Forewarning: This would be a prelude to The Most Dangerous Game. Please don't mind the out of character Bella Swan and Edward Cullen (from Twilight) or the remark that Spike and Buffy (from Buffy the Vampire Slayer) make if you like Twilight.
A/N: I decided to put this up since New Moon is coming out tomorrow. I wrote this sometime ago and showed it to my friends. Being they got a kick out of it and knowing I had a Fanfiction account, I'm putting it up. I'm also going to put it up on my deviantART account and theotaku account (see links in my profile) just to see how many laughs and curses I get. Well, Twilight lovers, haters, in betweeners, and people who have no idea what Twilight is, ENJOY!!!
I don't own any characters from The Most Dangerous Game, Twilight, or Buffy the Vampire Slayer, so put your lawyers away!
The Least Dangerous Game
It was any other day on the island in the Caribbean. The sun was bright and the clouds were puffy and white. That didn't help Zaroff's mood as he came back into his chateau. His last venture ended much too quickly for Zaroff's pleasure. It was all to quick and easy. "Oh, Ivan," sighed the Cossack to the big burly man at the door. "Winning has lost its pleasure. There is no fun in hunting this game. I think it's time to pack up and continue searching for a better game. Humans have lost their touch."
All Ivan did was grunt not in agreement nor answer. It was just a grunt to grunt. Zaroff ignored the big brute's sound and sat down in his wood chair. "We humans are the predators but does nothing prey on us?" he inquired somberly to the nothing.
It took him by complete surprise that a girl would answer from no where. "Vampires," she stated excitedly. The Cossak snapped his head in the direction of where it had came from. A girl of no more than eighteen stood before him. She was pale with dark hair and was wearing casual clothes.
"My, my," said the Cossak general, walking up to her, his inner gentleman coming forth. "What brings a young beauty like you here?"
"I fell off our boat that my husband was taking us on to our honeymoon," she replied glumly. "I was hoping to-." Ivan's annoyed grunt interrupted her girlish daydreaming.
"Miss, don't mind him," he said, indicating lightly with his head towards Ivan. "He's a Cossak. They're brutes, let me tell you, and have small mental composites. I have been fortunate enough to have the brains more than the brawn." The girl didn't notice the small gleam in his eye. "So, what is your name?"
"Bella Cullen," she answered in a bored tone.
"So, Miss Cullen-," he began but Bella interrupted him.
"Please, call me Bella," the girl corrected him.
"Alright, Bella," Zaroff continued. "You mentioned vampires. What do you mean about these fairy tale creatures?"
Bella, having her senses leave her for unknown reasons, began to tell him about the fascinating world of sparkling vampires. "They're strong, cold to the touch, fast, are practically invulnerable, and best of all: they sparkle." Bella began to swoon over her own imagination.
Zaroff was slightly annoyed by the swooning of the girl. "How do they sparkle?" he asked. "From what I heard of vampires, they turn to ash in the sun."
"Oh far from, General," she answered, awakening from her fantasies. "My dear Edward can survive the sunlight. They reflect off his skin like-." Once again, Ivan's grunt interrupted her. Zaroff was grateful for the big ogre to be in the room and having the knack to conveniently grunt.
"What else can these pale skins do?" Zaroff continued. He begged to whatever higher power there was that his prodding for information didn't start the girl into a new round of fawning.
"It all depends on the vampire," Bella answered. "Some are able to do amazing stuff like read minds, see the future, and many other things. And best of all they're-" Grunt. Bella gave him the evil eye and Ivan stared off into space with his normal look of dullness as if he didn't notice her there at all.
Zaroff played the information in his mind. Invulnerable, fast, strong, he thought. These were all things humans didn't have. A devilish smile grew from his lips as the prospect of having a satisfying hunt come to him at last grew. "Do you know any vampires?" he asked.
Bella nodded. "I am a vampire," she said but before she could add that she was going to be one in several hours time escaped her lips, Zaroff indicated for Ivan to bring out some fresh clothes for the young girl.
"May I offer you a game?" he asked. Bella looked at him oddly. "A simple game of hide and go seek but since you claim to be a vampire, I shall up the stakes. Normally, I give other players three days worth of food and a knife as well as new clothes but since you're not a human, I won't give you a knife or food since it would do you no good."
Bella was about to protest that she wasn't a vampire yet when a thought struck her. If I'm able to survive this, this will prove to my darling sparkly - Grunt! (from Ivan)- that I'm able to survive the transformation of becoming a vampire and he'll turn me on our honeymoon! She became excited at the thought of losing her humanity to live forever with a dull but hot person. "So, what do I have to do to win?" she asked anxiously. "Who's the seeker?"
Zaroff was glad that she would agree to this with such enthusiasm. "You have to make sure you're not caught until midnight three nights from know," he answered. "If you live, I shall send you back to the mainland but if I win- well, we'll see where that will be."
Bella seemed to float on air. She jumped up and grabbed the garb that Ivan had a hold of and rushed to the nearest room. She dressed and rushed out the house and into the forest.
Ivan watched her go with a snarl in his stomach. She was too annoying to kill but Zaroff didn't mind that, as long as he got to hunt game that challenged him. Zaroff had read Dracula as a child and knew how to kill vampires. He did have silver in the form of a sword and a few silver bullets. He didn't want to bring garlic or a holy Cross since it would only make this all too easy. It was an hour (since she did claim that vampires were fast) before he could leave after her. His excitement seemed to be about to burst. The hunt was about to begin . . .
Meanwhile, Bella ran through the forest underbrush. The leaves and branches sliced at her skin. Everything looked similar. She stopped and looked around. All she decided she needed was somewhere to hide for three days. That way! she cried in her head, racing off. Suddenly, her foot became stuck and she fell face first into the mud. She forced herself up and then noticed that she was sinking. She tried to struggle out of it but Bella couldn't get out of it.
She was eventually up to her head when she heard the sigh of a man. She tilted her head enough to see Zaroff was shaking his head in disappointment. "It was all too easy," he sighed. "I haven't even started this hunt and it's already over."
Zaroff returned to his home in defeat. Once again, it was just a faulty hunt. He sighed and picked up a eclair from the plate on the table. "Vampires are less fun to hunt than humans are," he decided. "I guess I'll have to wait for someone that's more satisfying." It was still only dusk.
It was midnight when a new ship docked on the shores of the island. "Bella!" shouted Edward Cullen. "I'm here to rescue you from whatever has you! I'm almighty with my sparkles of death! Dracula is nothing against me!"
That's when a gunshot rang out from not too far away. Ed was so enthralled in his "Prince Charming" speech that he didn't notice as a bullet went through his head and he fell to the sandy floor. Two human figures walked over to the colder-than-ice body.
"Spike, I'm the Vampire Slayer," complained Buffy Summers, holding a wooden stake in one hand.
Spike half glowered half smirked in triumph down at the dead figure, holding his shot gun full of silver bullets at the dead creature's head. "That's what he gets for claiming to be the best vampire there is," he replied. "A vampire my butt. No vampire sparkles."
Buffy couldn't help but agree. "And thank God the writer doesn't like him either." The two began leaving the island just as a man not too far down the sandy beach curled up and rested, not knowing what horror he'd face the next morning.
The Least Dangerous Game: Fin.
Oh, right. I forgot to mention that I wrote this before seeing Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I had no idea what Buffy's and Spike's personalities were like nor did I know that bullets don't kill vampires in that version but instead just hurt them like hell. Please also note that this is like a Prelude to The Most Dangerous Game, where Zaroff and Ivan come from. Anyway, hope you enjoyed it! ^^ Reviews are nice, flames will be laughed at, spammers have no chance. Criticism is really nice too! :)