Title: Pretty Boy Walking
Author: ice
Genre: Humor
Rating: PG
Pairings: AtoJi, Dirty Pair, hints of SanaYuki and Silver
Warnings: Attempted crack.
Summary: What happens when one of the inspectors for the board of directors for the sport of tennis sees one too many 'brilliant' moves? Modeling Chaos.


Disclaimer: ....If I owned this series, there would be official rajipuri, anipuri, tenimyu, fanbooks, doujinshi, art, anime episodes, etc etc etc dedicated to showing AtoJi...a couple of rated R ones or higher would also be nice. *cough*


Inspired by the sight of Atobe walking like a model onto and off the courts in chapters 10 and 11 of Shin Tenipuri.


"WHOA!!"

"Wait, what?"

"We have to do WHAT?!"

"Saa...sounds interesting..."

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!"

"Mada mada dane..."

"Are you sure this will work...?"

"Ii data."

"....Ryuzaki-sensei. Are we seriously required to do this."

The old female coach gave a deep sigh. "I don't know what's going through their heads, but yeah, it's official. All teams selected must participate or risk their club's existence."

"And we were one of those selected?" Inui adjusted his glasses as he scribbled in his notebook.

"Unfortunately, yes." Ryuzaki gave them a look. "It's your faults anyways."

"Huh? How is it our fault?" Momoshiro looked confused.

"Fssssssh..."

"You people and your damned flashy moves. You somehow gave the inspector the idea that all the tennis teams in this region were qualified for this type of thing!"

"....so she went through all the teams in this region and selected the top three...?" Oishi hesitantly asked.

Ryuzaki nodded in confirmation. "She and some board or another from the company that helps fund the tournaments and schools held a conference and selected the teams they thought would do good...based on appearances and a short description of your personalities from what she saw when you interacted with your teammates. You are being notified right now because we will be leaving for the studio in an hour."

"Nyaa....but WHY modeling?!?!!"



"When the hell did they have the time to advertise this anyways!?!?! Mukahi shouted as he and his teammates sat around in the sitting room. They were the first team there.

"You knew about this, didn't you, Atobe." Oshitari off-handedly asked as he leaned against the wall with his arms crossed.

"Of course Ore-sama knew about this contest." Atobe scoffed as he sat on the sofa with his legs crossed. Kabaji stood next to him, silent as always, as Jirou napped laying down on the sofa with his head pillowed on Atobe's lap. Atobe had long since given up trying to remove the blond, seeing as the blond persistently refused to move and instead, clung to him at every attempt.

"You knew about this and never TOLD us?!?!" Mukahi turned around and raged at Atobe.

"Ore-sama is not required to tell a simpleton anything."

"What did you call me?!"

"I said..."

"Okay, that's enough. Calm down, Gakuto." Oshitari wrapped his arms around Mukahi, effectively trapping the red-head and preventing him from throwing himself at and attacking their captain.

"Atobe-san, what exactly are we going to be doing...?" Ohtori asked quietly.

"Modeling." Atobe shrugged. "They want each team to walk down the stage to see how natural they are at modeling. Attendees are the board and the inspector and any who were willing to pay the ridiculous fee to get in."

"Then how the hell is our entire club out there?!" Shishido asked incredulously as he entered the room.

"Tennis club members from each of the selected schools were given free passes."

Just then, the door creaked open.

"Ch'. Of course Monkey King would be here."

Atobe gritted his teeth and glared at the boy. "Brat."

"Seems Hyoutei is here, too." Fuji mused as Seigaku entered the sitting room.

"Puri." A bubble popped.

"I see Rikkaidai is also here." Oshitari commented dryly as he watched the two other teams fill in the room.

"Did everyone also get the notice and threat last minute?" Yukimura asked. Heads nodded around the room.

"Hmph. Atobe knew, but didn't say shit about it." Mukahi scowled.

"Oh? One might think you had arranged this entire contest." Yukimura raised an eyebrow at the Hyoutei captain.

Atobe gave him an even stare. "Contrary to your beliefs, Ore-sama does have better things to do than waste time allowing these commoners to bask in his glory."

"Ch'. Like what." Echizen muttered.

"You just want to stay in bed with-mmph!!" Mukahi was cut off as Oshitari put a hand over his mouth.

"You do not want him giving us several hundred laps tomorrow." The blue-haired teen hissed. Mukahi huffed as he was released, ignoring the inquiring stares from around the room.

"Is everyone here~?" A female voice sang at the doorway. Many turned and glared at the woman. "Oh, don't be like that. We'll supply you with equipment if you do good."

Atobe turned away with his nose in the air and told her, "Ore-sama can supply his TEAM with equipment himself instead of wasting time here."

She glared at him. "Just do what we tell you and get over it!" She growled at all the tennis players.

Momo flinched and lowly said, "Geez."

"Now, who wants to go first?" She smiled sweetly before her expression turned dark. "I said, WHO WANTS TO GO FIRST?" She bellowed.

Kirihara yelped and hid behind Yukimura, who just patted his head. He looked at the other two captains--Atobe who was ignoring the woman and still facing the other way, and Tezuka who stood like a rock statue--and sighed. "We'll go first."

"Thank you." Then she turned to the other two and said, "You, glasses boy, your team's next. Then Mr. Narcissist over there."

Atobe snapped his head around and glared at her. "How dare you-" He cut himself off suddenly as the boy on his lap shifted slightly. He growled. "Hmph!" He turned away again. She raised an eyebrow at him before dismissing him. She turned to the Rikkai team, looking them over, before looking disgusted. "Who the hell chose your uniforms?! Go dress normally! Dressing room's through that door down the hall. Now, go!" She shooed them out of the room.

Then she took a look around the rest of the room. She frowned. "They're not as atrocious as that mustard yellow, but they still won't do. There's two other dressing rooms further down the hall. Choose something and go get ready."


"Alright." The woman clapped her hands and looked over the Rikkaidai regulars. "Okay, just walk onto the stage, do a little modeling, and then you can step off and sit at those seats marked off in the front row where that big guy's sitting."

Yukimura nodded at her before turning to his team. "So who's going first?" He smiled at them. Marui and Kirihara backed off as the other players stood still. "Hmm...since Marui and Akaya-kun both seem to want to go so much, how about they go first." Yukimura continued to smile at them. "C'mon. The crowd won't bite. We'll be out there soon enough, too."

"Buchou~!!" Kirihara whined.

"Nuh-uh. I'm not going out there."

Yanagi stepped up behind them. "I'll go first."

Yukimura raised an eyebrow. "Oh?"

"I have no problems with going first. I can watch everyone else come out in that case. Everyone." He nodded at Sanada. Marui and Kirihara then understood.

"Okay, Buchou! We'll go next!" They both started grinning. They definitely wanted to see their fukubuchou out there.

"How nice of you two." Yukimura commented.

And so, the show started.


While Rikkai had their own cheering section, made up of their own tennis club, they didn't quite know what to think when Yanagi started walking straight on stage with his usual emotionless expression...and continued to walk straight. He looked more like a smoothly floating robotic human than anything. Their cheers died off by the time he made it off the stage at the stairs at the front of said stage.

Then Marui walked onto stage, still blowing his bubblegum, wearing a baggy black sweatjacket and jeans, hand in his pockets. He completely ignored the crowd and casually walked to the end of stage before hopping off.

Kirihara had to be shoved out onto stage, stumbling out into view, and nervously wringing his hands in front of his baggy sweatjacket and white shorts. He looked around at the crowd before starting to nervously walk out. He made it about three yards before breaking into a run and dashing down the stage, down the stairs, and into his seat, sitting still, hands clenched onto the sides of the seat.

"Geez, you didn't have to run like the hounds of hell were after you, Akaya."

"Shut up, Marui-senpai." Kirihara scowled and pouted.

Then Yagyuu walked out onto stage, being the usual gentleman he is and waving occasionally, taking off a pretend hat every now and then. He was dressed in his usual white dress shirt and black slacks. Marui wondered how he managed to pull that ensemble out of the rack they were handed. He didn't recall any formal clothing.

Niou made a show out of his appearance, strutting down the stage exaggeratedly, blowing kisses to the crowd the whole way. Only, when he reached the end of the stage, he stopped at the corner and raised his hand to his hair, and pulled. Revealing Yagyuu instead.

"Holy shit, you two are still doing that?!" Marui's jaw dropped. Kirihara followed. Niou, now revealed as the one who had been sitting with them, winked.

"Why not? It's not like we don't keep a spare set of each other's clothing with us all the time." He drawled. So that was where the blue dress shirt and other pair of slacks came from.

Marui partner Jackal walked out next, walking straight to the edge of the stage and bowing before he got off.

"Hey, how'd you get your clothes back?" Kirihara suddenly asked Jackal.

Jackal shrugged. "I never left them behind."

"Oh."

"Think Sanada is next?" Marui whispered to the second year.

"Most likely." A look of glee entered the boy's eyes.

"C'mon, the rest of your team went out. It's your turn." They could practically hear the 'whisper' from their seats. Then the voice sounded louder. "That's it. Go! and WALK." Yukimura's voice called. "I'm watching you, and you'd better try, damnit!" He looked pissed off.

They watched Sanada gulp as Yukimura indicated he put his hand on his hip and tilt his head up before copying said instructions and attempting to strut down the stage like a model, the cheers from their club quickly turned into snickers at watching their fukubuchou obeying their captain.

"Oh god," Niou gasped for breath as he laughed. Marui and Kirihara were not in much better condition as Jackal shook his head. Yanagi and the second half of Rikkai's prized doubles pair snickered quietly.

Sanada quickly got to his seat and sat down, face red, pulling his cap over his face. His teammates continued to snicker at him.

"Well, at least Yukimura didn't make you wear that purple lace shirt." Niou snickered. Sanada looked horrified at the thought and was about to comment when he was interrupted by the cheers form the crowd as Yukimura walked onto stage.

Yukimura practically glided down the stage amongst the cheers, being his usual self. When he reached them, he stood in front of Sanada and pulled of his cap. "Oh, don't be embarrassed. I thought you looked cute out there trying to do well for me." He smiled as Sanada turned a deeper red. They then turned back to the stage as Seigaku prepared to enter.

It seemed that Seigaku had the same idea as their Yanagi for Inui was the first to walk onto stage. He somehow got a hold of a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt, however, and walked down the stage with his had buried in his notebook and scribbling still, even as his glasses glinted maniacally.

"CUT! TRY at least, people!" The woman from earlier yelled at them.

Then Momo strutted down the stage in a white shirt, plaid blue dress shirt, and jeans, being his normal extrovert self, waving to the crowd. Kaidoh followed behind in a sleeveless shirt and white shorts, glaring and hissing at the crowd as he shuffled down the stage with shoulders hunched.

The woman shouted at him. "BACK STRAIGHT! And stop glaring!" She glared at him as he gulped and began to attempt to imitate Momo's confident strut, only to look like a cobra and Egyptian mix with his head and body moving forward and backwards at different times.

Their school could only shake their heads and ask why couldn't they have created that rule AFTER Seigaku was done with? Rikkaidai certainly didn't have to deal with it.

Oishi was next as he walked down the stage as if he was still in school, greeting everyone nicely. Even what he was wearing resembled the school uniform. The woman tried to get him to be more confident and stride forward instead of taking normal steps. She succeeded in making him walk like some kind of clown as he tried to take bigger steps and looked awkward.

Kikumaru looked nervous as he entered the stage. He didn't really know what to do...nya...he walked down the stage, a little huddled towards himself at first, fists clenched in his dark blue sweatjacket, until the lady yelled at him and he stiffened up, looking like a robotic humanoid cat as his limbs moved in unison.

Then Kawamura nervously walked onto stage. He didn't move and stood there looking nervous until a hand moved out behind the curtain and handed him a tennis racket, at which he shouted "BURNING!!!!!!!" as he charged down the stage. When he reached the end of the stage, he stopped and posed in the macho-man pose several times before Kikumaru plucked the racket out of his hand and he blushed as he sat down.

Then Echizen stepped out in a polo shirt and dark shorts. "Ch'. Mada mada dane." He muttered as he rolled his eyes before starting to walk. When the woman yelled at him, he only stuck his nose in the air and continued to walk, completely ignoring her. Funnily enough, unknown to him since he was just happy the woman stopped ranting at him, he resembled a certain king he so often insulted.

Fuji then stepped out from behind the curtains, wearing tight white jeans and a skin-tight baby blue long-sleeved shirt. The crowd cheered--"Fuji-senpai!!!"--when they saw him, as he professionally modeled the clothes off, enjoying himself.

When he got to his seat, Kikumaru leaned over and asked him how he knew how to do that.

"I used to have to play dress-up with Nee-san. She taught me how to model clothes. Of course, I tried teaching Yuuta, but he wouldn't let me...mou..." he pouted.

Then the crowd fell silent. Tezuka had come out. While he did have a perfect confident stride, unfortunately for him, that was all he did. He held an emotionless expression the entire time and looked like a man on a mission--a mission to reach the end of the stage as quickly as possible and to his seat. He also completely ignored the woman shouting at him, much to her frustration.

Hyoutei was next, but they didn't have as much of a delay. The first person who had stepped out was Taki, who walked down the stage swaying his hips from side to side like a girl, one hand on his hip and the other held behind him, modeling off his flower-patterned tight jeans and pink shirt. He looked....a little too comfortable in those clothes for comfort. He even flicked his hair back with a jerk of his head several times.

"...Oishi...I'm scared...nya..."

The next person out was Hiyoshi, the self-proclaimed successor to the Hyoutei captaincy. Unfortunately for him, while he had worn form-fitting black slacks and a nice black dress-shirt, he had tried to copy Atobe's style of walking. And failed. If anything, he looked more like a cross between a stereotypical exaggerated homosexual and a waddling duck.

The woman off-stage stared at him horrified. She had wanted them to try to model, but she didn't think it would be possible to look that....bad....

Ohtori came out next in blue jeans and a black shirt with a buttoned overcoat, walking gracefully and giving off an innocent air, rather than the confident one preferred. The inspector felt relieved though. At least he didn't try atrociously like the other one did.

Then Shishido came out, still wearing his trademark blue cap. His baggy blue camouflage pants and beige overshirt on white made him look fashionable, to many of the audience's surprise. Except, he practically trudged down the stage until his doubles partner cheered for him and encouraged him. Then he gave an awkward half smile and began to stride down the stage confidently, much like his arrogant self before he had been kicked off the regulars. The inspector looked watched them consideringly as Shishido and Ohtori gave each other high fives and sat down for the rest of the show.

Oshitari was next and appeared in a pair of tight jeans and a dark blue vest matching his hair. He treated the stage as if it was the school hallway, which for all any of the other schools knew, was probably true. He turned in a circle when he reached the end of the stage and posed a few times before stepping off.

"Hmm..it seems this school knows what to do..." The woman mused.

Unfortunately for her, Mukahi was next, and despite his fashionable outfit, an ensemble fit to be placed on the trendy market, he stomped down the stage angrily, pouting the entire way, and completely ignoring her calls for him to walk properly. He reached his seat, stood in front of Oshitari and made to slap him but the blue-haired teen caught his wrist and pulled him onto his lap, wrapping his arms around him and keeping the red-head there. Mukahi struggled to no avail. The woman raised an eyebrow before returning her gaze to the stage.

She flinched in shock when ear-splitting screams from the crowd erupted. She looked up at the stage to see what exactly they were screaming about and saw a short, petite boy--similar in size to that red-head who had just sat down--standing there, yawning and rubbing an eye with a fist. He stared around sleepily before his eyes gained a confused and slightly more wake look. His clothes only made him look more like a sleepy child, what with his long, long uneven scarf, baggy sweatjacket and long, baggy capris.

"Ara?" The question came out in a soft tone as he looked over at where his teammates sat. The woman noticed the graceful silver-haired boy waving at him, gesturing for the blond to come over, and looked back at said blond to notice him slowly making his way towards his team. She didn't quite blame him for his hesitancy, those shrieks from the crowd would scare anyone.

Finally, Shishido gave up on waiting for his partner to coax the blond to come to them and stood up and shouted, "C'mon already! You can't see Atobe until you get to your seat!"

The blond visibly perked up. "Eh?"

"He's still back there, REMEMBER?"

The blond started bouncing. "Oh yeah!" He dashed down the rest of the stage to his seat and quickly sat down, immediately paying careful attention to the stage. The woman almost slapped herself. The boy had potential--he had a particularly nice sway, but he had cut himself off too soon for her to confirm it.

Then, the woman had to clasp her hands over her ears. If the cheers for the blond were bad, this was maddening. Even the Seigaku and Rikkai players had to cover their ears.

"OWW!!!" Kirihara screamed.

"Maa...I should've expected this.." Yukimura commented.

"Nya..." Kikumaru whimpered.

"...." Tezuka bravely, or perhaps stupidly, somehow kept a neutral expression on his face.

"DAMN YOU, ATOBE!!" Shishido shouted. His ears were still pounding.

Atobe had shown himself. In tight leather pants and a very flattering violet, silk dress shirt. He confidently walked down the stage as if he were a professional model who had modeled for years, one hand on his hip, the other moving naturally with his gait. When he reached the end of the stage, he regally held both hands out to the sides, palms up, and walked in a circle as close to the edge as possible, basking in the attention of his adoring fans.

"Ch'. Drama queen."

"But Shishido-san, I thought you were the drama queen."

The boy in question flushed.

Atobe continued modeling and posing on the stage as flashes and clicks from cameras snapped. The inspector stared in shock at the teen, why was a professional model playing TENNIS or all things?!

"While Ore-sama thanks you for your compliment, Ore-sama is not a professional model." Atobe stared down at the woman with an amused look on his face. She flushed as she realized she had said that aloud.

"Damn straight." Mukahi muttered.

"Well, you do have to admit he'd fit right in with them with no problems at all, right?" Oshitari remarked.

"So?"

"Sugee!!" Their resident blond had jumped up out of his seat and was now bouncing on the ground near the stairs as Atobe stepped off the stage. "You looked so cool out there!" Jirou grinned happily.

"Seems your fanboy's left you." Jackal muttered to Marui.

Marui shrugged. "Good riddance. Fukubuchou keeps giving me extra laps whenever that Hyoutei kid shows up."

They watched as Atobe sat down with the blond still bouncing and clinging to the taller teen.

"Funny how Atobe lets the kid touch him, isn't it." Marui remarked.

And indeed, even in their seats, Jirou was clinging to Atobe's arm closest to him still.

Then the inspector who had dragged them all into this particular fiasco stepped onto the stage and announced, "That concludes our contest for today. We will send out results next week. Thank you for coming and please exit the building calmly."

"Hmph. Finally." Atobe sniffed. He raised his arm and snapped, bringing his entire club to attention, and the section where the Hyoutei club was parted an aisle for him. He exited along with the other regulars, as Seigaku and Rikkai stared at Atobe in various states of amusement and disbelief.

"How do you put up with a captain like him?!" Momo shook his head.

Shishido, who had been passing by at the time, shrugged and said, "We don't. But he gets the job done." He continued walking, following the line of Hyoutei regulars following Atobe out of the building.

Members of the other two schools could only shake their heads. Hyoutei was weird.

Which was only reinforced when they heard the Hyoutei chant rise up once more...this time, not on a tennis court.


~~Omake~~

Atobe stared down at the blond boy lying on his stomach on his couch. "Jirou, why did you stop Ore-sama in that sitting room? Ore-sama could have gotten us out of there."

"Mmm?" Jirou looked up at Atobe lazily. Oh. He recalled rubbing a certain something that had been close to his face when his head had been pillowed on Atobe's lap. "Ohh...that."

"She called Ore-sama a narcissist!"

"...but aren't you, Keigo?" Jirou smiled at his captain.

"......" Atobe stared at his Singles 2 player indignantly.

"...in any case, I wanted to see you model off those leather pants. Mmm...you looked hot in them." Jirou told the taller boy, eyes still half-lidded.

Atobe stared at the blond in shock. THAT was why?! "How did you even know there would be a pair of leather pants in there?!" He sputtered.

"Oh. I asked that lady for a pair. Told her it was for a good cause." A light giggle sounded in the quiet room.

"...WHAT?!"


Didn't turn out as cracky as I thought it would have...oh wells...=/...

I hope everyone liked it. Please leave a comment or review!