Disclaimer: Eric Kripke is the metaphorical father of Supernatural. Not I.

Warning 1: Thou shall not steal. Plagiarism is a dastardly deed. Thank you.

Warning 2: No beta reader. Apologies for everything wrong, including any uncharacteristic behavior of the Winchester brothers.

Warning 3: This drabble is dialogue only.

Summary: Dean's shameless. Sam's mortified. And this is all over caffeine. If they were in Wonderland, think of it as a surreal showdown between the Mad Hatter and Alice instead of between brothers. One guess as to who's Alice.

". . ." - This signifies a moment of silence, or no talking, in the dialogue.

Tea Party For Two

By Jan J. (P.J.P), Little Sister's Keepress






"Sam, I'm busy here. This is hard work."

"Deciding whether to add cream or sugar is hardly stimulating. We are not here for coffee."

"But it's free."

"God, why do you always do this?"


"Everywhere we go you always have to stalk the coffee pot or coffeemaker. Just because it's free!"

"That is so not true."

"All right. Two words: the bank."

"The coffee was just sitting there. It was practically begging, 'Drink me'! Besides it was for the customers."

"We weren't customers, Dean."

"Yeah, but we pulverized that troll. That coffee was totally ours!"

"You mean yours."


"You didn't bring me any."

"Oh, come on, Sammy! I brought you those free fudge cookies."

". . ."

"Okay, I know I had to trip that little girl to get the last ones, but you have to admit that it was worth it. They sure were tasty!"

"This is why I don't like going out with you."

"Well, Sam, that's the last time I ever bring you anything if this is all the gratitude I get."

" . . ."

"Listen, Princess, we're not exactly dukes here. We have to take what we can get."

"But we're not beggars either, Dean! We need to have standards."

"My standards are set to coffee."

"You are unbelievable!"

"Hardy, Sam! Hardy, Sam! You're next."

"Gee, Joe, looks like that's you. Now don't worry. It's just a needle. I'll be right here when you get back, Sammy."

"Dean, I'm not three!"

"Oh, someone's awfully cranky in the morning without breakfast. Hey, there are some complimentary blueberry muffins for patients and their guests by the receptionist. Two's good enough for you?"

"Thanks, Dean."

"I know. You don't have to say it. I'm the best big brother a girl can have."