Author's note- There are a lot of things to be thankful for this thanksgiving. Now, I know a lot of you are not from the U.S, some of you who may be reading this may come from Asia or Europe or some other country. Nevertheless, I think this story should be read. We can learn a lot from this story.
I also want to add that I'm being funny here and that I really am not taking this seriously. I hope nobody gets too offended by this, and simply sees this as a humorous kind of fan fiction. I mean...this story barely has a thousand words or something. My normal rate is well over 4,000 so you can tell I'm just screwing around here.
Warning- Major OOC-ness here. I know it's not my thing, but this is an exception. Nothing bad happens now, but there will be some slightly mature scenes later.
Harry looked around the common room in disgust as he viewed upon several Gryffindor students all clustered about, reading a very familiar book. He could see Neville flipping through the pages of a thick black book, on the cover…chess pieces. Harry shivered; he knew that book had absolutely nothing to do with chess; otherwise Ron would have mentioned it. No…this was a book of pure dark magic, a magic so evil that the very mentioning of its name was proven to kill a kitten somewhere. He glanced over to Ron's older brothers; Fred and George. Both of them had a thick black book on their hands, both of them reading at the same pace. Harry stared nervously at the black books in their hands, both of them decorated with a red lacey cloth of some sorts.
"This cannot be happening," Harry muttered nervously. He shook his head. No, Hogwarts was a school of intelligent students. Surely…this must be some sort of a joke.
The young wizard shrugged it off and decided to leave the common room. No, this was some sick twisted joke, and everyone was trying way too hard to trick him. He could understand if a few were reading this book, but every Gryffindor student? Nah, it could not be real…it could not be real at all!
Harry didn't get far to his next destination. He walked down some stairs and stopped halfway when he took notice to a few first year Hufflepuff students. They were all girls, and all of them were giddy with delight. Rather than wear their robes, they instead had black tees on…and on the tees were the forbidden words; Team Edward.
Harry then made a run for it.
He ran and ran and ran, knowing there was only one place he could go to when dark times made their way into Hogwarts; Dumbledore's office. Yes, that was the only place for him now.
The great Wizard had warned him of the great evil, but Harry never thought it could happen, and so quickly too!
Harry felt sweat run down his face as he ran quicker, knowing he had little time to prepare for the dark battle that so lay ahead of him. As he made his way through the halls, he saw Draco Malfoy, dressed top to bottom in very inappropriate clothing, as his shirt had a shirtless Native American on it. Harry stopped for a second and noticed that Crabbe and Goyle were both arguing over something, and Draco was also in the strange feud as well.
"She should be with Edward," Goyle said in a whiney and disgusting tone. "They were meant for each other!"
Draco and Crabbe both shook their heads.
"Jacob is practically her soul mate," Crabbe said. "They've known each other for years, plus Edwards a dick!"
"Yeah," Draco confirmed. "Edward doesn't deserve her love! Jacob is a much more suitable lover for Bella!"
"He's a vampire!"
"Jacob's a shape shifter!"
"He's the love of her life!"
"He's her soul mate!"
"Skin of a murderer!"
Harry shook his head in disgust. He had never felt so sorry for Draco in his life…ever. Seriously, if he had a gun right now, he would have shot Draco in the head, just to put him out of his misery.
Harry took off once more, his mind set on more important things. He had to hurry to Dumbledore and hope the wizard would have a plan right now. And a good one too. This was something he had never thought would happen to him.
Harry stopped once more as he passed the Great Hall. He could see a bunch of Hogwarts students, first through seventh, and all of them had a black book in their hands. The disease…it was getting worse.
Harry looked at the many students, some of them talking about Jacob and Edward, others talking about Alice and Jasper, about shape shifters, about magical powers that vampires somehow achieved which in itself was pretty darn stupid to begin with.
But then something caught his eyes, something he had hoped he would never see.
His eyes widened in horror.
"No…," he said in a shaky voice. "It…it can't be…"
Harry forgot about Dumbledore and hurried into the hall, his eyes watering with tears as he made his way closer to his beloved friends. Ron and Hermione were sitting together, and in their hands were the books of evil.
"Roooooon," Harry yelled as he swiped the book away from Ron's hands. He grabbed on to his best friend and shook him by the shoulders.
"Why Ron, why," Harry yelled.
"Oh Harry," Ron said with a dreamy look in his eyes, "you wouldn't believe it! Edward and Bella get married, and they go and have their honeymoon-"
"Shh," Harry said as he placed a finger on his friends face. Ron had it bad…it might even be fatal. Yep, just the look on the redhead's eyes told him that it wouldn't be too long before his IQ dropped a fifty points or so. "It…it will be ok Ron," Harry stammered, trying to keep himself from crying.
"But it's so romantic," Ron said, his eyes glazed in a layer of stupid. He looked over to the messy haired wizard next to him, "right Hermione?"
Harry stopped breathing, he had forgotten about Hermione!
Harry dropped Ron and then turned his attention to Hermione; she too had the book in her hands. He pulled out his wand and aimed for the book. He knew prying a book out of Hermione's hands was impossible…he would have no choice but to rid of it with magic.
"Accio crap," Harry yelled. The book began to quiver and was immediately pulled away from Hermione. Harry grabbed the book and threw it to the floor next to Ron's book. He sneered at the flowery cover and felt like throwing up…but he knew he still had things to do.
"Expulso," Harry said in a very upset tone. The books exploded...never to be seen again.
Harry turned to Hermione and grabbed her in the same fashion as he did with Ron.
"Why Hermione, "he asked. "You were so smart…so full of potential."
"Harry," Hermione said with much enthusiasm. "Can you believe it? Edward and Bella had this adorable little baby, and she's so smart too. Her name's Re-"
"Hermione," Harry said in shock, "why would you even read such a terrible thing? It's so predictable. There is hardly any character development…there's hardly any decent characters in the story."
"Oh, and Jacob imprints on her too," Hermione continued, not paying any attention to Harry as he tried to save her from the sickness.
"Now is not the time to talk about pedo werewolves," Harry said angrily. "Hermione, listen to me; I need to know where you got those books!"
Hermione looked around the room.
"Where's Breaking Dawn," she asked Harry. "Oh nooooo, how will I ever find out what happens at the end?!"
"Nothing happens at the end," Harry said. "The ending is shit!"
"Skin of a murderer," Ron said randomly.
Harry sighed and wiped the sweat and tears from his face. He was not going anywhere at the rate he was going. This was a waste of his time. He needed to go and find Dumbledore and get this carp out of his world.
"How," he muttered, "how did it get here…?"
Harry sighed and stared down at his friends who were both looking for the books he had destroyed not too long ago.
"Don't worry guys," Harry muttered, "I'll save you…"
"Skin of a murderer," he heard Ron say once more. He simply shook his head.
And Harry left the Great Hall, his next destination; Dumbledore's office.
He would find out what was going on here.
And that's chapter one. This will probably be a two-shot, maybe three chapters max. I'm not a big HP writer, and I do not plan to do a lot for my first time writing one. But I will try to make the next chapter betterthan this one...that is, if you want me to continue this.
Reviews much appreciated.