Melo: Hey guys, I know I'm supposed to be writing my Chasing Shadows fics but I really, REALLY wanted to write this fic. Truth be told I'm absolutely in love with Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney's Matt Engarde. He's absolutely gorgeous and I hated the fact that they made him a demon-movie star. I'm writing a fic here about Matt and the ending is differently but it explains why Matt is how he is. In a way it's a cross between Phoenix Wright and CSI: Crime Scene Investigations (but I changed the name of the characters, but they're based on the characters like Gil, Catherine, etc.). I know it doesn't sound like it'd happen but its true. You'll see later, I promise. OK, I'll definitely say it's better than you think it is. OK, I'm done, so please read and review.
Finding Matt Engarde
Warning: This fic contains child abuse, cussing (which is really just symbols but you should be able to figure it out), and attempted rape, don't like, don't read.
A four year old boy ran through a small house. The house itself was a jungle and a wreck, plates stacked up in the nasty sink, clothes everywhere, and the smell of rot, dirty clothes, and fecal matter filled the entire house. It would've choked anyone not used to living in the filth. The house itself was small, one living room, one bathroom, one kitchen, two bedrooms (but one was used as an office) and one closet. There were four people that lived there: A man in his thirties, a twelve year old boy, a four year old boy, and a large Doberman pinscher. Well, so there were three people living there but the dog practically counted. It ate off the table and slept in a bed, where as the children had to sleep on the couch or on the floor. That's how it always has been.
At the moment, the Doberman, named Tiger was sleeping in a gunny sack while the man of the house hold laid on the couch flipping through channels on the TV. He wore a dirty, stained undershirt that had gone from white to grey with red, orange, and dark stains on it. He wore ripped up jeans and no socks. His hair was a dirty blond that was indeed matted and flies zoomed around his head as well as they zoomed around the dog. He grumbled about that there was nothing on TV as he flipped through the channels.
"JAMES!!!" He bellowed without removing his eyes from the TV, "GET YOUR %&$ DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW!!!"
As if on cue a skinny boy with reddish gold hair came from a room in the back of the house. He was clearly underfed and his clothes were ragged and too big for his body. He had different shades of bruises all over his body. Some were yellowish-green while others were dark black. Some were fresh, some were old. He limped towards the older man, his bare feet bleeding from walking over broken glass, nails, and who knows what else. His hair, like the older mans, was matted but longer. His eyes would be beautiful if it weren't for the fact that fear was shown in them and they were bags under them.
"Yes, daddy?" He asked without noticing what he had said.
A hand swung forth and slapped him across the face sending him flying against the wall. The boy yelped as he hit the wall, tears forming in his eyes, but there were few. He was, apparently, used to it. The Doberman was now growling and barking, but the man paid no attention to the giant dog. The boy rolled up in a ball as if trying to disappear from everything around him. Despite his size, James was a twelve year old boy, but he looked way younger.
The man stood up, "You're a big boy now James." He said mockingly as he walked towards the small figure. James flinched and inched away at each footstep, "You don't use the words like 'daddy' and 'mommy'." By now he was above the young boy. He grabbed him by the scruff of his shirt and lifted him up to eye level and then slammed him against the wall, the sound echoing everywhere in the house. James moaned a little but that was it. The Doberman was on its feet now and barking like mad.
"M-Matt..." James moaned, not looking at his father.
His dad's eyes went wide, "Matt? Matt?! You're talking about your baby brother? That piece of $%?!! That...That murderer?!"
James shook his head, "Don't hurt him... Please don't hurt him."
His father laughed, "Don't hurt him? He's a murderer James. He killed your mother. He killed my wife."
James started shivering in his fathers arms, "It wasn't his fault. You can't blame him."
The laughter got louder and the dogs barking got louder as well, "He murdered my wife!!! By coming into this world, he murdered my wife!! And now, he's going to pay."
He threw James aside and the dog attacked the small boy, biting at his arms and legs, but not going for the throat. Tiger was trained not to do so. He was trained to torture, not kill.
James' father walked towards the back of the house, where Matt was playing. James tried to jump to his feet to save his brother but the dog kept coming for him. He kicked the Doberman in the face and took off towards the back of the house, "MATT RUN!!!!"
All he could do was cry for his little brother to run. As he staggered down the hallway he heard screams to stop and crying. James tried his hardest to locate where the sound was. Tears were streaming down his face; he was begging that Matt was alright. He tried the bathroom, there was nothing. He tried to open one of the bedrooms, the one that was still used for a bedroom but there was nothing. The last room was the office. The screams were the loudest in there. James banged on the bedroom door with his fists, "LET HIM GO!! PLEASE LET HIM GO!!! HE'S A CHILD!!!! LET HIM GO!!!! LET! HIM! GO!"
There was a crash of glass breaking and then a scream. The sounds of multiple objects breaking in the room were heard. James could here footsteps, as if one were chasing another. Little screams echoed from the room. James knew they belonged to Matt. He turned to a growl and knew that Tiger was madder than ever. The large Doberman was angry and his teeth were showing. Drool slightly dripped from it's mouth and to the eight year old boy, the eyes seemed to be glowing red. James backed up against the wall, knowing he was cornered. The dog took steps towards the boy slowly, head ducked down and fangs still showing. James' heart pounded within his chest and fear was etched on his face. Not only was there fear for Matt's survival, but fear for himself now. James was never a selfish boy, he always put Matt before him and this instance would be no different.
He grabbed the doorknob and twisted it hoping that the door would open. He knew that the locks on the house weren't all that great and that if he messed with it long enough, the door would open. Tiger noticed what James was doing and started running full speed at James. Sweat was dripping down James' face and he panicked. He slammed himself against the door multiple times and when he turned back around to look at Tiger, the dog had jumped into the air, aiming to hit him. James jumped out of the way and the dog slammed into the door opening it up.
When James looked inside his heart started once again pounding in his chest. Matt was covered in blood and his father was slowly pulling the little boys pants off, his other hand covering Matt's mouth. The four year old tried to scream, but could do nothing. He was being over powered. Matt turned his head to see his older brother looking at him with horror and he stretched one of his hands out towards James for help. Without knowing what he was doing James threw himself at his father knocking him onto the ground. Matt sat up on the table, tears streaming down his cheeks like a river. James continued to fight his father, trying to hold him down.
Their father, who by the way was drunk, called out for the Dobermans help, "TIGER!!! GET 'EM TIGER!!!"
Matt, who was frozen like ice from fear, looked at the big dog expecting it to come after him, but noticed that the dog was lying motionless against the door. Hitting the door at the speed that he did had knocked the dog out cold. Slowly and delicately Matt pulled his small jeans back on him, no harm having come to his body besides being chased around the room, thrown into a vase, and bumping his head on lots of objects trying to escape. His body was shivering and his usually beautiful golden-brown eyes were wide and terrified, much like his older brother. The four year old was moving slowly, unable to comprehend what was going on but he knew that the situation was indeed terrible. He flinched as he touched his own body, and when he looked down he finally noticed that his hands and his feet were bleeding immensely. His eyes went wider then they already were, if that was physically possible, and the boy was slowing going into shock. He started whimpering and gasping.
"H-help me...Help me... Help me..." He whispered to himself.
Just then there was a crash and Matt saw a jar break over his brother's head and cover his father's body. He panicked and went to help but his brother pushed him out of the way, "No Matt! Run! Get away from here! Go outside and hide! I'll find you! I promise!" The older boy struggled with his drunken father as the older man threatened to end his life and to torture him and cuss words were spilling out of his mouth.
James looked at his brother, "Run, Matt! I don't know how much longer I can hold him!" Matt, still slightly frozen in place, was now on his feet and stared in horrified awe at the scene in front of him. He saw his older brother crying with tiny rivers of blood coming from his mouth.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING MATT?! JUST RUN!!" The voice was loud and commanding. This time, little Matt was able to find himself and he broke into a run down the hallway after jumping over the limp body of the dog. He wasn't willing to stay around and find out what was going to happen to his brother but he followed his brothers commands like a soldier does for a drill sergeant. Matt ran as fast as his little feet would take him. He had ran through the front door and slammed it shut, tears streaking down his face and he was breathing hard. He ran over broken glass, crying and whimpering 'ow, ow, ow' as his feet hit the sharp objects. He ran down the sidewalk, not being able to get too far because he was weak, tired, and a four-year old boy. He was confused and didn't know where to go. No cars passed by seeing as they lived in the darker parts of town. Nobody was on the sidewalk except for him. It was dark as well, probably around 9:30 or 10:00 at night. The little boy was beyond terrified. He didn't know what was going on and he didn't know what his father was going to do to him. His older brother had always changed his diapers, but he didn't use diapers anymore, he used pull-ups. So what WAS his father going to do to him and why did he cover his mouth? Why did he threaten him not to tell anyone about what was going to happen? Matt was so confused with so many questions running through his head, but he knew one thing for sure: He couldn't stop running. His life depended on it.
He continued to run to an old run-down park that he played at every once in a while with his brother. Everything was old and rusted and nobody would go play there or fear that something would break and hurt their children. He often wondered why people would worry. His daddy never worried about him, nor did he worry about his brother. It was unusual to see adults hold their children tightly against them when they were crying. The hugged them and kissed them as well. Matt's daddy never did these things. He either ignored him or beat him, one of the two. Before he knew it, Matt couldn't run any longer. His body was becoming tired. But he had to hide, just like his brother had told him too. He cried silently to himself as he looked around the park for places to hide. He couldn't hide in the sand box, that wasn't going to hide him. Although it was tempting; because Matt really enjoyed playing in the sand box. He looked around again, tears blurring his vision. He wiped them away on his sleeve. Like his brother, Matt's clothes were way too big for his body. His pants weren't baggy but they didn't quite fit. His shirt was too big and the sleeves were too long. You couldn't see his hands unless he rolled the sleeves up.
Matt looked around and saw a big silver, or what used to be silver, slide. It didn't have a cover on it though, so that wouldn't be a good place to hide. He continued looking around, sniffing and hiccupping, wanting someone to hold him when he saw it. There was a large tube slide towards the back of the park. There was tape surrounding it saying 'Caution' and a piece of paper taped to the slide that said 'RIDE NOT SAFE! PROHIBIT USE! DANGEROUS FOR CHILDREN!" But seeing as Matt couldn't read, he ducked down under the tape and ran up the rusted steps into the slide. He sat down, his feet now bleeding with dirt and rust and who knows what else on them. He cried to himself, but fairly loudly. His feet hurt, his arms hurt, his head hurt, heck, everything hurt. He pulled his knees up to his chest and buried his head in his arms. The tears were running freely. His reddish-golden hair was going every-which-way. He didn't care though. All he wanted was his big brother. James always made him feel special. There was multiple times where James would run and grab Matt and pull him into the closet, safely tucked away from their father when he was in a drunken rampage. James would always play with Matt and anytime that Matt didn't feel like he was safe, or anytime Matt was hurt or crying he was there for him. Matt loved James more than he loved anything. James was his savior. Without James, Matt wouldn't know what to do.
Matt was pulled from his memories when lightning crashed and thunder rolled along with rain pouring down over the slide like a waterfall. Matt screamed amongst the rain and even though he wasn't getting to wet, there were cracks where some rain was dripping on him, he couldn't see the ground anymore at the bottom of the slide the rain was so thick. Matt hated the rain, or really, he hated the thunder and lightning. It frightened him. James would always rush into the room, whether Matt was crying, sitting on the couch, or sleeping and hold his younger sibling. He cuddled him and rocked him back and forth, back and forth, whispering to Matt that everything would be OK. He'd sing to him as well. Even though James never went to school and never took lessons, James could sing like an angel. It was a natural talent of his. Matt on the other hand couldn't sing very well, but James would always tell him that he could do anything if he put his heart and mind to it.
The lightning crashed again and again. Matt screamed and yelped begging for James to appear at any given time. He was cold and shivering and the rain wasn't letting up any time soon. He pulled his shirt over his head and hid inside his own clothes. It was warmer that was for sure, but yet he continued to shiver. The little boy couldn't bear much more. Where was James? Was he alright? Matt left before he could see the outcome of the fight. James had never attacked their dad before. Of course, he taken a beating in place of Matt, but nothing like this ever happened. Matt looked back at the way he came and noticed that water was seeping towards him. Like at the bottom of the slide the water was so thick he couldn't see two inches out. Matt panicked. What if something happened to James and he couldn't find him? What if James was hurt from their dad beating him? Whatever the reason, Matt pulled his shirt back on and crawled back out into the hard, cold rain. The rain felt like needles against his body as he walked back the way he came, down the rusted steps and now, instead of dirt, through the mud and muck. He crawled back under the tape and started walking around aimlessly.
"JAMES!!!" He called, "BIG BROTHER!!! WHERE ARE YOU?!"
He couldn't tell if tears were running down his face or if it was the rain. After wandering around for a while he tripped over his own two feet and landed in the mud. He yelped and cried as he landed in the wet, mushy substance. Now he knew it was tears running down his face. He was covered in mud, head to toe. He thanked himself for always slicking his hair back for the four years he'd been alive. James had always commented that Matt would look 'cool' if he had bangs, but Matt never agreed to it. He rolled in the mud only to notice how weak he was. He wasn't able to get up for anybody or anything. He sobbed n the mud and yelped again in pain when something sticking up from the ground ripped at his legs. He looked down to see a large piece of glass. But Matt didn't care, he was miserable. He felt that James wasn't going to come for him. He was alone and scared with nobody there to hold him. Not even James, who had been with him his entire life. He tried to get up again, only to slip and fall into the mud. Out of frustration Matt pounded the grounds with his fist and flung mud everywhere. Nobody would've been able to see him, not even his father unless he had tripped over him. Matt was camouflaged by the rain. His screams could hardly be heard.
A few minutes, but what seemed like hours to Matt, later a person appeared behind Matt. He wasn't able to see them nor did he care, but the figure came running at him. A hand grabbed his shoulder and Matt thrashed around trying to get away but to know use. He was too tired to thrash and his throat hurt too much to scream. The person picked up the fighting body and held him in both arms, like a mother does a baby.
"Matt! Quit struggling! It's me, James!"
Matt somehow was able to hear the shouts from the loud thunder and the hard rain and looked up into the eyes of his elder brother. He automatically wrapped his arms around his older brother's neck and sobbed into his shoulder. James was here! He was finally here! His brother didn't forget him at all! James held the little boy in his arms and carried him back towards the large tube slide. He ducked under the tape and carried his brother up the steps, which squeaked under their combined weight, and carried him back inside the slide. There was a small puddle of water underneath them but James could care less if his clothes were wet. They were both already soaked to the bone. James sat on the puddle and held four-year old Matt in his arms. The child cried, sobbed, and hiccupped in his arms. Matt buried his face in his brother's chest and squirmed in his arms.
"Shhh....it's alright, Mattie." The older boy continued to rock his brother back and forth using the nickname he picked out for his brother, hoping it would calm him down, "It's alright." He stroked the boy's long hair and kissed his cheek and then continued rocking him. The boy's sobs slowed down and turned into cries only. The older boy, an Angel of Music, hummed a lullaby to the little one and rubbed his back. He hummed Matt's favorite song "Baby Mine" from the movie Dumbo. This calmed Matt down quite a bit however, he was still shivering. James held him in his lap and then remembered that he had brought a bag with him. It was their mother's bag before she had died and she had given it to James a couple of days before she died. It used to be a baby bag, full of diapers, formula, bottles, and such but now it held a couple of T-shirts in case of something like this, or really in case Matt had been playing in the rain, some small pants, some pull-ups, seeing as their father never gave them attention Matt wasn't completely potty trained and every once in a while would have an accident, some toys and Matt's old blanky and a pillow. During the fight, James had been able to knock his dad out by running his dad into a table. After that he had run towards the front door, Tiger was beginning to wake up so he definitely had to book it. He stopped himself upon hearing the rain and snuck towards the bathroom, trying not to wake Tiger up anymore and grabbed the bag and filled it up with some clean-ish clothes and grabbed some pull-ups. Running back towards the front room he grabbed a red blanket and pillow off the couch and left the house, careful not to slam the door. He knew exactly where his brother would've gone and that was the park. The park was Matt's favorite place to go to. James remembered how Matt would beg him to take him to the park almost everyday. It was on rainy days or super hot days that Matt didn't even bother trying. James remembered how he'd push his little brother on the swing but never too high because Matt had a tiny fear of heights. He grinned at the thought of the past. Even though Matt and him didn't have a good home life, there were plenty of times that they had fun together. Their father didn't put them through school, whether he couldn't afford it or whether he didn't care, James would never know. It probably was a bit of both.
The lightning struck the sky and the thunder boomed so loud, Matt screamed. James pulled him closer to his body and continued to rock him, "Hey, it's OK Mattie. Don't cry. I'm here."
Matt sniffed, "Jamie?" The older brother hummed in response, "Will you sing that lullaby to me?" The younger boy looked up at his older brother with pleading in his eyes.
James looked down and smiled whipping both of Matt's cheeks, clearing the tears from Matt's face, "Of course Mattie."
James began to rock Matt again and looked up the top of the slide as he sang the words to the song:
"Baby Mine, don't you cry,
Baby mine, dry your eyes.
Rest your head close to my heart,
Never to part.
Baby of Mine.
Little one when you play
Don't you mind what they say
Let those eyes, sparkle and shine
Never a Tear
Baby of Mine."
Matt's eyes slowly drooped to his brother's lyrical singing. His brother was an amazing singer and listening to him just at that moment proved it. James rubbed Matt's back and continued his song until Matt had gone to sleep. He again smiled and was happy to see that the weather and rain were dying down. Not that he didn't mind the rain, but it scared Matt and if it scared Matt, James didn't want anything to do with it. He looked down at Matt to see the young boy curled up in his arms, his chest rising and falling rhythmically, his head on his chest, and his small tiny thumb stuck in his mouth. James brushed a few strands of hair out of his little brothers face, which cause the young boy to twitch a tad bit and then fall back into place.
James sighed; they would have to go back to their father. There was no where else for them to go. They couldn't stay at the park; people would probably be there in the morning. The police couldn't do anything about their dad because he was so violent and if they took them away from their dad they would more or likely go to an Orphanage where, again more than likely be separated into two different families. That made James' chest hurt, the thought just killed him. Being separated from Matt would be a never-ending nightmare. Matt needed him, as well as vice-versa. James couldn't bear to be separated from Matt. They were family, and families stuck together for ever. But didn't that mean that they'd have to deal with their father forever? James shuddered; he didn't want to think about. Now he knew that their father, Michael Heidger was an abusive father, but he was a child-rapist, a sexual abuser as well. How had their loving mother come to love him? Their mother loved more than anyone he had ever known. Michael was the same way until their mother died. So why the sudden change? Wasn't their father smart enough to know that Matt wasn't a murderer? He was an infant! A baby can't be claimed murderer. He doesn't know right from wrong, nor was Matt given the chance. Would that bother Matt? He was four so he didn't comprehend many things, but how will he feel later on in life thinking that he was the reason their mother died? He wouldn't blame himself right? He wouldn't turn out like their dad right? There's no way that Matt would start cutting his wrists or anything! James shook his head, as long as he was around Matt wouldn't have to suffer. He wouldn't let Matt suffer. But if they had to return to their dad...wouldn't that just endanger Matt? James couldn't leave Matt in the care of their dad anymore. His dad would do horrible things to Matt and seeing as he was just a child, which could ruin Matt's life. If it was continual, would Matt fight back anymore? Would he care? Again, James had to shake the idea away from him. Matt wouldn't become such a person. Never!
The rain was stopping and it was way past 10:00. James needed to get some sleep, but what if they're dad appeared? That would end terribly. He sighed, deciding that he couldn't fight sleep and their father wouldn't come looking for him. Both he and Matt were too afraid to tell the police anything about their father for fear of what would happen if the remained in his custody. He laid Matt down and laid down right beside him. Matt instantly cuddled up against his brother with his thumb still in his mouth. Before closing his eyes finally for the night, James listened for Tiger or for the sound of anything coming their way. Slowly and carefully he wrapped his arms around Matt and pulled him into his body for warmth. He grabbed the blanket and pillow from the bag, which was inside the slide with them, and wrapped the blanket around both his and his brother's body and then lifted Matt's head up slowly and placed the pillow underneath his head form comfort. He felt Matt relax quite a bit being in his brothers arms and then slowly fell asleep himself. He prayed that tomorrow would be better and just like the rainy day, things would be blown over and calm again. Silently before his eyes shut he vowed that he wouldn't let his father do anything to Matt. Even if it meant his life.
Melo: Alright so how'd you like it? I thought it was pretty sad. Here's the thing, I woke up at 4:00 in the morning thinking of this and having no idea where it came from. This is probably going to be as long as Chasing Shadows. I have it all in my head right now. Please review!!!