Pairing: H/Bouo, H/W

Summary: Kissing all around.

Rating: General-ly silly.

He's kissing his ball.
Scratch that. Didn't mean to imply that House is a contortionist. Or a nudist.
He's kissing his red and gray ball. It must be fuzzy. They match.
"House, can you quit with the oral fixation for a minute and listen to me?"
He stops sucking face with the inanimate object and, lifting his mouth from the fuzz, looks at me. "Wha-a-t!? Can't you see I'm thinking?"
"I've been trying to talk to you for days."
"What's stopped you?"
I try to think of something that will shock him, throw a wrench in his works, sabotage that razor mind and grind it to a temporary frozen-in-its tracks halt. Something clever yet suave and subtle...What would Alan Alda say?
Fuck it! "Lust."
House stares at me with eyes getting rounder with every step I take toward him.
Just call him Snowman. Frozen by me.
I reach him. "Forget the damn ball." And remove the object of affection from his hands, laying my palms on either side of Mister Scratchy.
"I'm a way better kisser."



Based on this photo:


And this wonderful art by zer03908: