Boolia's Christmas Carol
Hey readers, Toadsworth here and since it's almost that wonderful time of year, and no it's not my birthday through that is wonderful for me I suppose. Not the point through, I'm about to tell you the story by that famous long dead British author, A Christmas Carol.
Now hold it! Before you rip this story in half, burn it, play paper airplane with it, let your dog eat or play tug of war with it, throw it into a passing car behind yours, throw it in the river and stomp on it, or do anything like that to this book (which you AREN"T allowed to do), before you stomp away and say "This is bogus! I heard this tale a BILLION times before! This author needs a life (Might I remind you that she's a boo so she'll hunt you forever until you're dead for saying this), let me tell you one thing, this is our story! That's right; this is our adaption to the famous classic! Not his, OURS! His no, ours yes. It's a PARODY, our 'never before heard version,' until now.
Anyways, I'm getting way too far ahead of myself, to start it off, Squidward was dead, dad as a doornail.
Gasp! You say. "Toadsworth" you say, "How can a cheerful holiday story start of with a tragedy? I thought this was a Christmas story, it's supposed to be filled with merry, not a Halloween story that's filled with ghosts, scaries, and dead people."
You may want you money back and I have to remind you yet again that you didn't pay any money to hear this to begin with, FYI if you do, I'll greatly accept it! But I'm probably being too greedy, speaking of greedy; I'm going to tell you about the story about Eugene Krabs.
Now Mr. Krabs and the mourner (me, surprise, surprise), were sadly the only one's at Squidward's funeral. Now isn't that just sad?
And now readers, this next bit of news may disturb you, it may shock you, it may even HORRIFY you (okay, reference from Phineas and Ferb). But I still warn you, so get ready!
Ever since then Mr. Krabs despise Christmas and anything to do with the holiday.
You gasp again. "But Toadsworth," you say. "Who in their right mind can hate Christmas? I mean, who can hate a cheerful holiday with Gingerbread smells, flying reindeer, TV specials, decorating, caroling, snow, sledding, building snowmen, candy canes, wreaths, Christmas Trees, Santa, and getting lots and lots of PRESANTS! Who can ever hate that?
Well readers, allow me to take you on a story telling journey (if you let me). So just sit on your sofa, put up your slippered feet, and drink you fresh Eggnog (if you don't have these) just listen up as I take you seven Christmas Eves later.