Nature: a primitive, wild condition; an uncultivated state; the original, natural, uncivilized condition of humankind.
We were supposed to have defeated the laws of nature. We were the ones they called the creatures of the night, the shape shifters. We were the men who became beasts. We had the supernatural world on our side.
And that was what we believed.
We believed that our condition set forth rules, an unbreakable group of laws that would cause our world to make sense.
That was until I happened.
Then everything changed.
I was stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid. That's what I was. I sat on the couch in my pajamas, spooning ice cream out of a carton and wallowing in self-pity. Another Saturday night alone…
I dipped my spoon back into the carton of ice cream and continued to devour its chocolatey goodness. An old movie was flickering on the TV before me, but I wasn't really paying attention. It was hard to focus on anything other than loneliness.
It all played out in my head over and over, how my heart was broken and I turned into this monster, and I wasn't even talking about the werewolf part. I wasn't sure which part bothered me the most: how he was able to leave me so easily or how much it hurt me.
"Leah?" my brother Seth tiptoed into the room.
"Earth to Leeeaaah," he sang out waving his hands in front of my face.
"What do you want, Dipshit?" I snapped back. Seth opened his mouth, slightly taken aback, but was too afraid of what I would do to him to offer any sort of retort.
"Are you sure you don't want to come with me?" he asked hopefully, moving to sit on the arm of the couch above my head.
I just looked up at him and gave him my "are you kidding me" look and turned back to the TV.
"Come on, Lee…it could be fun…" Seth attempted again, pulling on my arm.
I shook my head again, wishing he would just leave me alone for once.
"No Seth, I'm not going to hang out with a bunch of vapid, immature boys and pretend like everything's just dandy because it's not. God, it's bad enough that you're always in my head when I've phased, but I definitely don't want to spend my free time with you," I huffed, hoping my rant had done the trick.
His brown eyes filled with hurt as my words finally seemed to seep into his thick skull.
"I don't understand why you act like this, Leah…you deserve to be happy."
He got up from the couch and turned towards the front door, my heart breaking as I watched him leave and my blood boiling. I didn't understand it either. I didn't understand what the hell it was about Sam Uley that left me so goddamn miserable. I mean, everything with Sam was ancient history…or it should have been.
I ran my fingers through my hair and stretched before getting up from the couch. Tonight, I decided, I would make just another one of several attempts to be what everyone wanted me to be…happy.