Tenchi Muyo: Ryo-ohki OVA4 Prologue
Tenchi Muyo, Tenchi GXP and all related characters are © AIC/Pioneer/Funimation. This story has been written solely for entertainment. The views expressed herein do not necessarily express the opinions of AIC/Pioneer/Funimation, the author, or this website.
Pushing a key on her holographic keyboard, Washu summoned a device that looked like a flying miniature camcorder. "Hey, this thing on?" She muttered as she leaned over and tapped the device to make sure it was working before leaning back to sit on the floating cushion she used as a seat.
"Hi there, Tenchi fans!" called Washu's nasal voice. "All of us in the cast and crew of Tenchi Muyo are tickled pink by all of the love and support you've given us over the years. We appreciate the fact that you've watched our shows and even read and wrote fan fiction about us. From all of us, I just want to say thank you.
"Some newcomers to the Tenchi franchise may be confused by the conflicting continuities," the redhead continued. "Just as there are many different versions of your favorite comic book superheroes, there are different versions of the Tenchi gang as well. So far we have had two TV shows of twenty-six episodes each, two manga series, and twenty episodes of Tenchi Muyo: Ryo-ohki, the Original Video Animation. That's not including our numerous spin-offs, specials or movies."
"Yes indeed," the little carrot top sighed, "it certainly looks like the Tenchi saga is complete. With one exception. Both Tenchi Universe TV and Shin Tenchi Muyo AKA Tenchi in Tokyo had twenty-six episodes, but Tenchi Muyo: Ryo-ohki, the continuity that started it all, has only twenty episodes, what is the deal with that?"
With little warning, the mad scientist went from lecturing to indignant. "For crying out loud, people! The original continuity has spanned both the manga and Tenchi Muyo GXP! How come the series that GXP is based on has fewer episodes than the sequel? What the heck is going on? How come the other two series has twenty-six episodes but the original has only twenty, huh?"
"I dunno," Ryoko's voice answered. "Maybe the third OVA might have, I dunno, sucked?"
"Hey!" Washu protested as she looked to her right. "Tenchi OVA3 was a fitting continuation to the series!"
"No it wasn't," the cyan-haired space pirate said as she walked into view. "It blew chunks. Aside of you and Tenchi, the regular cast was barely in it. Noike had no story purpose, and the pacing and directing was crappy. For crying out loud, our fight scenes were edited out. I had more onscreen time in the seventeenth episode of Tenchi Muyo GXP than in any single episode of OVA 3."
"Quiet you fool," Washu hissed as she stood on top of her floating cushion to put her hands over Ryoko's mouth. "If you go around saying that, nobody is going to buy the DVD's!"
"So what?" the pirate shrugged as she took a step back and removed the little scientist's hands from her mouth. "If they don't watch OVA3, they'll still like Tenchi Muyo. Sounds win-win to me."
"Connect the dots, you idiot," the redhead hissed as she gestured to the floating camcorder. "If no one buys the DVD's, we won't get another series! And you can kiss any possibility of a fourth OVA goodbye!"
"Ooh!" Ryoko's golden eyes became as wide as saucers and she looked at the camera fearfully. "Uh, I mean OVA3 kicked butt! Yep! Answered all the questions we had about OVA one and two! That's right! No plot holes or continuity errors or anything! And certainly no retroactive continuity or anything like that! It's the way Tenchi Muyo was supposed to be from the beginning, I swear!"
"Will you get out of here?" Washu snarled. "Go! Go!" The little genius made shooing motions with her arms as Ryoko retreated out of the camera's view. "Eh-heh-heh," a sweat drop appeared at the redhead's temple as she smiled guiltily at the camera.
"Ahem," the short scientist cleared her throat as she tried to regain her composure. "As my fellow cast member pointed out, there is a small yet vocal minority who has expressed dissatisfaction with our third OVA series."
"Wow!" Ryoko's voice called from offstage. "Look at all the hate mail! I sure wouldn't want to be in Noike's shoes right now!"
Washu valiantly tried to ignore her. "A few, a very tiny few, just one or two of you really, felt that Funimation version didn't do justice to the series the way the Pioneer LDC versions did…"
"MAN!" Ryoko shouted from offstage. "You wouldn't believe how many people the twentieth episode ticked off!"
"Will you shut up?" Washu screeched. "What are you doing in here anyway? I thought I locked the door to my lab!"
"Saw…ree," Mihoshi's voice called out. "I think I broke the lock to your door, but don't worry; I think I can fix it!"
"Oy…" the redhead covered her face with her hands.
"Don't worry!" Ryoko shouted. "I'll help her! We'll have it fixed in a jiffy! Just keep going!"
"Yeah right," the scientist muttered. "Okay, just be quiet, okay?" she shouted to the offstage pair.
"Got it," Mihoshi's voice replied.
"You won't even know we're here!" Ryoko promised.
"Sure I won't," Washu grumbled. "Ahem," she cleared her throat noisily. "Well, those of us at the Masaki house agree that the original series should have twenty-six episodes, just like Tenchi GXP did. So Galaxy1001D has offered to write six episodes in story form for us."
The sound of approaching footsteps at a run was heard as Washu rolled her eyes in exasperation. Suddenly, Princess Ayeka appeared onscreen at Washu's right.
"Oh no!" Ayeka gasped. "Not him! Tell me it's not true Lady Washu!"
"What's the matter with him?" Washu asked irritably. "He's just as good as anyone else is."
"The problem is that Galaxy1001D isn't Japanese!" Ayeka squeaked. "He hasn't even eaten Japanese food! He knows nothing of our culture, of our legends, nothing! He comes from the country that dropped atomic bombs on this island!"
"So what?" Washu growled. "We have lots of fans in America. What's the big deal?"
"You don't understand," Ayeka clasped her hands in her best 'damsel in distress' pose. "This is the same man who thinks that Tenchi's mother was his grandmother based off a mistranslation in episode four! He isn't even familiar with the back-story of the OVA's! He's going to skip the 'True Tenchi' novels! He's just going to make it up whole cloth!"
"He's going to skip the 'True Tenchi' novels?" Washu grimaced in shock as a bead of sweat appeared in her hair. "But… my complex background… Jurai's history… what about that?"
"He's just going to make it up from scratch," Ayeka told her with moist eyes. "If it wasn't translated into English as a cartoon, he's just going to disregard it."
Washu seemed to freeze as her eyes bulged out. "Th-that's fine… just fine…" she stammered weakly. "Rewriting my background. That's good, that's being creative. It's all good here," the little genius lied bravely.
"I'm sorry," Ayeka closed her tearful eyes and covered the lower half of her face with her sleeve as she patted the stunned redhead on the shoulder. She turned and left the camera's view.
"Th-that's good," the scientist burbled in shock. "Hey, maybe he'll do great… Y-yeah… nothing wrong with that… Good for him…"
"Who cares," Ryoko's voice called out. "Hopefully that will mean more lines for the rest of us."
That broke the spell. Washu frowned and shook her head to clear it. "AHEM," she cleared her throat extra noisily this time. "As my friend and colleague pointed out, these six stories will be based off the events of Tenchi Muyo: Ryo-ohki, and Tenchi Muyo: GXP, with few or no references to other sources."
"Except maybe Tenchi Universe," Ryoko shouted from offstage. "He's a big fan of Tenchi Universe."
"Isn't he going to include the manga?" Mihoshi's voice asked. "I thought he liked the manga."
"Will you shut your pie-hole!" Washu growled. "Ahem," she cleared her throat again. "As I was saying…"
As Washu spoke voices and noise could be heard from offstage.
"Okay Ryoko," Mihoshi's voice said. "Hold the door still for me okay?"
"Check," Ryoko's voice answered.
"All of us here at Tenchi Muyo encourage all of you aspiring writers to try your hand at writing the fourth OVA series," Washu continued. The screech of a power drill nearly overpowered the voice of the little scientist as she continued speaking. "This is just one interpretation and if your version is better we'd be happy to star in it," Washu said as the repetitive sound of a hammer striking against wood was heard in the background. "Don't get discouraged because somebody else is already writing it," she added as the drill almost drowned her voice out. "We and our fans would be happy to give your version a chance." The drill stopped and the hammer's booming pounding was heard again. "Will you keep it down?" Washu shouted at the duo that was repairing the lock on her door. "I can't hear myself think here!"
"Keep yer shirt on," Ryoko retorted.
"Sorry Washu," Mihoshi's high-pitched childlike voice called out. "We're almost done, we promise!"
The scientist gnashed her teeth and glowered at the offstage pair. She turned back to the camera and took a deep breath to calm herself down as Ryoko and Mihoshi's voices lowered to a quiet mutter. "Ahem," the redhead cleared her throat yet again. "In the meantime let's give the writer our encouragement and support…"
"Otherwise the little whiner will get discouraged and leave us all hanging," Ryoko snorted, "then we'll never find out how it ends."
"Will you SHUT UP!" Washu screamed. "This is why we don't have very many fan fiction writers! You're always so mean to them! Why are you two still in here, anyway? Get out of here!"
"We're done!" Mihoshi's voice chirped.
"I think we did it, Washu," Ryoko called.
"Will you two idiots get out of here?" Washu left her seat to run offstage. "Out! Out! OUT!" her voice screamed.
"Okay, don't get your knickers in a bunch, sheesh," Ryoko said.
"Goodbye, see you later Washu!" Mihoshi said sweetly.
"You're done fixing the lock, just leave!" Washu ordered.
"See yuh," Ryoko muttered.
"Goodbye!" Mihoshi gushed.
The sound of a door slamming could be heard.
Washu returned to the camera's view muttering under her breath. "What a bunch of pests! That dumb blonde broke the lock on my door and then she thinks she can fix it… Guh!" Washu grimaced in fear as a disconcerting thought struck her.
She ran offstage again and soon the sounds of a doorknob rattling could be heard. "Oh no!" she exclaimed. "Just as I thought! Those two idiots locked me in! Mihoshi! Ryoko! Open the door! You made it lock from the wrong side! Open the door you guys! Can you hear me? HEY!"
Tenchi is in his room when Ryoko pops out of the wall and hugs him. Japanese kanji appears obscuring your view as a woman's voice sings a peppy tune.
When the cherry blossom starts to bloom
Meet me here in my lonely room
We'll find a passion filled fantasy
And this time you will stay with me
Ayeka bursts into the room and chases Ryoko away. Ryoko sticks her tongue out at Ayeka. More kanji appears and disappears.
All the misery that we knew before
Stays away when you are at my door
My heart will sing at ev'ry tender touch
And, oh, you'll want me twice as much
Sasami and a toddler Ryo-ohki wave out the kitchen window at Ryoko and Ayeka fighting. Sasami leaves the kitchen and enters the main living room.
A new dimension of love
A bold adventure waiting for you
The true dimension of love
A soaring flight. A dazzling view
Mihoshi waves at Sasami from the top of the stairs before tripping and falling. She sits up and winces in pain as she rubs her head.
We're gonna take it all the way
We'll make the dream so totally real
See greater wonders by the day
Then tell the stars what glourious rapture we feel
Washu opens the door under the stairs and walks out carrying a strange device. Mihoshi bumps into her and the redhead drops the gadget, that shatters at her feet. Washu transforms into a baby and Mihoshi catches her before she falls. Ryo-ohki startles Mihoshi and she tosses baby Washu into the air.
Soon, with the start of Spring
We'll know our hearts are changing
Leave the hurt behind
I'll be true and kind
Be the best you'll ever find
Noike smiles enigmatically as the wall behind her become the stars. Baby Washu tumbles through space and falls back down to Earth.
We don't ever have to cry or fight
Something tells me we can make it right
Enough of wandering far and wide
I just can't forget you though I've tried
The camera pans down to the outside of Tenchi's house to see Tenchi, Ryoko, Ayeka, Sasami, Mihoshi, Ryo-ohki, and Noike catch the baby with a blanket held between them. When the crowd parts, Washu is a twelve-year-old again and the cast waves to you.
This is destiny so why pretend
Close your eyes kiss me once again
I'll always be the only one you need
So go where your deepest longing leads
Next: Yosho Unmasked