Yeah so I just got back to writing, mainly my own stuff but after seeing New Moon I've been wanting to write Fanfiction again.

Due to the crappy thing that happened to my account about a month ago (hackage) I wont be continuing Primal Needs.

I know, I know. :(

But the story wouldn't be good. It just wouldn't be me, and without having Primal Needs, the sequel which was titled Primal Satisfaction, wouldn't make sense.

I'm sorry.

But I wanted to start writing again and I refuse to be squashed by a hacker.

So yeah, some random one shot goodness.

I don't really know what the inspiration for this was but hey, its a little angsty lemony fic
Jasper/Bella *yaaaay*

I don't own Twilight or Jasper... unfortunately.

I felt his fingers on my neck as he walked me into the back of my bedroom door. His eyes locked with mine. His gaze was so strong, so enthralling. I knew this meant so much more to him than it meant to me. I felt guilty for using him like this, for giving him what he wanted so much when it was just fun for me. It crossed my mind how much this would hurt in the morning, to pretend as if nothing happened. But he was my best friend how could I not act that way?

Jasper had been my best friend for years. Since we had met in high school. It was clear he had always wanted more than he got but he never pushed it. He was my southern gentleman, and however much I hated the phrase it was true.

He had moved down into drizzly Forks from sunny Texas and right into my History class. I noticed him even though he worked not to be noticed. His wet, dark, hooded jacket clung to his muscular chest as he sat next to me and pushed his wavy blonde hair from his eyes. He folded his hands in his lap and never introduced himself, just kept quiet and to himself. I thought he was adorable.

When we finally talked I found he was funny, and articulate, and creative. His smile was cuter than any I had ever seen and his eyes were a shocking shade of blue. He took the role of friend and I let him.

From then on we were inseparable. We spent days talking and I watched him draw. We had nights camping out and curling up in each others beds. We laughed and cried together. He was there when every relationship I had failed and I was there when his parents kicked him out. We were accepted to the University of Washington and even though he had more promising roads ahead of him he stayed with me, renting an apartment with me and watching bad sitcoms when we weren't studying.

It was hard to think that my incredibly shy room mate was backing me into a door, pressing his body into mine and grazing his lips against my neck. But it had started with a shitty day and a tub of Ben and Jerry's. I had broken up with another one of my doomed romances and this was the aftermath. Jasper and I always had this sexual tension between us that we joked about and laughed off. There had been some near misses over the years, almost kisses and accidental touching. It had never progressed this far. I had been crying over Edward, my latest lover. Ice cream and alcohol were the perfect cure for a broken heart according to Jazz. He had never been okay with my dating Edward. They clashed in the worst sort of way. I had never seen Jasper get so upset about any of lovers, but Edward was different. He was controlling, possessive and needy. Jasper hated that. In fact Edward was so needy that one girl wasn't enough.

Jasper comforted me when I came home sobbing and pissed off and ice cream, wine and beer led us to where we are now.

I wish I could have blamed the alcohol but the bottle had been barely touched and Jasper's beer lay unopened, growing warm in the next room. The truth was I wanted him at that moment and I took him. I was a selfish bitch. I wasn't serious about Edward but I was still annoyed that I couldn't satisfy him. But then Jasper looked at me and his care for me hit me hard.

Was that a valid excuse for what I was doing?

He bit down softly on my neck, causing goosebumps to break out over my flesh and my back arched towards him. I moaned softly and he smiled against my neck. I ran my fingers through his soft hair and I gently tugged his head up so I could kiss him. He was hesitant and shy as he moved against me. His lips were pliant and he ran his fingertips down over my shoulders and down my arms. I let my tongue slide across his bottom lip, begging for entrance and he obliged. His hands grasped me tighter as our tongues met and he moaned into my mouth. I pulled back so we could breathe and his eyes met mine again.

The need surprised me. I wanted him, sure. But I wasn't prepared for the raw need I felt.

I grasped his hair tighter and he licked his lips. I pulled his face to mine and kissed him deeply, letting him feel the need I was feeling. I felt myself being dragged away from the door and I followed him step for step until the back of his knees hit the bed. My hands travelled down his back, over the thin t shirt he was wearing and I pulled the hem up. His fingers traced over my ribcage and went under my blouse. I felt his soft, slow touches as he inched his way under and over my bare skin. I broke the heated kiss to pull his t shirt over his head and I threw it to the side. My hands found their way to his body and I lightly touched his chest. I had thought about how he would look under all his dark clothes, how could I not? But imagining and feeling it were entirely different. He felt amazing. I ran my hands lightly over him and he shivered. I pulled back slightly to undo my blouse so I could feel his skin across mine and he watched me intently. I threw it to the ground and moved to unzip my jeans but his hand stopped me. His fingers curled around my wrist and I looked up to see his expression.

"Bella, are you sure you wanna do this?" he asked, his slight Texan twinge more prominent in his lust. I really hoped he wouldn't ask me that question. I wanted him to go with it and make me forget about things I would rather forget about. I didn't want to say yes and then ignore it tomorrow.

I sighed and looked up as his face.

"Jasper, please, could we just forget about everything? Just tonight?" I whispered. He blinked and dropped his hand from mine.

"Just tonight? Is that what this is?" he asked. I opened my mouth to say something, I wasn't quite sure what. Lying would only make the whole thing worse and I would hate myself if I told him the truth. He must have sense my apprehension because he cut me off. "Okay, just tonight Bella. You're mine, just for tonight."

Before I could think his hands were on my shoulders, dragging my body towards his and pressing his lips against mine. I sighed into his mouth and thanked God he understood. Jasper always understood. I couldn't think about how much this would hurt him, how much he would have to give up when he left my bed in the morning. I dragged my nails along his back softly and ran my fingertips around the waistband of his jeans. In that moment I didn't care about what I would feel afterwards, whether or not the guilt would kill me. I wanted to make this feeling last.

I felt for the button at the top of his jeans and his lips left mine as he watched me undo them. I pulled the zipper down slowly and ran my hand up and down his hard length. He moaned unashamedly and I smiled. His hand plunged into my hair and he tugged it gently as I slipped his boxers and pants down. He sprang free of his cotton confinement and he stepped out of his jeans.

"Do you have any idea how much I want you right now?" he whispered huskily. I wrapped my fingers around him and stroked him lightly.

"I think I do."

He pulled me flush against him and I gasped at his sudden move. That made him chuckle and I felt the air vibrate between his lips and my neck as he kissed me. His hand left my hair and worked to unclasp my bra. It fell to the ground, forgotten as he moved down my chest, whispering things into my skin. My hands found their way into his hair and I bit my lip against the moan that threatened to escape.

His tongue moved slowly over my breast, sweeping over my nipples and making me grip tighter and gasp louder. I didn't even think my body would have this reaction to him, or that he would be this amazing with his mouth. It only made me think about where else I wanted his lips. I moved our bodies closer towards the bed and pulled him down as I fell onto the sheets. Feeling him pressed against me was nothing compared to the feeling of him on top of me. I let my legs fall on either side of him as he moved his mouth between my aching breasts and kissed a line to my bellybutton.

I felt skilled fingers unzipping my tight jeans and I idly wondered how he got so good at this. His tongue swirled around my hip bones as he discarded my pants. His hands ran up my thighs and I arched my back.

How many others had he done this for? How many did I not know about? Why did I feel a pang of jealousy as I thought about him being with someone else?

I pushed all thoughts of him doing this to another woman out of my mind and concentrated on the feeling of him so close to where I wanted him to be. I moaned and he chuckled. I propped myself up on my elbows and he looked up at me from his place, almost between my legs. That was a sight I could get used to, his golden hair falling into his eyes, full of lust as he breathed over my core. I giggled and he pressed a kiss over my panties. What was I thinking? A sight I could get used to? This was a one night thing, a passionate one night stand with my gorgeous understanding best friend who was in love with me. I fell backwards onto the bed and ran my hand through my hair, clutching at it as I felt my panties being pulled down my legs.

"Bella," he breathed. I moaned as he pressed his lips against my inner thigh. His voice was different, huskier than before. It made the fire between my legs ache even more and I bucked my hips towards him.

"Jasper please," I begged. I thought about how that sounded, so desperate, so wanton. I loved it. He chuckled again and his lips caressed my core. My eyes clenched shut as he parted my lips and swirled his tongue over my nerves. It felt so good.

My hands flew to his shaggy hair and I held him place as he kissed and nibbled at me. His hands dug into my thighs and he hummed pleasantly into my clit. I shuddered and moaned. I had never imagined us in this position. I had never thought about how much I was missing by denying him my body. I stuttered his name as he bought his hand over my leg and pushed what felt like two fingers inside me. I arched upwards towards him and cried out as he bought me closer to the explosive feeling I craved. He held my hips down and moved his tongue faster.

"Oh God, Jasper," I breathed. I was close, so close. He moaned into me and curled his fingers as he pumped them inside me. The burn grew in my stomach and exploded all over my body as I came. I screamed and I was sure I pulled his hair a little harder than I should have but I didn't care. I gasped wildly as I pushed my hips to his face. He pulled back and I whimpered slightly at the loss.

"You are so fucking beautiful," he whispered. He crawled up my body and rested between my legs, smiling and obviously proud of his accomplishment. I sighed and hummed in pleasure. He looked at me affectionately and I pushed his hair out of his face.

I like that gaze. I liked that he pushed his arms under mine and held me close to his body. I liked the heat coming from him and spreading over me. I liked the slight smile on his face and the fact that I couldn't help but say his name when he was doing wicked things to my body.

I wanted more.

I wound my arms under his and pulled my body up to his to kiss him. He kissed me back, sweeping his tongue out sensually and I let him pour his love for me through the kiss. I could barely taste myself on his lips and I moaned as he pushed his hips towards my core. He mumbled something against my lips and I pulled back to let him speak. His eyes moved to the dresser and he propped himself up as he reached into the drawer and pulled out a foil packet. I smiled at him and took it from him, opening it with my teeth and rolling the condom onto him. He groaned as I stroked him a little harder than before. He thrust his hips into my hand and I leant up and grazed my teeth across his neck.

"I need you Jasper," I whispered, I was surprised by how true that was. He grunted and his hand pulled mine away. I arched my chest towards his and let my fingertips rest on his shoulders as he guided himself into me. The feeling of him stretching me pleasurably made me sigh deeply into his ear and he moaned into mine.

He rocked his hips gently until he was fully seated inside me and his gasping breaths fanned over my shoulder. I bucked my hips to his, willing him to move and he did. He pulled out slowly at first, letting me feeling every inch of him, but then he thrust back in fast, showing me every single ounce of lust he felt. His teeth nipped me as he started a rough pace. I wasn't complaining. Every stroke, every push of his hips pulled me deeper into the feeling that was taking over my body. My nails dragged down his back, trying to pull him closer to me even though it was impossible.

"Fuck," he grunted into my skin. I liked that too. He never swore and it was only made sexier by the fact I was making him say it. All my senses were on fire. I could taste him on my lips still and I could hear the sounds of our almost frenzied actions coupled with the sound of his grunts of pleasure in my ear. I could see his hair and his skin in my vision and I could feel every line of our bodies pressed together and him pumping inside me.

I rocked my hips towards him, I met him for every thrust. He lifted his head and his movements slowed slightly. His lips crashed to mine and he thrust his tongue into my mouth and I moaned. I felt myself being pulled up and I broke the kiss as he sat back on his heels and drew me onto his lap. I gasped as he pressed into me again and his hands held my hips as I rocked on top of him. I wound my arm around his neck and threw my head back as we moved faster. The way our hips were only drove me faster to my second climax. I craved it and I chased it. Jasper was clutching my upper body for dear life as he drove into me. I couldn't care about the noises we were making, or the wild abandon that was in our movements. I was close and I could tell he was too. Our rhythm became more wild, disjointed, as we raced towards our orgasms. His voice got rougher and his lips travelled frantically over my neck as I writhed on top of him. He pushed harder and it pulsed through me, fizzling over every part of my body. I screamed and snapped my head up, burying it into his neck and riding out the feeling as he kept his pace. Every thrust pushed aftershocks through my body.

"Jazz," I cried as he thrust harshly and we fell back towards the bed. My back hit the cold sheets and I arched towards his body. He was shuddering and gasping as he slowly rode out his own orgasm inside me. The feeling of his body pressed into mine as he came down from his high was nice. It made me feel safe and wanted. He withdrew and I whimpered as he rolled to the edge of the bed and threw the condom into the bin. I didn't want him to leave my room, I wanted him to hold me like he held me just. I didn't understand this feeling but I wasn't going to let him go. If it was just for tonight I wanted the whole night. He sat on the edge of the bed and his head fell into his hands. My breathing hadn't evened out and I was still feeling warm. Jasper's chest was still rising as he took deep breaths. I sat up and wound my arms around him, feeling him startle slightly as I did. He dropped his hands from his hair and he sat up a little straighter.

"Stay," I whispered. I ran my hand over his ribs and pressed my face into back.

He sighed deeply and his face turned to mine. He seemed to deliberate for a second before turning in my arms and placing a searing kiss on my lips. It was desperate and passionate and it killed me because I knew what he was doing. He thought this would be the last kiss, that this would be the one he would have to remember. My Jasper was always so transparent. I felt my eyes threaten to tear up as I kissed him back. The emotion was burning my eyes mainly because I didn't want to hurt him. But there was something else. I didn't want this to be our last kiss, I didn't want him to have to remember this encounter by this kiss. I wanted this again. Being with Jasper was different from being with someone else, it was better.

Maybe it was the fact that we had no secrets between us, everything was open and we were both invited into every aspects of the others life. We fit together perfectly, like we were made for each other. I love the things he loved and he hated the things that made me upset or angry. I had always been in relationships where secrets or lies had torn us apart and Jasper had been in relationships where the girl didn't understand him. But I understood him and he kept nothing from me.

He gasped into my lips and pulled back, tugging my hair lightly and keeping his eyes closed. I wanted him to open them, to see the resolve in my own eyes. I couldn't let this be the last night we had together.

He scooped me close to his chest and lay back against my pillow. I breathed a sigh of relief at the fact he was staying with me and I held onto him dearly to show I never wanted him to leave. He pulled the thin blanket up from the foot of the bed and over our bodies. He kissed the top of head and I snuggled deeper into his arms.

Tomorrow I would tell him. I wasn't sure what I would say to him but I needed to say something. He had to know that this meant something more to me, that it wasn't just some fun that I needed to take my mind off other things. I had felt something with him that I hadn't felt with anyone before. I wanted him to know I would be open with trying something with him. Maybe not straight away, but over time I could see myself in a deeper relationship than what we already had.

I smiled and kissed his shoulder as I thought about what the morning would hold. I only hoped he would want the same thing and that I hadn't wasted too much time.

Reviews are like hugs...

I like hugs...

Jasper likes them too.