A/N: Well it's time for my Christmas tradition... a Christmas crack fic! For those that read last year's "The Night Santa Got Drunk" this take place in the same universe... in fact the story will be mentioned many times. Anyway enjoy the story!
Disclaimer: I don't own Lucky Star, Bleach, One Piece, Naruto, Haruhi Suzumiya or any other anime that appears in this story... and trust me... except a lot of cameos... I wont' be able to list them all... and I don't' want to list them all... I haven't even thought of them yet!
Emma: But I own Mitch and any other OC that might come along in this story.
A Very Convoluted Christmas
By Emma Iveli
Chapter 1: It's Twisted!
One year ago on Christmas Eve, Santa did his deliveries drunk and it was up to Naruto, Ichigo and Luffy to save them.
That has nothing to do with this story, other than the fact it takes in the same bizarre fan universe and will be mentioned several time though this story.
It all started in the house of everyone's favorite punching bag. Minoru Shiraishi reading a book.
That's when there was bright light and some guy appeared in the room.
"Minoru Shiraishi! Don't commit suicide." Said the guy.
"What?" asked Minoru who was clearly confused, "Who are you? And what are you doing in my house? "
"I am here to show you what you life would be like if you were never born!" said the guy, "Oh by the way! The name's Mitch and I'm your Guardian Angel."
"Uh… Mitch I think there was a mix up." Said Minoru.
"I don't think so… let's go!" said Mitch.
And the two of them disappeared.
Meanwhile… on a Pirate Ship… Chopper woke. He was exhausted.
"You okay Chopper?" asked Luffy.
"Well it's Christmas Eve stay strong!" said Luffy.
"Why couldn't she just use that sleigh you got when you saved Santa?" asked Chopper.
"Because it looks too much like a pirate ship." Said Nami appearing behind him.
Chopper began to cry waterfall tears.
Long story short, a month ago Nami began to rent out Chopper to the local Santa… this does not warrant a flash back.
Meanwhile elsewhere in town.
"All right!" said Haruhi holding a camera, "Now there's the huge fight scene with Mikuru and Yuki."
It will now be pointed out, that they were making a Christmas Special based on The Adventures of Mikuru Asahina called Mikuru saves Christmas.
Kyon sighed, for he was the one playing Santa.
"How did we get to this again?" thought Kyon.
This one on the other hand does indeed warrant a flashback.
The S.O.S. Brigade were watching various Christmas Specials. Now was the newest Charlie Brown Special.
"And now we return to "You Think that's Bad Charlie Brown?"
The Spirit of Christmas was showing Charlie Brown other Counties.
"And now we come to Japan! You see the Christmas Spirit is well in full swing." Said the Christmas Spirit.
"So it must be in December." Said Charily Brown.
"No… it's the First of November… due to the fact that there's not that many due to the fact that it's 100 percent commercial." Said the Spirit of Christmas.
(End of TV Scene)
"Oh come on!" yelled Haruhi, "Japan's not like that!"
"Uh…" said Kyon.
That's when Haruhi whacked him in the head.
"I have to say we should make our own special!" yelled Haruhi.
"What is going to be a sequel to the movie, about Mikuru saving Christmas?" asked Kyon sarcastically.
"That's a great idea Kyon!" yelled Haruhi, "The plot will be Yuki kidnapped Santa and now Mikuru has to save him!"
"I was being sarcastic!" yelled Kyon.
(End of Flashback)
"The last day of filming…." Sighed Kyon, "This is will be the thing to get my mind of it."
Meanwhile in the Izumi residence… Konata, Kagami, Miyuki and Tsukasa were talking gifts they got for loved ones.
"So I'm, planning to get my dad that game for Christmas." Aid Konata.
That's when Yui showed.
"Howdy Ho! Yui-Neechan's here!" said Yui… who was drunk.
Minoru and Mitch were watching this.
"So we're invisible?" asked Minoru.
"That's right." Said Mitch.
"Okay…" said Minoru, "You are aware that I have no effect on this situation, right?"
"Um… let's see the next thing." Said Mitch.
Minoru sighed… this was going to be a long day.
Meanwhile at Orihime's apartment, it had been decided that she would spend Christmas with her friends… why.
"So Ichigo doesn't want another Christmas Adventure?" asked Renji.
"There was no Christmas Adventure!" yelled Ichigo.
"Still in denial I see." Said Uryu.
"This is so great! I can't believe that I have someone to do my Christmas traditions with!" said Orihime, "Did everyone bring their costumes?"
Everyone stared at Orihime like she was crazy.
"Costumes?" asked Ichigo with a sweat drop.
"You didn't?" asked Orihime, "Well that's okay! I have costumes for everyone."
"Um Orihime… what are we going to do?" asked Ichigo.
"We're going door to door looking for treats." Said Orihime.
The room became silent.
"Uh…" said Renji.
"Don't say anything and just go along with it…" said Rukia, "It's the furthest we can get from having some sort of Santa Saving Christmas Adventure."
"That never happened…" growled Ichigo.
"What are you talking about?" asked Orihime.
"Nothing…" answered everyone else.
Meanwhile at some department store, Naruto and Sakura were shopping.
"Now I need to get Hinata a gift." Said Naruto looking at his list.
That's when he saw a beautiful necklace that had a crystal blue heart.
"I'm going to buy it." Said Naruto.
"That's nicer than the gift you gave me tonight." Said Sakura.
"Oh… yeah…" said Naruto nervously.
"Why is that?" asked Sakura glaring at him.
"Oh right… the author is a Naruto/ Hinata fan girl." Said Sakura with a big sweat drop.
"It could have been worse… she could be a Naruto/ Sasuke fan girl." Said Naruto with a cheeky grin.
"If only…" said Sakura who began to daydream about Naruto and Sasuke.
"Sakura… Sakura…" said Naruto trying to get Sakura out of her day dream.
"Oh sorry…" said Sakura nervously.
"I forgot you were a Yaoi fan girl." Said Naruto with a big sweat drop.
Naruto bought the necklace, he had it gift-wrapped. That's when they saw the Santa display with Chopper in it.
"Look it's Chopper." Said Sakura.
"Let's go say hi." Said Naruto.
They went to say hi to the little brown reindeer who was in walking point, crying.
"Hey Chopper." Said Naruto.
"Hi Naruto… Sakura." Said Chopper… still crying.
"Still being rented out?" asked Naruto.
"Yeah…" cried Chopper.
"Well hang in there." Said Sakura.
Both of them left.
"Don't leave!" cried Chopper.
But sadly both of them left.
"Why did they leave me!" cried Chopper.
Naruto looked at the gift.
"I don't want to give this in person." Sighed Naruto.
"Why?" asked Sakura.
"I'm, afraid that her dad might kill me." Said Naruto.
"Oh that makes sense." Said Sakura with a sweat drop.
That's when Naruto saw a postal service.
"I'll send it to house with the post service!" said Naruto using the idea.
"Oh… that's romantic." Said Sakura sarcastically.
And so little did Naruto know was that it was going to be the start of a grand adventure!
Next Time: Naruto learns that there was a mix up with the package, Haruhi realizes there's something wrong with the story, Chopper needs a friend, the Bleach Gang Goes Trick or Treating and Minoru still thinks that there was a mix up involving the angel.