I'm a bad bad girl.
I've got four other fanfics on the go and I'm starting a new one! I'm so bad! And stupid! This is just going to infringe on my ability to update even more....but the idea got hold of me and it wouldn't let go....
To clarify, this happens after the Ark arc (lol) but before Lulubell comes to the order and smushes everything to bits. So Allen has his sword, but Tapp's not dead.
D. Gray-man is not mine! If it were, it would be Laven, Laven and more Laven!
Anything for Lenalee
Komui was worried.
Lenalee had a mission coming up in a little over a week. A reconnaissance mission at an all girls school in America. Apparently there might be an innocence hidden there, and it was imperative that an exorcist be sent to retrieve it. However, the school was extremely prestigious, and somehow, it had manage to evade all the rules that said everybody had to bow to the Black Order's every whim. This school was having none of it. The only way they could get an exorcist into Sparrowhawk's Prestigious School for Young Ladies was as a student.
Currently, Lenalee was the only exorcist of the right age and gender, so it looked like she'd be going alone. Alone. Into unfamiliar territory on the other side of the world!
Komui was having absolutely none of it.
To even consider sending little Lenalee to America! By herself! Alone!
"But chief, she won't be alone. She'll have Lavi, Allen and Kanda with her; they just won't be able to go into the school," said Reever, trying to calm Komui down.
"Lies! My darling Lenalee is being sent into a school full of vicious she-cats all by herself! She'll be forced to look for the Innocence and whatever dark force that might be around it all by herself! My poor darling Lenalee! Oh dear sister...."
Reever facepalmed and sent a pleading look at Johnny, who shrugged and then scurried away as Komui's tantrum rose in volume.
Could you believe them? Willing to send his precious sister into the clutches of those horrible, dark, American girls! What was the matter with them! So what ifLavi, Kanda and Allen were outside! It was inside, with those rabid American teenage girls that would be the most dangerous! Oh, he'd heard horror stories. Of girls being scratched to death by mobs of their own kind, of girls hanging themselves because they weren't part of the 'in crowd', of girls being so deprived of boys that they turned to other girls....
Komui let out a little shriek and burst into tears, hugging the latest Komurin model as he sobbed broken heartedly.
Oh the others told him not to worry. It was just school. Lenalee was an exorcist. She could handle herself. She'd be fine. They all said, don't worry. Allen, Kanda and Lavi will be right outside. And you know what Komui said to that? Ha! So what! So what if they're outside! They can't protect Lenalee if they're outside! And they definitely can't protect her from those legions of homicidal teenagers....they can't get in....they're boys....
And then, Komui had what he would later call the greatest epiphany of his scientific career.
A week later.....
"Whoa Allen, slow down wouldja! I can't believe how much you eat considering you're such a little kid!" laughed Lavi, watching as Allen downed his fifth turkey dinner. The white haired teenager swallowed and dabbed his mouth daintily. "I'm not that little, and I didn't eat that much. This is only a snack before dinner," he muttered, brushing crumbs off of his black and white casual wear as he got up to leave the table. Lavi followed, shaking his hair, which was without a headband, from his eye.
"Yeah, a snack before dinner. I'll be surprised if Jerry has anything left for dinner!" chuckled the Junior Bookman.
The boys continued walking.
"We're leaving for that mission to America soon, right?" Lavi asked his friend, fingering his hammer as he thought of the upcoming mission. Allen sighed. "If Komui ever lets us. He's dead set against Lenalee going into that school alone."
"But you, me, and Kanda will be right outside! Oh and Link as well. Speaking of old Two-spot, where is he?" asked Lavi, sniffing as he thought of the blonde Inspector. Allen shrugged and smiled weakly. "Remeber? Link has a cold, so he's staying in bed for the day. That's why you're not allowed to leave my side all day," he said. Lavi blinked and then smiled. "Oh yeah! I forgot! Whoops, hehe. And don't worry about Komui. You know him, he'll probably get distracted by a new experiment or Komurin model and we can sneak out then," said the redhead with a chuckle.
Speak of the devil....
At that very moment Komui appeared, seemingly out of nowhere, with an absolutely angelic look on his face.
Uh-oh, thought Allen. Now would be the time to run....
"Hellooooo Allen-kun, and Lavi-kun," he purred, fluttering his eyelashes at the boys.
Lavi's self-preservation alarms started ringing.
"I have a little favour to ask..."
Allen slowly started inching backwards.
"It's nothing big..."
Lavi began lifting his hammer.
"And it would really help Lenalee...."
The boys froze.
They looked at each other and sweatdropped.
"Well," said Allen hesitantly, "if it's for Lenalee...."
Ten minutes later....
It was officially dinnertime and the dining hall was bustling with activity.
The various researchers, seekers and exorcists currently at the Black Order all sat at their tables or walked to and from the chef's counter.
Kanda, Reever, Johnny, Tapp, Bookman and Lenalee all sat at a table together, something of a farewell get together before Kanda and Lenalee had to leave on their mission. Allen, Lavi and Komui were supposed to be there as well, but they were all missing.....
It was at that moment that Komui burst into the Dining Hall. He looked extremely dishevelled and out of breath.
"Nii-san!" cried Lenalee happily, waving her brother over. Komui positively beamed at his sister and skipped towards her, looking over his shoulder nervously as he did.
"Where have you been Komui, and where's Lavi and Allen-kun?" asked Reever, his cigarette hanging out of his mouth. Komui laughed and sat down beside his sister. "I was just preparing a surprise for Lenalee! It's a farewell gift for her mission!" he said cheerfully.
The table fell silent.
"You don't mind her going anymore?" said Johnny nervously. Komui looked over his shoulder nervously, before turning back to the group and smiling. "Nope! After a weak of painstaking research and experimentation, I have developed something that ensures Lenalee will be safe on her mission!" he exclaimed.
"Oh no Brother, not another Komurin model," said Lenalee, putting her head in her hand. The entire table sweatdropped at the prospect of another crazy, dysfunctional Komurin model.
"No, no, no. Of course not! They don't allow robots at that school! Only students!" said Komui with a sparkly grin.
"Chief....I'm getting a really bad feeling..." said Tapp nervously.
"A bad feeling!" laughed Komui, looking over his shoulder once more.
"There's no need-,"
"Komui, where are Allen and Lavi," asked Kanda, eyes narrowed.
The Chief Officer froze.
"They...should be here soon....they're part of Lenalee's gift!" he said with a crazy grin, looking over his shoulder once more.
"Part of...your gift?" asked Tapp confusedly.
"Yep!" exclaimed Komui. "I have conconcted something that will ensure Lenalee's safety! Or, at least, make sure that she won't be all alone in that wretched school," he said, his glasses flashing.
Lenalee sighed. "For the last time brother, I won't be alone. I'll have Allen, Kanda and Lavi-,"
"Yes," interrupted Komui. "You will have Allen and Lavi with you. Thanks to me,"
"What exactly is that supposed to mean?" asked Kanda angrily.
It was then that doors of the Dining Hall flew open. The entire room fell silent as they turned to look at who had disrupted the meal.
It was a girl, of about fifteen. She had snow white hair that fell to her shoulders in silky tresses and deep blue-gray eyes. Her left eye had a red line running through it, with a symbol at the bottom. A carbon copy of Allen's cursed eye. She was dressed in boy's clothing, in an outfit that looked like it had come straight from Allen's closet. Even with the enraged look on her face, she was a beauty. With a pale, innocent face and eyes so wide they looked like they could contain the sky.
"Whoa," said Reever with a whistle, "Who is that?"
"What a beauty!" remarked the Bookman.
Pervy old men, thought Kanda, they're both much too old for her....she couldn't be more than fifteen. Who is she? She looks really familiar and why is her hair white? And her left eye looks like Allen's! Is she cursed too? Hm....there's something really familiar...especially her eyes....where have I seen them before? I could fall into those eyes....wait, what the hell? Dammit....why do I have a feeling this is somehow that Baka Moyashi's fault....
"KOMUI!!!!" screamed the girl in a surprisingly loud voice. "WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO US!!!!" The girl charged at the table, raising her left hand threateningly.
"Hey! She's going to attack Chief Komui!" said Reever, standing up in alarm. "Oh no she isn't!" said Kanda, pushing his feelings out of his mind. The blue-haired exorcist leapt out of his seat and raced across the dining hall, grabbing the girl and wrenching both arms behind her back.
"OW! Kanda, what the hell?! Let go of me so I can go strangle Komui!" screamed the girl, thrashing in Kanda's grip. Ignoring her pleas Kanda tightened his hold.
"Who are you? How did you get into the Black Order?" he demanded sternly. The girl stopped struggling and slowly turned her head to face Kanda.
"You don't recognize me? Of course you don't. No....why would you suspect....I'm going to murder Komui...." she muttered darkly.
"Why do you keep saying that?! Do you know how much trouble you're getting yourself into by threatening to kill the Chief Officer?" said Lenalee, standing up.
"Why shouldn't I threaten to decapitate, mutilated and decimate Komui?" said the girl softly. "After all...."
She raised her head, her whole body shaking with anger as she looked at the entire population of the dining room.
"HE TURNED ME AND LAVI INTO GIRLS!!!!!!!"
"Wh-wha....?" said Johnny.
"What do you mean he turned you into a girl? And Lavi? What the hell?" asked Reever scratching his head.
"Wait...." said Lenalee slowly, her eyes widening. "Allen?"
"Wh-what?!" said Kanda, letting go of the girl, Allen, and jumping back.
Every jaw in the dining hall was on the floor.
"That's right! Komui tricked me and Lavi into drinking this weird potion and it turned us into girls! He said we'd be helping Lenalee and then he turned us into...into...goddammit Komui! Do you know how perverted this is!" screeched Allen, waving his/her arms frantically.
All eyes turned to the offender.
Chief Komui looked like the epitome of innocence. Calmly drinking the coffee he had stolen from Reever without a trace of guilt on his being.
"Brother," hissed Lenalee, activating her dark boots. "Care to explain?"
Komui put down the purloined coffee and smiled at his sister. "Isn't it obvious? I absolutely could not allow you to go into that dangerous jungle of a school full of wild American girls all by yourself! And Lavi and Allen were going anyway! All I did was change them into girls so that they could accompany you as stu-,"
Komui got no further as a momentous kick from Lenalee sent him flying across the room.
"Brother, I...I....ooh! I don't even know what to say!" screamed Lenalee, absolutely livid.
Komui pouted as he picked himself up from the wreckage of the table that he'd landed on.
"But Lenalee darling, I did it for you-,"
All eyes once again turned to the dining room doors as an angry voice rang out.
Every jaw dropped once more.
Standing in the doorway was a woman, somewhere between seventeen and twenty. She had red hair that fell past her shoulders, curling slightly at the tips. Her left eye was a stunning emerald, and her right eye was hidden behind a curtain of hair. She was very curvy, and the dark blue, long-sleeve shirt and white pants she was wearing fit her very flatteringly.
And her breasts were HUGE.
"Holy crap!" said Reever, blood pouring out of his nose. Tapp clapped a tissue to his nose as his eyes bugged out at the sight of the woman, and even little Johnny had to reach for a napkin.
"L-Lavi?" stammered Bookman, putting a hand to his nose as he felt the blood begin to flow.
"Unfortunately." hissed Lavi, glaring at Komui. "The only reason I'm not pounding you to the ground right now is because I'm having a little....trouble," muttered Lavi rebelliously.
Allen sweatdropped as he realized what 'trouble' the Junior Bookman was talking about. It was the reason Lavi had been so late....
"K-Komui! Wh-what the hell did you do to us?" stammered the newly transformed Allen, looking down at his feminine body.
"How the hell did these get here!" screeched Lavi, looking down at his well-developed chest in absolute horror.
Komui chuckled. "Isn't it perfect? Now you guys can go with Lenalee and protect her at that-,"
"Damn you Komui! Change us back right now!" screamed Lavi. The Junior Bookman began running towards the Chief Director...
Lavi lay flat on his back, stunned.
Allen's jaw dropped in shock. Lavi's boobs had just bounced up and hit him in the face with enough force to knock him to the floor.
"....the hell? These things are homicidal..." muttered Lavi, trying to push himself off the floor.
"Oh...how unfortunate..." muttered Komui, inching backwards as he felt the murderous aura coming off Allen in waves.
"Komui, don't you go anywhere," growled the fifteen year old. The Chief Officer let out a nervous laugh before turning tail and sprinting away.
"Komui!!!!" screamed Allen and Lavi. Allen began to give chase, but as Lavi got up to follow the weight of his newest additions sent him pitching forward to do a complete nosedive.
"Lavi!" said Allen with concern.
Lavi sat up and gingerly touched his nose. "Don't worry about me. I'll catch up in a bit. Just go and get that jackass. We can't let him get away!"
Allen nodded and ran after Komui, leaving Lavi to figure out how to manoeuvre himself without ending up on the floor.
Allen chuckled at the memory, but quickly shut up at the look on Lavi's face.
"Change. Us. Back!" growled Lavi, taking a careful step forward.
Komui stood up and began backing away. "Now, now Lavi-kun, take some time to think about things! Think about Lenalee..."
"Change. Us. Back. Now." Snarled Allen, his voice resembling that of a demon's as he hissed the last word.
"Come now Allen-kun, there's no need..."
"Brother! Give them the antidote or whatever and just be done with it! This is gone on for long enough, and it's interrupted dinner! It was wrong of you to turn Allen-kun and Lavi-kun into girls –not to mention really perverted- and I want you to change them back!" said Lenalee sternly, walking over to force her brother's head to the ground with her foot.
Allen and Lavi walked over to stand beside her, (Lavi doing so very carefully) and activated their Innocence.
"Change us back Chief Komui, before you force us to do something we wouldn't regret in a thousand years," said Lavi, twirling his hammer deftly.
Komui let out a cracked smile from underneath Lenalee's foot.
"Sorry, love to, can't," he said simply.
"What's that supposed to mean?" growled Allen, moving his sword dangerously close to the Chief Officer's head. Komui swallowed nervously but retained his grin.
"Well you see, the potion I gave you doesn't wear off, it needs an antidote. And I haven't made one yet. And I don't plan on making one until you all return from your mission. So you see you guys will be girls forever if you don't go and protect my darling Lenalee!" exclaimed Komui, thrilled with the brilliance of his plan.
"Oooooh! Nii-san! You're impossible!" growled Lenalee, stepping off her brother as she shook with rage. Komui shrugged and smiled as he stood up. "I'll go to any length to protect my precious Lenalee!" he cooed.
"Komui! You're absolutely rotten!" screamed Lavi, rushing at the Chief Officer with his hammer upraised.
Lavi once again lay on the floor, stunned.
"That..." muttered Allen as he facepalmed, "is going to be a problem.
Originally a oneshot, but multi-chapter by popular demand!
Hehe, so there you go. Strange, ney? And, unfortunately, some Yullen. I much prefer Laven, but since Lavi was going to be a girl along with Allen, I didn't see how I could make it work.
So, what did you think? Hit or miss? This is my first D. Gray-man fanfic, so reviews in regards to keeping the cast in character are definitely appreciated. In fact, reviews of any kind are appreciated! Please! Press that luverly green button!
Oh, if you're wondering just how big Lavi's chest is, I'd say it's a bit bigger than Orohime's but not quite at Rangiku's size. (Those are two people from Bleach). Poor boy. Those things are going to cause him nothing but trouble.
Oh! And if you're American, don't kill me! I love America! America is wonderful! I just had Komui be all Xenophobic because I thought it would be funny. Nothing against Americans! Nothing whatsoever! Oh, except when they ask if we have sunlight in Canada or if we ride polar bears to school. That makes me mad. We have sunshine dammit! There is a sun! It can get up to 30-something degrees Celsius in the summer! And we do not have bloody polar bears! (seriously, someone once asked me if I rode a moose or a polar bear to school, and if my dad was a lumberjack. The dude was perfectly serious too. Moron.)
xoxo, natcat5 ;p