This is my first Kink Meme fill, so please be gentle with me~!

Another annual World Conference is here, accompanied by the annual disagreements and name-calling from England and America.

"Why you bloody, no good--!"

"Calm down, mon cher, you'll get grey hairs from all that stress~"

"Shut up, frog! SOMEONE needs to teach this git a thing or two!"

"Haha YOU? Lets see you try, old man!"

"America-san, don't taunt him..."

"Oh, I'll do more than TRY, you fucking--!"

"SHUH TH' FECK UP, ENGLAND, Y-YE FECKIN'...FECKIN' BAWBAG!" The entire world went silent as a drunken fist belonging to a drunken Scotland slammed on the table, making multiple dents on the point of contact. "HAH 'BOUT YE ASK WHAT YER BROTHERS THINK EV'VY WANS INNA WHILE, YEH?!"

England, already in a raging fury, whipped his head around to face Scotland, threatening scowl in place. "I don't CARE what you think, you bloody wanker!"

A new set of hands slammed on the table as Ireland jumped to his feet. "Hold on, gobshite, hold ON! You think you can ignore your feckin' family while you go raise some kid from God knows where?! How about taking care of Sealand ("I hate that faggot England!") instead of that bowsie America?"

"That git is HARDLY--"

"Sealand's selling his body on the INTERNET, England! He lives right next to you, and you don't even CARE! You forgot about him and left him to someone ELSE. He should be your responsibility, not feckin' Sweden and Finland!"

"M'wife 'n I don't r'lly m'nd..."

England was speechless. He'd never meant to ignore his little brother (that is, when Sealand wasn't going around looking for attention and calling him a faggot), but they were right. And the very thought that Ireland WAS right made his blood boil. Intense glare locking with Ireland's, an argument on the tip of his tongue-

Grope. "Don't worry, Angleterre, I'm here for you~"

"Don't you dare touch England, putain!" France let out a rather feminine squeal as he was tackled to the ground by an utterly livid Wales, who had, until this point, been sitting beside Scotland fidgeting uncomfortably, but was now unleashing a (pitiful, in all honesty) barrage of punches upon France's face.

England, still speechless, could do nothing more than stare at the "brawl" in utter disbelief. Wales was...was protecting him?

His daze was broken as a bagpipe made contact with his head, sending him sprawling onto his chair. "WHUDDYAH DO TE WAHLS, YE KNOBJOCKEY?!"

The rest of the world, though thoroughly frustrated, would all admit that the drama among the Kirkland family was more interesting than World War II had ever been.


Bawbag = a Scottish equivalent of "asshole" with a side of disgust.

Gobshite = another term for "asshole".

Bowsie = something to the effect of "useless idiot".

Putain = a slut or whore.

Knobjockey = a rude way to say "homosexual".