LegacyChick, meh, it was better than leaving Randy all alone :P redsandman99, yeah, see, Phil can be good for something. Esha Napoleon, thank you. I luv miss Jeff and Edge, eh, it was different. Dark Fae Angel, that's prolly exactly why they should hook up. It'd keep both of them out of Jeff and Addy's hair, lol. But, Jeff muse's a paranoid nutcase, so.. Yus, Matt is always sexy no matter what ;) Hm, sorry about your Xbox. P.S. I make myself crave candy, hehe.. Seraphalexiel, Dom Matt and Dom Orton=Hottness! XP! takers dark lover, meh, smut always seems to sneak in there when it comes to me. I shamelessly allow it :P AREESHA, glad you loved it. And I've been meaning to do more Randy/Punk actually. // Title spelled that way on purpose.


Rotten: The Sugar Crisis;
Chapter five/ 'Campfire Tails'
Rated; M/ L, (some spooky superstitiousness, and a little angstyness)

Adam sighed as he went through the shit in the back of the van. He had some of his bags back there, and Jeff, Matt and Jay's, Randy's plus the bag Phil had with him when they picked the little annoyance up. If they wished to sleep at all tonight, he'd had to find some way to stack them all so they'd have some freakin' room!

Matt had already made a fire and was poking at the sticks, coaxing the burning embers higher as he sat down on one of the logs. Jay was sitting beside him, looking at a ongoing Phil with a look that could only be of pure irritation. Jeff was busily munching down the rest of his candy cigarettes, for which everyone was sure to pay later, while he sat on one of the logs a place down from Phil. Randy stood idly against a nearby tree. The sparks from the fire silhouetting the younger man perfectly in the dark.

"There have been footprints found and people have heard growling and shit. And that old abandoned hunting cabin in the woods is supposed to be haunted and if you're there of a night at a certain time, you can see ghosts.." Phil rambled on. Not dropping that Sugar Creeks was haunted for a second. "And, oh, the areas around Spooky Creeks glows like toxic waste of a night and of a day is all dark and creepy like it's forever trapped in night."

"It's dark, you moron, because the trees hide the sun." Jay said. The blonde had his arms folded across his chest. The eerie glow from the fire embers illuminating his frustrated and tired features.

"Then explain the glowing, smarty pants." Phil challenged.

"I dunno. Swamp gas? Idiots with overactive imaginations?" Jay shrugged.

Phil ignored him and rambled on. "There's all sorts of monsters and strange shit that happens here. The weather around that lake is fucked up and you can hear voices. People go crazy in these woods."

"And Bigfoot roams around on foggy nights and carries a big club, looking for new victims.. OoooOoohh, better watch out.. They're coming to get you, Philly.." Jeff mocked in a creepy tone as he wiggled his fingers out at Phil.

Yeah, everyone had heard legends. No matter where one went in life, places were going to have their legends and mysteries. But some people, like dear Phil, were taking them a little too seriously. There was evil out there. Pure pure evil. But it wasn't Bigfoot. Even if there was a Bigfoot, he sure as hell wasn't hurting anyone because he was fucking elusive. And people were going insane because.. well, these were harsh ass times. The people had every right to go loco.

"Whatever. Fine. Don't believe me. Just don't come haunting me when Bigfoot whacks you and you turn into one of the poor pathetic lost souls like all his other victims." Phil said bitterly.

Adam chuckled as he watched Jeff mocking Phil under his breath. Randy just shook his head. Matt, Randy and Adam were content to just watch the show.

"Yeah yeah, Brooks. You're full of shit, y'know that?" The younger Hardy sighed.

"Okay, fine. In 2004, a couple went missing in the woods. Authorities found their car completely tore to shit. It looked like something scratched it up while trying to get to them. The windows were all cracked and broken, one of the doors was almost ripped completely off its hinges and blood was found on the seats and the windshield." Phil explained.

"Phil, people read too much into this shit, dude. None of that is real." Jay replied.

"There's also said to be floating trees and rocks. And bushes that follow you around." Jeff continued to mock.

"Stop being a smart-ass, Jeff. I'm being serious here!" The ravenette whined.

"So am I." Jeff retorted.

"No, you're mocking me. I'm talking about a serious matter and you're being a jerkwad." Phil shot back.

"Okay, then why didn't they ever find the bodies? And why didn't I ever hear about such a thing happening?" Jeff asked.

"I dunno. Bigfoot probably took them back to that old abandon cabin and ate them. And you don't watch or read the news, so you wouldn't know anything about jack-squat." Phil argued. Randy covered his face as he snorted a laugh. This was all too entertaining to watch them go at it over complete and utter nonsense.

"So if it's Bigfoot, where do the spooks come into play?" Jeff smarted, a sly smirk playing on the rainbow-haired male's lips.

Phil rolled his eyes. "They're the victims of Bigfoot."

"Then why do people go mad out here." Jeff's smirk got wider as he leaned forward towards Punk.

"I dunno! This place is haunted. They go mad from the ghosts and the voices and from running from Bigfoot!" Phil was getting agitated.

Jeff recoiled and shook his head. "Alright, okay then. If you say so." The younger Hardy picked up a stick and started prodding at the fire like Matt had been doing.

Phil just huffed and began muttering under his breath. He didn't know why Jeff had to argue and be a jackass.

Adam picked up the brown paper bag he had gotten from the store from its special hidden place out of the back. "Alright. Let's all cut this shit out. I'm hungry and way beyond fucking tired." He replied, shifting through the bag in search of something.

"Okay. Creepy bullshit, fire, now I wish we had marshmallows." Jay replied, rubbing his hands together.

"Well, you're in luck, my friend." Adam reached into bag, finding the bag of marshmallows before tossing them at Jay, who caught them in both hands.

Jay stared wide-eyed at Adam, his mouth slightly agape. "I love you." He murmured blissfully before tearing into the bag.

Adam chuckled. "I know."

"Hey, don't eat those like that." Matt scolded as Jay popped a whole one in his mouth and began chewing it up. "You're supposed to roast them."

Jay mumbled something incoherent, his mouth full of the white fluffy gooey treat.

"What?" Jeff scratched his head as he continued to poke at the fire with a stick.

Jay swallowed, licking the sticky off his lips. "I said I don't have a stick."

Upon hearing that remark, Adam snorted.

"Oh, shut up. Perv." Jay muttered, folding his arms.

A couple minutes passed. Adam was still digging through his bag, Jeff had gotten the fire good and ready and Matt had found them sticks for their marshmallows. Jeff was busy singing at the top of his lungs now.

"Oh, Philly crack corn, and I don't care! Matty crack corn, still don't care! Addy crack corn and he is great! Take that, you stupid corn!" The younger Hardy ended by giggling madly as Adam shook his head. "Hey? Hey? If Jimmy cracked corn and no one cared, why is there a fucking song about him?!" Jeff asked, smacking his lips annoyingly.

"I dunno, doll." Adam said nonchalantly as he sat down beside Jeff with the brown bag, crinkling it as he did so.

"Ooh, what'cha got? What'cha got, Addy?! Huh?! Huh?! Huh?! More for me, more for me?! Oh, please!" Jeff went on excitedly, bouncing up and down and clasping to Adam's arm like a five year old on crack.

"Please no more sugar for Jeff. He's killing me." Phil grumbled, taking a sip of his Pepsi before biting into a cookie.

Jeff narrowed his eyes at him. "Shuddup, Phillip. And where did you get those cookies and that soda, Phillip?"

Phil shook his head and scooted away from Jeff, holding protectively to his goodies.

"Hey, um..?" Adam prowled through his bag, perplexed. "I had a Pepsi and some cookies in here for Phil." He looked up. "You little shit, you snooped through my stuff and stole them, didn't you?" Adam accused, pointing at Phil.

Phil shook his head again then looked toward Randy. Randy backed up and looked all innocent and shit. "Wait? These were mine all along?" Phil growled. "Dammit, Orton!"

"What?" Randy shrugged.

"Hey, did I miss something here? One of you assholes stole that outta my bag." Adam piped up.

Phil pointed at Randy. "It was him. He used them against me!"

"And just why would he do that, Brooks..? Unless..?" Adam blinked as the thought hit him.

Phil blushed and glared at Adam.

"Oh, my god! Phil's a slut!" Jay cackled.

"F.Y.I., we already knew that." Matt reminded.

"Ew, Randy, why would you wanna with him?" Jeff made a disgusted face and nodded toward Phil.

Randy slouched. "Can we drop it?"

"No, you bastard! You stole from me to coax Punk into being your personal sex toy! I'm offended.." Adam puckered his lips and tilted his head to the side. "Kind of impressed.." He glared back at Randy. "But still offended! Is that all our friendship means to you?"

"Adam, chill-out, okay. You do the same with Jeff." Randy reminded.

"Hey, watch it, Orton!" Matt snapped. He, of course, was ignored.

Adam raked his hair back and licked his lips. "No, I don't. For one, I don't steal from you. And two, that's just different, Randy."

Randy sighed. "Adam, were the cookies and the Pepsi for Phil anyhow?"

Adam blinked. "Ugh, don't turn this around on.."

Randy interrupted him. "Just answer me. Were they?"

Adam huffed. "Yes. But, that's not the point."

"Okay then." Randy shrugged at his friend.

"Hey, what about me? I was the one who got used here!" Phil whined.

"Oh, you enjoyed every fucking minute of it. Don't lie." Randy folded his arms and smirked.

Phil flushed and growled. "Bastard!" He shouted before getting up and stalking away.

"Good riddance." Matt muttered.

"Don't let Bigfoot get'cha!" Jeff waved.

Phil stopped dead in his tracks and stalked back, plopping back down and letting out a dramatic huff. He folded his arms and glared in front of him towards the fire. "I really hate you guys."

"Awe, we hate you too." Jeff smiled in mock sympathy.

Phil growled and turned away from the younger Hardy.

Randy chuckled and sat down next to Punk, attempting to wrap an arm around his shoulders. Phil only scooted away.

"Awe, c'mon. I'm sorry." Randy cooed.

"You're a dick." Phil grumbled.

"And you're a slut, soooo.." Jeff trailed off deliberately.

"Quiet, Jeff." Adam warned.

Jeff stuck his tongue out at the older blonde. "Meanie."

"You loved it." Randy whispered next to Phil's ear, smirk displayed brightly on his face.

Phil huffed and continued to pout. That so wasn't the point.

--xx--

Later, after all the campfire nonsense, the group decided to finally get some rest. Matt had the drivers' seat laid back as far as it would go and his arms crossed over his chest, out like a light. Jay was curled up in the passenger seat, snoring softly. Adam was behind the drivers' seat in the back, propped up against the wall with one arm draped over his eyes. The other arm was draped over a snoozing Jeff, whose head was laying in Adam's lap as he curled up at Edge's side.

Randy was wedged in the corner on the other side, still awake and watching in amusement as an uncomfortable Phil tried to sleep up on the not-so-wide bench in the back. He was having no such luck and would change positions ever second or so and sigh in agitation and general tiredness.

"Dammit.." Phil said in a hushed whisper and he fluffed his bag under his head in attempting to use it for a pillow.

"Y'know, if you'd stop being so stubborn, you could sleep next to me." Randy offered, talking quietly so he wouldn't disturb the others.

"Go to hell, Orton." Phil muttered before turning to his side. This was bullshit. There was simply no fucking room and the bag under his head already had a crick in his neck.

"Just trying to be nice, jeez." Randy scoffed, snuggling back into the corner.

"You call anything you did tonight nice?" Phil raised up and glared at him.

"Oh, c'mon. It was just sex. I see how you look at me." Randy smirked, raising his eyebrow.

Phil shook his head and laid back down.

"Oh, what? Are you telling me you didn't enjoy it at all?" Randy's arrogance faded to confusion.

"That's not the point." Phil grumbled.

"Then what the hell is then? You got your cookies and soda out of it. You do the same when it comes to Jericho. You'd prolly do the same with Adam if you could guarantee Jeff wouldn't brutally murder you." Randy pointed out.

"That's not the point, Randy. Just shuddup and lemme sleep." Phil retorted stubbornly.

Randy straightened up, intent on not dropping it. "No. It's the truth, Phil."

"No, it's you being an asshole, Orton." Phil sat up and ran his hands through his now tangled up hair. "You don't get it. I know what you and everyone else thinks of me. I'm a slut. I get it. But, you never stopped to think this slut had any feelings. Least Jeri doesn't.. doesn't.." Phil sighed and looked down at his sneakers. "I don't have the same shit with Jeri that Adam and Jeff has, okay. It's strictly business."

"So? Me and you were business, right?" Randy asked confused.

"Oh, forget it." Phil turned to look up towards the front.

"No. I must be missing something. I thought you and Jeri were an item." Randy inquired.

Phil scoffed. "Yeah. Jeri's alright and all. And Jeri takes care of me.. but.. You just wouldn't understand.."

Randy folded his arms. "Why not? I'm not as big an asshole as you think, y'know."

Phil looked back at him. "Oh, really?"

"Really. Besides, I only.." Randy looked down uncomfortably and took a deep breath. "I only used the cookies and the Pepsi to get at you because I knew they could only be for you and I thought if I had some sort of something to offer you then.. then you wouldn't shoot me down."

"So you were planning on making a move on me all along?" Phil blinked.

"Yeah, I guess. I dunno.. I'm sorry, if that's any consolation. I didn't mean to make you so upset with me. I didn't think you'd mind." Randy shook his head.

"I liked you, Randy." Phil almost said too softly. "I have liked you for sometime. You didn't need to bribe me and make me look like a jackass in front of them." Phil said motioning to the sleeping occupants of the backseat with his head.

Randy waved it off. "Awe, don't worry about them."

"Yeah, too fucking late now anyways." Phil replied bitterly.

"I said I was sorry. If I could take it back, I would." Randy said, looking down at his nails.

Phil looked at him dumbfounded and on the verge of being crushed. "So, you didn't.. I wasn't.. it wasn't that... to you..?"

"No. Not that. I don't regret that we fucked.. I'd of just went about it in a different way is all." Randy replied, picking at some dirt under his thumb nail.

Phil sighed and nodded his head. "I was a hooker, y'know. I was one of Kane's hookers before the whole mess with Lita and Edge went down and before Kane stopped pimping and shit. Jeri liked me and he pulled a few strings and paid Kane off and shit and got me out of it. I was lucky it was done so mutually so Kane and I didn't have bad blood out of it. And Jeri didn't have to be on Big Red's shit-list. Plus, Kane got too distracted with Lita to care about me anymore anyways."

"Shit, Phil, we all have our unflattering pasts. Adam has the thing with Matt and Amy, Jeff's a slutty hyper addict, Matt has homicidal tendencies and nearly got sent away for stalking and beating the hell out of Adam, Jay's done things he's not proud of as well as I. And I owned that strip club.. big mess that shit was..."

Phil was about to ask about Randy's strip joint before Adam snorted tiredly.

"Would you two lovebirds shut the fuck up and either go to sleep, or let me sleep?" The blonde said groggily.

"Sorry, Adam." Randy whispered as Adam turned to his side and settled down beside Jeff, grumbling something incoherent under his breath as he moved Jeff in front of him in a way where he was spooning the younger man from behind.

Adam yawned and nuzzled his face in the back of Jeff's neck as his arms locked around his Enigma's waist. Jeff sighed cutely in his sleep, but was otherwise undisturbed by any of it.

"We need to get sleep anyway." Randy moved a bit over and motioned to the spot beside him. "Care to join me?" He smirked.

Phil sighed deeply before crawling down beside Randy. What choice did he have? He was uncomfortable any way he turned. Randy wrapped an arm around the smaller male and pulled him close, smiling as he felt Phil's arms wrap around his waist and his head snuggling against his side.

"You promised me earlier we would cuddle later anyways.. and it's later.." Randy whispered against Phil's ear.

"Shut up, Orton." Phil groaned.

Randy smiled and kissed the top of Phil's head.

--xx--

The next morning, they were ready to hit the road again. Adam went through the dashboard from the drivers' side. Jeff was in the passenger seat and the rest of the gang were holed up in the back.

"Asshole stole my lube too. I had to slick Jeff up last night with my tongue." Adam muttered, ignoring how bright Matt had turned in the rearview mirror from the back.

Jeff folded his arms and glared at Adam. "And that was a problem?!"

Adam looked over at the smaller male and nearly gulped at the icy glare he was recieving. "Well, no.. not at all, Jeff.. I just.. uh, sorry, hun..?" He slouched, looking like a child who had been caught doing something wrong.

Jay raised up from the back behind Adam's seat and patted his friend's shoulder in mock sympathy. "That's it, get thine self in the dog house. Real smart."

"Yeah, I'd talk, Jay. You're always in the dog house." Adam replied, adjusting the mirror and grinning back at Jason.

"Boy, I will smack the fuck outta you." Jay glared.

"Ha! Yeah, right. You wouldn't dare. And even if you did, you'd just run away screaming afterwards." Adam grinned wider.

"Then he'd hide behind Matt." Randy smirked from his position on the bench. "Then Adam would run screaming from Matt like the girl we all know he is."

Adam narrowed his hazel eyes back to Randy. "Shut the fuck up, Orton. I am not a girl! Ask Jeffrey."

"Hey, don't pull me into the shit." Jeff replied, holding his hands up in defense.

Matt, who had been biting the shit out of his tongue, finally let out an agitated sigh. "Can we please stop this nonsense and get this shit on the road before I die of boredom?"

"Yes, please?" Jay agreed.

Adam huffed and put the van in gear before pulling out to get back on the road.

"Total girl." Randy whispered over to Phil beside him on the bench.

"I heard that!" Adam shouted.

Jeff giggled and Randy stuck his tongue out.


Damn Punk muse, angsty little shit. All Phil's little ramblings about the woods being haunted were cracks at real-life (take that lightly) myths/mysteries/etc concerning the GTA; San Andreas game. Bigfoot, the ghosts, hearing voices, the glowing areas (they do actually glow). The story about the couple was made up by me, inspired by the 'ghost cars' that look beat to shit. For awhile back there (before I started writing for here and just out of laziness since we had already beat the game) me and my cousin searched for all that shit that we found on the 'net (mainly you tube) concerning Bigfoot in the game and whatever. We never found Bigfoot or any other monster, or did we hear voices, or see ghosts. But we did find a floating tree and floating rocks.. and tons of glitches.. Sorry, I've been in a spooky shit mood. Jeff's little 'crack corn' song (least that particular version) came from Futurama ('Bendin' in the Wind' episode) The line about why there was a song about it if no one cared.. I could'a swore I saw that line on someone's profile once...