AN/ I have had this running around my head for a while now and had to get it out of there, I won't be updating this everyday like I do with my other story, I will however be updating once a week.
If any of you have read or reading Healing Heart and Lay Your Hands, you know I tend to write al heavy emotion, well this one is a little different, It's a lot lighter then the other two.
I hope you enjoy it, Jen!
I leant over the side of the railings, looking down on to the club below me. It's a normal Friday night, everyone is out to either get laid, get high or get drunk. My eyes scanned the room below me, the same face's doing the same thing, week in week out; it never changes. I was out celebrating Mike's birthday, a friend who was a pain in the ass but a good fuck when the mood took me. A whole group of us were trying to enjoy the night; it made me smile that more than half of the people we were out with were straight, but had chosen to come to a gay nightclub. Alice had said that she liked to come here because gay men dressed well, and she liked a man that dressed well. I tried telling her that the men she was eyeing up had no intention of going near her, so she was, therefore, wasting her time, but it never seemed to go in.
I could hear Mike's drunken words being thrown across the floor towards me, something about him coming home with me. No, it wasn't happening this time. I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him, and I really couldn't be bothered with the whole 'can I stay?' talk, which normally ended up in me forcefully removing him from my flat.
Why were we friends again? Fuck knows, it just sort of happened and we became, or should I say he became a friend with benefits, it only worked one way.
"Mike, there's some queen down there who is begging to be fucked by you." I smirked facing him, watching as he was off his ass and by my side within seconds. Mike could be distracted with ease, then again Mike was easy.
"Who? Him there?" He said pointing away from the guy I was talking about. I followed Mike's gaze, and time stood, fucking still.
My eyes caught sight of his hair and my heart stopped. I would know that hair anywhere, as it could only belong to one person. Jasper. What the fuck was he doing here? All this time and he turns up here now! My night just took a turn for the worse. He turned his head around, almost as if he could feel my gaze on him. He half smiled at me, his eyes showing slight confusion, as if he wasn't sure if it was me or not. Yes, you fucker, it's me. I downed my drink and left the top area walking down the stairs towards where he stood as a half smile fell upon his face. That beautiful face that I once fucking worshipped. Yeah, you cunt ass, I'll wipe that fucking smile right off your face if you're not careful.
As I walked past him my expression didn't change. My dead eyes were staring at him as I casually brushed past him and walked out the door, but, much to my dismay, I could hear him running behind me. Oh you have to be fucking joking, run back in to the fucking sharks, I'm sure you'll have fun with them.
"Edward, wait." His voice cried out in to the night. What? Did he really expect me to wait? Did he think I had just forgotten? Fuck no, I'm not waiting! It may have been ten years ago, but it was still fresh in my fucking mind. After all you never forget your first love, do you?
"Edward, come on, at least let me explain." I heard as I continued towards my car pulling my keys out of my pocket, and hitting the unlock button. Fucking explain? He wanted to explain now, ten fucking years later? I think fucking not, sunshine. I got in my car and floored it out of there passing a distressed looking Jasper as I went.
Once I was a safe distance away I slammed my hand on the wheel. I never thought I would see his face again, never thought that fucking voice would hit my ears again, yet, here it was and there it was; right there in the middle of my life, my fucking happy successful life, messing everything up all over again. No, that door is locked, I've moved on to new brighter pastures, or so I had thought. My car came to a screaming halt outside the building where I lived. Heading towards my flat my heart raced. I wasn't going to think of him, I couldn't think of him, not now, not fucking ever.
Entering my flat my babies ran to me; two fully grown, all black, Staffordshire Bull's. I bent down and fussed with them all the while being assaulted by licks and kisses. I handed them both a crew and watched as they started to play over them. They always wanted what the other one had even when they were exactly the fucking same.
My head was starting to hurt as I wandered in to the kitchen pulling out a glass of water and two pain killers. The tension in my head was making my eyes hurt. I rubbed my temples as my over-active brain went in to overdrive. My mind raced as I made my way in to my bedroom. I needed to sleep, my headache wouldn't go away unless I did, but I knew it was futile because my night's sleep would be full of only one thing.
Blue eyes and curly blonde hair.
Not surprisingly, I was restless all night and finally managed to get in some sleep just before my alarm went off. I wanted to cry, I didn't like mishaps in my life, I didn't like my sleep being fucked up, and I certainly didn't like old flames walking in to my life fucking ten years later. Reluctantly, I groaned and got up. You have work to get to! Okay, technically, I didn't have to be on time as I owned the fucking business, but I didn't like leaving my staff like that. Set by example, is what I went by.
I showered and changed pulling on a white button-down shirt and rolling the sleeves to my elbows, leaving the last few buttons undone just to show off a bit of my nicely tanned, muscular chest. Well, it wasn't really tanned as such, not by some standards, but when you're paler then pale, anything that takes that ultra whiteness off is a blessing.
I pulled on a pair of light blue jeans that just barely hung off my hips and were ripped at the knees. I have to admit I looked fuck-able in these jeans. I loved these jeans, they were so comfy to work in and I always received nice tips off my costumers, even the ones that weren't 'gay'. I ran some product in my hair and headed out the door to work.
My Barber Shop was the busiest in town. I know that a gay man cutting hair couldn't be anymore cliché, but it wasn't being gay that brought me in to the business; I had always had a thing for hair. It was always the first thing I noticed when looking at a guy and figured it was a good business to get in to since it was something for which I had a passion. After I finished high school I travelled the world, taking a number of courses to learn the finer art of my trade. I returned back home five years after I left with a handful of degrees in the art of hair design and a ton of tips and tricks. I had used my inheritance from my grandparents to open up my shop, and now five years later I employed six barbers not including me. My shop also had extra perks including a tanning booth, and a tattoo artist who could pierce anything, and if you wanted to you could have anything waxed. My little business was booming.
As I pulled in to the car park at work I noticed it was a little slow for a Saturday morning, but then again, it was early. I had three girls and two guys cutting hair. Shockingly enough, the guys weren't gay. Paul and Sam had started working here not long after I opened, they met at college while training to do this and openly admitted that they went in to the business because they thought they would get laid more. It hadn't work out that well for them, but they soon found out that was easy money to make and it was a laugh. They both were good barbers and Sam could put some of the weirdest patterns in a kid's hair, needless to say he always had a queue of kids wanting something shaved in to their hair.
Rosalie, one of the girls, was married to my brother Emmett and I had trained her up. When she met my brother she didn't know what she wanted to do, so my wonderful brother put her my way. She gave the guys something to look at as her beauty was out of this world and I often wondered what she saw in my brother. But, don't ever be fooled by her looks. One of the costumers took her nice banter as a come on and decided to lay his hands on her ass as she moved around the chair, a move that ended with him sporting a broken nose. That was the trouble with the job, we worked with the public and therefore had to be nice and chatty. Some people took it the wrong way.
Leah joined next bringing her little brother Seth on Saturdays to help out; he was good at sweeping the floor, making coffee, and getting dinner. Leah was currently dating Sam, something about which I wasn't too pleased. I really was happy for them, but from a business point of view, if it ended badly, I would lose one or perhaps two good barbers. That worried me, as good barbers were hard to come by.
Finally there was Jess, just fresh out of barber school and still learning the tricks. She was getting there slowly. She would get there faster if she stopped talking long enough to actually make a cut since it was apparent she hadn't managed the art of both talking and cutting at the same time.
Jacob was our tattoo artist. He and I had been friends since we were kids. He ended up in my shop wanting to set up a chair, saying it would be good to have a tattooist here. I wasn't sold on the idea at first, but agreed to give it a trial run. Needless to say, it went over well with the customers. After a while, he took a course in sticking bits of metal in to others skin and I had been a test toy for him and decided to get my tongue pierced. It hurt like a bitch, and I couldn't eat anything other than soup for a week and half. A few days after I had it done, I thought about taking it out but then realised how much fun it might be and so I kept it in.
"Morning, Eddie." I heard Rosalie's voice hit me as I walked across the shop floor towards the back. She had a silly shit-eating grin on her face.
"It's Edward, Rose, how many times…" I trailed off knowing it wasn't worth the air to ask. I hated my name being shortened! I headed to the back of the shop where Leah was sitting talking to her brother.
"Someone looks unhappy this morning, what's with the long face?" Rosalie had followed me in to the back leaving the rest working out in the front. My workforce was a happy one, we all had a laugh and we were all the butt end of someone's jokes; it was a friendly place to work.
"Nothing, I just had a bad night, that's all." I flopped down on the chair and ran the ball on my tongue piercing across my teeth.
"Yeah, it sure looks it." Seth passed me my coffee. God, why didn't I just have the kid working here full time?
Just then Jacob appeared at the door looking at me. His face wasn't his usual happy one that was normally seen in the shop. He looked distressed and I couldn't think of a reason why he would. He had been going out with his girlfriend, Bella, for a good few years now. She was lovely, albeit a little overpowering sometimes, but nice nonetheless. There wasn't anything she wouldn't do for you. I wondered if something had happened between the two of them. I was about to ask Jacob what was wrong when he spoke.
"You better come out, Edward. He's here." I closed my eyes. I had a feeling just who 'he' was. Surely he wouldn't have found out where I worked? Admittedly, it wasn't hard to track me down, he would only have to ask around in the club as most of them came in here for one thing or another. Besides, how many barber shops were called Cullen's? I sighed as I got to my feet to head out front.
Sure enough, as I walked out in to the shop there stood Jasper. He hadn't changed much, his hair still the same blonde curls as before, a little longer and in need of a haircut. His body was a little more built since the last time I saw him, but he was basically still the same Jasper he was ten years ago.
"Can I help you?" My tone stayed flat, I wasn't in the mood to be nice to him even if he was a costumer.
"Can I get a haircut?" No, you fucking can't. Fuck off.
"I'll send Rose out." I was just about to turn and walk in to the back to get Rose when he spoke.
"Can you do it?" No, I fucking can't, unless you want a shaved head and a missing ear. Of course, the words that came out were different to that.
"Take a seat." I pointed my hand towards my working chair, and after he sat down I put the protective cover on him. I have never been nervous when it came to cutting hair, but today I could feel my nerves go to pot. I picked up the comb and ran it through his hair causing the memories of running my hands through it to come flooding back. Bastard! I fucking hate you.
"What am I doing?" Do not say 'cutting my hair' or I will floor you.
"Just an inch off, please." I smiled dryly at him and went to work, wetting his hair throughout before pulling up a section and taking it off with my scissors.
"You went in to the business then? I see you're doing well." He was making small talk with me like we were friends. Yeah, not so much, asshole. I stopped cutting and looked at him.
"Just what do you want, Jasper?" The shop had fallen silent, it was like all eyes were on me, on us. Jacob knew all about Jasper, all about the break up, and no doubt he had run around the shop filling everyone in. I snapped my head around and looked at them; they all turned back to what they were doing.
"Can we talk? There are things I really need to tell you… things I need to say." His voice pleaded with me.
"Why don't you write a fucking letter, you're good at those." I spat at him. I saw his face cringe at the remark about the letter. That letter; the one from ten years ago.
"Eddie… not here, please." He whispered. Thoughts of sticking my scissors in to his neck and letting the bastard bleed to death ran through my mind.
"Do not call me that!" I said through gritted teeth.
I finished off the haircut in record time and to be honest I didn't care if it was right or not, I just wanted him out of my chair and out of my fucking shop. Where does he get off? Did he really think I would welcome him back with open arms? Wanker.
"Product?" I snapped at him. He seemed to be to be spaced out, not really here, looking off far way.
"Sorry?" He said shaking his head to get rid of whatever was going on in there. I hope you're picturing my scissors in your neck, you fucker!
"Product?" I asked again through gritted teeth. He shook his head to indicate he didn't want any so I turned him so he could see the back and then promptly got him out my chair.
Jasper paid and left, I didn't answer anymore of his question and refused to even look at him as he left the shop. I could feel the eyes of the people in the shop on me; I fucking hated this place today. I had spent so long working on this place, working on my career, on my life beyond him, and now he walks back in to it and fucks everything up.
"Get back to work." I almost shouted as I walked back across the shop floor to my station getting the next costumer in my chair. The tension soon fell and the shop went in to its normal banter. Today's topic was Leah and Sam, everyone making odd little remarks or jokes about how they would flirt with each other in the shop. The day picked up and soon it was closing time. I sent everyone home and finished off the last few things on my own, I wanted to be alone; my thoughts had drifted back to Jasper all fucking day.
Replacing the protective covers with clean ones I heard the door open and close. I didn't look round as the worst thing you could do was look at them. They would give you the puppy dog eyes wanting a quick haircut. I had had enough today.
"We're closed." I said as I continued what I was doing.
"Maybe you should lock the door then." I heard the click of the lock and froze. Jasper.
I turned round and there he was standing there looking sexy as hell. Fuck! I tried not to imagine him standing there with no clothes on as those thoughts wouldn't help the fucking hard on that was already threatening. Trouble was, I didn't require any effort to picture it; I had seen him naked and those images were readily available in my mind.
"Jasper." I leant against one of the chairs and watched as he slowly made his way towards me.
"I really want to talk to you, Edward. I'm so sorry for how I left." I just stared at him. This isn't happening; this is not fucking happening.
"You left a fucking note! A NOTE, Jasper. You couldn't even tell me you were leaving, that your family was up and moving. Instead you lied to me and broke up with me through a fucking note! Do you have any idea how much that fucking hurt?" I screamed at him as I thought back to the day I found the note.
We were two weeks away from finishing high school. Two more weeks and I would be out of here, travelling the world in order to gain the knowledge I needed. I had just gotten the letter I had been waiting for; the letter that told me I had been accepted in to the training school of my choice. I was over the moon. I ran down the stairs to get my car keys to go to Jasper's. I couldn't wait to tell him. We had been together for over a year, coming out about the same time, though Jasper had preferred to be 'bi' rather than 'gay'. I never once saw him look remotely interested in a girl.
"I'm off to Jasper's!" I called out as I pulled my trainers on.
"Edward, you better come here." My mother's voice called out to me. I groaned, I wanted to go and see him. He had been so off last night, and I wanted to find out what was up with him.
"What?" I snapped. This better not be a time when they want me to do something like clean out my room I thought as I walked in to the kitchen.
"There is a letter for you." I rolled my eyes. Really, you stopped me over a letter? I internally ranted as I picked it up and went to walk out the room. Then, as my eyes cast down on the envelope, I stopped. Jasper's handwriting? What the fuck?
My eyes snapped open and I looked at him and anger raced through me. After ten fucking years he walks back in to my life, walks in to bring past shit up that I would sooner forget about.
"Just leave, Jasper." I said while pinching the bridge of my nose between my thumb and forefinger.
"Edward, I never meant to hurt you, that wasn't what I wanted." I could hear the apologetic tone in his voice. I snorted.
"No, Jasper, you just wanted to leave a note. Get out, Jasper. Go back to wherever the fuck you came from and stay the hell out of my life." I snarled as Jasper just crossed his arms across his chest and sighed.
"I just want to talk, I owe you an explanation." I laughed. You fucking do owe me that, but now is not the fucking time to give it to me. In fact, there isn't a fucking time, not anymore.
"Edward..." He started, but I held up my hand to cut him off.
"Ten fucking years Jasper and you suddenly decide now is the time to give me an explanation? Fuck off! Get out!" I opened the shop door and stared at him. I could see the hurt already forming on his face. I knew his face so well, even after ten years I can still see the same signs I saw back then.
"I should have told you." He whispered as he slowly moved towards the door. I took a deep breath, closed my eyes and rested my head against the door.
"Yeah, you should have, but instead you chose to lie to me and the damage is done. Just go, please Jasper, just go." My voice pleaded with him to leave, to go away. I had moved on, past the hurt and the thought that he couldn't even trust me enough to tell me he was leaving. I didn't want to think about these things, all the unanswered questions. All the times I tried to find him; calling his cell until his number changed just to find out why. Now here he was, ten years later, wanting to give me the answers I had once wanted so badly.
"I'm sorry; please give me a chance to explain." His whispered plea made my heart ache again; all over a-fucking-gain.
"Fine, but not here. You have five minutes." I walked past him, grabbed my keys and turned the lights off. Jasper stepped out the shop waiting for me as I locked up.
I walked past him and towards the coffee shop that was still open. He walked right beside me, a little too close. Although my old feelings for him where there, still after all this time, I couldn't allow myself to make the same mistakes I had made when I was eighteen. My whole outlook on relationships had changed. I never gave too much away, always keeping my relationships an arms length away. Some of the guys I dated could sense my withdrawal and wanted to know why I held back. What could I say? My high school sweetheart broke my heart, which I happily handed to him on a fucking silver platter? That would probably end things right away. Jasper's leaving had taught me one thing; never be open and free to your partner, it hurts too fucking much. Always keep a protective layer around your heart. Well fucking done, Jasper.
I frowned as we walked in to the coffee shop, hating the man that walked with me. He had stolen my heart, I had been so deeply in love with him. I didn't see where I ended and he began. I was stupid; young and stupid. No matter what I tried to tell myself I was always going to be bound to him. My heart would always beat just for him and God how I hated that. I hated the sad pathetic man I had become. This wasn't fair! After all this time, just when I felt as though he was out of my system, he turns up again and shows me that he isn't.
We ordered coffee and sat across from one another. Keeping my cold stare going I looked at his face, seeing the small lines that have now gathered in the corner of his eyes. Yet it somehow only added to his beauty. His skin was now more tanned than it ever was, his lean shoulders standing out as his muscle's fell off from them and cascaded down his chest. Stop it, don't be pulled back in, don't fucking do it. But I couldn't help it. I couldn't help but lean back in the booth and take a look at him; his mouth with the pouty lips that I loved so much, the angle of his jaw line, the way his blue eyes were the deepest blue I had ever seen. They were a dark, almost royal blue; I had fallen in to them, so many times.
He seemed to be looking at me, comparing his past me to the present me. I couldn't have a go at him for that, if that was what he was doing; after all, I was doing the same fucking thing.
I hadn't changed much. I was older, bigger, and not as pale. Of course, there were things that were different, things he wouldn't see; like the nipple ring, or the tattoo that ran from my hips to my pelvis, the tattoo that covered my shoulder running slightly down my arm and over the shoulder blade at the back. These things he couldn't see, to him, I still the looked the same. My mind wondered if Jasper had ever gotten any ink or had any piercings. He didn't seem the type to have any piercings, but ink?... Maybe?
"Jasper, I've got other things to do, so would you like to hurry this up?" I said in a flat tone. The trip down memory lane was fucking ending tonight! As soon as he has said all he wants then, that's it.
"You have to be somewhere?" He asked causing me to really want to floor the fucker right now. What I do in my time has fuck all to do with you.
"That's none of your business, Jasper." I snapped back at him watching the little smirk hit his lips. Don't fucking push me, Jasper.
"You got a date?" I snorted. This better be heading somewhere or you will end up in A&E..
"Again, Jasper, it's none of your business. Get to the point or I'm gone." I crossed my arms over my chest and watched as he took a deep breath.
I watched his chest rise up before falling back down How many times had I looked at that same image? Not that it mattered now, it didn't; our lives were different now. I was different, he was different, and the life I once thought we were going to have disappeared the day I got that fucking letter.
"When did you get that done?" He asked me suddenly. I just stared at him, and I knew he was on about the ball in my tongue but yet again this was another pointless question. "Your tongue piercing, I mean." He smiled simply at me, as I just continued to run the ball across the inside of my teeth. "Okay Edward, I get it." He said. What did you get, Jasper? That I have zero intention of actually listening to you, that I wasn't going to answer your little questions .
I continued to stare at him, wanting nothing more than for him to just give up and go, either that, or I was. This was a bad idea, a really bad idea, bringing up old memories of us, our past, and the heartache of not only being lied to, but also being dumped through a note.
"I never meant to hurt you, Edward. I didn't know what to say, how could I tell you I was leaving?" He sounded a little lost, like this was hard for him. I wanted to laugh at the fucker.
"I don't know if you know this Jasper, but normally people tend to break up with someone through words coming out of their mouth and not some piss ass note." I rubbed my forehead. "I'm done, Jasper. This was a bad idea, please stay the hell away from me, and just forget that we have seen each for the first time in ten years." I stood up and pulled my jacket on. His head was turned towards me, the lost hurt eyes staring right back at me.
"Is.... Is that what you're going to do?" He looked so disconnected, his voice sounded pained. I wasn't going to be pulled in to his little trick. Fuck that! I wasn't eighteen anymore; I didn't fall for this type of act.
"That's exactly what I'm going to do." I turned and left the coffee shop but my whole body wanted to turn and look at him, wanted to go back and sit down and talk to him, try and work this through.
Work this through? What the fuck are you thinking? You don't need Jasper, you don't love him anymore, you're over him, it's all done and dusted. You have accepted the way it ended and you have accepted the fact that you will never get it back. You will never get back what you had, what you felt with him. I tried to tell myself these things, tried to convince myself that this was all true, but I knew I wasn't fooling myself.
I got back to my car and my chest was aching. All the time I spent healing myself from what happened and he shows up and slashes a great big fucking cut through my heart again. We knew each other inside and out, we were friends before we became lovers. I lost my best friend when I got that note, that letter. I sighed as my mind ran through the memory of our first encounter beyond friendship.
Jasper was throwing a party for his eighteenth birthday. His parents had agreed to leave us alone, and Jasper had pleaded with his parents to go, not wanting them to be there to 'cramp his style' as he had put it. He promised that there wouldn't be alcohol, but by the time his parents left everyone had hid it in various places, bringing it out once the coast was clear.
I had come out before Jasper had, figuring out at around fifteen that girls just weren't really doing it and I was thinking of men to get hard. Jasper came to me when he first figured out he was bi, wanting to know how to tell his parents that both sexes turned him on. I laughed at how he was acting, stressing the fact that girls did it for him too. I was convinced he just wanted to soften the blow. In the end, it was worry for no reason as his parents took it well.
I had always thought Jasper was hot, the way his smile gave him dimples when he flashed a sexy grin my way and his lean body was well-defined. I had seen Jasper more than once walking around in just shorts, but that night he just looked fuck-able. I could see the girls eyeing him up as he was grinding into the back of some girl on the living room/dance floor. He caught me staring and flashed me a wink before running his tongue over his bottom lip which instantly went to my dick as I got hard in a heartbeat. He smirked and moved away from the girl and headed out in to the back garden, signalling for me to follow him.
"Liking what you're seeing, Eddie?" He asked as I closed the door and stepped out in to the garden. I smirked, a little drunk and a little cocky.
"Jazz, I almost came there and then." I joked. We had flirted with each other a few times, jokes were always pushed a little further between the two of us.
"How come me and you have never kissed?" He asks turning to look at me, his eyes full of lust. "I mean we came out, we're best friends, yet we never tried to kiss."
I moved in front of him, our chests almost touching. I heard his breathing hitch and I smirked, our faces just inches apart. His breath fanned my face, a mixture of alcohol and Jasper.
"Well..." I licked my lips as his eyes darted to them. "Why don't you kiss me then?" I watched him take a deep breath, his eyes searching my face to see if I was joking. I wasn't, and if he didn't kiss me, I was going to kiss him.
He leaned forward, slowly, carefully. Our lips met, the shock ran through me as my hands went in to his hair pulling him closer to me. My lips, my face, my body felt on fire as I experienced this sudden rush of electric bolts running through me. He sucked my bottom lip and I moaned, trailing my tongue against his top lip, his mouth sucking my tongue in, letting me explore every inch of his mouth. My hands slid down his back towards his ass and squeezed it firmly. Our cocks brushed against one another making us moan with delight. We pulled away breathlessly smiling at one another.
"Wow.... that was..." He trailed trying to catch his breath.
"Amazing." I whispered out as our lips met again.
I shook my head trying to remove the thoughts as I pulled up to my flat. I sat back and sighed cutting the engine off. Nobody had ever compared to Jasper, I never got that same buzz from anyone else as I felt when I kissed him. Everyone else it was just flat, something was missing. Although I tried hard to be happy and carry on, I knew it wasn't right. I knew they weren't the one, the one that was out of my life and was staying there.
Back at home I relaxed and tried to clear my head. I didn't want to go out, I wanted to stay in and wallow in my own self pity. The pity party for one was in full effect as I sulked and slumped my way through a few bottles of beer while flicking through the TV channels.
As soon as my babies curled up on the sofa with me I heard the buzzer go, and I groaned. I wanted to be on my own and internally scowled that this better not be Mike. I stood up, much to the annoyance of the dogs and made my way to the intercom, hitting the button.
"What?" I all but growled out.
"Bro, let's get off the pity train! Let me in. Rose told me." Of course she fucking told you, I'm sure it was the first thing she mentioned when she got in. I buzzed him in and sat myself back down as he walked in through the door.
Emmett and I looked nothing alike. Emmett was three years older than me, built like a brick shit house with dark wavy hair. He was the joker of the family and I wondered what Rose saw in him. I had no idea, but she saw something as they were madly in love with one another.
"So last night when you bailed… you saw Jasper, didn't you?" He asked grabbing a beer from the fridge and sitting down.
"Help yourself why don't you?" I grumbled out. He laughed, his booming voice almost making the windows shake.
"Come on! Rose said he turned up at work today. How are you feeling?" I shrugged, and rested my head back against the sofa. "Bro, it's been ten fucking years." He continued.
"I know. Why now, Em? Everything has come back to the surface. Things I don't want to remember,are there at the front of my mind." My voice was full of sorrow. This wasn't right, I shouldn't have to feel like this.
"Have you spoken to him, other than at the shop?" He asked fussing with one of the dogs that had moved over to him.
"Yeah, he came back after closing. We went for coffee. Fuck, Em! I couldn't take my eyes off him!" I buried my face in my hands and took a few deep breaths to calm myself down. "He tried to tell me how sorry he was for what he did, and how he didn't know what to say." I told him lifting my head to look at him.
"And what did he say?" Em asked as I shook my head. "Ed? Please tell me you listened to him?" I sighed and looked away, I heard Emmett release a deep breath. He looked at me and shook his head.
"Man, I saw you when you two broke up, you should have listened even if it was to get closure on this. I know you miss him and still love him." I snorted. "Don't deny it! If you didn't you wouldn't be sitting here on the pity train heading to pity town." I hate you, Emmett. I fucking hate you.
"So?" Was my not-so-adept reply as I acted more like a sulky teenager then a twenty-eight year old man. Emmett just sighed.
"You're hurt, and so is he. You two were good together. Man, you know I have never had a problem with you being a fag…" I shot him a look. I knew he meant nothing in it, but still… "All right, you being gay, but some of the guys I've seen you with have made me feel sick. None of them were good, or right for you. If you see Jasper again, you need to hear him out, talk to him." Of course, I continued to sulk like a child. I knew he was right, but I didn't want to admit it.
"I'll think about it." I mumbled out necking my beer back.
"Dude, these protective walls you have around you stop you from getting hurt because of what Jasper did, but you need to lower them down to let Jasper say what he needs too." He stood up and headed towards the door. "This could be the chance you so badly wanted. Don't let it pass you by." He opened the door and left.
I sighed and thought about what he said. Could I really sit and listen to Jasper? Talk to him and try and understand just what happened between us? Did I actually want to see him again?
His reappearance had woken up some old feelings and it hurt to look at him. My heart was breaking all over again seeing the man who I loved so much. I was like a lovesick puppy, my mind, thoughts, everything was fuzzy unless it came to Jasper. Maybe I just didn't see the signs that were there all along. Then again, maybe there weren't any signs, and maybe, he did what he thought was best. Either way, I had to find out.
So what did you all think?
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