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Disclaimer-I do not own Soul eater or any of the characters as much as I might wish I did.
I promised her from the very day we met that I would protect her. It wasn't something you would promise so lightly, after all, I only had one life to give. But through it, maybe my one life would be enough. I promised her I would die for her, something that I was not looking forward to but something that might come- be it tomorrow or a thousand tomorrows. It was a concept I understood very well. I was the weapon and she was the meister. It was so simple in my head. It was my job to be there and it was a job I would take very seriously for her sake. I was there to protect her. Nothing less. But thinking back now, I do not doubt that I understood what my promise meant. What I do doubt is that I fully understood what part of my consciousness had possessed me to want to sacrifice myself for a girl I had yet to even know the name of.
I promised her.
She woke me up this morning with her usual rap on the door. I was still fast asleep and not really in the mood for the morning routine that took so much time and effort. I pulled the covers over my head to try to block her out but I know Maka. There isn't a force in this entire world that can keep her away. The moment she realized I hadn't moved from the safety of my bed she burst through the door, forcing open my blinds and tugging me from the bed by my ear. I complained and fought her the whole way to the bathroom as she turned on the sink and shoved my toothbrush into my mouth. She told me we were gonna be late if I don't hurry and there wasn't time for breakfast. I argued with her. I was hungry after all. She told me that if I wanted breakfast then I should wake up earlier. I went to shoot something back but she had already closed the door and walked away. I sat there with the toothbrush hanging out of my mouth, rubbing my ear with a small grin on my face.
I could have gotten away from her, but I didn't.
When I had finished washing up and getting dressed she was already waiting by the door with her bag and her books. Her hair was pulled back in those two annoying pigtails. I hoped that one of these days she would realize how incredibly ridiculous they look and just wear her hair down for once. I didn't say this. I wouldn't dare considering the temper she carried with her. For such a small girl, she really packed a punch. Then she handed me two pieces of toast with butter and jam and told me to eat on the way to school. I made a smart remark about how I knew she wouldn't be able to resist and let me starve. She just snorted and rolled her eyes in a way that said she was hiding her smile and I knew there was more than just one reason I kept my harsh opinions to myself. Maka looked after me despite how rude I could be sometimes.
For her, I was eternally grateful.
We walked to school in a not so uncomfortable silence. That was the thing with me and Maka. We didn't need to occupy every moment with words. I didn't have anything to tell her either. Or if I did, it was something I didn't want her to hear me say. I put my hands behind my head lazily, a corner of toast hanging out of my mouth. She gave me a look and I ignored her, turning my attention to a group of girls passing by the other way. They were checking me out. I knew they were. I grinned crookedly at them and winked. They did what girls were best at and giggled, running off to gossip about the hot white haired boy they had just seen. I wondered why Maka wasn't like other girls. She didn't get all excited about stuff like guys and dresses. I had never once seen her go all crazy about any dude. That's fine with me. She didn't seem like the dating type anyways and I hadn't met a dude I thought was good for her. I didn't think there was one in this entire city. I looked sideways at her and saw her nostrils flaring slightly, a pink in her cheeks as she refused to look at me.
I think I had upset her.
I split off with Maka once we got to school. I told her I had to meet with Professor Stein about something. She asked me what for but I didn't have an answer for her. I couldn't tell her what I was working on, not yet and probably not ever. She wouldn't understand and she would order me to stop my private studies with professor if she knew. That was the thing with Maka. She didn't get it that I was here for the single purpose of protection. If she knew about what I had asked Professor Stein to teach me near the start of this semester, she would be angry with me. I would not be able to deal with an angry Maka. What I was doing was all for her even if it meant lying to her and hiding the truth.
It's hard keeping things from her.
I came back around mid afternoon. I'd missed most of my classes and Maka had made it her job to collect all my books for me so I didn't fall behind. She knew I wouldn't actually do the work on my own though. She was in for a long night and not in a very good mood. She was talking with Tsubaki when I found her. I waved and smiled but she ignored me. I noticed the reddening of her cheeks and the flare of her nostrils. I wondered if she was still upset about those girls this morning. I didn't know why this made her so angry. I flirted with girls all the time. Maybe she was jealous that no one looked at her that way. I didn't know. Usually it was easy to tell what was going through Maka's head but today I was at a loss. She was confusing sometimes. She stormed away when I got close enough and left me with a sympathetic looking Tsubaki. I asked her what was up with Maka and she shook her head and told me that sometimes I didn't pay very good attention to what was right in front of me.
I didn't know what that meant but it didn't make me feel very good.
I was pretty wiped after my second lesson with Professor Stein. He says I was getting better at the new skill I had begged him to teach me. He also said that our studies had pretty much extended as far as we could go without exhausting the technique all together. Unlike our other moves, the one I wanted to learn could only be used once and then it would never get any use again. Mostly because what followed it was death. Stein said I had mastered the move as far as I could go in practice and told me to go home and rest. He insisted I only use this move if I had absolutely no other choice. I got the feeling he was regretting teaching me but it was what I wanted.
If it saves Maka's life then it's worth it.
She was already at home when I stumbled in. It was late and I half expected her to already be in bed but she had waited up for me. She was reading on the couch even as I pushed open the door. She didn't look up at me right away like she didn't care but I could clearly tell she was relieved I was back. I told her she should have gone to bed and gotten some sleep and she told me I should have thought of that before I had decided to stay out so late. I told her I could handle myself and didn't need to be babysat. She stormed towards her bedroom and I called after her what was so wrong with her. She insisted on knowing where I kept going and I finally broke. I couldn't keep lying to her when I knew she was assuming the worst of me. I told her what I was working on with Stein and about Soul Sacrifice. She was immediately appalled and against it. That's when the yelling started. I don't really know what we said. I was just speaking out of my anger and irritation. She ended up crying which had me a little guilty and surprised. Maka never cried. She told me she hated me and ended up locking herself in her bedroom. I went to my room and found my dinner waiting at my bedside. She had probably set it there a while ago before I had shouted at her.
I don't even remember why we were arguing.
We didn't have school the next day but I couldn't really sleep after me and Maka's argument. I got up early and sat on our couch watching TV for who knows how long. I kept looking towards her door but I couldn't hear anyone inside. I wondered if maybe she was hungry. Today was my day to cook. Maybe she would forgive me if I made her some breakfast. I knocked on her door but didn't get an answer. I went in to find her bed empty and already made up. She had probably headed out before I had even gotten in the shower this morning. She didn't leave me a note explaining where she was like she usually did.
It was much too quiet in the apartment this morning.
I went out around noon to go try to find her. I thought maybe she had gone shopping. I didn't know what for considering we didn't really need anything at the house and she had plenty of cloths. I didn't know what she wanted but that was the only place I could think of. I called Tsubaki but she wasn't with her where I then persisted to call Liz and Patty as well. She wasn't with any of them. She was nowhere. It got later and later and there was a cold pit in my gut. She had been gone later than this before but there was something wrong.
I always knew when something was up.
It was nearly midnight. The sky was completely dark and it had gotten cold out. Colder than it should have been. I looked out the window and saw the snow beginning to fall and the ice building along the window. It was strange weather. It had been seventy-five degrees this afternoon. Did Maka have her coat? Where was she? What was going on? I couldn't sit and just wait. The pit in my stomach grew heavier and I grabbed my jacket off the edge of the couch and sped out the door.
If Maka was in trouble it was all my fault.
I closed my eyes tightly when I reached downtown with no succession. I was just letting my feet carry me wherever, calling her name loudly and ignoring the faces that watched me from windows, glaring and telling me silently to quiet down and let them sleep. It was much too late for this. How could they understand though? Maka was missing. I couldn't find her. How could they possibly understand? I forced my heart to slow, relaxing my muscles and leaning against a wall where I stood in the middle of the icy road. The wind bit my face and made my body feel numb and lifeless. My fingers clenched and unclenched to keep warm but now stopped as I concentrated. Maka could sense souls so easily. If it were me and not her, she would be able to find me with just a moment of concentration. I wasn't like her. I was weak. I was slow. I wish I could be as strong as her. I wish I could find her. If only. But maybe I could count on our connection. If it was strong enough I might be able to feel her. I might be able to get to her.
If only our bond was strong enough.
I stood for an hour. My nose was running, my shoulders shaking. It was so cold out and the wetness was seeping into my clothing to my skin. But there it was. I felt it for only a moment but it was enough. Her soul. I knew it so well after all these years and the slightest glimpse of it was enough to set me into a flat out sprint toward the sensation. It was warm and hard, completely Maka in every way.
I'm coming for her.
It seemed the closer I got to her, the colder it was getting. The wind grew harsher and the streets quieter till I was in an area of town that seemed completely cut off from life. I hadn't stopped running even as the cold became nearly unbearable. I could feel her so close. I could nearly see her. I turned a corner and realized I could. She was laying flat on the ground, flakes of snow caught in her hair and across her clothing. I was so entranced by the paleness in her face and the motionless of her body that I didn't see the witch right away. When it lowered itself down over her head, a gapping jaw and long squirming limbs the pit in my stomach exploded and I screamed her name. I had never shouted so loudly in my entire life as I ran towards her. I knew it was a trap. Why else would she just be laying there? The witch had been waiting for me. It was a two for one deal. I knew it but I couldn't stop my feet. Maka needed me to protect her. I saw the sheet of ice underfoot but didn't slow. It was a bad choice on my part as I slipped and landed hard on the ground. My head smacked the cement and stars flashed in my eyes.
I don't remember losing consciousness.
My head was splitting when I came to. I was still laying on my back in the ice but my arms would not move. I wondered with a split second of horror if I was paralyzed. Blinking through the fog in my eyes, I could see the web-like chords binding my arms at my sides. Maka lay next to me and her eyes were open, watching me carefully. She was tied up as well. I asked her what was going on. She told me she went out for a walk and ran into the witch. She had been helpless without her weapon though and easily caught. She told me she was sorry for being so stupid and I told her not to apologize and that everything would be fine. We could handle this witch easily enough. It came back around the corner, blood in its mouth against its white teeth. I didn't hesitate as I transformed into my weapon form like I had done a million times before.
It was like clockwork now.
As soon as I transformed, my bonds were cut and I cut Maka's as well, freeing her like I had done a million times before. She was already on her feet, holding me in her frozen leather gloved hands. Her hold was firm like always but I could feel a slight tension of her. I told her to focus and she frowned and said she was trying. I knew she could feel the witch's soul. It was strong. I knew because despite the fact that I couldn't feel soul wavelengths like she could, the power that radiated from the witch was suffocating.
I don't think we can beat him.
We are fighting him. Maka is tiring fast though. It seems whatever the witch had done with her before I had arrived had taken it out of her. She isn't herself and isn't moving quickly enough. She takes hit after hit and there is nothing I can do but beg her to pay attention and to liven up. She tells me to shut up. She tells me she knows but continues to drag along. At this rate I can already feel our soul lengths dwindling. She will not make it to the end of this night if she doesn't pick up the slack. I know there isn't much she can do about it though.
I wish there was more I could do.
The witch laughs and charges up a blue beam along its long tangle of limbs. As the light grows, the ice on the ground spreads along underneath Maka's feet. So the witch is the cause to this strange weather. Then the only way to get out of the snow was to kill it. That was our original plan anyways. I shout at Maka to move. There is no way she will be able to block a hit from this level of witch. He is much too strong. Maka's only choice is to dodge. I thank the gods she listens to me, jumping out of the way as the blast shoots towards us. She catches on a rusted metal ladder leading up to an abandoned apartment over our heads. I can hear her breath rasping as she tries to catch it before we have to move again. For the trillionth time that night I tell her to focus. If she hears me, she doesn't say. Neither of us are counting on the blast turning in the air and arching towards us. It's a direct hit.
I wonder if she will get up.
She looks like she's down for the count. The hit is so powerful. I can feel it searing along my skin. It is a cold burn like someone dragging dry ice all down my naked flesh. It is liquid fire in my lungs and I can't even scream. It doesn't occur to me that Maka got it worse till the pain begins to subside. I look over at her, still in my weapon form and see the witch looming overhead. Maka stands slowly, body trembling. Her wavelength is so unsteady that when she reaches to pick me up, it hurts a little to reconnect. I manage though and hold on tight to her. She can't even lift my blade off the ground. She is much too weak. She lifts as hard as she can. I am not heavy for her. Our bond is so strong that I should be barely like lifting a coin on the street. She is struggling under me though and finally her grasp fails and she falls onto her knees. I clatter down next to her as the witch comes closer. He is laughing.
I think he knows he's won.
I scream for Maka to pick herself up and fight but she is clearly done. I am only the weapon. I can't do much without her. I transform into my human form, leaving my right arm as my demon blade as I crouch over her. I scoop my human arm around her and pull her against me. I tell her to hang on, I was going to get her out of here alive or I wasn't going to leave at all. I pulled Maka over to a wall, leaning her against it softly. The witch is getting closer to us and I can feel the hairs on the back of my neck rise. When he draws up near enough I slash at him. I am only a blade without Maka's wavelength and I ricochet off like I am nothing. I swing again, desperate to protect my meister and he hits me back down with a single opened palm of his large gray hands. I am beginning to understand there is only one way me and Maka are going to get out of this. I had hoped to put this off a little longer but it seems tomorrow came today. She is only half conscious but I can see that she knows what I am thinking. She tells me no but I shut her out. I will do anything to protect my meister.
I will do anything to protect my Maka.
My eyes close as I focus my energy. It is just like I do with Professor Stein in our private lessons accept this time I am not going to stop and pull myself back. It is for Maka. It is all for her. The energy rushes out around me, a gray and white bubble growing around me, a force field of light that draws the witch's attention away from the injured girl lying nearby. My body feels cold but it is a tingling, numb sensation unlike the ice that it was before, my hair blowing back from my forehead. I can hear Maka very distantly calling my name to stop me. She is so desperate. She is so horrified. How could she possibly understand though? I can't live if she isn't with me.
I need her to live for both our sakes.
My preparation is ready. My nerves on end. The witch seems amused and interested in what I am doing. He has never seen anything like this before. I know he hasn't because I am only the fourth meister in history to use this technique. I am not the fourth to know it. I'm sure millions know it, but of how many are truly willing to die for the master that wields them, I am only one of few. I tell Maka this is my fate. I tell her it is my job to protect her no matter what the cost and she insists we are a team and it is up to both of us. She doesn't want me to make this choice. I don't want her to think it's her fault I made this choice.
I understand now.
When I first met Maka I told her I was willing to die for my meister. I was willing to do anything to do my job. I thought I was just being a good weapon. I figured all weapons should act this way. Thinking back now though, if I had been dealt any other master, I don't think I would be here using this technique now. For anyone else, I would be saving my own, but not for her. Not for this ridiculous flat chested, pigtail haired girl behind me. For her I would give anything, even my one life. It would be enough though. It had to be enough because-
"Maka, I love you."
She is crying now. Not like she had when we were arguing but truly crying for my life. I want to console her but if I move, my concentration will break. I am ready to go now. I have been ready for a very long time now. I close my eyes, knowing the witch is growing impatient and less interested now. I can feel him charging up another beam to end us both. It will never reach us though. I am going to stop this before it gets any farther.
I can feel my soul bursting outwards from my body. Black and white lights mixed with the gray touches linger in the air as they tear through the night. It is a move only a weapon can use. It is only a last resort. Maka is screaming behind me. If I am making any sound, I do not know or notice. My vision is darkening but not before I see the witch burst before me, leaving a wonderfully juicy looking soul floating in its place. It is a feast I will never taste against my tongue though this feeling of accomplishment and conclusion are so strong that it doesn't even matter to me. Maka is grasping onto my arms and I don't even know that I had fallen into the snow. The last of my soul is drifting from my body. I can feel it leaving. I wish I could call it back but like Stein had warned me, there was no withdraw once I made the sacrifice to these extents. I gave my soul for her. It was all I had to give and it was enough.
I did it for her.
I wish I could have this moment forever. She touches my face so softly and she whispers my name, telling me I am an idiot for acting so irrationally. It was the only way though. She understands that if I had not used Soul Sacrifice, she would be very much dead right now. I think she wishes that very alternative as she holds me in her arms and knows where I am going is not someplace she can follow. When she tells me she loves me as well, I know this is the finale.
I close my eyes and fly away.
I don't ever see her face again. I don't see her when she starts to sob, rocking my limp body back and forth where a life once had been. When the ice is completely melted away, I don't feel the coldness of her fingers against my pale skin. When the sun comes out the next morning and our friends come to find her still leaning over me, I am not there to hold her and tell her not to cry. I will never hold her ever again. I will never whisper softly that everything will be alright. But everything will be alright. Through time she will never fill this hole inside her where I was supposed to stay forever, but perhaps the hurt will numb away like our nerves did that night in the cold.
Her heart melted tonight like ice.
I promised her from the very day we met that I would protect her. It wasn't something you would promise so lightly, after all, I only had one life to give. I promised her I would die for her - be it tomorrow or a thousand tomorrows, or perhaps maybe even this very night. I was the weapon and she was the meister. It was so simple in my head. It was my job to be there and it was a job I took very seriously for her sake. I was there to protect her. But thinking back now, I know that I did not fully understand what part of my consciousness had possessed me to want to sacrifice myself for a girl I had yet to even know the name of. I know now.
I promised her.
And I do not break the promises I make to people I love.