Wizard May Cry

Summary: In fourth year, there's a new teacher, from AMERICA! What are Dumbledore's reasons for hiring him? Simple, he's one of the most proficient demon hunters and will be able to teach his precious students about the dangers of demons.

I know what you're thinking: "Dante a TEACHER?" I have to say the thought of placing small, defenseless in the hands of a half-demon who really doesn't give a shit terrifies me too. But you have to admit, it would be funny.

I will also continue this into fifth year, because think of all the things Dante would say to Umbridge, and MAYBE sixth year, we'll see.

As for romance, none for Dante since, as I mentioned earlier, he just doesn't give a shit. The HP fluff will follow the books as closely as possible.

One final textual notice: this takes place AFTER games 3, 1, and 4 so any of those characters may be mentioned at some point or another. If you do not know the story lines of ANY ONE of these games, I would suggest watching the cutscenes on youtube.


Dante and Trish sat on the desk, munching on pizza and waiting for some business to come there way. The demons had all been too peaceful lately. Not that the two of them much enjoyed the humans being viciously decimated, but not having that was bad for business.

"Heard any news from Lady lately?" Trish asked.

"Last I heard, she was having bad business too."

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door. Dante nearly jumped across the entire length of the room at the thought of some income, but he contained himself and calmly walked over to the door.

Dante was surprised to see a calm old man standing there with long silver hair and a matching beard, wearing strange, long, flowing robes. Damn he thought this isn't about a job. Still, the old man might one day find himself in need of an extermination, and Dante wanted to be the first name in his mind. "Can I help you?"

"Yes," the old man replied in a British accent. "I wish to speak to Dante."

Dante smirked smugly. So my fame has spread to even Europe? Nice. "You're lookin' at him. Come on in," he said as he opened the door further. "Trish, looks like we got some business."

"So what's the problem?" she asked skeptically as she eyed the strange geezer.

"Well, in truth, I only have a job for Dante. You see, I run a school for children with magical powers, but, lately, in our area, we have been overrun by demons. I fear for the safety of the students, especially if they have to go out into the world and they are unable to defend themselves. I was rather hoping that you, Dante would be able to come teach the students, as your lineage makes you the best candidate," the old man explained.

Dante didn't have much trouble believing the part about the magic, it wasn't THAT much more ridiculous than the fact that he was one of the sons of the legendary Sparda. But he couldn't leave the shop, besides, "Sorry, but I only take jobs with action."

"You will be paid very handsomely, I assure you."

THAT got his attention. "How handsome we talkin' here?"

The man pulled out over ten gold coins that were about the size of hubcaps. (According to the guy renting the camping areas in book four. You know, the guy that got levitated by Death Eaters.) Seeing Dante's eyes widen at the sight of them, the man said, "This isn't even close to a fraction of what you will receive if you take the job."

Dante looked to his partner, who was eyeing the gold with something between greed and desperation. They did need the money. "But what about the shop? Someone has to keep the peace around here."

"Dante, business is slow, I can team up with Lady and if we cover more ground together, we may be able to scrape by," Trish suggested, but Dante heard the message underneath her words; If you even THINK about passing up that much money, you will be seeing Vergil again sooner than you think.

"Alright, in that case, I accept."

Okay, I definitely plan on doing that again any time soon. Let's just say, Dante's first experience with side-along Apparation did not go well.

At any rate, he was trudging up a slope with the man he had learned to be called Dumbledore to a castle that was the school.

When they finally reached their destination, Dumbldore opened the gigantic double doors to reveal an even more enormous entrance hall.

"Ah, Albus, you have returned," said a strict-looking woman with her hair in a tight bun. "Did you succeed?" Then she saw Dante. "Is this the man that you spoke of?" she asked, as if worried this was the wrong person.

"I assure you, Minerva, however young he may seem, he is quite capable and strong. Now, I have a favor to ask of you. If you could, I would greatly appreciate it if you taught young Dante here about our dear school."

"Of course. Come with me." And so, Dante sat down with the severe woman and learned all about the school he had just arrived in.

First chapter is finished! I know, it's far too short, but I didn't want to have an unexplained time gap in the middle of the chapter, I'm starting on chapter 2 right now.