It was a cold, rainy day in Forks, Washington. The Cullen's were in bad moods thanks to Emmett. Carlisle took his aggression out in work.
Nurse: Dr. Cullen, why are you holding his beating heart in your hand?
Carlisle: because…it makes me feel powerful! Hehehe *stitches heart back into patient*
Esme decided to rearrange all of the furniture in the entire house…
Rosalie: its really not called rearranging when you throw the furniture in random places..
Esme: *throwing a chair at Rosalie* SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!
Edward completely destroyed his grand piano…
Edward: PIANO IS FOR LOSERS! GO DIE PIANO GO DIE!
Esme: CLEAN IT UP BITCH.
Edward: yes mommy…
Bella became utterly confused and stopped visiting the family…
Emmett: Where is Bella? I haven't seen her lately
Edward: WELL WOULDN'T YOU LIKE TO KNOW!
Emmett: yes…that is why I asked
Edward: SHUT UP WHORE.
Rosalie moved out of her and Emmett's room…
*Carlisle and Esme are cuddling in bed*
Emmett: mommy I'm lonely!
Carlisle: go entertain yourself with the new yoyo I got you
Emmett: it broke…mommy can I cuddle with you?
Esme: sure Emmett
Emmett: heh heh she's my mommy now! *climbs in bed*
Carlisle: SHUT UP WHORE.
Alice discovered new ways to get into Emmett's room…
Alice: YOU MEAN THERE WAS A BACK WAY TO YOUR ROOM ALL OF THIS TIME?
Alice: AND I RISKED MY LIFE TO COME SEE YOU?
Alice: SHUT UP WHORE.
Jasper let his hair grow out even longer and bushier just to piss off Emmett…
Emmett: AHHHH IT BURNS
Jasper: WELL GOOD
Emmett: AHHHHHHH ITS EATING ME
Jasper: heh heh heh heh heh
Emmett: SHUT UP WHORE.
Jasper: wow… you don't even know what the means do you?
Emmett: no but mommy and daddy and everyone else has been saying that to me!
Jasper: SHUT UP YOU WHOREISH MALE FIGURE GO DIE IN A WHOLE
*to be continued…*