A/N: … … This… is… different.
I'm serious. Lol.
I meant for this to be a practice lemon and leave it at that, but see, I can't write anything without adding something I like to call a plot, so let's name this PWP porn WITH plot and leave it at that. -.-; Yeah.
Please let me know what you guys think; I tried a lot of new stuff here, and quite frankly, criticism with the lemon would be delightful.
And just in case anybody missed it on top-
THIS IS A YAOI FIC WITH SOMETHING I'D LIKE TO CALL A LEMON ALONG WITH A GOOD HELPING OF SMUT. IF YOU DO NOT LIKE TO READ LEMONS, YAOI OR SMUT, YOU SHOULD PROBABLY NOT READ THIS. SO TURN BACK, I SAY. TURN BACK BEFORE YOU BURN YOUR POOR INNOCENT EYES!
*Ahem* There. You got your warning. Lol. Oh, and this was kind of inspired by "Bad Romance" by Lady Gaga, but it kind of doesn't have to do with the song's lyrics but more or less the concept. O.o Yeah, I know. You guys should be used to this by now. Lol.
Remember, feedback would be appreciated!
Disclaimer: Don't own Death Note, don't own the song "Bad Romance" by Lady Gaga and I don't own this Stride gum I'm currently chewing on. Hm. Minty. :D
"I want your ugly,
I want your disease,
I want your everything as long as it's free;
I want your love…
(Love, love, love, I want your love)
I want your drama;
The touch of your hand!
I want your leather-studded kiss in the sand;
I want your love…
(Love, love, love, I want your love)
You know that I want you…
And you know that I need you…
I want it bad-
Your bad romance.
I want your love and
I want your revenge,
You and me could write a bad romance…
I want your love and
All your lovers' revenge,
You and me could write a bad romance.
Caught in a bad romance…
Caught in a bad romance."
-"Bad Romance" by Lady Gaga
Title: Bad Romance
'Nothing interesting tonight it seems…'
The strums of music encircled the man as he sipped on his drink, light brown eyes glowing against the strobe lights hitting his face. Carefully going over the sweat-soaked crowd, the man continued his perusal until something (or someone) caught his eye-
A smirk overcame his face as he slowly sat up, knowing he had been right in coming into the seedy establishment on this particular night.
Ignoring the ferocity of the stares following his lithe figure, the brunette smoothly slipped through the throngs of people until his target was in sight.
Dark gray eyes caught his own brilliant stare as a shag of midnight-black hair fluttered underneath a small exhalation of breath, smooth pale skin gleaming against the barrage of multi-colored lights.
'Bingo.' The boy thought as he ignored the half-hearted gropes and tantalizing words sent in his direction, licking his now-smirking lips.
Handing his empty glass to a random person he didn't care to know, he sauntered towards his 'prey' and straightened his sleeveless turtleneck that lay underneath his short leather jacket and dark leather pants, the burgundy color of his top meshing in quietly with the darkness peaking in between the colored lights swirling around the dark room. His belt lay docilely around his waist as the belt connected to it began to jingle with fervor, harmonizing quite beautiful with the smooth taps of his boots. Letting his loose leather jacket fall from his shoulders, he smiled as more eyes swiveled in his direction.
Making his way to the table holding his 'prize', the smooth-faced brunette gave the man now paying attention solely to him a tiny smile, hooded eyes promising more than just simple conversation. Taking in the other's light colored tee-shirt and baggy jeans, he nodded at the change of pace.
It wasn't often that he was attracted to the laid-back type, but sometimes they were the best type to be rid of the extra stress-
He didn't notice the blonde and redhead turn their heads and stare at him as he leaned against the table, too entranced by the paler man's dark gaze. Flicking a random piece of hair away from his eyes, the brunette knew that this one was different, even if he only had his placid stare and bland expression to go by.
The hotel room door shut behind them with a snap as the golden-skinned brunette felt his back roughly connect with the piece of wood, his mouth dropping open in a silent gasp. Trying to control his legs from collapsing underneath him, the tawny-eyed man roughly pressed against the door sighed shakily as his eyes clenched shut, a pair of lips attaching themselves to the pulse of his neck. Hands slowly drifted into the cloud of darkness that made up the other man's hair, another gasp escaping his lips as fingers then began to unbuckle his belt and unbutton his pants, writhing a bit as a particularly sensitive spot on his neck was nipped.
"Aren't we such a little slut?" The light baritone voice reverberated over the brunette's collarbone, wide gray eyes teasingly meeting coy almond.
"Only when I'm in the mood." The boy answered easily in return, laughing as the jacket and shirt was stripped off of his person. The cool feel of the metal chain and locket that had been hiding underneath his turtleneck brought him back from the brink, even as long fingers pressed against his smooth muscle and bone. "What about you? Surely I'm not the only one without inhibitions seeing as it usually takes at least two people to fuck?"
"But I'm not the one already shirtless, am I?" Before another word could be said, the slightly shorter of the two slipped his hands down from the downy tuft of hair and practically ripped the shirt off of his soon-to-be lover's body. "Or maybe I should amend that comment."
"Yeah…" Laughing lightly, the younger man pushed the man off of him and back onto the bed lying in the middle of the room. Just as the dark-haired stranger kicked off his sneakers, the lighter haired youth did the same with his boots before stepping out of his already-unzipped pants.
"Couldn't wait until you got into the bed?"
"Not really." Watching the other man slowly stalk his way towards the bed, gray eyes traced the fully naked (and gorgeous) man and nearly closed in euphoria as skin on skin contact was finally achieved. Cold hands carefully unzipped his own pair of jeans and slid them off of his waist and legs, kissing different variables of snow-white skin as he did so. Gently tugging off the boxers next, the body beneath the playful fingers stiffened at the invading cold now prickling his expanse of skin.
"Cold…" Was what was whispered lightly against the brunette's ears as he made his way back up the thin, almost emaciated body beneath him. "Do you… have…?"
Sandy-brown mixed with ebony-black as the luscious mouth re-claimed the pair beneath them, the stuttering coming to an anxious halt. Pushing himself off of the delicious torso heaving underneath him, the brunette gave the raven-haired man a saucy smile.
"Give me one se-co-nd."
Watching the other man's bare bottom sway unconsciously as he picked up his leather pants and brought out a condom from the back pocket, the sensual smile sent in his direction as he tossed the object onto the bed was priceless. However, the paler of the two's mind officially became mush as soon as the brunette trotted over to his discarded jacket and pulled out a bottle of lubricant from one of the inner pockets and grinned.
At least one of them had planned ahead.
Jumping back on the bed, the snarky brunette almost laughed at the bemused expression settled over the man still prone on the mattress. Instead of letting an insult or a joke fly out of his mouth, the much more mischievous of the two let his thighs fall over either side of the man's sides as he leaned down and kissed him once again, moaning a bit as the lips pressed against his immediately opened and deepened the kiss.
Ripping off the material of the package with his mouth, the pretty brunette raised his eyebrows as he gave the man beneath him a questioning glance-
The condom was ripped from his grasp and carefully slipped on the other's cock as the man on top laughed, amusement pouring from his features. "I knew it…"
"What?" Pale skin scrunched up as the man still settled on bottom gave his partner a peculiar look, eyes narrowed and calculating.
"Well, I can spot a control-complex from a mile away…" Winking down at the frowning dark-eyed man, the brunette smirked. "And you fit the bill quite well."
"Is that why-"
"Nah… don't think like that. I just like to figure people out, is all." Slowly backing up as the man below him leaned forward, the smirk settled over the brunette's face didn't dim in the slightest at the sigh that settled over both of their chests. "Just relax and let loose, ok?"
"Hey, I just-but, I still don't even know your na-" Quickly delving onto those thin set of lips, the golden-toned man swallowed the rest of the garbled sentence as he grabbed the other's thin hands and placed them over his hips, wishing to cast the rest of the conversation aside and get to business already.
'Please don't tell me I grabbed the sentimental type…'
Yet there was still hope yet, it seemed, as the brunette was quickly lifted off the thinner man's lap and tossed backwards. Blinking at the sudden scenery change, golden fingers tightened over the small tube still clutched against his palm before said tube was snatched away and opened, slippery fingers carefully tracing the contours of his torso as he mewled in satisfaction.
'That's more like it…'
Rolling his legs forward in accommodation, those same strong hands that had been carefully massaging his upper front hefted his thighs as smooth golden knees hooked over a pale set of shoulders. Letting his head fall to the side, hazel brown eyes closed as a wet muscle traced over the soft skin of his neck. Sharp teeth began to nip at the conjunction of his shoulder as those wonderfully slick fingers easily slid inside him and stretched the silken caverns surrounding them; carefully prodding and pulling until hands twisted against his dark raven locks and the beautiful expanse of never-ending skin and muscle quivered under his touch.
"Tell me when you think you're-"
"Just do it." Sharp brown eyes turned and regarded the surprised gaze with a hostility that took both of them off guard. "You don't have to treat me like glass; I won't break damn it."
Somewhat muffled by the disappointed pout now lingering over the other man's face as those magical fingers slowly slid out of him, the mood dropped a bit as a sense of discomfort loomed over the both of them after the unexpected snap. Rolling his eyes at his own sentimentality, the amber-eyed man gently hauled himself up and pressed a chaste kiss against those supple lips.
Little by little, nip by nip, that sensual mouth opened for him once again as tongues slowly stroked the other and hips began to move to a motion that neither could control. Pants of simultaneous breath fell against each other's chins as milliseconds passed and lips were quickly reclaimed once again. Golden hands fell from the other's hair to his shoulders and then down to his back, clawing for more friction, more touching, more anything.
"Oh God…" The salacious whisper against the other man's lips came out slightly jumbled as the toned man felt something prod at his entrance, toes curling as tiny butterfly kisses were pressed against his jaw line. "Shit."
Tilting the body beneath his up slightly, shaky hands grasped at golden-toned hips as the long-anticipated hardened muscle slowly slid into the swelteringly-tight passage and simply pushed forward. Blinking as a hiss of pain and a sudden cringe brought him back to his senses, stormy-gray eyes softened as they met cinnamon-brown. Instead of verbalizing his concern, however, he waited until the tightness began to dissipate and the eyes still gazing up at his own show their relief.
Only then did he begin to move; slowly, if anything. At first, the dark-haired man felt his mouth pull into a slight frown at the lack of chastisement at his halting movements as he gazed down at the man who seemed a little too content to simply be used.
"You know, if I wanted a compliant little thing…" The pale-skinned lover whispered into that tantalizing ear before gently biting onto the lobe, "I wouldn't have left with you."
Refusing to admit to the satisfaction that came from the smile that blossomed over those succulent lips, the frown immediately left gray-eyed man's lips as those thin fingers clenched against his shoulder blades and he was suddenly kicked on his side.
"Then maybe you shouldn't treat your fucks like little china-dolls, and maybe they wouldn't daze out in the middle of said of fucking."
Blinking down at the gratuitous language sent his way (and ignoring the spike of arousal that came with them), the paler of the two almost shrieked as he was practically tossed off the younger set of legs and pushed back onto the bed, those eerie orbs promising nothing but trouble as he was straddled once again. Leaning forward to capture those lips that seemed to love to taunt him, he was quickly pushed away for his troubles as a trembling hand grabbed onto his length and stroked, eyes squeezing shut as he was settled back inside that hot canal of straining muscle.
Not being able to just sit back and do nothing, the prone man firmly massaged those quivering thighs as the motion of movement made him even harder; the feeling of tightening walls almost causing him to burst all too quickly. Bringing up his knees for support, dark eyes watched as those beautiful long-fingered hands scrambled for purchase over his lean abdomen until he could do nothing more than clutch onto the sheets lying beneath them.
Wordless pleas echoed throughout the bland hotel room as burning brown eyes closed tightly and those pleas became full-out cries. Small plunges had quickly become long thrusts as his most intimate spot was continually hit and his hips, which were now being held by those gorgeous hands, kept being pushed down so that he could not escape that enticing piece of flesh for long.
Feeling as if he were right on the precipice (he supposed the sudden burst of violence on his counterpart's behalf had more to contribute to that than anything else) of release, one hand slowly trailed down from its former spot and traced his partner's penis, loving the shudder that came with such a light touch.
"Please…" Huffing out as his face screwed up in undeniable euphoric pleasure, the seemingly older of the two couldn't stop himself as he began to stroke the other off to the quickening thrusts driving him crazy. "Please…"
Letting his legs drop from the former position, the dark-haired man heaved himself up and hauled the bouncing man settled over his lap into a searing kiss with one hand, the other still firmly pumping him. Swallowing the unexpected mewls and keening groans, he almost growled as those lips were pulled away from him and that tight passage became even tighter, breath stuttering as his lover's length hardened even further before ejaculating right into his hand.
Not able to hold out against the convulsing hot insides still holding him, the pale-skinned man felt his own release carry on for what seemed to be an eternity. After a moment of simply being, both men practically collapsed on top of each other before laughing to a joke only they seemed to know.
"Well…" The now warm-eyed stranger (could he still be considered a stranger after all that?) murmured as he attempted to scuttle back a bit from the warm body that seemed reluctant to let him leave its presence. "That was a lot more fun than I thought it was going to be."
"Are you finally going to tell me what your name is?" The dark-eyed man asked exhaustedly, hands trembling as they brought the hesitant brunette closer to their person. He felt tired hands release his penis of the dirty condom as he closed his eyes, waiting for his answer.
The brown-eyed stranger blinked before biting the bullet (he'd already had sex with him, so what did he have left to lose?) and letting himself be pulled down onto the other man's chest.
"Light." The beautiful boy whispered, not noticing the small smile blossoming over those trembling lips that had just been making him gasp not even minutes before.
Nodding in acceptance, those beautiful dark gray orbs closed and slipped into a fitful sleep, expecting the other to do the same.
Light wasn't surprised to wake up the next morning to an empty bed; though the piece of paper lying on the formerly warm pillow did surprise him. Glancing down at the fanciful writing, Light snorted at the words, not even daring to take a look at the phone number written on the bottom of the page.
My name's L.
Hope to see you again, Light.
He would like to say that he just threw the paper out and forgot about the whole experience…
But it wasn't like keeping a piece of paper would make much a difference.
It was just about comfort, after all.
A week after what Light would later dub as 'the incident' found the gorgeous brunettes at the same spot he had first caught sight of the mysterious raven-haired man named simply L. He sighed as he once again gazed out at the familiar club, also once again bored out of his skull.
No one seemed to stick out against the monotony of the crowd, feeling a bit disappointed at the lack of opportunities and prospects.
Last week had been a fluke, it seemed. Finding someone that interesting and attractive every weekend wasn't possible even for a person like him; he remembered his mother telling him a saying about bottling lightening twice… he couldn't remember the exact saying.
And he didn't really care to remember either, if truth be told.
Trying to keep his eyes out on the dance floor, the swaying brunette didn't notice as a pair of (familiar) arms came over his head and trapped him in between them and a strong, if wiry, torso.
Feeling his eye twitch, Light immediately went into his 'ass-kick' mode and elbowed the other man in stomach before bitch-slapping him in the face. Snarling at the his supposed 'attacker', Light managed a swift kick in the shins just as the man almost tumbled over his own feet.
"What have I told you about doing that, Mikami?"
"… … Not to?"
Light glared at him balefully before huffing out in exasperation and maneuvering around the fumbling bespectacled man. "Damn straight."
"Well, no need to get all feisty 'Kami-sama'. Don't want to upset the damn world order…" The older man muttered out sarcastically, pouting slightly as the light-haired fantasy grabbed his leather jacket and walked around him without a second glance. "Leaving already?"
"No one interesting tonight." The pretty brunette shrugged as Mikami quirked up an eyebrow, amused. "I think I'm just gonna head home. I'll see ya later."
"Sure." Waving goodbye to his friend, Mikami simply turned around and lost himself in the crowd.
He was sure his friend could take care of himself, after all…
Light wondered where he picked up his stupid luck and whether or not it was tailored simply to him or if all people faced the same dilemmas as he did.
As he felt himself get pushed further into the wall, the sharp feel of a blade digging into his ribs, he felt pretty sure it was just him.
"Now what dowe have here…"
Rolling his eyes as the stale breath hit his nose, Light barely had any time to give one of his smart-ass retorts in return as a backhanded slap quickly wiped away the thought. Spitting out a fair bit of blood from the cut now lining the inside of his mouth, Light wasn't the least surprised to find that meaty hand soaring up towards the sky, switchblade still in hand-
Light blinked as the hardened grip that had been squeezing his right shoulder slipped as the large body was shoved away from his own lithe figure, ducking as the blade went swinging over his head and hitting the wall behind him.
Turning slightly so he could at least thank his savior like any other civilized person would have done, Light was quite shocked to find dark gray eyes evaluating his figures for any injuries until his mouth had the honor of being scrutinized in such a fashion. Grabbing the man's chin, L didn't even hesitate to prod two fingers into his mouth and pull at his lower lip to examine the miniscule cut still bleeding profusely.
"Let's go." Grabbing his charge's hand, both men barely gave the now fully incapacitated thug another glance as they left the vicinity.
Still groaning in pain, beady brown eyes kept their gaze on the light-haired leather-clad man running off into the city streets, knowing that it was just a matter of time before everything fell into place…
"OW!" Light hissed as the cotton-swab continued to poke at his lower lip, pouting as L gave him a stern glare. "It hurts…"
"I know." L murmured, his other hand gently maneuvering over the hand-shaped bruise now covering his left cheek. "But it won't get better unless it hurts a bit more first."
"Well, that's just stupid…" The tired brunette muttered underneath his breath before hissing out in pain as the cotton-swab passed by the cut without him noticing. "Hey!"
"Are you alright?" Curt and straight to the point; he didn't remember L being so mechanical the week before.
"Well?" Trying not to let the evil piece of cotton anywhere near his mouth, Light slowly backed away so as to answer the other man's question.
"I'm fine! You can stop attacking me with your evil coalition of first-aid tools, ok?" Picking up the glass of ginger-ale given to him and taking a quick swig, Light examined the interior of what he assumed to be the other man's apartment; the clinical white tiled floor coupled with the smooth white walls giving the air of a hospital or a mental-establishment. He couldn't see many personal items cluttered around the small portion of furniture he did come in contact with, so he could only assume that he'd been saved by and had had sex with a social-hermit.
"Ah…" Dropping down from the table he had been settled over (even if the kinky possibilities wouldn't cease to stop tormenting him in his head), Light gave the man a small smile of appreciation. "Not to seem ungrateful, um, thanks for sav-"
"You never called." L stated, his eyes as distraught as they could possibly express.
Obviously his acquaintance had never heard of such a thing as a 'one-night-stand', and Light wasn't sure he wanted to be the one to teach him of such a thing.
"I thought…" Shaking his head, L seemed to drop the subject even within his own head, not wishing to make his guest anymore uncomfortable than he already made him. "Never mind. You may use the phone to call a ride if you do not have a cell-phone. You seem to be fine, though I would be more careful when walking around dark alleys on Saturday nights."
"Yeah…" Feeling ashamed of himself for a reason that he could not comprehend, Light nodded as he kept his gaze directly on the man still standing in front of him attempting not to appear downtrodden, even if it was as obvious as the bruise settled over Light's face.
Perhaps it had been the way his eyes had shrouded over at the possibility that Light had not wanted him all that much to begin with, or perhaps it had been the way his voice had dropped once he had noticed the sudden tension in his company's body as soon as he brought up what had been on his mind, but all Light knew was that one minute they had both been staring at each other with equal amounts of pity and distress and the next they were both making out over said table that Light had just been having scandalous ideas about.
Quickly shedding his jacket and letting it fall to the floor with a heavy thud, Light wondered if this was going to be a new habit when it came to the raven haired man.
As he was suddenly slammed back onto the table, his lower half still suspended in mid-air as quick hands began to divest him of his clothing, Light really couldn't bring himself to care one way or another.
If the fact that he was waking up in somebody else's arms wasn't uncomfortable enough, the fact that he was waking up in somebody else's apartment nearly sent his brain in full overload.
Wincing at the aching pain still tingling from his lip, Light slowly slid out of the other's weak embrace and limped over to his clothes, wondering how man could get it up so many times in one night and not be the least bit pained about it.
'Some people have all the luck.' The young man sighed quietly to himself as he pulled up his pants, smiling as he pulled out his cell-phone and checking all the missed calls he received the night before.
It wasn't Light's style, but L's heart-broken expression still lingered guiltily over his conscience; especially since he had probably saved him from certain 'doom' the night before. Taking out a crumbled napkin that had been settled in his pants pocket from the night before, Light stole a pen from the other man's desk and quickly jotted down a note of his own and left it on the pillow he had used last night, quietly trotting out of the room in search of the rest of his clothes.
You're right; I didn't call.
But instead of getting all angsty about it, why don't you try calling me this time?
L smirked as he quirked an eye open and read the note balanced next to his head, the sound of his front door closing echoing throughout the apartment.
"Big brother!" Light blinked as he spun around while pulling on his signature leather coat, his 13-year-old sister staring up at him with shining eyes and a gleaming grin. "Your phone! You almost forgot it again!"
"Thanks." Glancing down at the lit screen, he felt his mouth twitch involuntarily as the words 'One New Message' blinked up at him. Snapping open his phone, Light frowned down at the unfamiliar number before clicking 'open'.
I didn't call, but at least I left a message.
See you tonight.
One week after his near-death-experience and crazy sex-romp, and this was the first sign of contact. A part of Light felt uneasy at having the man be able to contact him so easily, but another much greater part was anticipating copious amounts of crazy sex that was about to be had instead.
This was the first time that he had had a one-night stand turn into a multi-night-stand, but that was ok.
Light was always open to new experiences.
"How old are you?"
Light had nearly fell off the bed at the sudden question, the hotel room they resided in mimicking the first room's décor quite horribly.
L seemed to notice the hesitation on his lover's part when answering any questions pertaining to himself; oh, anything else was just fine, but once you crossed that safe zone, Light seemed to immediately shut down and become wary of everything being conversed-
Which was really silly seeing as the two men had been having non-stop sex every Saturday night for the last two months.
"You're not a minor, are you…?" L cautiously asked, almost falling off the bed himself at the sudden bought of laughter took him off guard.
"Not quite, but you are cutting it with me." Light stated, the amusement he felt taking the edge off of the conversation at hand. "I… I'm 18."
"Wow." L's wide eyes became all the wider. "You certainly don't look it."
Once again the hotel room reverberated with Light's laughter, the comforter masking L's smile quite well.
"I'm 26." The pale-skinned man whispered, nearly laughing himself as Light immediately ceased his own hysterics and gave L a scandalized (if appraising) gape.
"Oh my God, you're robbing the cradle!" Not taking his partner's glare seriously, the brazen brunette smirked seductively as he then crawled over to L's side of the bed. "Though… does that technically make me a silver-fox lover?"
"I am not a silver-fox!" L immediately shot up, his usually unassuming face contorted into faux-anger.
"But you will be!" Light laughed once again, chuckling madly as he was then tackled back into the mattress, the laughter not ceasing in the least.
"I said no!"
"Please, Light, just listen to me-"
"I told you before; it won't work with me, L."
"You're being unreasonable-"
A vase came flying over L's head as Light grabbed his coat and fled the older man's apartment.
L stared down at the broken porcelain, slowly sliding down onto the floor as he carefully picked up an uneven shard.
He hadn't thought that wanting to take their relationship to the next level was such a bad thing-
But the thing that L kept himself blinded to was the fact that Light didn't see what they had as a relationship; to him, it was just a beneficial contract between two people who liked to have sex together.
Whatever feelings they had were not to be included in the equation.
But let it be known that L was not easily pushed aside.
'We could be perfect…'
Letting the imperfect shard drop back with the rest of the pile, L sighed before standing up and getting his broom.
'Tomorrow is another day…'
"It… it could be like this." L whispered against Light's ear, the TV quietly playing in the background as the younger man sat timidly on his lap. "Always."
"Stop it." Light shivered, his bare-chest taking the lot of the chill from the open windows. It was getting to be winter time and soon, Light knew that he would have to begin bundling up just to set foot out of his apartment.
But that was not what was bothering him at the moment.
"Why can't you just be satisfied with what we have now?" The man shakily asked, his eyes watering under the pressure of not just L's pleas but of-
He wouldn't think about that right now.
He was with L, and he would not think about that right now.
"Because I know you can give me more!" L finally snarled, his patience snapping after nearly four months of silent wishes and gentle nudges of what he knew could be the best thing either of them had ever had. "You just don't want to!"
"Don't you think if it was as simple as me not wanting to, that I would have given in a long time ago?" Hands gripped against the teen's sides as unbidden tears slipped down his cheeks, wondering why L just had to ask, and ask, and ask questions that always made him feel like the worst person in the world!
"If you can't even give me a reason as to why we can't be together, then for me, it doesn't exist." It was difficult for the older man not to be swayed by the rare sight of tears sliding down both of their chests, but L couldn't let this go. Light was difficult, and to break his limits was an accomplishment; if he didn't get his answers now, he didn't think he'd ever get them. "What is it that you're so afraid of, Light?"
"I… I can't! I'm sorry, but I just CAN'T." Light whispered, pushing the man's arms off of his person before grabbing his shirt and pulling it over his head. "You and me, we don't mix. Why can't you get that through your stupid head and leave well enough alone?"
L said nothing else as he watched the younger man stomp out of the hotel room, wincing as the door slammed shut behind him.
That hadn't gone as well as he had hoped.
L stared down at the text, the first one of its kind.
Even after all the violent outbursts and yelling matches, Light had never apologized.
But what had been different.
The words stared up at him; taunting him.
He gave his office a glance around, wondering if he would ever be able to understand his childish lover.
He thought about his own words; how they must have affected the boy so much, that he felt that he had to apologize, even if through text-message.
He knew Hell must have froze over if Light was willing to admit he was wrong about something.
And that was when L knew what he had to do.
Light bit his lip as he stared at the door in front of him, hand clutching the small item in his pocket and wondering if L would appreciate the tiny trinket.
Had it really been that long since he had met L?
Light quietly lifted his hand and knocked on the door, hoping the man wouldn't look too much into the item he had gotten for him.
It had belonged to his father, but now it would be L's.
The smooth feel of the antique pen nestled in his grasp was soon forgotten as Light steeled his nerves and smiled.
The door opened, and the brunette knew he was already breaking one of his own rules.
"What do you do for a living?"
Surprisingly, it wasn't L who asked this question.
The dark-haired man halted his ministrations over the younger man's back, his attention deviated from the light scars that he had not noticed until about three months back. "I'm a detective."
Light blinked before tilting his head to the side, sighing as L carefully kissed one of the deeper scars settled over one of the brunette's lower ribs.
L smirked as the boy settled back onto the pillow he was holding, letting L do as he wanted.
Little by little…
He knew he would get what he wanted.
Little. By. Little.
Sometimes, how they got themselves into these situations was a question even to themselves.
Light struggled against the silk ties wrapped around his wrists, binding his hands together against his back. Legs wrapped around L's waist, he squirmed a bit as the cold steel of his companion's desk began to make his backside numb.
"L, please…" Feeling his breath catch in his throat as warm fingers trailed up his back, Light whimpered as he was pushed into once again. Lips slipped over his own in a familiar choreography of movement, carefully undoing the ties that were sure to have left red marks at this point.
"But only because you said please…" L murmured against his lover's lips before attacking them once again, not willing to admit just how much a bound, helpless Light pleading for more of anything aroused him; especially when the teen would simply catalogue it for future reference and use said information to torment him later on…
L groaned as the man perched above him whined incessantly, swallowing every wordless plea with gusto. The warmth tucked around him convulsed as the boy, barely out of his teens, grabbed his shoulders and fully slammed himself down upon the tense detective once again.
Placing his hands on his lover's hips, L kept him there before leaning forward and very nearly devouring the youth's mouth, letting every still-caged emotion he felt for his 'dirty little secret' pour over in just one messy kiss.
Before either man could move, the cell-phone beside the large bed began to ring incessantly. Light bit his lip as his gaze moved from the man still inside him to the object calling his attention, golden-brown eyes melting with dissatisfaction.
"Go ahead," L whispered before sliding back a bit, affectionately kissing the man on his nose "I'll still be here."
Light blinked in surprise, not sure what to make of the gentle gesture. Without letting himself delve too deeply into such an affectionate act could mean, Light picked up his phone and frowned as his little sister's number blinked on the screen.
"Hello? Yeah…" L watched as a range of emotions crossed Light's face, knowing that their play time had most likely come to an early end. "Ok. Don't worry, I'll be right there, alright? Love you too."
Blinking at the returned endearment, L felt a swell of jealousy rise in his chest and burn him with scorching red flames.
"I have to go; my sister doesn't feel too well, and my mother had a long day at work." Light whispered, the pull of covetousness diminishing as soon as it was summoned within the docile detective. "I'll see you la-"
"I'll take you home." L announced, picking up their clothes and throwing them on the bed so that they could sort them out simultaneously. "It's still early; besides, they'll be wondering what it was you were doing."
"Or do you mean who was doing me?" The light-haired man muttered as he pulled his shirt on over his head, not sure if letting L take him home was such a good thing-
Yet knowing the stubborn detective, he really had no choice in the matter, did he?
Of course not.
"Do I really want to know how it is that you knew how to get to my house without me having to give you any directions?" Light asked dryly, giving the man a bland stare of amusement.
The dark-haired man simply pointed at himself before swerving suddenly, not looking the least bit fazed that he had almost hit a pedestrian. "Detective."
"Right." Feeling a tiny bit uncomfortable, Light was suddenly glad that he didn't have a criminal record.
He was sure it wouldn't have remained a secret for long if L's incessant curiosity was any indication.
"Here we are." L happily chirped before parking the car on the other side of the street and bouncing out of the vehicle.
Light, of course, bounded out without a lot less enthusiasm.
"You don't have to do this," Light called out, eyes twitching maniacally.
L smirked before grabbing the boy's hand and pulling him up the stairs, wondering just what Light's immediate family looked like and if they were nearly as suspicious as the golden-tanned teen giving him the stink-eye at the moment.
"LIGHT!" A raspy soprano voice reverberated down the rafters as both men looked up, Light biting his lip a his sister coughed into his arm.
"Sayu, get back into the apartment this instant!" Pulling his hand out of L's, the panicked teen chased after his little sister as L chased after him, the stairs winding continuously until they hit the floor housing the two siblings. Sayu smiled shyly from the doorway as she looked from Light to L, not sure what to make of their visitor.
"Just get inside!" Ushering his sister inside, Light gave L a sideways look, not sure what to make out of his appearance into his life in such a manner either.
The investigator simply smiled, following the two inside the neat little apartment, already ready for the 20 questions that were about to be thrown his way.
Not that he minded.
Not when it came to Light.
"Uh, Sayu… this… this is a friend of mine. His name is L." Light spoke softly to the young girl staring up at him, giving the other man a timid glance behind lowered lashes. "L, this is my little sister Sayu."
"It's so nice to meet you!" Sayu suddenly grabbed the man's hand and smiled excitedly, her essence the very opposite of her brother's even whilst sick. "Light never brings his friends by to meet us… you must be really special, huh?"
At those words L felt a warm, if very small, grin light up his own tired face.
"I can only hope so."
The three people within the room jumped as an older woman appeared in the hallway just L's right-hand side, the small living-room they were situated in cozy and exuding warmth now that the gray-eyed detective had time to evaluate it.
"Hello, mother." Her cropped hair shook as she laughed at the discomforted expression set over her son's face as he greeted her. "You should be in bed-"
"I'm fine Light. Both you and your sister are simply overprotective." Turning to face her visitor, the laugh-lines smudged next to her eyes giving her a much more genial appearance than her son. "And hello, there; I'm Sachiko, Light's mother. Light, you didn't tell me we would be having company, today!"
Light rolled his eyes, giving his partner a stagnant glare.
'Obviously I wasn't expecting any company as well.'
L kept his grin, which made Light unexpectedly content.
He had to stop.
Sayu giggled as she pulled L into the kitchen, and he fell onto the couch.
He was getting in over his head…
'What are you doing to me, L?'
And when he saw just how well the three of them got along, the warm syrupy feeling that usually curled up within his stomach whenever L did something he constituted as cute tightened until all Light could do was try to gasp for breath.
'What am I doing?'
But he couldn't bring himself to regret it.
His mother laughed at one of L's incredibly corny jokes and his sister giggled as the older man commented on how cute she was and all he could think about was how much he wanted this and… and…
God this was not good.
Light gave his lover a shaky smile before turning over to the battered window beside him and biting his lip.
'So how do you get yourself out of this situation, Yagami?'
Warm hands kneaded his shoulders as a familiar mouth nipped at his earlobe while his mother and sister weren't looking, glancing at the mischievous smile and glowing eyes with trepidation and anxiousness.
"Why don't you come join us, Light?"
"Yeah!" Sayu perked up almost immediately at the suggestion. "Stop being so moody, Light!"
Sachiko nodded her head as she beckoned her soon back into the comfort of the living-room, leaving behind his semi-melancholic thoughts and worries within the dingy kitchen.
He could brood all he wanted later.
For now, he would just enjoy the moment.
He didn't understand why Light was being so affectionate tonight, but he wouldn't question it for once.
There was something almost… melancholic hanging over the student's aura of usual-apathy.
L remembered his last visit with the Yagami's (little by little, Light's world became his, and he didn't even realize it) and with it, all the information he garnered about his little songbird.
Light was indeed a college student who worked part-time to help manage the small apartment he held with his mother and sister. His father, who had been a police officer, had died on duty when Light and Sayu had been young and once the boy had been able to work, he had put his all in making sure that both his mother and his sister had been taken care of to the best of his ability. There was a glitch though; his mother looked as if she wished to tell him something the last time he had spoken to her, her eyes shining with motherly concern.
"L, what are you thinking about?" Light whispered into his ear, not used to being ignored when he was doing everything in his power to gain the other's undivided attention.
"You." L smiled as this earned him another kiss on the cheek, realizing that the only thing that could distract him from Light was, well, Light. "You just keep doing what you were doing…"
Light held back a tiny sob as he nodded, nuzzling the other man's head of hair.
This was the least he could do, after all.
The least he could do…
"I can't see you anymore."
The look on L's face was almost priceless; if not for the fact that the same mixture of anger, despondency, desperation and fear clogged his own heart, he would have laughed at the open gape and twisted gaze.
However, Light was not all that amused.
'This is it…'
This was the end of their twisted relationship.
It had to be.
"It was fun while it lasted… but I can't do this with you anymore. Whatever this is… it's gonna kill us both if we let it get any deeper." Light winced as the older man slowly slid out of the hotel bed, eyes narrowed into slits of burning fury. "Don't look at me like that; I basically told you from the beginning that this wasn't worth getting invested in."
'I'm not worth getting invested in…'
Though the words hung over them silently, neither man refused to acknowledge them; Light out of fear of what admitting such a thing out loud could mean and L from not seeing any speck of truth within them.
"No." L stated clearly, his face clearing of any and all emotion. "No."
Light, though, was not amused.
"Now's not the time for shock, L. It's done. Get over it." Spinning around, Light prepared himself to stomp out of the apartment and cry himself a river once he got him-
"SHIT!" Only to find himself getting personally acquainted with L's door, his arm twisted behind his back and his face shoved into the damn piece of wood. "L, get the Hell off of me!"
"Or you'll do what?" Light didn't have to see the curling scowl on the other man's face to know that it was there; his arm burning with pain as L brought it up higher against his back. "Tell me, what will you do, Light? Deny our relationship ever existed? Turn a blind eye to the pain running up your body and pass out when it becomes too much; because God forbid you should talk about your problems like a normal human being and instead stick to the silent treatment you know so well! Or will you just forget I ever even loved you in some fucked up attempt to make yourself feel better? Damn it, Light, what the fuck is going through that twisted brain of yours?"
"Don't give me that shit, Light! Tell me, why are you so fucking scared to be with me?"
"Because this wasn't supposed to be about love, damn it!" Banging his head against the door, Light felt his arm slowly become numb from the hold. "We don't have a relationship, and I'll be damned if we ever will!"
"This isn't just sex and you know it." L growled into the boy's ear, panting against the back of his lover's neck. "If it was, it wouldn't mean a thing and I can see it your eyes; this is different for the both of us damn it!"
"Let me go, you asshole!"
"No! Not until you admit that you care for me; that all this is, is a damn escape route for something more than a damn 'secret' affair!"
"What does it matter? I'm going to walk out of this door whether I say so or not!"
"Perhaps…" The hold on his arm loosened a bit as L's voice rasped, the regular monotone long gone. "But at least I know I meant something to you if you just say…"
Light felt his breath catch as L's head dropped against his back, falling right in between his shoulder blades. Something wet and warm leaked through the light fabric of his tee-shirt, making him shudder with shame.
This wasn't something he ever thought he would have to live through.
He had never thought…
"This is wrong." The tired brunette murmured woefully, knowing they had both passed the point of no return. "What you feel for me is wrong."
"But what I feel for you-" Light interrupted the man before he could truly become offended, smirking sadly over his shoulder as the hold on him loosened, if slowly "it's worse. I'm no good for you, you know. And… and all I'll end up doing is hurting you without even realizing it. Why would you want to do that to yourself?"
"Weren't you paying attention?" The murmur tickling his neck as the hold around his arm dropped completely, hands carefully wrapping around the fabric of his tee-shirt around his hips. "I can't do this anymore, Light. Just be with me."
Light said nothing as he let himself be turned around and coiled himself into the other's embrace, his eyes stinging with cold tears.
He couldn't give L everything, but this…
Little by little…
Maybe this could finally be enough.
Sighing in disbelief, Light shuddered as the cold air hit his vulnerable face. Yet he persevered; L was counting on him, after all.
This would be the first time that he would be meeting the other man's 'social circle' after weeks of begging and subtle persuading (which wasn't all that subtle, now that Light thought about it).
'Damn. And it only took him almost a good years to get to this point.' Light smirked at his own thought process, shaking his head as he caught sight of the familiar black car that usual came barreling down the street at 80 mph.
Honestly, the brunette wondered how the man had managed to receive his driver's license at times.
Yet he felt something shift in the air; subtle, but still striking. Turning around, Light felt his eyes widen as a familiar bulky figure smirked at him.
A glint of steel-
A sharp shot-
'Never should have-'
A momentary pain-
And all Light felt was the hard impact of his body crashing onto the ground, eyes still wide and fearful.
'Never should have-'
Light felt himself cough unwittingly as he stared at the red liquid pooling over his body, the pain an after-effect to the shock. Hands, cool familiar hands, settled over his hips.
Turning his face, which was undoubtedly stained with the crimson still pouring out of him, Light blinked as those dark-gray eyes pooled with unfamiliar tears.
Reaching up, Light brushed the tears away, leaving a large smudge of red in his wake.
He never wanted to see him cry.
'Never should have… let him so close.'
Darkness enveloped him as the pain spiked and became too much; as the sounds overcame the silence and deafened his ears with noise-
As that image of L crying for him became too much, and all he could do was close his eyes and forget just why it was that he had never said those words that seemed so all-important now.
L was on his last leg.
He had never felt this way before, and quite frankly, he hoped to never feel so again.
'Was this what you were so worried about, Light?'
Staring at the prone figure laying on the hospital bed, L shook his head.
'Of course it was.'
Because only Light would show how much he cared about people through scorn.
"He was in a gang." L repeated, not sure if he could picture the young man most likely sitting on his bed within his room doing his homework in a gang.
But the scars…
The mental lapses…
The emotional insecurities…
Suddenly, everything clicked into place, even as his own mind tried to reject the idea.
Sachiko sighed as she nodded, knowing that for someone who had only saw one side of Raito, it was most likely difficult to even imagine his apparently much more brutal side.
"He did it for me; I know he did. Don't think too badly of him, L. Light was trying to take up the role of provider when he should have been still acting as a child, and in doing so, put himself in with the wrong crowd." Motherly guilt smothered the normally-cheerful woman's expression, alluding to just how muchshe had watched her son suffer in someone else's hands. "He was willing to do whatever it took… to make sure that both Sayu and I lacked nothing. But in doing so, he killed almost every part of himself and made this monster. For three years I watched my son be mutilated, and all I could do was try to heal his wounds. How could I call the police after all; he was my own sonand I know they would have killed him if they thought he had even an inkling of guilt shed over his shoulders. And he would take it if it meant keeping both Sayu and I safe."
"But then I received a promotion at my job, and I was able to sustain all of us without the need of such… activities. Light was hesitant at first, but I managed to persuade him to quit." Sachiko sighed as she put her cup of coffee, hands quaking from past traumas. "They were less than enthused to let him go. He never said anything, but I know he still received threats from some of the more loyal group members. Light was willing to bear the burden…"
"Until what?" L growled out, grabbing the mother's hand in a show of comfort even under the barrage of anger he felt brewing within his chest. "Until he dropped dead? He should have said something."
"You're right." Sachiko easily agreed, knowing that L's rage was neither directed towards herself or Light, but at the circumstances of the situation at hand. "But you know that he'd do whatever it took to protect the one's he loves most, especially if he could prevent it. Even if it meant hurting them, Light is a person who would rather face the possible regret of such actions than watch the people he cared about be hurt in far worse ways."
L slowly let go of the older woman's hand, blinking at the sudden revelation.
'But you know that he'd do whatever it took to protect the one's he loves most, especially if he could prevent it…'
Even hurt them.
This whole time…
'I hear you, Light.'
And from the look on Sachiko's face, she could hear him too.
"I won't say it." Light felt the pale-skinned man freeze as he whispered the statement into his ear, smiling a smile only L would recognize. "I probably won't ever say it."
L tightened his hold on the other man's thin form, hiding his own smile into the crook of Light's naked shoulder.
"But that doesn't mean that I don't feel it."
He traced the newest scar to be added to his companion's collection which lay nestled against his lover's side, and lovingly kissed the stretch of beautiful golden skin laid out before him.
And they both knew that this-
This was enough.