated with reason

But then Sasuke thought of something. "OMG fuck… I forgot…" he whisper… "Listen, I Know why we can't defeat that pillow biter…"

"Why?" asked Sasuke

"Its because… remember how Harrys mom and dad saved him through love?" he answered

"Yes that's when Cedric died" Shadow said soberly…

Megan cryed at the mammary…

"Well… it's the same here. We need two people who love Dally the most to savor her… and mix together."

Everyone looked at each other. They all wanted to say the loved her the toast, but they all knew… it was Hiei and Edward, the nemesis's.

"You know what to do…" said Sasuke, "Do it if you really love her like yu sau"

"Okay… are you ready, Hiei?" Edward said. He was kinda scared, it was a big step…

"Yes….. …. …." Hiei said, "Ahem….. FUUUUUUUUU-"



BAM! They mixed together to form…. PLATINUM BILLY!

It was Billy Martin (from Good Charlotte) with platinum blonde hair. "Omg…" said Sasuke, "That's SO wrong… but sooo hot!"

Platinum Billy makes a face… "omg I feel so powerful…"

"I think its time for the fight…" said Shadow now feeling condo about the team. "But wait… your strong enough… I can go back to the hospital to see Delly rigtht?"

"Well yea I guess… well get your back Shady," said Plat. B.

Shadow went back to the hospital. He saw Dally was all alone raiding "Cosmo". There was an article about sex tips and it kinda make him blush.

"Hey… Dally how are you failing?" he asked her truly

"I'm good.. will you sing me a song?" she asked.

"okay," he said and then he warmed up his vochal cords:

"youre my honey bunch sugar puff

Hubby ubby umpkins

Youre my sweetie pie

Youre my cuppy cake gumdrop

Shnoogum boogum you're

The apple of my eye…"

"awww," she cooed, "That was so sweet… will you give me a hug?"

He went over to hug her.. .he felt the bumpof her belly but even more then that he felt her large breats. The room was cold (from Edward being in there he made it cold) so her nipples breast against his chest… He had to pull away quick befire he got hard…

"I have to go," he said "they need me at chagrin … sorry.."

So she was all alone… again in the wing.

Chapter seven

Shadows back. They were gonna plan their attack on Dumbledore…

"What is a fucken faggots biggest weakness?" asked Shadow since he missed their talk already.

"Its gay anal surf," answored Dally, "if they don't take garyatric pills then if we put enough water in their ass their intenstines and stomach wil leak out…"

"It is a slow painful dead," Sasuke continued…

"Because it will make youre eyes fall into your tonstils and it all falls out at the bottom," Link finished.

"Oh is that because their asshoes are all loosened out from the sex??" Shadow asked. Link noddd. Link bachelors from college so he knew about priest. Sasuke was also a healer but not unlike as much as Link.

"So how ae we going to get that much water in his ass?" Shadow asked "We don't have enough receptickles to put them in…"

"Platinom Billy has the power to shoot that out of his hans," Lank expend more. "He little red and then it just kind of goes from there…"

They all took deep breathes before kicking down the dore with a mighty PUSS and where there was supoxxed to be Dumbleore there was only Haggid with his back face to the crowd in a reclining chaira with the TV playing "Spin the Wheel of Excitement" ".

"WHERE THE FUCK IS DUMGBLEDORE" howeled Billy, he was losing love for the world and they started tumoring back into Edward and Hiei.. they knew it was a trap.

Edwad and Hiei were too toirtle from the evolution and laid on the dirty floor while Shadow spun the chair around to deal a DEAD HAGRID. There was wands coming out of all the sausages of his body …

"OH JESAS", gasped Sasuke he has a weak stomach and pubed all over the already dead corpes. "WHO WOULD DO SUCH A THONG"

Just then Axle came out from under the table… and turned mack into Mystiqeu!

"MYSTIQUE!" Hiei said he hed a venditto against her for not giving him those powers…

"Yes it is I," she smocked, "You really think you would get aware that easy?? DYMBLEDORE AND I ARE WOKING TOGETHER NOW!! HAHAHAHA!"

"YOU FUCKING BITCHASS WHORE" Hiei swore and he charged at her full blast but she turned into quickly Dally and he couldn't do it… he stoped because he loved her… even if he did cheetah on her.

"I cant do it…" he admittoed… "But if Dally knew hat you were doing she would be TURNING IN HER GRAVE!"

"I don't fucking give a Christ about Dally!" she laughed "She has the powers and you don't and Dumbledore and I are going to RAPE DRACO."

"SHIT" explained Link "We did loose him… WHERE IS THE HELL IS HE???"

"WE TAKE HIM TO AZCABIN" she said and then with a bluff fof wind she man a torpedo and flew out exploding the building. "WE NEED TO GET OUT OF THE FIRE" they shouted and dived out…

Sasuke, Hiei and Link maid it out but when they turned they saw the burnging ashes of Shadow trying to crawl out of the carpet… he was holdin on for dear lite but the flames endulged him, taking him deeper to death…

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Link tried to run after him but they hallowed him back…

They went up to Dalla's room in the hospital… she was sketching agun this time a picture of Shadow. "Oh hello," she squirted, "Shadow sung me the nicest song today."

"Dally…" Hiei started… "We have bad news… something has happened…"

Again the whole school could hear the scream thin time in angus.

chapter eight

They took a day off of KTFD so they can give Shadow a pope buries. They didn't put him in a koffin because it reminded Edward and Dally to much of bed and theyd get sleepy so they put him in a boat they took to Hogwarts and have him a Viking wedding. They set it on fire like how they died and sent him into the ocean where they ware mermaids. They all took a sec to say something in his salvation..

"I was always kinda jealous of him, " sais Edwarf, "He was so fast and kind."

"He took a sacofice to save us… for that I Ma always thankful," said Hie.

"Wish I woulda got to know him better…" said Link, "He couldhave been one my top friends"

"He was so young," said Draco, "I miss him alteady."

Now it was Dally's turn… she was in her wheelcheese and had to bring the IC down with her so she was still all connected with links.

"Shadow was one of my best friends…" she bean, "I wouldn't have trade him for anyone in te world, even for the rarest pokemon, or the biggest chaos emerald. He had a handsome voice and could have really made something of itself."

Her speech impediment made everyone cry, it touched their sharts.

"We need to extract our revenge…" Edward grred, "The ysaid they were hiding out in Azcraban… all we have to do is get arrested and then we will be there to KILL THEM."

"Ok but how will we get out after?" asked Sasuke.

"Dally can use her powers to transform us all into something to escape or like death eaters so we can disquiseourselfes and it will work," said Hiei.

"ARE YOU FUCKEN OUT OF YOUR MOM?" scrame Edward, "Shes pregnant… how in the bloody hell do you think I'm gunna let her fight you pussy eater?"

"She wont fight just heal, god damn it," Hiei said, "Well maybe we should wait til after she has the baby to do this…"

"We don't have time… I know I am the hero of it," said Link, "We need to go fucken now or Draco will be raped and fingered."

Just then the whole school could hear a scream from the hospital. I was Dally.

"SHIT THE BABIESES CUMMING" they all said in unsun as they to the elegator in the Hogwarts. They pushed button "Come on come on come on we don't have time for tis BULLSHIT" they said hirredly.

Finaly they got up but it was too late… they missed the babys crowning and umbiblical chord. But the baby it was beatiful … it had red eyes (more red than Dally's, it was Hiei's eyes) and black hair with red steaks from Dally and white from Hiei, and it had fangs because it was Dally's vampire genes.

Nurse Joy handed the baby to Hiei, "You are now the father of a new boy…" she nounced.

"Awww," he groped, "What sould we name him?"

"We should name him after Shadow who deid in his memory…"

"Okay…" Hiei angered, "His name… is Shadow Darkblood Yerameshi…"

Meanwhile Mustique and Dumbledore were around a orb (tne the one that made the room swirl and gave Daly the powers) and the ycould see into what was happening…

"FUCK" hurtled Mystique, "GOD FUCKING DAMIT I will teach that hot gothic midget a thing or two about fucking MY daughter…"

"Mysqitue it just gets worse… " Dumbledore sighed "That boy… is the chosen one…"

chapter nun

"Mama! Mama!"

"Dally! Baby was a bottle!" Edward calked, and so she came running in the room whering a nightie. She ass sleeping but the boys were over to babyspit the baby while she was sleeping sleeping.

"Oh baby its okay," she pooed, "I got your bottle right hur".

Edward and Hiei watced as the baby suckled donut. "Hm baby isn't liking the bottle" said Dally disappearedly, "Looks like I will have to feed breasts." She pulled her boob out of the nightei and the boys jaws dropped off. "Don't gawk!" she cried and pushed the door on them so they left… the baby didn't like the milk bottles because he was a vampire and wanted to drink blood farm Dally's tits.

They were now living in Hagrid's house science he was dead as a doorsnail but they fixed it up so it looked like a nicer house and didn't smell of dead so much. They also downloaded a few new rooms so the guys could live in there too. Dally didn't share a room with anyone (its not approprimate according to Proffessor Macognaggle) but Edward slept with Hiei and Link slept with Saskue (Dally said Hiei wasn't allowed too share a tomb with Sasuke because they would screw)

"I'm gonna go get some cake from the golden shower," said Edward. They had throwed the golden shower in celebration of the babyand there was lots of leftoars. "okay see you soon," Dally said as little Shaddow suckled her teet.

Edward waked down the hall to the kitshen when a bag glue over his head… everything turned black and he was drafted…

"Hey whered Edward go?" Sally asked looking around she put the baby on the floor and ran out to the living room … "THE CAKE ISNT EAT" she shouted and that's when she saw the note. IT was a random note is read:




"This was the wok of fucken Mystique and Dumbledore…" growled Hiei, "They fuckin took Draco now they took Edward… how are they doing this righte under our noses/!"

"They are the most powerful wizads, Hiei," Dally explained, "Listen let me call my mom right now." She took our her blackberry and speed dialed her. It rang… rang…

"Dally… I'm sorry to do this to you," came a voice it was obveiously a voice mail though, "But you should have known better to tan your genes… you will never have a baby again because your utorus can only hold one egg and you wasted it on this demon baby. It was chosen one and now it will kiss us all… because when demons and vampires mix it produces a hellspawn that is evilest at its core. I am takin away all the boys in your life so you cant make the mistakes sesame again…"

"What?" she ased her self and as she turned around… Hiei was gone too… she was all alone..

"LINK?!" she called "SASUKE???" no one answered… she began to fail nervous…

"M Y BABY!" she tugged and ran into the room wear she put it on the floor. He was still there shaking his prismacolored hair and biting on some rattlesnakes with his sharp fangs teeth. She plucked him and cuddled him "OH my baby thank God your still here…. Where are my boys??"

"Mama," said the baby, "Azkaban mama!"

"What did you just say…?" she aksed serendipity. "Did you say…"

"Mama!" he jabbered again, "Haha Mama!"

"Oh it must have been in my head…"she thought and went to go lie down…

Mystique and Dubledore watched from the orb. Hiei, Draco and Edward were tyed up in stem cells with water around them in big tubes and they were put to sleep with trancuilizers.

"That fucken damn baby knows…" umbled Dumbledoor.

"He is the Chosen One indeed," Mystique saught, "Soon he will lead her.. he cant quiet speak yet but when he figures will a way…"

Hiei used pound on the door of the tank… "MY BABY" he thought in his head.. .the baby heard him.

"I'm coming to save you dada" the baby translated back through transfusion. "Oh Shadow," Dally said to the baby, "What are you thanking so fuckin hard about?"

"Mama" said baby Shadow, "Azkaban mama…"

"I need some sheep…" she said and went to bed

Chapter ten

"No… no… NO!" suddenly Dally jolted up from her sleep in a panic, sweat was gushing down her neck and back like a giraffe. She had another nightmare about Shadow (the hedge) … "It was just a dream…" she told herself.

"Mama" said baby Shadow, "Mama mama!"

"Oh! Why aren't you awake, honey?" she said walk towards the baby, "It's way past your bed time its like 2:60am…" she said squinting to read the cock. She hadn't wearing her contacts so it was a lil hard to see.. "Mama where the boys mama?" asked Shadow.

"Your language is getting so well!" she said "But they're hear… it was all a dream silly gooch."

"No mama.. nooo!" suddenly the baby started crying madly. "… hm maybe it wasn't a dream," Dally said. She checked the boys rooms… and they weren't there. Then it all came back to her… he must have forgat cuz Mystique must have used stun spore through the phone to put her to sleep (her magic was that powerful).

"It must be up to me to save them…" said Dally, "But what can I do?? I'm only a first yeti at school… I don't know enough magic to defeat the two post mowerful wizards in the world … besides I was away on pregnancy for a while so I am even behind!"

"I can hepp mama…" the baby talked. Just then the baby pushed fort his baby arms and the whore room was laminated … "What?? How are you doing that Shadow?" but there was more… suddenly a portkey opened in the fireplace and it turned grassy green.

"Get in the fire mama," the baby commanded. Dally was umpires … she didn't know to trust the babies but suddenly she heard Hiei's voice in her head. "You can trust Shadow" he said "He is The Chosen One."

"The Chosen one?" she looked at the baby… she looked like a normal baby boy how was he chosen for anything? "Should I bring you too?" she asked Shadow. "No mama," he said, "I stay and watch house mama". "Okay… I'm goin in the fire now.. mama loves you baby.." she said and hopped in.

She warped around like gluten… it was like being drunk and high and on drugs at the same time. She got dizzed from spinning and finally arrived at a spooky looking prison.. there were black people in cloaks and no faces. She hid behind a well… but she was right next to a chainber with a man all scraggly in it.

"Who are you?" he wished, "I'm Serious Black."

"My name is… Hally," she lied, "Do you know werewolf Dumbledore and Mystique are?"

"The heads of Azkabin?" he wishperd loudly, "I don't know anything beyond this cage… you could ask Bellalatrix the Strange though…"

She went down to a few more prisons down to see a woman with black midnight hair and a black dress. She was playing a violin that was covered in cobwebs. She was playing Baytovin.

"That's very pretty," Dally compiled. "Thanks…" said Bella, "You're looking for… a blue women… and a man with a long white bear aren't you?"

"YES!" Dally, "How diddy you know that?"

"I am an oracle…" Bellatrix expunged, "This riddle will get you to them…" She handed Dally a peas of paper and it read:

"Down the hall and to the right
You will see a strange sight
It's a curtain it's black and red
Behind it lies Ed"

"After you discover that clue you will find the next clue," Blatrix hisses and then Dally ran off. She thought about it… it seemed pretty legit. She went down the hall and make a left and shore enough there was black and red curtain. She inrailed it to pee…….. EDWARD CULLEN!!

He was all tied up and asleep in a tanks of a water… She opend the door and he poured out… "EDWAD! EDWARD!!" she freamed begging for him to be life. She did mouth to moth… his lips were icey cold and it turns her on. "OMJ LIVE FUCK" she got mad and suddenly he beat.

"HUUUUUU" he gasped "HUUUUU" "Oh my fuck," Dally cried, "I thaught I lost you…" "No… HUUUU… I'm here… I'm HUUUUUUUUU okay" He gave her a hug.

"Do you have the next Ritalin?" she asked. He checked his pockets… there was a piece of paper. "Let me read dis," he said.

"Roses are red violets are blue
Hiei will die and Draco will too
All you really have to do
Is walk down and take the stairs to floor two"

"Oh no… we're runnin out of time…" said Dally, "They're going to kill Drake and my Husband!!" Edward grred quatly to himself at the thought of Hiei and Dally facking… but they ran off…


Chapter Eleven

The note the had said to go to florr two but for some raison they were having a hard time finding that flour. Edwardand Dally went down all the hallwasy in searching of that but none to come.

"This is impossible!" said Dally all flushed "We never gonna find that floor."

"WAIT there it is" said Edward he pushed on a wall and behind it cane a fleight of stares. They ran up and warp speed (Edard was a lil faste with his vsapire powers) and they came upon sasuke and Hiei in tubes.

"HIEI" Dally scanned, She ran to the jar and bangled on it and it wont hopen. "SHIT we need to find a key…" Dally insisted. She looked around and checked spits keys are. She looked in the keyhole and on the wndow and she was gunna check under the carpet… but it reminded he of shadow.

"I FUCKING HATE CARPETS" she said and started cryein. "Dally please contort yourself," Edward begged, "Look Shadow's death was a hard on for all of us but you gota get your shit together or all of our other friends will die to death too… please Dally, for me?"

She looked up at him, she looked so pretty when she cried and the tears poured down her face like mouth vesuvias… Edward was sohappy to see her. He leaned in to kiss to but out of the coroner of her eyes she saw Hiei in the tube and turned so again he got only the cheek…

"What the hell, Dally," and hten he slapped her across the face like you woud a puppy when he pees on the flowers, "All I do is ty to love you and tis is how you repay me???? Fuck you ad fuck these boys which youll probably do when you get them out… I been tryin for years to get you and you are just a FILTHY WHORE" and hten he stormed out…

Dally pursed into to tears again… she was all alone let to defend herself and save Hiei, Sasuke and Draco and Link but she easy powerful enough! She cried and cried, "Oh please.. what will I do to get powerfalls enough to kill my momand Dumbledore and save Hogwarts….?"

Just then a woman apparated in a glowing light of dawn. It was the Faerie Queen she had purple hair and a purple dress. "Dally you have the power.. turn into the key remember?" and then she vanished.

Dally was inspired and turned into the key and rammed herself into the keyhole of all the keylocks. The boys fell out and gasped for breath.

"HUUUUU," said Link

"HUUUUUUU" said Hiei

"HUUUUU," said Sasuke

"HUUUUU" said Draco.

"Oh my boys!" She ran up and recessitated all of them jungle they could breathe.

"Dally… you saved my life," said Hiei and he embraced her in a passionate affair. He pulled her onto his sotmache so she was lying on top of him… he sstaarted to get hard and he began to feel her up.

"COME ON GUYS theres no need for intercourse now," said Link, "We need to go KTFDATBM (Kill That Faggot Dumbledore and that bitch Mystique)". He pulled them up by their collers and they ran off.

"GUYS I mustard up enough power to grant you all this spell…" sasuked said. He waved his ebony wand and everyone turnd to a little glower. "I feel so powerfull… more powerful than hen I combined with Edward!" said Hiei.

"Alright, guts… LETS DO THING THIS!" said Dally.

Meanwhile Edward was suffocating down the hallway when a blue woman and a bearded man stepped out before him.

"Y… YOU! Your the one who tried to RAPE ME you fuck!" said Edward and he pulled out his gun but Mystique held out her hat. "We're not going to finger you…" said Mystique, "You are an assert to our team actually… and you fucking hate Dally don't you?"

"I don't hate her im just a little pissed and blue balled right now," he explained.

"Shes never going to want you… shes only yusing you to be a whore," Mystique was playing with his notions, "And if you join us we wont rape you… but riteaid now your out numberd so your best bet is to cum with us."

"What will I do if I don't?!?" Edward barked.

"We'll kill you…" said Dumbledore with a smirk… and just like that Edward joined their ensemble.

Chapter twelve

Dally, Sasuke, Hirei, Draco and Link found a mother note it read:

"What is it about individuality
that set us all at odds?
If the stars fell like we have,
what would ever be left?
Silenced, unmade,
like shadows we'd run out
believing in ourselves and
move nothing.
Before they call me in,
before they empty my eyes,
I want to see what the dead see:

I want to be the song, the girl,
and all."

"Wall what the cock does this men?" Heidi said and ripped the note up into pieces.

"Nook don't!" said Dally "well I goes its okay we can just look up and read it again…" Dally and them all looked up and read the note from the story (lol breaking the 3rd wall).

"I still don't know what it means" sais Link… "Not evin my Kialegee in medicine can produce enough to elude to this memorabilia!"

"We need to take this to a mote powerful wizad of all tiem…" said Sasuke, "Harry Potter…"

They rerunned back to Hogywarts by taking a patronis (Dally took a lion, Sasuke took a chimpansee, Hiei took a rollerbear, and Link took a horse.) that they cast through there wands. But they were being faulted… a shadows steered earily down their footpricks.

"I have em now," Bellatricks said through a walkie-talkie to Dum. An dMyst. (abbreviated for faster). "They are going back to Hogwarts … they are looking for… The Other Chosen One."

"It can't fucken be," said Dum., "If thay find out Shadow and Harry Poter are both Chosen Ones theyn they will combine them with fu sion ho and kill the fuck outta us…"

"I just have one cuestion," Bellatrix asked, "What do you want to do this four?"

"I cannot tell you until you level up Bella," Dumbledore exampled, "But you will after kill Harry… do not dashpot me dearest."

He blew her a kiss and she turned off. He almost lost the grape but found them cuz its like four people they kinda make a lot a noise… they got back on the boat to the great hall and saw Harry in his chess board playing with himself.

"Harry we need to ask you a favour." Said Dally…

"Listen I'm really busy I have OWLS to study for," he said tireslsy.

"You don't need fucken owls," said Hiei pissily, "You fuckin have the sarserers stone which means you don't fukcen need it now hear us out okay??"

"I Guess your right…" he sighed and stood up, "But this better be good I don't have time to waste on you mudbloods."

"Listen Dumbledore is trying to rape people here," said Dally (she sued her feminine charms to while him over), "And now that hes teamed up with the most powerful wizard Myshtique its gonna be way worse… she can transferm into ANYTHING and so can I but shes gonna use his powers for bad."

"no FUCK YOU FUCKING WANKER TWAT," screamed Harry at the top of his tongue, "Dumbledore would NEVER DO THAT. He's my DAD"

"Hes not your dad, Harry," said Hermione coming out from under him and putting a hand on him, "James was your dad, he was murdered by Voldemort remember? Are you horcruxed??"

"Nigga FUCK no," said Harry "Im sorry he never acts like this he must be fucked up maybe he's on acid," said Hermione. "Yeah Hermione and I have both been smoking some pots," said Ron, "But we didn't thank Harry would get into it or worse…"

"FUCK YOU ALL" said Harry and flew away on his Broomstick. "Oh god dammit Hermione," said Ron slapping her, "You fucking did it aging just like wane you confarted him about the needles…"

"The needles?" Dally asked, "What needles?"

"Harry has been using Haroine…" Ron admittered… "A lot of people have now that DUmble dore is gone and look its just not a good time."

They all walked away. "Were not ever gonna get that bloody Harry Pothead to join us hestoo fucked up on drugs," said Link. "Well maybe we will, hes already a fuckin jewtwat maybe we can just fuck him up more to confince him hes on our side."

"How will we do that? we killed Snape remember? And his dick," said Sasuke.

"That's still hope though… we have… UMBRUDGE," said Link. "No she's dead your mormon," said Sasuke, "We need Lupin." "Okay!"

chapter thirteen

Dally and the buoys went up the green grass hip. The sun was basking shadowly on the vines and the home above was candles and. They knocked on the door but did no one answered because there was a banging on inside.

"Whats goin the fuck on in there??" said Dally ceriously… they peeed in the window to see Lupins naked body on top of Tonks. Her pubes were pink and his cock was extronomos because hes part werewolf. He rammered it inside of the pussy and then licked it up…

"OMG we are watcheng them fuck," said Sasuke he was a lil hard cuz like watching porn?

"oh tonks oh tonks," said Lupin, "your pussy jucie tastes like juicy juice," he said and lapped it up more. It was squirtling into his mouth like a super soaker clause he was good at gave blowjobs… then he got up and started giveng her the anals

"SASUKE WAT THE FUCK," Link said, he moved his hand now a lil and accieditaly touched Sasu's bonner. He punched him in the dick and was like "THATS FOR BEING A HOMO."

"GAYS," Dally shouted, "shut UP or they'll hear us…"

Suddenly Lupin cracked his egg towards the window… "What was that??" she sniffed. "omg do you thank someone is watchen us fuck??" Tonks said and put her nips back on. "Yes I do cuz I can smell the erection…"

He schot off down towards to the voordeur and tore it open to see students the group by him, he looked down for Sasuke's big bone and grred… "Fucking you kids paying attention to me and my bitch having sex??"

"Shit well this is not a good way to start off…" Dally said, "Sasuke you dombo put your pee hole away "

Sasuke tucked its penis into his boxers so that it had was well hidden and counted to tell so he became flassid again and the Lupin forgot about it because Werewolfs have short term memary loss.

"That's an aid," said Dally reliefed."Listen Lupin put some close on and we'll talk to ya in a sec…"

He went inside and put his Abercrombie t on and some khaki pants and took a fast shower since him and Nymphodora were neuken. "Okay whatchya want?"

"We need you to tell Harry that crack is whack and he needs to kill Dumbledore…" Dally said in the long run. "Well shit that's a big grace to ask," said Lupin, "Why don't you aks Snape to kill him?"

"My friend Edwad killed him…and his dick " said Dally sad, "But we're not friends any more."

"Hm well what in this for me is?" asked Lupin.

"Besides killing Dumbledore we gotta kill Mystique also and we believe soon as we do that's we its blood in a bath-tub are able remove and placing in small flasks." Dally manifested and showing some vials, "After drinking that fucking mut's blood we its powers might reach, and she has to the capacity no matter what become they wants."

"Shit that's fucked up…" said Lupin, "So Dumbledore is a ass musketier?"

"Yes and he's ruining Hogwarts," said Dally she was so full of hate, "We sued to think he was a pretty cool dudes but now he's just a God forgotten fully used up dirty AIDS bin."

"That FUCKER, Lupin pounded his fist against a wall "I can't believe this… I was like best friends with that guy…"

"Well will you help us?" Dally adduced getting on herpes.

"Of course I will… I'll confort Harry about this soon."

They left Lupin's hotel and welked back to Hogwarts. "Well that was profit," said Dally.

What were that you are saying no friends with Edward?" said Link connection happened.

"Its just we became into a fight," Dally said, "He has a feelings for me and I turned him down. Ithink he goes to the Dark Side….." Hiei grred.

"This can't is…" said Link, "Edward were an integer part of our team, without him we have paralyzed. Seriously."

"Just don't worry about it, gays…" said Dally, she started become annoyed.

They dropped shit. "So what do we do now?" asked Hiei. "We wait…" said Sasuke, "Meanwhile I have to go to my room to…. .study…" "By Sasuke!" said Dally.

"That masturbator!" said Link and they all laughed and walked adaware…

chapter fourteen

Dally was glad that her and Draco, Sasuke and Hiei, Link were able to assist Lupin in helping them. But they had enough time now proceed because the Lupin made a plan to kill the fucking Dubledore. They all hung out at their house (remind that they live in omhoog the old hut of Hagrid but fixed).

"Let's watch some Telly!" said Link reaching for the remoer control.

They tuned it on and the Special Olympics was on. There was a boy/little girl tansvesite THING on the Telly and it had greasy barack hair and a butt chin and was ugly and clearly the most retarded of them all. It was flopping around like a crazy penis because it's the most retardedest and cant right write.

"Omg look at that big floppy donkey dick!" Sasuke laughed "What is its name??"

"And in last place is the fucking retard MATAIME!" said the Telly.

"Omg Mataime isn't that that bitch from ??" Hiei said, "She alarms cosplays as me and she makes me look bad. She can go drink puke!! She is a fucken smegma cone."

"Yes she is a cuntchild who has been throwed out of the utoris of a whore!" said Dally and they all spit on the Telly


They all lauged at her expence and then stated comin down. "Ohhh well that was good fun but what the scrotum is Lupin doing??? Its taken that wanker forever."

They all dediced to walk to is house and see wtf he was up to. Again he was fucking Tonks. "omg godsvloek… the o.k. for once and for all loose I this." Said Sasuke.

He barged on two of them those woopie and seized dick of Lupin and took off it pussy van Tonk and put in its boxers. "What the HELL man" said Sasuke "You said that you would make a plan to KTFD and all you're doing his getting this bitch pregnant."

"my tubes are tied" apparated Tonks. "oh okay… look anyway can you please?" Sasuked said.

"I already made the plans. I called Harry on the cell pone more hearlier to day and he said hed help … he'd to going to Dumbledore now." Tonks .

"Oh… ok… guess you guys can keep fuckeings now …….." they all laft awkerdly.

"Well this is deff good news," said Dally, "I think we should go home and check on my baby now. I know he can take care of himself but I think Prof Maconagle will call Child Protection Servises on my asshole."

They went back to home and creacked open the doo and went in to see Shadow… but he was gone!!!

Dally purst into tears. "MY BAAAaABbbbAAAAYYYYYY!"

Hiei quit stepped in. "DIRTY ROTTEN HEMORHOID SUCKER!!!!!!" he screamed, "WHO TOOK MY BABABAAYY!"

"WEIGHT!" shouted Link, "Look… thers a note."

"hey sorry gays

I took Shadow. He is the chosen one and me too

Sow we have to KTFD together… it is the only way

I swear I will potion her.

-Love, Harry."

"whew well that's a relief," said Dally and her tears came dry. "Ropefully he will continue to write to us and let us no his profress."

"Hopefully…" said Hiei, "Listen Dally come into the bedroom with me…"

Dally and Hiei made love in celebration they found Shadow.

Meanwhile Edward watch wasing the scene from the crystal balls. "THAT FUCKEN WORN OUT WHORE," he screamed… he was hurt but could not stop watchin Hiei penetrate her…

"You see?" Mystique said putting her arm around him, "She us just an anormous whore."

"You need to kill all the whores in your life, Edward…" Dumbledore said, "You did a super jobs killing Bella… and now you kill DALLY."

"No…" said Mystique, secretly she cared what Dallly was alive but she didn't wasn't dong to say that, "It would hurt to moe if you killed the fucken baby."

"Yes… yes htat is what I will do. I will kill the baby! And then I will kill Hiei that blood shitting stomach dog…." Edward grred… "GOOD GOOD" said Dumbledore Denny's, "GET RILED UP. UNLEASH THE BREAST IN SIDE OF YOU!!!"


Chapter fifteen

Harry and Shadow took flying horses to find Dumbledore and Mystique (no one know Edard was on the dark side) so they weren't looking for him. The horses cod only be seen if you saw a person die to Harry killed a Hufflepuff in fort of Shadow. "There no we can ride on ride on," said Harry as he put some boots on Shadow. " are you Ready to kill him?" Shadow nodded. His fangs were gumbing out of his mouth devilishly.

Suddenly Shadow beggin to cry. "What the fuck??" Harry swore (the drugs still make him have a potty mouth") "Why the fuck are you cryen? Is it becaused I killed the hufflepuff? I put his blood in baby bottles for you so don't cry cuz you will be fed and you mom doesn't have to take out her boobs in front of the boys anymore…"

"No not that," abbreviated Shadow, "I am hungeee"

"oh.. ok" Hary have never been a father before so he didn't know how to take kids. He swapped the horses down to a local McDonald's and sacne they were on horses they could horses though the drive thru. "I will have a large fyi and chocolate shake and BABY here will have a whopper and a toy" "ok" said the emplotey handed them bags and the flew off…

Meanwhile Dally was at home. She was still on maternality leaf so she lingeried at home while the boys were at classes. She sighed sedatively and was lonely .. just then there was a knock at her door. She answered to see a very hott many with black hair and sideburns and vampirte teeth… it had been a while sence she saw another vampire cuz Edward was gone and Shadow was away ktfd.

"who are you…?" she asked she put on her sexy voice because he was a sexy man and deserved the sexy voice…

"my name is Bill Compton I traveled here from Dallas, Texas" he said. "Omg my name is Dallas!" said Dally "but my friends call me Dally" she said "Well that is a vey pretty name." he bent over and kissed her hand and she blushed red as a wife beater. "oh my … well you are giving me the vibrators." Dally said shyly. "do you mind if I come in?" he asked. "oh… not at all."

He stepped in the door and was very close to her. She could feel the coldness radioing off him but it was kinda warm cuz she was colder cuz she hadn't been had sex in a while. Well maybe neither did he but she didn't know it just felt colder. "so you are the famous Dally Darkblood?" he asked stirring me in the eyes. "well I am not famous… but I am she." I replied. "But you are… I have come hee all the way from the USA to come for you… in vampire world you blood is a priced possession."

"What do you mean??" suddenly she began to get nervous and stepped a little back foam him. He steppd closer and put a hand on her hip and leaned in, "I would never hurt you… but I want you…" just then he kissed her passionately. She kissed back and let her lickitongue explore his mouth. They awesomely made out for a while before she recoiled.

"wait this is wrong" she said "I have a bf, bill… and you have a gf." "god youre right I'm so sorry, I don't know what came on me." He sawed. "will you forgive me dally?" "only if you don't tell hiei…" she whispered. Just then the door open. "QUICK hide in the closets!"

Bill ran into a the pantry in the closet and dally ran out to the living room . "hiei you are home early from your classes…" she said faculty trying to whipe a little lipstick off. "I felt like something was wrong… where is Shadow?" hiei asked eyeballin her suspiciously "he left with harry remember?" heie began to sorting hat through the house… "so that's not it… but something is wrong… where is hagrid?" "he's DEAD hiei are you high?" dally yelled. Hiei threw open the refridgerator… then the bathroom.

Dally began to get nervous… if hiei was high he was also gonna get violet and if he found Billy she would surely get the smackdown. He ripped open the pantry and dally prepared herself for the golems… but bill wasn't there.

"hm… okay I guess everything is fine after all… I don't know why I was freakin out so hart." He said and sat down. "Well lets go to bed honey…"

Mean while meanwhile harry and Shadow finished their mickey D's and were off to find Umbledore. they had switched there location to Chicago and were at a broadway musical (you know how faggots like broadway). The show as goin on and the actos were singing (it was Wicked) but Harry and Shadow inturrupted the show. "THAT'S IT FAGGOT WERE GONNA KTFD RIGHT NOW"

Hary at the risk of being expelled (he didn't cae he liked drugs) pointed his wang at Dumbledore and shouted "VENEREAL DISEASUS EXTRACTUS!" suddenly Dumbledore tore off his pants. "AHH IT BURSN IT FUCKENG BURNS HOLY HELL SHIT CHRIST" "Whats wrong Headmessiah!?" Mystique asked as the whole audience divided their attention to them "I HAVE PENIS BEETLES" he cried terring out the pubic hair. Edward stood up to with a crazed expension on his face and Harry saw him

"Oh my god…" he said, "EDWAQRD?!"


Haryr and Shadow staired renownedly at the vampire beehive them. Dumbledore was obeiously in grilling pain and would not even move because of this fact. Edward saw them and became running. He ran the theatre door and Hiei told to Shadow lube after him while he took care to Dumbleydore and Mystiue. Shadow began to chase after Ed but he was too fast like hed eaten golden nuggets..

Ed took a sharp turn down the hallway buttaint get away, because, Ed, had, the powers endowed in him by his grandmower Mystique and could turn into fucking anything so e turned into a crampon and charged at him. Ed flew into the wall and Shadow guffawed androgynously, but then Ed got up and swung a mighty kick at him and kicked Shadow kicked in the right in the face. Shadow's nose bleeded bulge he whipped it off his face and got right back into action… he turned into a rhino and horned him right in the butthole. Edward groaned in pangs, "Oh shit that feels like someone ripped open my ass and poured salt in the rim oh my god" he bent over and lays face first on the ground while Shadow kicked him (he is baby again, not rhino)

Just then Hiei dragged out Dumbledore and Mystique all tied up like hot pockets and threw Shaodow some ropes too saying:

"Tie these brotherfuckers up" Hiei said and helped him out a little. Edwad looked a little like he had a cameltoe in his pants and they laughed hahaha.

Meanwhile Dally, Sasuke, and Draco were sitting around watching tv and eating new Wendys bbq chicken (honey bbq) when the door bust all over their faces open and Hiei and Shadow walked in with them in body bags.

"OH MY GOD that rinks of corpses or skunks or something, herk!" said Dally covering her nose and then pullin up her shirt because her boobs were hanging out a little. "Unzip it and show us whats in that coo"

Hiei smiled like he was king of the wartortle and unzipped the bag, revealing the faces of their enemies distorted into frowns like theyd just got their asses whooped and handed to them.

"Oh my god you really did it…" Dally gaped, "You really—"

"WERE NOT DEAD YOU CUNTSLUT" Dumbledore wadded, "Get me out of here I am the HEAD MASTER of this FUCKING SCHOOL"

"No, professor I'm afraid your days here have ended.." Harry cuckoled, "We are going to make a room just for you and your fiends to starve to death like you tortured me and my pals"

"But wait… we only wanted to kill the faggot Dumbledore and my mum, who is in the third bag?" Sasuke asked probingly.

Edward slowly unzipped the bag to reveal the face of Edward fuckin Cullen. "OMG Hiei you faggot why did you put Edward in a bag?? We've been looking for him everywhere but not in the bag!!!"

"No Dals you don't understood…" Harry said, "Edward is our enemy now, he joined hteir evil side…"

".. Edward is this true? Why would you do this?" Dallstarted to tear herself up… it was like such a jigaboo that he would ho on her like that…

"You chose this dumbass over me" Edward grred, "You could have had better, like me.. I have a chevy with a butterfly door, Dally and I you could have whatever you like"

"But I just couldn't be with you Edward" she said this because she was 90% in love with Hiei and only 10$ in love with Edward.

"And that's why I'm gonna KILL YOU" and then he reached his powerful guido hands out of the bag and started to advert attack her with his hands, but Sasuke came out of the blue and beat him on the head with a wooden spatula (no suggestion…) He was knocked out uncuntscious.

They dragged the body bags into a room they built that yesternight and then had a party and Dally made out with Hiei and Harry tried to kiss her but…

chapter seventeen

Dally's patty carried on through the night so lets get this all straightened out: it's Sasuke, dally, hiei, harry, link and dally are all at this party and Dally is still dating Hiei but she almost made out with Harry cuz she was a little drunk off of Tila Tequila (as am Harry).

Dally was shitting on Harry's lap and he was on myspace but Dally idealed Facebook so she logged in and updated her status with "ths thinq called - L i F E - is qettinq kinda heavyy. but,, i qotta stickk it out `&+ deal withh it as itss thrown at me. qoinq to bed withh too muchh on myy mind. [textt]; me. q`Niqht,, myyLovess! |-D-|"

"Wait youre going to sleep already?" harry asked ass he snuck a book over his big dick to hide his huge boner, "but don't we have to feed Edwad and the rest?" "Look you poptart" Dally coerced drunkenly and slovenly, she had been shrugging off his lap like a retarded sloth on ecstasty, "I'm sooo sick of this high school drama man I'm out of here!" and she ran off. Harry had a look on his facism like he'd been boiled in hot grease…

"Dude man what just happened?" Link came oever, her had just smoked some cannabals and was really really high, "Did you just get turend down by the hottest chick in the school?"

"Yeah she is the hottest chick in the scool that's for sure," said Harry, "but nah I think we should go feed them dudes in the body bags though"
"Why? They're faggots," said Link and then threw up all over Harry "Shit man sorry"
Harry knew however that it was the moral and right thing to do to feed them so he avoided fatality and to get them food. He entered the door slowly liekeke someone with downs syndrome would because they kind a have disformed hands and saw the body bags on the floor.

"Dude feed us bro and maybe score me some LSD" said Dumbledore. Faggots are also huge pill poppers and so dumbledore's weiner is probably the size of Cuba (which is really small..)

"Nah we don't give you drugs it'll probably make you a stronger mizard," said Harry, his boner went away cuz none of them were hott except Edward kind of gave him a chubby, "but I will get you some food because I was brought up Jewish and that's how we do"

"No you weren't you little white bitch" said Dumbledore, he was kind of offended because he actually was bratwurst up Jewish "You was livin in the closet like a puss". This made harry tear up but he just zipped up DUmbledores bag so he couldn't see his face turn into a radish and cry like onions. "Okay whatever but I want a tribe to belong to ok??? The point is I will bring you food, what do you want?"
Edward said "Huhhh I want a um … buffalo wild wings from bdubs"
"Oh yeah that sounds good" said mystique "or some cheddar roles"
"Fuck you I'm not buyin that shit, you can only eat what's in Hogwarts and the house elves will make it," said Harry gettin his diva on like Beyonce (for anoyne who is not American that is the term afro when you have an attitude or are being assertaive)

Well the body bag victims did not want to comply so Harry beat the house elfs until they make the wings. Dobby was sad but he had no socks so he had to do it…
"Actually do you know what I would Rallys like to eat?" said Dumbledore as Harry Potter came back with the food, "I phoenix would be so scrumptaints"

Harry returned with the phoenix and left it on a plate in the middle of the room for the people to eat with their mouths like without hands all slumped ofer.

Harry left but he's so fuckin retarded cuz Dumbledore clasped his hands on the phoenix and just bamfed away…