When I woke up it was only to find that I had slept for pretty much the whole afternoon. Another day wasted and yet I was still tired, not as tired as I had felt throughout the day however. I looked at my clock. It told me that it was ten thirty. James would probably have gone to one of the many parties he had been invited to. This made me curious. I ripped myself out of the warmth of my bed and walked over to look out my window. Sure enough, his car was gone. I walked back over to my bed and sat down above the covers. My parents would be sleeping by now. There really wasn't much to do.

I contemplated going back to bed but I figured that would completely set me off my usual sleeping schedule. This was definitely not going to help the whole tiredness situation as is. I sat on my bed for a while just thinking. I thought about nonsense for a while, just trying to pass the time. I even tried to remember what my dream had been about, but this ended in frustration as I realized I couldn't remember as single thought. I ended up failing at this too. I had already wasted half an hour doing this. Then a thought came to me. It was probably a dumb idea but I guess I could go to a party. What harm would be done? Harley would love this idea. I smiled knowing that I was going to be making Harley happy.

I got off my bed and walked over to my closet. I wanted to look nice if I was going to go out at all. When I opened my closet door it was only to find that there was almost nothing good enough to wear. I wasn't much of a dressy person. I must have dug through my closet for about twenty minutes before stumbling upon my super tight and super short blue halter dress. This was definitely party apparel. I stepped into the dress and clipped the straps behind my back. Harley was going to die when she saw me at the party. Of course, I was probably going to pass out when I got there. I was still running low on energy. I took a good look in my mirror. The dress was clingy in all of the right places, low cut in the front. Good enough I thought to myself. It would have to do. I brushed through my hair and pulled the top part into a pouf. It was straight enough to leave down. I grabbed my purse and ran down stairs. When I reached the bottom I realized that I didn't know which party Harley had decided to go to. I pulled out my blackberry and texted her. She would probably never answer back, not if she was at a party. Especially if she happened to be at a party with Seth.

I decided to just go to the Crowley boys' party. They always had the best music. Their house was also only ten minutes away. I walked down the porch steps for the second time today and the cold air hit me again. I got into my car and put the key in the ignition. I thought for a second whether or not I should leave a note for my parents. I decided not to. I would be back before they even got up, and it wasn't like I wasn't allowed to go out. I have free will.

I drove along the twisting roads to the party. When I got there I could see that I had obviously chosen the best location. The house was lit up with thousands of Christmas lights. They lined the way all the way down the long driveway that curved up towards the beautiful house. It was more like a castle than a house. I hadn't been to one of their parties in a while but I was sure that this was definitely not the same house I was use to. I drove up the driveway feeling mesmerized by the beauty surrounding me. The house stood atop of a hill. The grass was cut to the perfect length and was filled with a beautiful flower bed. I was surprised to see the full blooming flowers in the middle of November. The house was huge and made from stone, further adding to its castle appearance. The large chimneys erupted from the black roof. I looked as if the house had been pulled right from a story book.

I parked my car next to a small blue car. I would have to try to remember this location for later. I walked to the huge front doors of the house. It was too loud inside so I knew that no one would hear me knock. It seemed rude to me but I knew for sure that I would have to just let myself in. I pushed the door open and was immediately swept up into the chaos. The music was so loud that I could barely hear myself think. It was kind of annoying come to think of it. I looked around through the masses of bodies surrounding me. I couldn't see Harley anywhere. Maybe I had chosen the wrong party. This thought pissed me off. I was going to have no one to hang out with all night. Great.

I looked around at the scene surrounding me. There was a huge dance floor that was filled completely filled with sweaty bodies. To the far corner of the room was a lounge area in which couples were sitting on couches. It looked like on big make out session. I would be sure not to go over to that half of the room. I walked deeper into the party. Through a white archway it appeared to be less chaotic so I made my way over. It was difficult to push through the crowds of people without getting wept up into the groups. When I entered through the arch way I noticed what appeared to e a snack bar. I made my way over to the snacks. At least I could eat. I was starting to feel a little hungry on top of my tiredness. I found myself stuffing my face with mounds of food. Chips, salsa, cookies, anything I could get my hands on. The taste of the food barely hitting my taste buds before being quickly swallowed. I was acting absurd. My mind seemed to lose itself in the food. I was slipping into a trance. The music swayed me back and forth pulling me deeper into my tired eating frenzy. This was definitely not lady like. I stopped and hoped that no one had just seen me do that. All I really wanted to do now was sit down.

"Hungry are you?"

I whipped around startled by the sudden voice in my ear, breaking me from my trance. Crap. Someone had seen. I hoped it had only been Harley but the voice sounded too masculine to be hers.

"I could get some more food if you want. Haha you don't have to eat so fast though. You might choke."

I turned around and looked up to find Nick Baker staring down at me. He was smiling which made me blush. How embarrassing. My cheeks burned with humiliation. I could feel my cheeks becoming rosy.

"Oh, sorry. Don't mind me. I was just a little hungry. I'll stop now." How lame of me. No excuse could cover my behavior. I began to walk away but Nick's voice caught me.

"Haha you don't have to stop. It was actually kind of amusing. Keep going. I wont say anything anymore." His face studied mine for a moment.

I looked up at him. He was very cute. Taller than me but not huge. He had blonde hair and green eyes. Not as beautiful as Harley's, but definitely very nice. He seemed to glow under the light of the chandelier. I had always thought he was handsome but I never really talked to him much. And now look at me, I was stuffing my face in front of the boy.

"You are kind of cute when you are hungry." I blushed some more at this comment. It seemed kind of random. "Wait haha that was lame. Not really what I meant." His cheeks seemed to redden at his awkward comment. He was cute with his rosy cheeks.

"No it's ok. I get it." I couldn't help but smile. His returning smile was just as nice.

"Want to dance?" He smiled down at me and I couldn't help but say yes.

"Of course." I smiled back at him as he pulled me out onto the dance floor.

There was a fast song playing from the DJ as our bodies swayed back and forth on the dance floor. His hands grabbed my hips which startled me a little bit. I wrapped my hands around his neck deciding to just go with it. We danced like this for what seemed like forever. I was beginning to feel tired again. My eyelids were dropping closed on me and Nick could tell I was falling asleep.

"I'm getting a drink, do you want anything?" His voice seemed soft against the raging music.

"No thanks." I replied in a hushed voice.

"I'll be right back. Don't go anywhere." He quickly pecked my cheek.

I stayed on the dance floor for what seemed like ages. I felt dumb dancing by myself. I moved back and forth out of time with the music. I was falling asleep and I hoped Nick would come back quickly so I could tell him that I needed to leave. I guessed that it had been about twenty minutes since he had left to get a drink. I was just about ready to leave without saying goodbye, I was too tired to dance any longer. Maybe too tired to move. I was startled when I felt two arms wrap around me from behind. His voice came warm against my ear.

"You want to go somewhere and talk?"

Normally I would have said no but I hoped that maybe wherever he would take me to talk would have somewhere I could sit down. I was starting to feel tired again. I was losing it. I nodded my head and followed him through the crowd. He led me up a flight of stairs. This alone should have hinted to me that he didn't really just want to talk. My thinking skills were failing me. I was falling asleep.

We walked down a long hallway to the end of a long line of doors. He opened the door. Inside was a queen size bed and a couch the sat across from it. A bedroom. Oh no. I tried to turn around but he grabbed my arm.

"Don't worry we are just talking." He smiled again. Something felt wrong about his smile now. Something I hadn't seen before. I tried to open my eyes wider but this only made me more tired.

I walked into the room and sat on the bed. He sat on the other side facing me. He was a little too close for my likings. He carefully brought his face closer to mine. I turned my head slightly. It felt weird to be close to him like this. I didn't even really know him.

"You know, you are really pretty." His breath brushed against the side of my face. It was warm and wet. I smelt it then. The alcohol now became visible. How didn't I notice this before? He was drunk.

"Yeah and you are really drunk." I tried to pull away but again he held me where I was.

"We are all drunk babe. Isn't it great.?" his grip was still tight on mine. He had obviously had more than just one drink. His words were slurring and I suddenly felt really annoyed to be in his presence. He wobbled a little and his head smacked into my forehead. Then his body fell on top of me.

"Ouch! Get off me! You are hurting me!" I tried several times to push him off of me but his body weight was too much. I could feel his lips moving against my neck and I wanted him off more than anything. I struggled some more but I was pinned. Finally I found the strength and I pushed him off of me. His body slumped over onto the bed face down. I had never felt more violated in my life. My hair was all messed up and my dress was riding up. I quickly tugged it down and walked out the room as fast as I could. I closed the door behind me. It would probably take him an hour before he even remembered that I had been there and how to let himself out. I needed to get out of here. My head was now pounding from Nick's head smacking into it. I practically fell down the stairs from the pain acting with my lack of sleep.

I was too tired to drive. I knew it would be stupid to even try. I decided to just take a little rest before I left. I walked over to one of the empty couches and plopped down. I popped two Tylenols into my mouth and sat back. I was probably asleep before my head even hit the pillow.

~**~

"Emma?" A voice called into my ear. I opened my eyes to find Harley staring down at me amazed.

"Hey Harley. I was just taking a little nap. When did you get here?" She looked startled. Maybe by my appearance? I tried to raise my head but I suddenly felt the pounding return so I laid it back down.

"I have been here the whole time. What happened to you? Why is there a bruise on your head. You look terrible!" She walked over to me and helped me up. "Are you drunk or something?"

"No, I am just tired. I was going to stay home but then I came here and you weren't here and I hit my head on Nick and then I fell into this chair and-" Harley cut me off. I was babbling.

"You hit your head on what? You aren't making any sense Emma. Never mind. Lets just go home."

I allowed Harley to help me up. I looked around. Besides a few other people we were the only ones here. How long had I slept for?

"What time is it?" I looked over at Harley. She glanced at her phone before answering.

"Almost four in the morning. We really should get home before our parents wake up. This is a little excessive for partying." She walked me out the door. "Where is you car?"

"Umm…I don't really remember." My head was still pounding. I didn't know if I would be able to drive myself.

"Yeah never mind. You cant drive. You can come sleep over my house. We can get your car in the morning." Thank god for Harley.

I got into her car and took out my phone. I sent a text to James telling him that I was sleeping at Harley's tonight. He answered back in what seemed like only seconds. I was too tired to even look at it. My eyes were closing. I was out.

~**~

When I woke up I was in Harleys room on a blow up mattress. I didn't even remember getting out of the car, let alone blowing up a mattress. It must have been Harley. I was warm under the many blankets she had laid on top of me. I looked at the clock. It was eleven. Harley wasn't in the room. Just me. I stayed in bed for a while. I was fully rested now but I didn't feel like getting up. The party came back to me in a swirl of confusion. Why had I even gone to that stupid party? This reminded me about how much my head hurt. It would probably leave a mark. I picked up I mirror that was on Harley's night table and held it up so I could see my reflection. When I looked into the mirror it was only to wish that I hadn't. my face was covered in makeup all mixed together on my skin. My eyes had dark purple circles under them that were puffy and ugly. My hair was all messed up and looked like it had never been combed in my life. The worst part of my appearance however was the black and blue bump on my forehead that was the size of a golf ball. I brought my hand up to my face and rubbed the spot. It hurt to the soft touch of my fingers. Great.

Harley came in and sat on her bed just then. She looked down at me with a look of curiosity and then sadness.

"Your head looks terrible Emma. What exactly happened to you?" Yup. Definitely a mark was left. She looked confused.

"Well I thought it would be cool to go to the party and see you but it just turned into a bad mess. I showed up and couldn't find you. And then I ran into Nick and we got talking. We were having a good time but then he left for a while and I didn't realized that he had drank while he was gone. He started to take advantage of my while I was feeling really tired. He was grabbing me and it was horrible." Harley's face looked sad and upset. "Then he started to get all wobbly and smack! His face hits mine." She smiled a little at this and I was glad.

"You should have come and told me you wanted to leave!" Harley looked upset again.

"I couldn't find you and you didn't answer my texts." I didn't want to make her feel worse. I could have just dropped the subject.

"I'm sorry, I was with Seth." She smiled when she said his name and I could tell that she wanted to tell me her story of what had happened at the party.

"Is there something you wanted to tell me?" I was curious now.

"No no really." She was still smiling. Then she jumped up off her bed out of excitement. She could never hold anything in for too long. "Oh ok fine! Me and Seth are going out. Well kind of dating!"

"Kind of?" I didn't really think you could kind of date someone. It was either a hook up or a done deal.

"Well we got talking last night and he was really sweet and all. We were dancing and having a good time. Then we talked some more and he told me about his life and everything. He was really interesting and I was having a great time. He just looked in my eyes and I looked back into his. It was cute and I thought we were just going to stay like that for a while but then he took my hands and whispered something into my ear. And I was too excited that I didn't even hear what he said to me. So was like "What?" and he smiled and asked me if I wanted to hang out with him sometime. So of course I said yes. Then we kissed and then he just followed me around all night. So I think we are dating. Right?" Harley was talking at one million miles a second which had left her out of breath.

"Haha yeah of course. Totally." Harley is always so funny. Her excitement is humorous. I couldn't help but be happy for her. It was nice that someone had a nice time at the party last night. Even if it wasn't me.

We talked for a while longer. She told me all about what she and Seth had talked about. He seemed like a really nice guy and I was happy for her. Then she decided that I would need to get my car back. She drove me back to the party. She let me out and said goodbye. She said she would call me later. I smiled and then walked over to find my car.

I found it easily enough. There is was. Still next the small blue car. I wondered why it was still here. I got into my own car and shut the door. I realized then whose car it was that was parked next to me.

Sitting against the leather seats was Nick. How ironic. Why does this always happen to me? I tried to look away but it was too late. He had seen me. He got out and walked over to my window. He motioned with his hand for me to roll down the window. I obeyed.

"Hey Emma. Last night was really fun wasn't it?" He obviously didn't remember anything that had happened.

"Yeah, loads of it." I started to roll up my window but he stopped me.

"Maybe we could hang out sometime. You know, go see a movie. It might be fun. What do you think?" He looked serious.

"No thanks."

"Oh come on! It will be a good time." He winked at me.

"I said no thanks." I rolled up the window and took off. No way was I ever going to go out with him. Never.

I drove quickly on the way home. Trying to forget that little encounter. I made it home at around two o'clock. James was sitting on the living room couch watching tv. He looked up when I came in.

"Emma! You partied last night! That's great! Now we can go out and party all of the time. This is so great!" His face was lit up. I started to laugh as I put my book purse down. How did he know all this?

"Harley called me to tell me you were over. She gave me the whole story. Nice outfit too haha." He glanced over me. I had completely forgotten that I was wearing this dress. I must have looked like a stripper with my makeup all messed up over my face and my hair all pulled out in different directions.

"Crap. I need to change." I was walking away when James spoke again.

"Yeah you need to get ready. We are going to Grammas house tonight." This confused me.

"But thanksgiving isn't until tomorrow. Why are going tonight?" I didn't understand why we were going tonight. We always went the morning of. It was only a short drive to my grandparents' house in Maine so it didn't require much time for the drive. I was shocked that no one had told me about the change in plans until now.

"Yeah well we have to go early this year. Spend more time with the family I guess. I know its crappy. But hey, we can go do something fun up there. Go to the beach or something. It'll be cool .I promise." He smiled at me. I knew that he would do everything in his power to make this fun for me.

"Ok. Sounds great." I smiled back and then walked towards the stairs.

"Oh yeah, Emma? I told mom and dad that you were at Harley's all night. They have no clue that you got crunk." He winked at me.

"Haha thanks a lot." I pretty much owed James my life.

I walked to my room and took our my travel bag. I guess I would need to pack for two nights now. I threw together what I thought I would need. Toothbrush, pajamas, extra clothes, makeup, hair products. The usual stuff. I deiced that I should probably take a shower. I knew for a fact that you shouldn't really show up anywhere looking like I did now.

I walked to the bathroom and turned the water on. After it warmed up I stepped inside and let the water fall on my skin. It felt so nice to be in the warmth. A used shampoo and conditioner in my hair. When ii was done I shaved my legs and then rinsed myself with my favorite body wash. I washed my face with a cloth and was surprised to see how much makeup stained the cloth as I rinsed it out. After about twenty minutes I stepped out of the shower and I dried off. I walked to my closet and put on some skinny jeans and a long sleeve shirt. I threw my hair up into a messy bun leaving only my bangs down. I don't really where a lot of makeup so my face only took a few seconds to complete. I put on my eyeliner and then stood back to take a good look at myself.

There they were again. My eyes. Looking back at me. Looking straight through me. I looked down. I walked over to my window to close it. I had left it open before my shower to let in the breeze. It had gotten pretty steamy in here but I was now chilled.

Before I closed it something caught my eye. I looked out. Looked at the world around me. The trees. The sky. Down to the grass that was layered with white frost. I looked at the lush clouds. So fluffy and white. Back to the sky. So bright. So blue. Bluer than my eyes. Bluer than the sea. It was like its own shade completely one of a kind. A new color. Created entirely by itself.

My mind was so lost in the pretty colors that surrounded me that I had barely remembered that I had somewhere to be. To my grandparents' house for thanksgiving. I knew it would be slightly boring but with James it would be a little better. I brought my head back inside the window and then closed it. It was time to go.

"Are you ready to go Emma?" James' head stuck in through my door.

"Yeah I guess. Are you ready to go eat lost of food and sit around with the old people?" My mind had thought of last year about how we had spent almost four hours sitting amongst our older relatives listening to them fight about old people nonsense. It was one of the most boring life experiences I had ever sat through.

" Pshh yeah!" James smiled and then lunged at me. He cought me around the waste and swung me over his shoulder.

"Put me down!" I yelled but I knew it was no use.

"Haha I don't think so. Come on Emma lets go sit in the car." He started to walk out of my room. I then remembered that I had left my bag on the floor.

" Wait we forgot my bag!" James turned around and without even setting me down, picked up my blue duffle bag and slung it on his shoulder.

And with that we were off. He walked out my door and closed it. The last thing I saw was the brightly lit sun shinning in through my window onto my golden bedspread. I smiled.