A/N- This story is set after the episode Something Blue during Season 4. So far, Hush has not happened yet, and I'm not sure if I'm going to include it. Everything before this is according to Buffyverse, so there's no Dawn. If you want me to include something, you can press that neat little green button at the bottom of the page and tell me about it. Reviews would be super awesome, because this is my second Fanfic right now and I'm trying to write as much as I can during Thanksgiving break. Thank you to anyone who enjoys this story.
(Stupid) Disclaimer: This (sadly) isn't mine, even though that would be super awesome 'cuz that meant I would own Spike. But I don't and am super sad [:(], but no worries because I can come here and write all I want about him, which is a plus for all of you guys too.
Chapter 1: Uncertainties
Buffy turned towards Stevenson Hall. She hoped Willow was in their room. She really needed some girly talk right now. Buffy felt guilty. It wasn't a common feeling for her, and she wasn't exactly sure why. It was only a spell. What she felt for Spike wasn't even real. Plus, Riley thought she was joking. He didn't know the truth. She had nothing to feel guilty about. But then why did she feel so bad.
Buffy reached room number 214 and strode in. Willow sat cross-legged on her bed reading one of her magic books. She looked up when Buffy closed the door and placed her bag on her desk.
"How was patrol?" Willow asked putting down the book face down on the nightstand.
"Uneventful," Buffy sounded disappointed. "Not even one vampire. I was so hoping that there would be at least one vampire to hit."
"D'you tell Riley? Or at least lie to him?" Willow asked.
"Ya, I told him that I was playing a joke on him. He caught me looking at wedding dresses the other day and I told him I was getting married to an old guy named Spike. He was kind of upset. But then I found him later and told him I was insane and that I was messing with him 'cause he looked freaked," Buffy explained.
"So everything's good now between you two?"
"Ya," Buffy cleared her throat.
"No it's not. Buffy is it really alright? Don't lie to me," Willow pointed a finger at her. "I know when you're lying to me."
"Well…it's just that…I don't know…there are these sort of feelings…and I…"Buffy began to trail off.
"Ya, I've just been reading on that. It seems that my spell wasn't very specific. Kind of how I willed Giles not to see anything, and then he became blind and then Xander was a demon magnet. Well, those could be interpreted different ways, like Xander could have literally been a magnet, but that wasn't my intention. With you, when I said that you should marry Spike, I never said anything about you two being in love, but that was sort of my intention."
Buffy just sat there with her mouth gaping open. Willow took that as a sign to continue on.
"So even though I willed my spell to end, there may be some everlasting effects. You'll probably still have some feelings. After awhile, anything you feel will be genuine though."
"So that's it? Everything I'm feeling right now was from the spell?" Buffy asked. Willow reassured her with a nod. Buffy sighed in relief.
"Not to be prod-y or anything, but I am the best friend, and as my right to ask, is Spike a good kisser?" Willow raised her eyebrows, clearly wanting an answer.
Buffy blushed. She felt her cheeks heating up and mentally kicked herself for giving Willow the ammo she needed to continue. "He is… um… uh. Wow. Like amazing and…God why am I even telling you this?" Willow giggled, only causing Buffy's blush to deepen.
"So is that a: he's an amazing kisser, I can't stop thinking about him, or an, I can't even describe it in words good?" Willow prodded even further.
"Kinda both," Buffy admitted. "I'm mean, there's a certain way about him, and the way he uses his tongue," Buffy's eyes widened when she realized what she was saying. She leaned her head into both of her hands and moaned. "Just kill me now," She muttered.
"How is this going to reflect on Riley? You haven't even seen what the poor guy can do and here you are busy thinking about another guy. Buffy looked up from where she let her head rest in her hands and glared at the red head. Willow just gave her that you know I'm right smile and Buffy threw her head back so that she was laying on her back.
Buffy thought about what Willow said and knew she was right. That was why she felt guilty. She was getting ready to get into a relationship with a normal boy for once, and she was busy thinking about the undead. Well, a certain undead person who happened to have great lips and exceptional kissing skills. Buffy signed deeply in defeat, mostly for effect, and got up off the bed and began to change for bed. Willow, already dressed in her pajamas, got underneath the covers and picked up her book to the page she left it.
Buffy only nodded when Willow asked her if she could still read for a little while longer. She was too wrapped up in her mind to fully think about it. Buffy sat back in bed away from Willow and continued to think. It wasn't until Willow was long asleep that Buffy began to drift off, Spike occupying most of her thoughts. For once, Buffy slept soundly with a grin on her face.
Spike got as much sleep as he could while chained to a bathtub. His back was relaxed against the porcelain and his head rested on the edge. The chains rattled as he tossed and turned in his sleep. It wasn't necessarily a bad nightmare, but more of an unwelcomed dream.
Buffy stood in front of him with a stake in her hand which rested at her side. He couldn't quite tell what her expression was, but she was looking right at him into his blue eyes. He stared into her unusual hazel eyes. Right then they appeared to be more of a brown. He looked at their surroundings. They were standing in the quad of the UC Sunnydale campus and it was night time. A bright full moon hung high in the sky and shone on Buffy's blonde wavy locks. He let his eyes roam the rest of her body, pausing on her breasts and continuing on.
When he reached her eyes again, she began to speak. "What have you done to me?" she whispered.
"What have I done to you, luv, you're in my dream, remember?" Spike pointed out.
"What have you done to me?" Buffy repeated.
"Luv, enough with the games. I have not a clue what you're mumbling about. If you're gonna blame me for something, and it wouldn't be the first, at least let me know what I did." Spike spoke.
"You made me this way. Made me feel. You've done something to me. And I can't go down that road. I want you to stop whatever you've done to me." Buffy rambled.
"I didn't do anything to you, you bint. It was Red and all her mojo. She did that spell on us. Made us all lovey-dovey. But she undid that spell hours ago, so I don't know what you're talking about." Spike explained.
"I can't feel this way. You're a vampire. An evil, soulless vampire. I'm not going to let myself have these feeling for you. I should have killed you. You were vulnerable and I should have done you a favor."
"Oh, so that's you solution for everything. You don't wanna have to deal with the emotions, she you're just gonna off me, is that it? Well, I'm not going down without a fight, you know. If I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go with my all. And how do you know that I won't kill you first?" Spike took a step forward.
Buffy raised her stake slowly while taking small steps forward. She stopped when she was right in front of him, the stake aimed directly for his heart. Before she could take any action, Spike threw a right hook and hit her squarely on the jaw. Buffy stumbled backwards, dropping the stake at the side.
Spike leaned over her and took each wrist in each of his hands, but before he could do anything. Buffy kicked him in the chest and sent him straight into a light pole. He landed on all fours, giving Buffy enough time to get back on her feet and retrieve her stake. When she was right in front of him, Spike swung out his legs, knocking out hers and making her land on her back. Spike crawled over and straddled her legs with his thighs. He had both her wrists pinned above her head with his hands.
He looked at her then, noticing fear in her eyes and something her couldn't quite distinguish. He leaned over until his mouth was hovering at the base of her neck. He could hear her heart beat getting faster. He kept his position, inhaling deeply and taking in her vanilla scent. For some reason, he didn't feel the urge to bite her, much less kill her.
Instead, her lowered his mouth and kissed her neck softly. He raised his head and noticed her confusion. He bent down again and lightly kissed her on the mouth. It took a few seconds for her to react and then he could feel her return the kiss.
After a few moments like that, they finally broke apart and Spike straightened up. She was still pinned under him and she didn't make any movements to try to get up.
She only whispered one word to him, "Why?"
Spike looked confused for a few seconds. He wasn't sure of that himself. He smirked at her when he saw her face growing more and more curious.
"You're not the only one with feelings, luv. I think I'm falling in love with you Slayer. Buffy I—"
Spike woke up hyperventilating. The chains clicked noisily against the bathtub walls. When Spike stopped the unnecessary breaths he relaxed against the bathtub and looked down. He continued to stare at nothing while his mind raced at lighting speed. He tried to reason with the dream, praying that it wasn't true at the same time.
Spike just couldn't see him being in love with the Slayer. Sure, when he first saw her, he noted that she was a thing of beauty. Truly magnificent really. The way she danced. The swing of her hips to the beat of the music. Even the way she moved when they fought was like she was dancing. He especially loved it when she was angry. Her movements were much more fluid and her eyes always blazed a low emerald.
None of that made it impossible to fall in love with her. In fact, thinking about her like that was making his feelings for her stronger. Wait, did he just confirm he had feelings for her? He hoped that whatever it was that was making him think this way was temporary. This was the Slayer, for bloody sakes. And he was the Slayer of Slayers. He was supposed to be killing her, not have fuzzy feelings towards her. He should be dreaming of torturing her, of tasting her blood. Instead he dreamed of kissing her, of wanting her.
Spike pushed all thoughts of the Slayer out of his head in hopes of getting some sleep. He shifted his position in the bathtub a few times until he decided that it was of no use trying to get comfortable. He closed his eyes and fell into a dreamless sleep.