Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. :(

"As I bring this razor blade to my wrists

I think of how you and her shared true love's first kiss

As I bring this needle to my arm

I think of your warm embrace

but I know it's with her

her, that terrible, horrendous disgrace

as I bring this bottle to my lips

I think of yours on mine

a real true love's first kiss."

I walked off the stage, and through the door of the building, where they held poetry readings, leaving the applause behind. I didn't know what made me write that poem. For me, there was no special someone. Someone that I loved, irrevocably. Unconditionally. Sometimes poems, just came to me. Like True Love's First Kiss, the one I had just shared with the other poets, and poetry lovers. That had came to me while I was in the shower, of all places. I did understand why I had written it to begin with, to an extent. Because I could, some what, relate to it. "As I bring this razor blade to my wrists." I got that. I was what most people would say, emo. Short for emotional, and I was. I was a very emotional person. I dressed in all black. The color of sorrow. Sorrow that I always felt. I cut my wrists. I did it to symbolize my pain. I did for me to feel, physical pain along with the emotional pain. I wasn't always like this. I used to be a happy go lucky normal girl. A girl that wore pink skirts and dresses. A girl that wished she was a princess, in some fairy tale. Then my mother and father died in a car accident. Something so normal, something that happens every day, something like that can effect a person beyond belief. Of course, I got sent to an orphanage. And one night, I ran away. I ran, and ran until I couldn't run anymore. I would stop at some random person's house, make up some ridiculous story, begging if I could stay for just one night. Then I would be on my way, to start the process, all over again. It was a terrible way to live, but one gets used to it. I mean, when you think about it, I have a roof over my head, food to eat, a place to sleep, somewhere to wash up. But I didn't have anyone to love, no one to call just to hear there voice. Nobody to dream of marrying, and having kids with, like a normal seventeen year old girl would surely do. Instead, I was some thief. I had to steal from stores, for my necessities. Clothing. Toothbrush. Occasionally, hair dye once my black hair had faded back to brown. So, technically, I was a disgrace. Just like I had written about, I had absolutely no room to talk. I was such a hypocrite. I truly hate myself. I hate myself enough to inflict pain on myself. What was wrong with me? Everything. I was useless. Sometimes, I even had suicidal thoughts. What wrong would it do the world if I was gone? What trouble would it cause? None. I had no family. No parents, no aunts or uncles, grandparents. I had no one. So why shouldn't I commit suicide? Because I was scared. Because I didn't know what to expect after it was over and done with. Surely I would go to hell, if I were to die. If there was a life after death after all. I hoped there wasn't. Even if I were to go to heaven, I would much rather, just cease to exist.

I was walking along a road, I had been for about five minutes after I had left the poetry reading. I was exhausted. I decided to stop, I stopped at a large house with expensive looking cars in the drive way. These people were rich, I had learned in the time that I have been on my own, that usually, not always but usually, the more rich you were the less generous you were. I hope these people were an exception. I approached the door and rang the doorbell, not long after a very beautiful woman in her late twenties answered the door. She had caramel colored hair, a heart-shaped face with dimples as she smiled warmly at me. She had a petite figure, she was slender yet round and soft. She had gorgeous light brown eyes, that looked at me curiously.

"Hello dear, are you here for Alice?" she asked me kindly.

I smiled at her the best I could, "No, actually, my name is Bella, and I don't mean to be rude or anything, but I have no where to stay tonight, so if you could be so kind could I please stay with you for just one night? Please?"

"Oh, why of course dear! Please, do come in! Yes, yes, let's get you in some warm clothes, it's absolutely freezing out there. Oh, where are my manners? I'm Esme Cullen. Oh, let me round up the kids, so I can introduce you to the family! Do hold on dear, just have a seat on the couch and I'll be right back," she said, and she went off to go find her family.

Esme might just be the nicest person I've stayed with so far. Such, a nice woman. I wondered how many kids she has. Esme walked back in the living room with a blonde man her age.

"Carlisle, this is Bella...," she trailed off looking at me, obviously noticing that she didn't yet know my last name.

"Swan," I told her.

"Swan, yes, this is Bella Swan," Esme told the man, I'm assuming was called Carlisle.

"Hello Bella, I'm Carlisle Cullen, Esme's husband," he greeted me.

"Hi," I said in my quiet voice. "Thank you so much for letting me stay here for the night, it's really, greatly appreciated."

"Oh, it's no problem at all," Esme said. I hear foot steps coming from the stairs.

"Here are our children," Carlisle told me.

Five children filed in to the large room. They must be adopted, because they were all about my age, and Carlisle and Esme were in there late twenties.

The first person I looked at individually was a girl.

Carlisle nodded his head at her beckoning her to introduce herself to me, she held back, so Esme stepped in. She pointed to the girl and said, "This is Alice Cullen, the first of our daughters."

Alice was beautiful, just like her parents. She had, small, sharp, pixie-like features and spiky black hair, that framed her small face like a halo. She was very thin, and very short.

Esme pointed to another girl, and said, "This is Rosalie Hale, we adopted her and her twin brother, Jasper most recently."

Rosalie was definitely the most gorgeous girl I have ever seen in my life. She was tall, statuesque, and had long wavy blonde hair, she had eyes the color of violets. Jasper, her twin, also had blonde hair. He had very defined features, and when you saw him you felt calm, like you could share your innermost secrets with him.

"This is Emmett," said Esme, pointing to a handsome boy. He was very muscular, he had dark curly brown hair, that was cut quite short.

"And this is Edward," she said pointing to the last of the children. Edward was with out the shadow of a doubt, the most gorgeous person alive. He had the oddest color of hair. It was bronze, not quite red or brown. He had perfect features, a strong jaw, perfectly shaped nose, high cheekbones. And his eyes. Don't even get me started on his eyes. They were emerald green, and it felt as if they went on for miles. I was already lost in them, swimming in his green depths. I could look at him for centuries, and never get bored. Esme pulled me away from my train of thought.

"Kids, this is Bella Swan, me and Bella are going to go upstairs and then she's gonna come down so you guys can get to know each other, okay?" she said. Then Esme grabbed me my the hand, and pulled me upstairs. She led me down a hall, and stopped at a door, "Let's get you some pajamas we're just about to order pizza, so you can just be comfortable and talk to the kids and such. Honey, if you don't mind me asking, why don't you have some place to stay?"

I knew that I always made something up, but the Cullen's were definitely the nicest family I have ever stayed with, and I trusted them. So I decided to tell her the truth.

"A few years ago, my parents died in a car accident. I got sent to an orphanage and I ran away. I couldn't stand it there. I stop at someone's house, ask if I can stay. I lie to them mostly. Its really tragic when you think about it. I have to steal from stores, I always promised myself that when I'm an adult with a job, and a home. I will pay everybody back, every store I stole from, I just don't now when that can happen, it's really hard to do this, and I just c-can't believe that anyone w-would b-be nice enough t-to let m-me in there home," I said, by the end I had broken down crying.

"Oh, sweetie, oh I'm so sorry!" Esme exclaimed, as she ran over to engulf me in a hug.

"It's ok-kay," I assured her.

"Are you sure?"

I nodded. She handed me the pajamas, they were blue, but I didn't complain.

"Esme, where's the bathroom?" I asked, so I could slip into the warm nightwear.

"It's just across the hall, Bella," she directed me.

"Thanks," I said, then set off for the bathroom. I opened the door, used the restroom, and changed into the pajamas. I walked out, and went downstairs, all the Cullen's were down there except Esme and Carlisle.

"Hi," I said.

They all said, "hi," back, except Edward, he said, "Hello," which made him stand out and I could here his voice better, it fit him nicely. It sounded like velvet, very smooth like he had been gurgling a bowl of melted chocolate.

"So, um, tell me about yourselves," I said.

I found out a lot, I found out that Alice was pretty much addicted to shopping, and that Rosalie frequently sent in photos to modeling agencies. And that Jasper one day hoped to be a therapist. And that Emmett went to the gym for five hours every day. And that Edward loved music. He had an absolute passion for it. He plays the guitar, and the piano. He's the sweetest person I've ever met.

And I found out that since none of them are really related except for Jasper and Rosalie, they go out. Jasper and Alice, and Rosalie and Emmett, are in stable relationships. It was really kind of sad the way Edward was alone. I don't think he does much but play music.

"I'd love to hear you play, Edward," I told him.

"Well then, how about this? After dinner, I take you up to my room and play for you," he suggested.

"Okay," I said agreeing, eagerly.

We all talked some more, and we all learned a little bit more about ourselves. Carlisle came in and told us that the food was here, a short while later.

There was cheese pizza, and pepperoni pizza. I went with cheese. We talked at the dinner table, and I felt as if this was the best night I've had in a long time. After dinner was over, I walked up to Edward, and told him, like we were in a different era, "I do believe, you owe me a song, kind sir."

"And you shall get it, ma'lady," he said playing along. He led me up to his room and held the door open for me. He grabbed his guitar and sat down on the bed, he patted the spot next to him. I took a seat beside him. And he started to play.

"Little girl, little girl
Why are you crying?
Inside your restless soul
Your heart is dying

Little one, little one
Your soul is purging
Of love and razor blades
Your blood is surging

From the river to the street
And find yourself with your face in the gutter
You're a stray for the salvation army
There is no place like home
When you got no place to go

Little girl, little girl
Your life is calling
The charlatans and saints
Of your abandon

Little one, little one
The sky is falling
Your lifeboat of deception
Is now sailing

In the wake all the way
No rhyme or reason
Your bloodshot eyes
Will show your heart of treason

Little girl, little girl
You dirty liar
You're just a junkie
Preaching to the choir

From the river to the street
And find yourself with your face in the gutter
You're a stray for the salvation army
There is no place like home
When you got no place to go

The traces of blood
Always follow you home
Like the mascara tears
From your getaway
You're walking with blisters
And running with shears
So unholy
Sister of grace

From the river to the street
And Find yourself with your face in the gutter
You're a stray from the salvation army
There is no place like home,

"You're wonderful, Edward," I complimented him, truthfully.

"Nah, I'm okay," he said.

"Psh, whatever, you're great. That was Viva La Gloria (Little Girl) by Green Day, right?" I asked him.

"Well, well, well, someone knows there music," he said.

"Well, I know Green Day, there the best," I said.


I laughed. I was surprised, I don't remember laughing a real laugh, since my parents were alive. And right now in this moment, I felt whole, like nothing could hurt me. Like there was no sorrow, no pain, emotional or physical. Either it was these blue pajamas, or I really liked this boy.

AN, Haha, I loved that ending right there! Haha, okay reviews make me update faster! So, I would review if I were you! Haha, I'm liking this emo Bella aren't you? Yeah, well, oh! I don't own that song, but I do own that poem at the beginning. I thought of it in the shower of all places :) Haha, review please!


P.S. I love you.