This one-shot is in celebration of one hundred reviews for my story It's Been Taken. I never thought I'd get ten reviews much less a hundred, so thank you. I appreciate every one of them, especially the more specific ones because they help me the most. And yes I'm aware that I'm being shameless, but that doesn't mean I'm any less grateful. Anyway this was a request from AmIOtaku. She liked chapter four. Heh.


The world was made of deals, deals of all kinds, because people will give and do things to get what they want. People will make deals with themselves, with gods, with crooks, doctors, politicians, soldiers, anybody. The world wasn't made of money or love or anything like that, the world was just a deal and more often then not a bad deal too. His whole life was a deal, with the swordsmen, with Akatsuki, hell even with his own body. His existence was one big deal, he didn't have much that was just him. His body had been his decision but his life had made it into a deal. If things had been different, if he hadn't been part of his clan, a clan in Mist of all places, he might have had a normal life, or as normal as it could have been.

He had been formidable even before his alterations, but his clan, his village had wanted better. They wanted to have warriors of equal skill to the rising Sanin, and guess who was caught in the middle? Just the Seven Swordsmen hadn't been enough, they wanted more, they wanted better. The Leaf had three, why should they settle for seven? No, they would do better, they would have one. One single, solitary mountain of power. They would be superior, and on his back they would do it. On his back they had done it.

At first he had been proud that they had chosen him out of all the Mist, theirs was a truly cut throat society and to be singled out was an honor. Typically in such situations it would be a fight till the bitter bloody end to attain such an honor, and he had fought for it don't think he hadn't. Those weeks prior to his change had been the hardest weeks of his life. No other time, not even when he had taken the chunin or jounin tests, not even when he became Akatsuki did he have more attempts on his life. Ever; and he had killed those bastards, each and every one. He had done it out of spite, out of anger but most importantly to prove that he was the right choice. That he wasn't weak. If there was anything the Mist despised more than the Hidden Village in the Leaves, a village fraught with the 'noble' idiots, it was weakness. And the weak were rooted out and destroyed like weeds.

He had been a good choice, his clan's natural affinity for water and for using aquatic beasts in battle and in techniques made him attractive, but the major selling point had been himself. He was tall, he was strong, he had an abnormal amount of chakra, and he had no problems carrying out orders no matter how ruthless or minute. He was the epitome of the good ninja, he wasn't weakened by emotions so he had no need to damper his feelings to become strong. In fact he loved battle, he had been a berserker even before his change, if anything his transformation only enhanced who he was already.

He wasn't a bad guy, he wasn't a good guy either, he considered himself somewhere in the middle; and he wasn't a monster per say, he looked like one, but he could compartmentalize. He had had relationships, they had been brief to say the least, but he had had them. He liked jokes, he liked competition, he liked a lot of things, but he was able to put that part of himself aside when duty called. That was what made him truly strong, he didn't fight for justice or love or any shit like that, that was weakness. No, he fought when he was told to, or when he trained or when someone foolishly picked a fight with him first. Fighting because of some ideal was hypocrisy at best, because when did fighting ever solve anything? People fought because they liked power and making deals for said power, and he was the perfect example of both.

People who fought because they thought they were being noble just made him laugh, they were just proving beyond a doubt what fools they were. If you really wanted to be noble and good or whatever you'd be a diplomat not a shinobi. Idiots. They were all just idiots with something to prove.

So he had been changed, his flesh manipulated by chemicals, surgery and jutsus. It had been the most pain he had ever felt in his life, but whoever said that getting what you wanted was easy? Nothing was ever handed over on a silver platter, you had to work, suffer and sacrifice for what you wanted in life. You had to be hungry to climb to the top. You had to be reckless and cruel, and here he was at the top. The lonely, bitter and angry top, but he was there and he had the power and strength, nobody could take advantage of him because he had that power. All the power any one person could want, but it came at a price. Before he had had a decent number of relationships, and even after he had as well but they were markedly different. They had all come flocking to him because of the power, because he was a special chosen. It sucked, he had killed most of those whores, and now all he had were whores. Really drunk, stupid whores. It sucked, and sometimes when he had a lot of time on his hands he would sulk and feel sad, sometimes he even regretted his decision. There wasn't a whole lot he could do though, even if Sakura tried the changes to his body were irreversible.

That was the price of power, and he wasn't dead yet so in his book it was worth it. There were still very gratifying moments occasionally, and this was shaping up to be one of them. Well if he thought about it the right way it was gratifying, it was just another deal, but he could always hope. Or imagine, he may be a monster, but he was a decidedly male monster. There just wasn't enough time for soldiers to be people too, but that was the point wasn't it? They fought so 'normal' people could be normal. Well in the past he had, he left because he had had enough of fighting 'for the man' as it were. Just because he liked fighting and never lost didn't mean he would put up with being the lackey. That and the little 'crime' he had perpetrated, but that was a story for another time.

Now he was about to be 'checked out' by a relatively attractive female. It would be fun if not a little strange. Or a lot, he could swear there was something wrong with her head but what shinobi didn't have mental issues? At least she wasn't a freak like Orochimaru had been, that was taking the medical way, way too far. Glad that guy was dead, he had been a serious pain in the ass. He had mostly been interested in Itachi, but that didn't mean he hadn't tried poking around in his personal space too. Not by a long shot, he was one of the few human beings who had seriously given him the creeps, even now from beyond the grave. Ugg.

Anyway, that was off topic, and here she comes. Right on schedule. He set Samaheda against the wall and sat down on the impromptu 'check-up' couch as it were. He had a funny feeling about this, but a deal was a deal. And what a deal it was too.

~O~

He hadn't felt so relaxed in ages, it felt like his muscles were melting, like every bone in his body had never been connected before. It was pure bliss. He sighed contentedly and settled even lower into his couch. Why they had never gotten themselves a medic before now was beyond him. He felt like a new man. Who cared if she was a hostage anyway? It wasn't like they had gone out and nabbed her, Hidan had brought her home. To him that meant honorary member, only catch? Massages, lots of them. He felt muscles he didn't even know he had had.

"Your physiology is so unique!" she made a small noise in her throat, like a growl, "I just wish you would let me take notes."

"You know why we can't do that, weaknesses and secret codes and all that." He practically moaned as he felt his spine crack and fall into place. Her chakra felt very different from what he was used to. It felt cool to the touch and only slightly warm when her fingers brushed his bare skin but on the inside, flowing along muscles, bones and veins it felt like fire. There wasn't a whole lot, by his standards at least, but what she did have seared through him.

"You did some pretty serious things to yourself haven't you?"

"Yeah." He didn't want her to stop, it just felt so good, but he wanted to know if she was doing it intentionally or not. "Why are you making it feel like a massage?"

"What? Oh, well I guess I just soothe bodies automatically now." she frowned and tapped her fingers on his bare back, the way she was so nonchalant about this was pretty funny. "I didn't even realize I was doing it, I have been working at the hospital for a very long time now. It's encouraged to comfort patients, doing that is just one way. Roll over please."

"Are you serious? I'm naked." Did she even realize what she was getting herself into?

"Obviously, are you self conscious or something?"

She laughed as he blushed, maybe she did know... "Come now, you said I could examine you all I wanted and I am going to take full advantage." She smiled down at him, eyebrows arched and coy smile on her face, "If it makes you feel any better I have given examinations to hundreds of naked men. They all lived to tell the tale."

He growled, now she was just being cheeky. How old was she anyway? She couldn't be any older than twenty, she shouldn't make this into too much of a joke no matter how 'experienced' she was. It was just dumb. He rolled over, "No funny business ok?"

"Don't worry I plan to jump you as soon as you're distracted."

He rolled his eyes, he had to at least grudgingly admit she was brave; maybe, probably though, she was just plain stupid. Oh my god! Not that he was complaining, never had stupidity felt so good! He glanced down at where her hands were on his chest, they glowed a faint green as they rested over where his heart was. He could feel her passing through his heart and through his lungs and strangely it didn't bother him in the slightest. She could kill him right now and he didn't care, how stupid was that? He watched as she concentrated on him, it was odd. Of course he got weird looks wherever he went but the looks she was giving him were completely different- studied, meditative, searching. Like he was some interesting book or bauble. It was different to say the least. She didn't even seem afraid or disgusted, just interested. Very different.

She slid her hands across his chest, probing through the layers that made him, him. He had never been so aware of his body before, but each probe of her chakra brought him into contact with more of himself. He could feel each individual muscle, each sinew, each cell, it was actually really weird being so aware of himself. He knew his body pretty well, but now he knew that that was only in the big picture sort of way, Sakura was showing him the details. She sat down and pulled his arm out straight and laid it across her lap, fingers feathering over his skin. The touch was so gentle it surprised him, wouldn't someone in her position try to kill him him? Or at least try to maim him? At least try to run away? And here she was treating him as if he could break, he snorted, as if. All his scars proved quite to the contrary, she was the weirdest hostage he had ever seen. She sent a jolt of chakra through his arm and watched, intrigued, as his hand automatically clenched shut.

"Interesting."

She then bent and stretched it in various directions and then laid it back at his side. She stood over him with her hands on his neck. He flinched, and she looked down at him with a hazy look in her eyes, distant eyes. She made a sound like humming, a consoling sound he realized. She felt her hands up along his neck to his chin and with her burning chakra seemed to flow through his muscles, again he sighed and relaxed. If she was planning to kill him she would have tried already. To be honest he didn't think the thought had even crossed her mind, it was gratifying somehow. Personally he knew that if he had been in the same situation as a hostage he would fight tooth and nail for his freedom, he wouldn't negotiate and he definitely wouldn't be as pleasant as she was being, faked or not. He also couldn't remember the last time a woman had willingly touched him other than whores and kunoichi out for blood. It was a nice change, although a check-up wasn't what he had in mind for a situation like this, but still, it wasn't bad at all.

His breath hitched a bit as she ran her fingers over his lips and then his ears and eyes. Her touch was so gentle, almost like she was being tender, but that was fanciful thinking on his part. He knew it. She didn't seem to notice though, in fact her eyes were closed, and that was good. He could feel her chakra run through his brain, but instead of feeling intrusive or bad it just felt like water, hot water, running over his scalp. He could feel a headache he didn't even know he had dissipate. His more animalistic side was extremely gratified by all this attention, wanted more but he stopped that instinct in it's tracks, the willing touches would stop if he tried to take her. He sighed again half contentedly, if only all deals he made could be as agreeable as this.

He suddenly jerked himself up on his elbows and glared down at her.

"What the fuck?!"

"Hmm?"

"What are you doing?"

He looked at where her hands were. How had she gotten down there so fast? He hadn't even noticed and she still had that faraway look in her eyes. He decided to call it the medic face. Well medic face or not there better be a good reason she was poking his cock. Nice as this was there were certain areas he didn't like being meddled with, and this was definitely one of them. He could see the irony of this, since it wasn't a terribly important organ and he shouldn't be as defensive over it as he should have been defensive over his heart and brain. But damnit! A man had his limits!

She looked confused for a moment and then her eyes cleared and she laughed. "This bother you? How funny is that? I was just checking to see if your... alterations, if you will, were hereditary. No need to freak out I'm not going to castrate you or anything." The small pulse of chakra he felt after this statement was not comforting in the slightest. Really, what did she think she was doing? She was playing with fire, and fire burned, it would burn the both of them. Didn't she know her chakra was hot?

"Well you can stop."

"But I'm almost done." It nearly sounded like she was whining, if only this were in another context, if only, if only. Fire, this was fire, just stop thinking like a man for five minutes here and they could both make it out unscathed. There would be definate consequences if anything happened. She was the doctor and he was the patient, that was it.

"You're done now." He sat up and pulled his legs off the couch. He didn't want to, but better safe than sorry. He had orders not to hurt her because she may 'turn out to be useful' and he wasn't one to disobey orders, well, not usually.

"Wait, at least let me look at your legs!"

He just looked at her incredulously. "This is really all just medical isn't it?"

She snorted, "Of course, you think I was trying to molest you or something?"

"You can always hope."

"..." She looked confused, which he supposed was a lot better than her looking angry or offended. A lot better actually.

"Look, being a giant, deadly, blue man has it's advantages but love isn't one of them ok?" He couldn't believe that he was telling her this, it was humiliating enough having it be true without saying it out loud. Man, was he desperate or what, but it wasn't all sunshine and rainbows being the way he was. The power he had came at a price, and sometimes he regretted it. He looked at her again, he couldn't place the look she had on her face. Silently he lay back down on the couch again, it didn't hurt anything right? He would just pretend like it never happened in the first place. The fire was beginning to burn, but he was more lulled by the heat then burned, yet anyway.

Instead of running her hands down his legs like he had expected she pulled him into a hug. She held him by the neck with her chin on the top of his head and his face resting on her chest. He was completely befuddled. Where was this coming from? Why was the hostage holding him, she didn't pity him did she? He was slightly offended, but she was holding him and it didn't seem to be all that important in the scheme of things anyway. He relaxed into her grip and she stroked his hair.

"You know I never figured that I would be hugging any of you, much less the aquatic anomaly. I guess this means you aren't all inhuman, criminal beasts after all eh?"

"Just don't go telling other people that, they'll think we're going soft or something."

He felt the laughter vibrating in her chest, it was a pleasant feeling. He had made her laugh, and it wasn't hysterical laughing either. He draped an arm around her waist, "Don't get too used to it kiddo."

She felt good against his bare chest, small and soft. She smelled of more than ramen and all that shit from before. Really though, this shouldn't be happening, he wasn't one to be distracted like this, but hell! If he wouldn't take the opportunity anyhow, it wasn't like she could hurt him, too much anyway.

So he pulled her into his lap and kissed her. To hell with consequences! It had been so long since he had had a woman in his arms, a willing, ok, a semi willing woman. He enjoyed her warmth.

Wait... was she? God! She was kissing him back! Today had just turned into a really good day! He thanked his lucky stars or whatever shit dolled out the favors that she wasn't puking or trying to beat him up.

She tasted just as she smelled, like sweat and flowers. It was an odd flavor, but he enjoyed it. He enjoyed it even more when she opened her mouth for him, he hadn't even had to ask. He let his tongue wander her mouth, feeling out the surface of her tongue and teeth, and he let his hands wander around her small body. She was tiny, at least compared to himself. He held her tightly to him and his heart jumped when she ran her hands up his bare chest. Then up, up to wrap in his hair.

He was getting excited and it took a massive amount of effort to keep it from showing. It was worth it though, who knew she could be so accepting or passionate? Her stay was going to be quite the experience, that was for sure. Just another silver lining to the dark cloud that was Akatsuki, heh, that was pretty good. He rubbed little circles on her stomach under her shirt with his thumbs, enjoying the firm yet soft feel of her skin. This was nice, almost too nice. He liked the way she seemed to fit into his hand as though she belonged there. It sent shivers down his spine. That and her warm little hands now resting on his back.

He kissed her deeply one more time before he shoved her swiftly off his lap. Good timing too, because Deidara took that moment to walk into the room; well what did he expect? People were supposed to knock for a reason. He took one look from his sorry naked self to a slightly rumpled and disheveled Sakura, opened his mouth, shut it and left the room. In a hurry too, poor kid, he always seemed to have the worst luck. Unlike him, he thought somewhat smugly.

And damn! If it hadn't just started getting good too! Oh well, from the look of things she would be here for a very long time. He could take it slow, it was probably better that way, and he was out of practice anyway. She seemed like the kind of person who would be worth the effort. Who'd actually appreciate his seeming patience. He loved facing challenges. He smiled a toothy grin in anticipation.

He stood up and looked down at the new object of his desire. She looked embarrassed and confused, it was a cute look on her, she blushed the same color as her hair. He pulled on his pants and flipped his shirt over his shoulder , effectively rippling the muscles of his chest and arms, it was meant to impress her, to show off. It seemed to work too, because she got that hungry look back in her eyes despite the obvious embarrassment. Well he hoped it was more primal emotion than scientific inquiry showing itself so blatantly on her face. He could only hope. But there would be more opportunities to find out, he would make sure of that. He didn't have a lot of experience with women but he knew enough to savor whatever came.

He leaned down and kissed the top of her head, life was going to be a lot more interesting from now on. He could feel it in his gut and his gut was never wrong.

He rumpled her hair and made his exit. This was going to be good too. Really good. Chances like these only came once in a blue moon and he loved challenges. Pausing, he looked back at her over his shoulder.

"Welcome to the Akatsuki, kiddo. Enjoy your stay."