Note: This is intended to go with a chapter (X-rated) of my Are You Ready To Fight series. This chapter is intended to go first, so if you haven't read that, you'll be fine.
Disclaimer: I don't own them.
Bones has a bad habit of claiming to be busy during the week, forcing us to schedule our sessions with Sweets on Saturday afternoon. I know she's got a lot of work to do, but surely she could make time for our sessions during the week and squint at her bones on Saturday. She doesn't like doing that, though.
The good part of meeting with Sweets on Saturday afternoon is that I can usually talk her into going for dinner afterwards. You have to eat, right?
That's what happened this week. I convinced her to have dinner with me at this little place around the corner from work. We were having a great time laughing and talking. We spend so much time together you'd think we'd run out of things to talk about, but somehow we never do.
I didn't want the evening to end, so I suggested we go to a movie. I even offered to let her pick. She agreed and we decided that she would buy the tickets and I would buy snacks. She claimed that we didn't need snacks since we'd just finished dinner. Sometimes I think she's from another planet. Who ever heard of going to the movies but not getting snacks?
When we got to the theatre, she headed off to get tickets and I went off to get the snacks. We met at the ticket taker and headed in to our movie. I didn't even know what movie we were going to see until we were in the theatre. That's when I found out that Bones had chosen a thriller. That was OK – I like suspense as much as the next person. The part that made me worried was that it was an x-rated thriller.
I sat down, hoping that the rating was for gratuitous violence. I mean, I see the results of violence enough in my day to day life. I don't really need to see it in my leisure time. However, if the option is to watch a sex scene while sitting next to my partner, I'll take the violence.
Bones doesn't get out much, and she enjoyed watching the pre-show trivia questions and the previews. Finally, the movie started.
I knew I was in trouble almost immediately. The movie started with some shots designed to set the scene – you know, the broad shots of a city designed to let you know where you are. After that, the camera swooped in to a building, and then in to an apartment. In the apartment were a man and a woman having sex.
Now, this wasn't under-the-covers, use-your-imagination sex.
No. This was a naked woman riding a naked man. Simulated sex, but it looked pretty real from where I was sitting – right beside my partner, her elbow brushing my arm on the armrest.
I was horrified. I'm not a prude – no matter what Bones tells you – but this wasn't something I wanted to watch with a woman I can't touch.
Luckily, that scene didn't last long. The story started to move along and, to my relief, everyone was fully clothed. I started to relax and eat my popcorn.
Fifteen minutes later, the main characters barely escaped a barrage of bullets of bullets. They decided to celebrate by having sex up against the wall. Bones and I have been in plenty of life-or-death situations, but we've never had sex afterwards. Sure, I've thought about it, but it's never happened. Watching the scene playing out before me made me think of us in the same situation. I shifted in my seat and glanced over at Bones, hoping she couldn't tell how aroused I was getting. She was watching the screen, obviously wrapped up in the movie.
The plot moved forward and I relaxed again. The characters met up with another couple and they joined forces. Now that everyone was dressed again, I had to admit that I was enjoying the movie. From what I could see, Bones was enjoying it too.
I got wrapped up in the story. It was a surprise when the movie started drawing to a close. There was a final battle between the good guys and the bad guys. One of the main characters – the man we'd seen way too much of in the opening sex scene – was killed. The three remaining characters survived, though, and the bad guys were wiped out.
I was expecting the closing credits, but that I'm not that lucky. Instead, there was one last sex scene – comfort sex between the remaining man and the two women. What did I do to deserve this?
Like a lot of guys, having sex with two women at once is a fantasy of mine. I was not prepared to watch it acted out on the big screen while sitting right beside Bones.
I sat there, becoming more aroused by the minute, until it occurred to me – the movie was almost over. I was soon going to have to get up and walk out of the theatre with Bones. No way would she not notice my erection.
I admit it. I panicked. I turned to her, muttering "bathroom" and headed out of the theatre.
When I got out of the bathroom, the movie was over and Bones was waiting for me in the lobby. As I drove her home, she talked about the movie. I didn't respond – I was trying to think of anything but what we had just seen.
I'm sure she noticed. Bones notices everything.
When we got to her building, she asked if I was angry. What could I say? I told her I wasn't as she got out of the car. I'm not sure if she believed me.
I hope she did. I don't want her to bring this up on Monday.