Mornin`! :D yet again, I have textified a Hellsing Blooper comic:D This time, its comic number 35, named...Yuri. So, be warned, contains yuriness, of the kinky kind. :D

Link to the original comic: http:// fireheart1001 . deviantart . com/art/Hellsing-bloopers-35-Yuri-138099084 (sans the spaces)

A/N: This one is set in episode 9 of the Anime version of Hellsing:D

DISCLAIMER: I dont own anything! Nothing at all! =D


«You evil bitch! How dare you do this to me! Just wait until my butler gets here.» Integra said, anger and confidence both clear in her voice. She was beeing held by Laura, the Baobahn Sith, and was unable to move. Laura had unbuttoned her shirt and coat, revealing a nice pair of breasts held up by a bra. In response to Integras threats, Laura just smiled. «Your butler is under MY control. He`s the one making sure nobody interupts us.» Integra still smiled, having seemingly spottet a flaw in Lauras plans. «Don`t underestimate the Police Girl. She`ll find a way to get around him and ruin your plans.» At the exact same moment as Integra said this, Seras was caught in Walters wires. «Stop it, Walter! Please, don`t! Please, Walter, don`t! Don`t make me fight you! Stop choking me!» Seras` voice drifted upstairs, and Integras grin faltered. «...You were saying?» the Baobahn Sith asked with a smug smile. «Okay...then Alucard. He`ll come here and kill you in an instant!» Integra said, having lost her confident grin, expecting Laura to have some kind of counter for that one too. «Alucard is currently meeting my boss. And guess what? He`s also a strong vampire who likes to fight.» Now Laura was the one with the smug self-confident grin. There was silence for a little while save the sounds of some struggling betweeen Walter and Seras as Integra pondered how to get out of this mess. «Well, I`m out of ideas.» She admitted, making the Baobahn Siths grin go even wider. «Good, now lets get that shirt and coat off you...»

Grrr.... I cant believe this is happening. Getting molested by a vampire in my own home! Gahh, she`s actually licking my brea....woah....WOAH! That...That actually felt good! She`s definitively done this before...There`s a sensetive spot on my left...OH THAT`S IT, THAT`S IT!! That hit the spot... Damn, that tongue is warm... Mmmm......

A little while later, Alucard popped up just in time to prevent Integra from getting bitten. «I`ve had enough of your mockery, Baobahn Sith!» he said in typical Alucard-style, brandishing the well know I`m-gonna-kill-ya grin. «You...Idiot! Why did you have to interupt us!?» To Alucards great suprise, it was Integra yelling at him, not Laura! «Well, since you`re here, chain this vampire up and throw her into the dungeon.» Alucards face screwed itself into a mighty confused expression. «What?....You sure you don`t want me to kill her?...Well, okay....I guess. You`re the Master.» he said, spreading his shadowy-eye-tentacle things all over the room. «WAIT NO! GET THOSE SHADOWS AWAY FROM ME!!!» Laura screamed as the shadows enveloped her.

«This wasn`t part of the plan!» Laura said, almost to herself. She was chained up in one of the dungeons in the Hellsing Mansion, stripped down to her underwear. Which was pretty skimpy.

«I must say, I really enjoy your company. But there`s one thing you must know about me. I`m a very nice person, but when it comes to kinky stuff...I always like to be the dominant one.» Integra had entered the dungeon, clad in a rather skimpy leather dress, brandishing a short whip and a wicked grin. «By the way, don`t bother trying to hypnotize me. I ordered Alucard to stay inside the mansion. His aura neutralises your spells. Also...» Integras suddenly stopped and produced a red ball-gag. «..here`s a little gag to keep you from biting me.» Integra inserted the gag into the now fear-paralyzed vampires mouth, then gently stroked her chin with the whip. «When I`m through with you, Alucard won`t be the only vampire calling me "Master". Let`s get started, shall we?» Integra said, her voice filled with lust. This isn`t fun anymore! I like to be the one in charge! Laura thought as Integra started to chuckle.

Unknown to the ones in the basement, the rest of the Helling crew, namely Walter, Alucard, Fargason and Seras were watching them on a monitor several stories above. «Wait, so they don`t know we`re watching them?» Seras exclaimed. Fargason clamly explained. «No, Sir Integras father installed a secret camera into the dungeons. Walter is the only one who knew about them.» Alucard and Walter looked exstatic as they watched the show. «This is going to be great! Walter, get us some chairs, quick!» Walter ran to do it, saying «I`m on it, I`m on it!» as he did.

Meanwhile, in Ingcognitos lair, Paul and Incognito was waiting for Laura to return. «I thought you said she`d be back by now.» Paul said. «That was the plan. Hmm, meaby boasting to Alucard about how Integra was in danger wasn`t one of my best moves.» Incognito replied, pacing to and fro on the floor.

Back in the Mansion, all but Seras was sitting on a chair, closely following the action on the monitor. «YEAH! This is better than the Playboy Channel! Walter, get me a bag of blood!» Alucard exclaimed. «And fetch me an ice cold beer!» Fargason piped in, before reverting his attention to the monitor. «What!? Why do I have to? Get your own drinks!» Walter said, not wanting to tear his attention away from the action. «Because you`re the butler! Now, move it! Chop-chop!» Alucard said, keeping his eyes on the monitor. Walter grumbled and swore, but did it anyway. Seras, giving up on trying to find an arguement to get the men away from the screen, just sighed and mumbled to herself. «Men....»