Entry one - Life before the possibility

~~~ My name is Shouta. Yeah I know this is a lame way to start a journal but what else can I write in here? I've always wanted a journal, and I finally got it for my 12th birthday. But now...I have no idea what to write in it. My parents did say that this was a boring present and they thought that I would change my mind. But I didn't. So they bought me one. The most beautiful and cleanest one they could find. I told them not to look for something so grand; I mean an ordinary one could have been enough. But of course they didn't listen. And now here I am...writing in this beautiful and really, really clean journal.

It's nighttime now. And it's almost time to sleep. Some of you may think it's crazy but my parents insist on me sleeping at 8:30pm. It's really early compared to many normal kids in town. At least, that's what I heard. I never really got the chance to talk to other people. You could call me a sheltered child. Besides, that's really common in a rich kid's life is it not? Yeah, my parents are loaded. I could confidently claim to anyone that they're the richest people in the country! And I, am their only son. The kid that everyone considers lucky, being home-schooled, getting anything you want, parents that somehow never scold you and spoil you too, what else would any normal kid want? But...for me, they're the lucky ones.

I'm never allowed to go outside the house. Ever. I need permission from my parents just to go outside the garden at times. Normally they shook their heads. So at times when they go out for almost the whole day, I ask my butler to let me go out. And he always does. This is why I like him a lot. At least he lets me have a little more freedom than my parents. Plus, he never tells them either about it. That's why I was really sad when they found out about it.

Apparently there was one time when my parents came earlier than expected. And to their horror, they saw me playing nearby the flowers, with my butler beside me. They didn't get mad at me. Instead, they fired my butler. And after that I never saw him again. I think the whole mansion became quieter after he left. But not to my surprise my parents didn't really care. I really miss him. And I think he misses me too. He's been with me ever since I was a baby. And he looked really sad when he was by the gate...come to think of it, when they opened it and I was alone because nobody wanted to say goodbye to him besides myself that was the first time I saw the outside world up close. It felt...for some strange reason, terrible. Like a very horrible atmosphere was shrouding around the place. And I saw my butler, whom I actually really loved a lot, go in there. I was silent after that. Whenever I was alone in the room, I would cry to myself at times because I never got over it. He felt like a real guardian to me...maybe close enough to be my father. Now...he's gone into that...place. The outside world looked so cruel. It was cruel to everyone I think. But how should I know? I've never been there all my life. And probably, never will.

Oh. Wait a sec. My maid is here to check on me...

*Sigh*...Alright then where was I...wow, I never knew I could get so attached to this small book. I could write anything in here! But if my parents ever read this....*gulp* Better not to think about it. They always say that 'this is the best for you' or something like that. It's just an excuse...for me anyway. I feel like it's more of torture. If only...I could actually escape....

Wait. Maybe I can. I could...I...would. That thought...I can't believe it never occurred to me before. I wonder why? Is it because I was too afraid of the consequences? Or maybe it's about my parents...or maybe...it's the fear of finally stepping out in the outside world.

My parents said I was smart. My dad's smart so I think I got it from him. So yeah I was smart. What's the use of it if I'm going to be stuck here forever? Heh. Now I finally found some good use for it. Hm...but it's still a problem how I would survive out there...well, it's not like I know totally nothing about the outside. I watch TV. And I've read a ton of books. Oops, I forgot to mention about my dad's library in the lower floor. When there's nothing to do, that's the best place to do something. I sometimes think I've read nearly every book in there. Except for the ones my dad told me I could never touch until I grew older. I never understood why he said that but I always avoided it anyway.


Oh man...it's already time to go to sleep. But at least, this time I have something to look forward tomorrow. And it's all thanks to this journal. Who would have thought it would come to this...well, I better end this entry soon. Mom's going to be here any minute to say to me good night. I'll write more about it tomorrow. For now I need to hide it.

-G'night* Shouta 11/22 Sunday

Please review this journal if you want to continue it. But even if you don't. I'll do it anyway :P