A/N: Let's see…I was bored and I needed to write another crack drabble. That's all I can say.
"Would you look at that."
"Look at what?" Steve asked, scoping the area to find what Lili was blathering about this time.
"That." the Monacan pointed to a blond haired German who was kneeling on the ground, buckling their left shoe.
"Oh Leo? What about Leo?"
"Isn't he beautiful? His face looks like it was carved by angels."
"…I guess?" Steve cocked an eyebrow at that remark.
"I mean just look at that hair! Such form and color! It beats that helmet hair you see on most guys these days. I swear, most guys either have bowl cut skater hair or hair that is slicked back with so much grease that they can just run their hand through their locks if they wanted to do an oil change."
"My hair isn't that oily…"
"And just look at that chest! What I would give to touch it." Lili's eyes lit up as she saw Leo stand up, chest slightly thrusting out as the German stretched.
"Girls usually don't envy others with smaller chests than their own." Steve mumbled to himself, knowing he was being ignored by Lili. "You got it all wrong. Leo is not a-"
"He's leaving! I'd love to stay and chat but now's my chance!" Before Steve could tell the girl she was making a huge mistake, Lili already left the room.
"That's the third one this week."
Before Leo had the chance to open the door, Lili jumped in front of the blonde, a big grin plastered on her face. "Hello! I don't think we had a proper conversation yet. My name is Emily Rochefort!"
Leo knew exactly where this was going. "Nice to meet you but I really have to get going."
"What's your name? Where are you from? What do you do for a living? Why are you in the King of Iron Fist Tournament? Does this dress match my eyes?"
"Leo Kliesen. Germany. Nothing right now. For revenge just like everyone else. And I guess?" Leo's head was spinning from all the questions.
"Really? That is so cool! Nice to meet another person from the great continent known as Europe! I heard that your country has the best chocolates, which make great aphrodisiacs. We should go out and get some!"
"Close. That's Belgium. And yes they do have good chocolates." Leo backed away slightly as Lili looked like she was about to pounce at any moment. This wasn't the first time this has happened. "Well it was nice talking to you! I have to go now."
"Wait! I know it is too early to ask this but…would you be my boyfriend?" The girl doesn't waste any time.
"Lili." Leo stated. "You seem pretty cool and likable but not like that…"
"There's someone else, isn't there?"
"To be honest, yes. Yes there is someone else."
"Oh my God. I know who it is."
"R-really?" No! It was supposed to be secret!" the pixie-hair blonde's voice started to get shaky.
"I knew it all along that Asuka got to you before me. That tramp! Always getting to all the cute guys before me! Why I never."
"It's not Asuka."
"Oh! Well that's a relief." Lili almost had a heart attack from the mere thought of Leo and Asuka together. "Besides, she is so not your type. I should've known you're Nina's boy!"
"You already asked that!"
"Hey Leo! We're going to be bloody late again because of your need to gossip with the other girls!" Steve yelled from across the hall as he made his way towards the two.
"It's not my fault! They always stop me!" Leo pouted.
"Excuses excuses. Maybe if you didn't dress so androgynously you wouldn't have people playing 'guess who I am' all the bloody time!" Steve scoffed as he gave Leo a swift peck on the cheek. Lili's mouth practically dropped to the ground when she saw the display of affection.
"You did not just kiss him, did you? You…him…no no no. This must be a joke!"
"Lili. Listen to me." the German said sternly. "I am not what you think I am. Heck, you aren't the first person to think that at all. The truth is is that I am a g-"
"Don't say it! I already know." Lili looked like she was on the verge of tears.
"Isn't it obvious? You don't like girls. You like guys…"
"Well of course! I mean, you like guys. Why wouldn't I?"
Lili looked like she was about to keel over.
"I think we should leave her be so she can figure this out on her own, love." Steve whispered into Leo's ear. Before Leo could interject, Steve pulled Leo along with him as they both made their way. As Leo and Steve left arm in arm, Lili's knees buckled as she dramatically fell to the ground ever so slowly.
"It's always the cute ones! Always the cute ones!"