A/N: Just a quick one at the beginning: but important A/N at the end. Please read it. Oh, and this chapter gains the M rating, if you know what I mean ;)
You have been warned.
Thank god Charlie bought Bella's excuse about staying at Rosalie's. Because if he hadn't, then she wouldn't be in my room right now. And we would definitely not be kissing like we were now.
And she hadn't even been here for five minutes yet.
But, hey. It's been a week since I've been able to kiss her. And that is a long time when your girlfriend is as gorgeous as Bella is. This past week has been too hard.
Seeing her every day but not even being able to touch her?
So I'm pretty fucking happy that my parents chose this weekend to go back to Alaska for the weekend. Because damn, then I wouldn't be able to have Bella here, in my room, and I certainly wouldn't be able to even half of the things I wanted too.
And that would really suck.
When I hear Bella's phone ring I groan softly into her mouth, and retrieve it from her pocket. Caller id says that it's Rosalie. I figure she won't mind too much if I ignore her. Bella looks a little offended.
"No phones." I say as I turn it off and place it on my desk. "No distractions. No interruptions. Just you and me, and this very empty house. Yes?"
I don't get an answer, I just get a girlfriend launching herself at me and causing me to back up a few steps. She keeps backing me up until we reach my bed, and I sit on the edge, pulling her with me so that's she's straddling me.
I push her jacket off her shoulders a second later, and follow it with her shirt, only breaking our kiss for a second to take it off.
Then her lips are on mine again – warm, soft and insistent. A familiarity that I hope I never get used to. I don't ever want to.
Her hands are in my hair (which is where they usually end up), while mine are at the skin of her waist, inching slowly up the skin of her back. I hesitate as the clasp of her bra, wondering if it's too much too so.
But a second later my own shirt's been removed, so I figure that it's ok. I slide it off her shoulders easily, and mine follows soon after. She pauses then, and it only takes me a second to see that she's blushing.
"What? Don't be embarrassed – you're perfect." I kiss her again softly, but I can tell that she doesn't believe me.
"Not compared to you," she mumbles back when we break apart again.
"Yeah, whatever." I just roll my eyes at her. "Now shut up and kiss me." She's still laughing when she presses her lips to mine again, but it quickly turns into a moan when my hand moves up her side to one of her breasts.
I do the same on the other side of her, and her hands twist tighter in my hair. I think she's going to end up pulling some of it out. Not that I care.
It's actually kinda hot.
Then she pushes me back so that she's lying on top of me, still with one leg on either side of my waist. She leans down so that I can feel her pressed against me – skin against skin, and I pull her down tighter against me, earning a groan from her at the contact.
Then her lips are trailing fire along my neck, and I can feel nothing but the pounding of my heart in my ears and our combined heavy breathing in the quiet room.
She's still kissing along my throat, but then she moves along my collarbone before finally moving down to my chest.
Now it's my turn to thread my fingers through her hair, keeping her in place as a moan slides from between my teeth.
One of her hands is playing with my other breast while the other is taking off the shorts I'm wearing, before moving slowly back up one of my legs, sending a trail of fire through my veins when she gets higher.
She moves her mouth to my other breast, and the cold air on my now wet skin makes me let out a delicate sigh.
Then I try to take her jeans off, no small feat when she's still got one leg on either side of me. We manage, though, and then she's against me with only our underwear between us.
She's back at my lips now, and her kiss is full of fire, passion, and need. And her hands are roaming more freely over my body now, as are mine, and god I don't ever want to be doing anything else in my life.
And then she reaches the outline of my underwear and pulls it away, so slowly that I think I'm near combustion before the stupid thing's off.
Then she's tracing her fingers along the inside of my thighs slowly, and I bite down on her bottom lip hard because she's driving me insane and I've never wanted anyone as much as I want her in that moment.
But then she kisses me even harder than before, as two of her fingers slide into me and nothing else exists except for the two of us.
It's been so long that it's going to take an embarrassingly short time for me to fall over the edge, but I can't really bring myself to care about that right then.
Because when she adds another finger and curls them at the same time that she bites down on my pulse point, I can feel the muscles in my stomach tightening.
And it's only a second later that I'm overtaken by waves of ecstasy and her name is falling from my lips repeatedly.
She kisses the spot on my neck (where I'm sure she's left a mark), before kissing my lips again.
When I've recovered a little, I flip her onto her back easily, turning our kiss into a rawer, more passionate one, before I start to move down her body.
Two days later, and I don't think I'll ever be able to walk again. Who knew that Bella would turn out to have such a high sex drive?
Not that I was complaining.
We hadn't even left the house. In fact, we'd hardly even left the bedroom. Again, so not complaining. We've managed to drag ourselves away from the bed for a few hours, though, and we've been curled up on the couch watching movies.
Bella's asleep on my shoulder, and I haven't got the heart to wake her up. She looks so peaceful. And beautiful, can't forget that.
She stirs when I shift slightly to regain some of the feeling in my arm, and smiles at me sleepily before kissing me softly.
"Shut up, you wore me out last night." She stretches and turns so that she's facing me, wrapping her arms around my waist.
"Says the one who refused to leave my bedroom for two. Days."
"Shut up." And I do, but mainly because she starts kissing me, and it's a little difficult to talk at the same time.
"I was thinking, before. I . . I want to tell Charlie about us." Is the next thing she says, after another short silence.
"Are you sure? He might not take it well."
"Oh, I know that he wont. But I don't care. I want to be with you, like, all the time. I want everyone to know that your mine."
"Getting possessive, are we?"
"Well, seeing as I have Mike Newton for competition . . . " I laughed then, just because of how ridiculous that idea was. But then I turned my mind back to the more serious matter.
"What are you going to do if he tries to stop you from seeing me?"
"I'll move out. I'm old enough to get my own place."
"Or you could live with me."
"I bet if you moved out, Carlisle and Esme wouldn't mind you moving in. If we told them everything, though."
"Or . . .or you could, y'know . . .move in with me?"
"What, like, live together?"
"Yeah. But if you don't want to then – " I cut her off with another kiss, and the tension in her body evaporates as she presses herself closer to me.
"I think that it's a perfect idea."
I heard the cruiser pull up outside, and the urge to run is so overpowering that I actually move to stand up in my seat. But then I feel the pressure of a hand on mine, and look down into the eyes of Ali and I can see that she's almost as scared as I am.
The heavy footfalls leading up to the front door are the only things that I can hear in the kitchen, apart from the rapid increase in my breathing.
God, I couldn't do this. I couldn't face him. I'd rather just leave a note. Yeah, that'd work. Just get some paper and . . .
Shit. He's through the door. And on his way to the kitchen. Fuck, fuck, fuck.
"Bells? You home?"
I don't trust myself to speak. I can't speak. I shoot a terrified look at Alice, who just smiles a little sympathetically, before mouthing the words 'You know you don't have to do this.'
She's wrong though. I do have to do this. If not for myself, then for her. I'm sick of hiding my wonderful and amazing girlfriend from the world just because of my un-accepting father.
That didn't mean that I wasn't scared as fuck though. But I steeled myself, and turned to face the door. Alice moved our linked hands under the table, and squeezed mine comfortingly.
I could do this as long as she was with me.
"In here." I called. I was a little disappointed that my voice wavered, but hey, a second ago I couldn't even talk.
He came through the door with a half-smile on his face, which faded almost instantaneously as he recognised the girl sat beside me. She hadn't changed that much, after all.
He stopped, standing a few feet away from the table. He didn't look happy. Great. Taking a deep breath I prepared myself for what I had to say. I had had a speech planned, but I couldn't for the life of me remember what I'd put.
"Take a seat, dad. I um, have something that I need to tell you." It's good to know that I don't sound as sick as I feel. Please let him take it ok, I prayed, knowing that even as I said it that no miracle was going to occur.
I could tell by the look on his face.
"I'll stand, thanks. What is she doing here?"
"She has a name, dad. Alice, remember?"
"I remember all too well." The harsh, clipped tone of voice he's using hurts me more than I thought possible.
A note would have definitely hurt less, that was for sure.
"Well, um, that's good I guess, because she has to do with the thing I need to tell you." I can't look at his face anymore. There's no trace of the father who loved me in his eyes, that person's gone.
The one I'm looking at now looks like someone who could easily hate me at a moments notice. Someone who had only loved the illusion of the person that I had pretended to be, for him.
Not who I actually was. And that though hurt me more than anything that he could say to me. At least Ali loved me for me. Not for the person she wanted me to be.
"I'm gay, dad. And I know that you know that you don't like that, and I've tried to be who you want me to be. I tried to like Jake, dad I did. I even tried to be with Edward for you.
"But I can't lie and pretend anymore. I don't want to. I tried before because there was no reason for me not to, no reason for me to not have to pretend anymore.
"But now I have that. I'm in love with Alice, dad. I have been for five years; nothing is going to change the fact that I love her. I don't ever want that to change.
"So I want you to mean everything you say to me, knowing that nothing that you say will change that fact. Nothing you can say to me will make me leave her. So do your worst, dad. I want to know if you can accept me."
I haven't been watching the expressions crossing his face as I've been talking – my attention has been religiously focused on the kitchen cupboard. But as I speak the last line I raise my gaze to his.
What I see in those eyes that are so familiar to me shocks me. They're the eyes of a stranger – not someone who I've known for eighteen years.
"I can't accept you as long as you're with her. It's unacceptable, it's unnatural. I can't have you living here if you want to continue this . . . abomination of a relationship with her. I wont stand for it.
"And if you'd rather be with her than listen to me, then you're no longer welcome in this house. I don't want you living here. And you can stop calling me 'dad'. I don't want a daughter like you. I never asked for a daughter like you.
"You can change. You chose this to be like this to spite me, I can tell. So you can either stay in this house and be a part of this family, Bella, or you can leave and never come back. And it'll be as if I never had a daughter – because I cannot deal with having one like you."
I couldn't process what he was saying. It didn't feel real. My dad would never say anything like that. No kid should ever hear something like that from their parents.
But I was hearing it now, and to be honest it pissed me off. When what he'd said actually registered, I couldn't control the anger that shot through me.
"A choice? You think this is a choice? You think that I'd choose to be gay? You think that I'd choose to live my life where people look down on me and hate me for no other reason other than for who I love, just to get back at you?
"Because I wouldn't choose that for that reason. I'd choose for the person. And that person is Alice, and there is no-one else that I ever want to be with. I don't care what other people think as long as I have a reason to feel better than them.
"And she is that reason, ok? And I don't want to live under your precious fucking roof if you can't accept me for who I am. I'm not pretending anymore Charlie. And if you can't deal with that, then have a nice fucking life. Alone."
I stood up then, desperate for him to ask me to stay, to say that he didn't really care; he was just checking how much I really wanted Alice.
But he didn't. He just stood there, not even looking at me. Alice had stood up beside me, and from one look at her face I knew that she wouldn't stand in my way if I chose to stay here.
But I would never do that, because she's never asked me to choose. And anyway, every time I'd choose her. Charlie was my past.
Alice was my future.
I think that he realised that I was waiting for him to say something, because his gaze locked on mine again.
"Don't come crawling back here when your precious little relationship crumbles. I don't want to hear from you again Bella. You disgust me."
I had been expecting something like that, but it still hurt like a physical blow. But I fought back the tears. I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of seeing my cry. That just wouldn't do.
Instead, I pulled Alice out of the kitchen, but she wasn't budging. I shot her a frantic look, but there was a fire in her eyes that I'd never seen there before.
She was angry. Like, seeing red angry. Maybe I could stand to stay here for just a little bit longer.
"If you can be so callous as to dismiss your own daughter just because she doesn't conform to what you expect, then I can't imagine how you can live with yourself. I know that I couldn't do that to my own flesh and blood.
"And if you can't see how amazing and self-less and beautiful and perfect that she is, then you're more blind than I ever would have thought.
"I didn't expect you to be accepting of this at first, but I would have never expected you to say things like this. A parent should love their child no matter what – not just love them depending on who they turn out to be.
"Because that's the disgusting thing, Charlie. Not Bella. Not me. The fact that The fact that you only care when it suits you. So I don't see why Bella should have to put up with you – I'm glad that she can move away and be the person she wants to be without having to hide because she's scared of what her father will say.
"So have a nice time on your own Charlie. Because as much as you don't want to see me again, I doubt that it's as much as I don't want to see you again. Not after how much pain you've put my girlfriend through these past years. You should be ashamed of yourself."
Then it was Alice to pull me out of the house. I followed, without a backward glance. I'd come back for my stuff later. I couldn't deal with that then.
I was still upset, though.
I waited until we got into the car until I broke down. Alice was a good enough girlfriend to drive a little way away from the house, so that Charlie couldn't see us parked outside.
Then she pulled over and wrapped me in her arms, and I don't know how long she held me for while I cried. It could have been hours, minutes, days. I completely lost track of time, but she didn't seem to mind.
She even tried to cheer me up by telling that he'd come around, and that it'd all work out.
But I wasn't naive enough to believe that. I knew that he wouldn't come around. He's made that clear enough. And strangely, I was ok with that. I had known that he would have reacted badly.
Not that badly, but still. Instead of pushing me and Ali further apart he pushed us closer together. And I knew that there wasn't much worse that I could go through.
So as long as I had her, I'd be ok. I had to believe that, or I'd never be able to survive.
So that's it guys! I think this is the first story that I've actually ever finished. Hopefully it's the start of a new work ethic. ;)
Also, I may have stolen some of the argument from South of Nowhere. Just a couple of quotes, though. Most of it's my own working.
So, a sequel? Let me know what you think about that. However, if I do decide to do one, it won't be posted until after the 15th January (last exam's then).
Thank you to everyone who put this story on their favourites, alerts and most of all to everyone who reviewed. Appreciated so, so much. Hugs to everyone :D
And I think that's it. Leave me one last review, it makes me feel happy. :D
Oh, and have a nice holiday, everyone. LFA.