Chapter 11: Boom!

The sea breeze played with Japan's bangs as he sailed closer and closer to Korea's shores. Though the tides had initially been in my favor, Korea has been successfully fending me off as of late. Not only that, China will soon arrive to back him up…I must win this war before th-WHAT IS THAT THING?!

Japan's eyes popped out of his eyes as what could only be described as a giant metal turtle with a dragon's head was heading straight towards him.

From its mouth, a voice loudly demanded, "Go away, but give me back my stuff first or face my wrath!"

Japan couldn't move, frozen in shock in the midst of that monstrosity.

"Have it your way!"

The head promptly began to shoot out fire. Japan's wooden ship didn't have a chance.

A scream rang out into the air.


Covered in soot and third degree burns, Japan stumbled onto the Korean shores, grateful that he was still alive.

"I told you to go away!"

Japan looked up to see Korea perched up on a nearby hill, a strange wooden contraption next to him. Korea waved cheerily down at him before lighting the fuse and sticking his fingers into his ears.

A massive salvo of arrows flew up into the air before descending upon him. Japan immediately took back his previous remark about being grateful.

The second scream was louder than the first.

Cultural Notes: From 1592-1598, Japan was on a conquest to take over Korea. Initally, they were winning, but Korea managed to eventually turn things around. Though sources are scarce and likely exaggerated, it is widely believed that these two weapons are the cause: the turtle ship and the hwacha.

The turtle ship's deck was completely covered with a metal roof with spikes on it so that people wouldn't be able to jump on it. Its weapons were various types of cannons, which could be fired from the sides or from the dragon head's mouth. The head could also spew smokescreens or poisonous gas.

The hwacha is the first weapon ever invented anywhere that was capable of firing multiple projectiles. It is a wooden cart capable of firing either 100 iron tipped arrows or 200 rockets. They could travel at a distance of at least 500 feet and explode on impact, taking out a huge chunk of an invading army. Myth Busters did an episode on the hwacha a few years ago, confirming that yes, this was indeed one badass weapon.

In case you might be wondering why we didn't use these against Japan during the occupation, Korea had been enjoying an era of peace for quite some time and didn't stock up.

Korea's demands that Japan give back his stuff refers to the fact that during the confusion of the war, Japan kidnapped many skilled Koreans, including potters, scholars, weavers, metal-workers, and so on. Though there are a lot of uptight Koreans who incorrectly believe that all aspects of Japanese culture originates from Korea, it's not too hard to see where that belief comes from. Hell, this means that a lot of Japanese people today probably have some Korean lineage.

Must...write...more...comedy...before...moving...onto...more...angst...maybe I should give North Korea her own separate story...