Everyone on Wisteria Lane knew that Bree Van De Kamp was a total prude, she would always clam up whenever it came to problems, sharing her recipes and of course, sex. Bree was dreading having the puberty and adolescent talks with her two children, Andrew and Danielle who were twelve and almost eleven, she was trying to put it off as long as possible, but it was getting nearer and nearer the time to be telling them from personal experience. But that didn't matter, she was too embarrassed and everyone knew it, it was like she just couldn't talk about sex otherwise she would be classed as being blasphemous or something of the sort, so she kept sex to the bare minimum.

Mystery often surrounded Bree, it was usually passed around by Lynette and Gabrielle and occasionally Edie, since they were more sexually open and liberated than Bree was. They often conspired and suggested between themselves about what Bree actually thought about and what she did with Rex. So on this day, they decided to find out, Lynette got the boys a sitter as she and Tom headed with Gabrielle over to the Van De Kamp's place. The first thing they noticed was that both cars were there in the driveway, but when they knocked on the front door, nobody seemed to answer. So Lynette being the boldest out of the trio, she went around to the back of the house and she tried the French doors, luckily for them, they were unlocked. Lynette looked to her husband and their mini Mexican neighbour and she ushered them inside with her.

When they were inside the house, they looked around, they knew exactly what they were looking for but not where to find it. Knowing Bree, it could be anywhere. They were looking for her diary. The window to all of her secrets, her thoughts and the truth about the real Bree. First of all, they began in her sanctuary: the kitchen. They checked in drawers and cupboards and even Tom checked inside the cookie jar. When nothing was found, they moved through to the dining room, and it's when Lynette stopped and Gaby shushed them. All stood frozen in animation as their ears quickly confirmed what they thought they were hearing. Gaby looked to Lynette, and Lynette looked to Tom. The trio quickly and as quietly as possible rushed to the foot of the stairs, all three of them looking upwards, their mouths agape as they listened.

*THUD*

*THUD*

*THUD*

Each thud getting louder and louder. The pace getting quicker and quicker. Each time, something was heightened. And then;

"Oh God, Rex...Rexxx...!" came Bree's moaning from upstairs with the constant thudding of the bed against the wall and floor. All three of them looked between each other, flabbergasted, totally shocked and in awe of the Van De Kamp's sexlife. Who would have thought that the uptight Bree Van De Kamp would be in the house with her husband having sex, highly athletic sex by the sound of it, in the middle of the day?! It was ludicrous...but it was happening and they were all witness to it. Still as they looked between each other and such, the thudding and the moaning continued.

"That cannot be Bree..." Gaby whispered, "I'm jealous she's getting screwed so...thoroughly. Rex must seriously be one heck of a husband to make her moan so much..."

As if right on queue, Bree moaned louder this time, "Oh Rex...I bet you're glad...I..climbed on top now..."

Tom scoffed a little as he looked between his wife and Gaby, "Oh my God...she's not just a missionary kinda gal..." he muttered and Gaby giggled a little, covering her mouth and Lynette bit her lip to prevent herself from bursting into laughter at her husband's comment. They were so focused on the noises Bree and Rex were making, that they hardly noticed that Danielle came home. As soon as she heard the moans, she left the house once again, not really paying attention to the neighbours inside the house. Tom chuckled again before Bree cried out a little, yet not even close to her orgasm and he looked to the women accompanying him as he whispered, "I'm going up..."

Before he reached the middle of the stairs, Andrew came inside the house and he looked to the neighbours there. His brows raised as he saw Tom halfway up the stairs with Gaby and Lynette, waiting for him. Andrew then gathered why they were there as he heard his mother's moans and he decided to step up to his neighbours before he then said, "You know, that's nothing compared to their night time antics..."

"Flip me Rex..." the four heard downstairs and there was movement before the thudding began again while Rex pounded into Bree.

Gaby looked to Andrew, "You mean..." she stopped, "Haven't you ever told them you can hear them while...they...?" she shrugged a little.

"I don't thin..." Andrew was drowned out as Bree decided to climax right then. She started off quietly, panting a little before it all escalated within seconds and she was then moaning before finally she erupted in a fit of ecstasy and sheer pleasure, screaming out Rex's name before just squealing as the waves coursed through her body, hot and clutching. And then Andrew continued, "I don't think it'd do much good...they'd still be at it like the animals they are..."

"Animals...?" Lynette questioned as all the raucous and commotion upstairs died down. Suddenly the bedroom door opened, and Bree was heard giving a sigh as she stretched out, in her underwear, the red set Rex had bought her Valentine's Day along with her red roses and English toffees. As the door opened it caused Lynette and Gaby to scurry away as Andrew left the house again to find Danielle and Tom raced down the stairs as they hid in the crevice near to the kitchen.

"Get me a beer honey..." Rex questioned softly.

"Of course darling" Bree replied gently as she kissed his cheek and left the bedroom in just her underwear, descending the stairs to go to the kitchen in that red set.

Lynette nudged Tom and frowned, "Cover your eyes!" she hissed at him quietly as he stared at Bree's body.

She retrieved the beer and opened it for Rex, pouring it out before she took the glass back upstairs to him and closed the door again. The neighbours left their hiding place, Bree handed Rex the beer and the trio heard, "Thanks babe...wanna ride again...?"

Fin.