The irritating chit had forced him to get a mobile phone. She'd said it would help them to communicate when they went in search of supplies in the Muggle world. She was right that they couldn't just go around sending off Patronuses willy-nilly. But the piece of technology in his pocket irked him nonetheless.
And texting. Talking on the infernal contraption was bad enough, but texting had become the bane of his existence. Couldn't she just call? The text was tiny and while he would never admit to needing reading glasses, they definitely were difficult for him to read.
Today they were in search of foodstuffs for the faculty Christmas luncheon. Hermione insisted that non-replicated, non-conjured Muggle ingredients made for the best holiday food.
So here they were, in the middle of Muggle London a week before the holidays trying to make their way thru the milieu. She had left him an hour before, telling him to find the things on his half of the list and to meet her that afternoon in Diagon Alley. He was having problems finding something on her list and decided that given the noise in the shop, he should send her a text.
Hermione paused in her perusal of different holiday spices to check her beeping mobile. One new text message.
"Am considering a nice fuck instead of the normal fare. Thoughts?"
Hermione gasped loud enough to alert a nearby shopboy. Apologizing for her display, she took several deep breaths, trying to make sense of the text.
Well, we have been flirting more recently. Then again, we really are the only two single professors under the age of fifty-five in the castle. Do I really want to change everything? A relationship with someone like Severus could never be remotely casual.
She began typing…
His phone beeped.
"That would depend on why you want it?"
Why I want it? Because I'm sick of turkey every year. Why in God's name does she need to know my motivation?
He typed, "Because I think it would be a nice change of pace." Send.
Her phone beeped.
Wow, not the most romantic reason in the world. What happens in Muggle London stays in Muggle London, I guess.
Knowing it was probably the worst idea she'd had in a long time, she texted him back.
"Meet me in the back alley behind Marks and Spencer in ten minutes."
He flipped open his phone. Reading the text, he rolled his eyes and groaned. I just wanted to know if it was alright to purchase a duck instead of a goose. Why the hell do we need to have a conversation about this? Quickly paying for the items he had already found, he moved quickly to the loo and Apparated to the alley.
Hermione was already there, chewing on her bottom lip and looking very upset. It's just a duck. Does she not like duck? Is she allergic to it? Is it not ruddy Christmas for her without a turkey?
Hermione looked up at him, attempting to ascertain if he was being genuine.
"Are you sure about this, Severus? It will change everything."
"It would just change one part, Hermione. Why are you so upset? We don't have to if you don't want to."
"Oh, I'm pretty sure I want to. I just don't want to ruin anything."
"Well it's not as if you'll be responsible for anything. You'll just have to sit back and enjoy it."
She snorted in amusement at this. Apparently he doesn't know me as well as he thinks he does.
His eyebrow arched in question.
She was seriously considering taking him up on his offer. Even if it completely screws up our friendship, she knew she could at least rely upon him to be discreet with their colleagues. It's not as if I haven't considered this before. I just never assumed he would reciprocate.
Knowing it was now or never, she made her decision.
"Close your eyes, Severus."
"Why in God's name would I close my eyes for this, Hermione. You're being ridiculous. Just tell me: Yes or No."
"Okay, well that's settled then."
"That's it? Really?"
"What else needs to be said, Hermione?"
She was incredibly confused. If he wants to have sex with me, why is he just standing there,. Why isn't he wrapping me in his arms and Apparating us to his home? Hell, why wasn't he lifting her against the wall in this alley and fucking her silly. Irritated that this wasn't going at all the way she expected, she threw her hands up in exasperation.
"You can't just make a decision like this and not do something, Severus."
"Well fine!" Standing on her tiptoes, she slid her hands behind his neck and pulled him down into a kiss."
He was vaguely aware of a jar shattering as the bags holding his purchases fell to the pavement. He was very aware of her hands sliding into his hair, her tongue seeking entrance into his mouth.
He skimmed his hands down her back and, locking them under her thighs, lifted her to be parallel in height to himself. She moaned as he deepened the kiss.
He really wasn't sure why she was kissing him. But let it never be said that Severus Snape wasn't an opportunist.
They finally pulled apart.
"I guess we can wait another day for that duck."
AN: In my head, this takes place in an EWE universe, a few years after DH. Hermione is teaching at Hogwarts, and she and Severus have been friends for a while.
Also, I've been known to send some pretty stupid texts because of Predictive Text. That's what's happened here.