It was a cold, rainy day in Forks, Washington. The Cullen's were in bad moods thanks to Emmett. Carlisle took his aggression out in work.

Nurse: Dr. Cullen, why are you holding his beating heart in your hand?

Carlisle: because…it makes me feel powerful! Hehehe *stitches heart back into patient*

Nurse: um…okay?

Esme decided to rearrange all of the furniture in the entire house…

Rosalie: its really not called rearranging when you throw the furniture in random places..

Esme: *throwing a chair at Rosalie* SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!

Edward completely destroyed his grand piano…

Edward: PIANO IS FOR LOSERS! GO DIE PIANO GO DIE!

Esme: CLEAN IT UP BITCH.

Edward: yes mommy…

Bella became utterly confused and stopped visiting the family…

Emmett: Where is Bella? I haven't seen her lately

Edward: WELL WOULDN'T YOU LIKE TO KNOW!

Emmett: yes…that is why I asked

Edward: SHUT UP WHORE.

Rosalie moved out of her and Emmett's room…

*Carlisle and Esme are cuddling in bed*

Emmett: mommy I'm lonely!

Carlisle: go entertain yourself with the new yoyo I got you

Emmett: it broke…mommy can I cuddle with you?

Esme: sure Emmett

Emmett: heh heh she's my mommy now! *climbs in bed*

Carlisle: SHUT UP WHORE.

Alice discovered new ways to get into Emmett's room…

Alice: YOU MEAN THERE WAS A BACK WAY TO YOUR ROOM ALL OF THIS TIME?

Emmett:…no…..

Alice: AND I RISKED MY LIFE TO COME SEE YOU?

Emmett: maybe…

Alice: SHUT UP WHORE.

Jasper let his hair grow out even longer and bushier just to piss off Emmett…

Emmett: AHHHH IT BURNS

Jasper: WELL GOOD

Emmett: AHHHHHHH ITS EATING ME

Jasper: heh heh heh heh heh

Emmett: SHUT UP WHORE.

Jasper: wow… you don't even know what the means do you?

Emmett: no but mommy and daddy and everyone else has been saying that to me!

Jasper: SHUT UP YOU WHOREISH MALE FIGURE GO DIE IN A WHOLE

Emmett: lawlosaur

Jasper: this…means…WAR!

*to be continued…*