Then I just dropped the stupid thing on the floor and ran offstage, ripping off all of my wires from sound check off of me. I didn't plan on going anywhere, I just felt like I couldn't breathe. I could feel my heart thumping in my chest; my tears clouded my vision, but I just couldn't stop running.
I heard voices calling me, but I just ran and ran until I tripped on something and fell.
I shut my eyes and let the pain swallow me whole.
-The Next Morning-
I slowly opened my eyes to a bright, hot light. It smelled like medicine and older people. I looked down and saw that I was wearing a long, white hospital gown, last night's outfit discarded on a chair beside my bed.
I was wired up to my nose to different hooks and wires filled with iodine, oxygen, and other stuff. My family sat in chairs around my bed, all sleeping uncomfortably. Tears filled my tired eyes as I found Edward laying beside me. I felt under the bags in his eyes, and a tear fell from mine.
He frowned a bit, then slowly woke up. I gasped.
"Bella." He reached up and wiped my eyes.
"I'm so sorry…" I croaked, and cried in his shoulder.
"You have nothing to be sorry about." He curled an arm around me to draw me closer. I felt his warm lips press into my hair, which was probably a mess.
My sniffling woke up Rose, and she looked worried.
"Bella?" she glared to Edward and said, "What'd you do?"
"What makes you think I did anything?" Edward asked, annoyed.
"Well, she's sitting there, crying again, so you must have done something!"
"I've done nothing since I woke up!"
"You been doing nothing since she got raped by your friend!"
We all turned to Alice, who was sitting up against her chair. "Jesus! You two have done nothing but fight since that day in February. It's not helping me, or you, and it certainly isn't helping Bella! So suck it up and get over it, because Bella obviously needs to go to the treatment center we set her up for!"
"Treatment?" I asked.
Everyone turned to me, and I shrank deeper into Edward's chest, his arms tighteneing around me.
Alice glared at Rose, and smiled tentatively at me, "Bella. Do you remember anything of what happened last night?" she asked.
"Yeah, I…." Actually, I didn't know how to explain what happened, without going into hysterics. I took a shaky breath, "I just couldn't hold it in anymore. All the pain and suffering I've been through, it's like…I can't take it anymore! I just can't! I see him everywhere! I cry myself to sleep every night because he's in my head! Get him out!" I was in panic mode, and my heart monitor began to rise.
"Ok, Bella, calm down! Please! Bella!" Everyone drew near me, and I pulled off the bed quickly, running out.
I ran as fast as I could, ignoring all the cries of my name behind me. I ran past the bright, white walls, the sick, coughing, patients and faceless, nameless doctors. Tears burned behind my eyes as I ran, and my legs began to hurt, but I knew that if I stopped, they could catch me. I couldn't let them catch me!
I slipped and fell onto the floor. Shadows filled all around me, and I covered my head in between my arms, my breathing becoming irratic.
Duo of the Prime singer Bella Swan hospitalized after a panic attack in New York last night.
Is she going to rehab?
Does this mean a breakup with her bandmate and boyfriend Edward Cullen?
What does this mean for the band?
Is the band over?
Is Bella a drug addict?
Why is she in the hospital?
Sources say the singer broke down in tears because Edward dumped her during their concert last night.
Live on E! News!
US Weekly reports…
God, SHUT UP! Why won't they all just shut up?!
"We have to tell her now that she's stable." Alice hissed.
I sighed and ran a hand through my messy hair. "I know."
"I'll miss her so much, too, Edward. But she needs help. Serious help. We can't do anything else for her." Rose said.
"I love her," I whispered.
"I love her, too, but she needs this." Rose put a hand on my shoulder.
I nodded grimly.
I slowly opened my eyes to a dim light above me. My head was pounding all over, and my breathing was a little better. I looked down and saw silver cuffs wrapped around my wrists and legs on the bed. It didn't matter if I wanted to leave; I had no fight left in me. Nothing was left in me.
The door slowly opened to reveal Edward, Emmett and Jasper. I tried to swallow my tears away, but they still came.
"Bella, please don't cry, we want to help." Jasper took my cuffed hand.
I looked into his deep blue eyes and nodded slightly.
"You need help. Serious help. Don't you want to help yourself? Don't you want to feel better?"
I sighed deeply. "I don't want to fight anymore," I said in a quiet voice. Even it sounded hollow to me.
My family came in with Carlisle in tow. He wore his white, doctor jacket, so he must have been working as my doctor. Great.
"Bella, Rose has told me that she saved enough money for you to be sent to a treatment center in New Jersey. If that's too far for you, I know a few facilities nearby." He said.
I sighed again, "I don't care. I don't care anymore."
He sighed, "Ok then." He reached into his pocket and took out a key. He walked past everyone and unlocked my wrists and ankles from the silver cuffs. "Sorry we had to cuff you, you really ran away from us back there."
He smiled, and I sighed shakily.
"When will she be let out of here?" Edward asked impatiently.
Carlisle's smile disappeared, and he looked on his clipboard in his hand. "We'll run a few more tests and then we'll let you know."
Rose rolled her eyes, but said nothing.
When I was finally let out of the hospital a few days later, the paps and media outlets showered outside, as well as my house, Edward's house, and the studio. So I couldn't go anywhere until things settled down. I didn't care for them, or anyone really. I was too busy packing to go away to Womenspace Treatment Center in Lawrenceville, NJ for the rest of the year.
My mentality, from the past 6 months, has been completely fried. I didn't care about anything anymore, I just knew I couldn't live like this anymore.
A/N: Womenspace is a real treatment center in NJ. If anyone you know needs the help, check there.
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