A/N: I would like to thank HappyHappyJoyJoy for kicking off the chapter. The first five lines are hers so don't blame me if they're horrid. Lol jks.

Minerva stops the mad BB + Mr. Fibbles
Minerva: Okay, will everyone respect me as a main character now?
Everyone (except for BB she's knocked out) looks at each other
Everyone: Nope *raises weapons of torture*
Minerva: Damn.

BB: OK! Now it's my turn, bitch!

BB stands up and socks appear in Minerva's mouth.


Everyone stares at BB, BB starts laughing manically


A hundred zombies appear out of nowhere to nowhere again and all started that authentic slow-moving-body-parts-falling-off-swarming-zombies-thing

Everyone appears about five hundred metres away, Minerva's screams echo across nowhere.

VC: Nice.

Holly: why are the zombies all slow, zombies are WAY freakier when they're fast.

Opal-who-isn't-a-ghost-anymore: No WAY! There tends to be only a few zombies when they're fast, but hoards of slow, falling to bits zombies are CLASSIC!

Artemis: Yes. When their victim gets slowly surrounded with no way out, priceless.

Mulch: I dunno, fast zombies are pretty freaky, have you seen that mud man movie House of the Dead? They were all stuck on an island and only two survived and one turns out to be a zombie.

Skulduggery Pleasant with gun in hand pointing at BB: HEY! I KNOW YOU! WHERE THE HELL AM I???

Holly: woah, calm down!

VC: yeah, we're just having a chat – hey, is that Minerva person screaming her last? Last screams are ALWAYS the best.

Everyone listens to Minerva's death throws.

SP: Nice. *put's gun away* you come up with the zombies, Greaya?

BB: I'm not Greaya here, this is an AF fan fic.


VC: Don't worry, we're her favourite.

BB: No I'm not, AF was on the scene LONG before SP.

SP: right, I'll do you for that. Valkyrie, my well trained puppy, ATTACK!

SP attacks but stops in the middle of it when he notices VC glaring at him.

VC: I'm your what?

Foaly: *whistles* now you've done it.

BB: I'll let you two sort this out alone.


SP & VC are gone

The zombies start towards the group.

Butler: BB?

BB: *sighs* THIS is why I made them slow, zombies freak me out. Alright everyone, grab your guns.

Holly: WHAT?! Just get rid of them!

BB: Can't, Mrs. Fibbles brought them to life, me and Mr. Fibbles got divorced.

Everyone (except for BB): WHAT?!

BB: Grab your guns, one shot to the head should do it.

Artemis: I do not have a gun.

BB: *stares*

BB: Then you're fuc*ed

Opal: neither do I!

BB: then you're fuc*ed, too.

Butler: I have a spare gun!

BB: good, give it Holly.

Artemis & Opal who are watching the zombies slow approach fearfully: WHAT? WHY?!

BB holds up three fingers

BB: She's a better shot

Index finger goes down

BB: Her gun doesn't work against zombies

Rude (I don't know other name) finger goes down

BB: She's the preggers here.

Holly: hey!

Foaly: It's true

Opal: what about us?

Mulch: as BB said, you're fuc*ed

Butler: wow, those zombies are slow.

Holly: what about Foaly and Mulch?

Foaly: set gun's to kill. I am SO technologically advanced

Mulch: I nicked Foaly's spare gun

BB: Oh, that one's in range, and so is the one behind him and now the one behind him

BB casually raises her gun, aims briefly and blows three zombies heads' of with the same bullet.

Holly: Nice.

BB: I try, I'm better with a longbow, though.

Artemis & Opal fall to the ground sobbing

Foaly: Oh, don't be such babies.

Artemis: easy for YOU to say! You've got a gun!

Holly: I've told you AGAIN and AGAIN Artemis, always bring a fully loaded gun to nowhere, BB's crazy.

BB: She's right. It's your own damn fault.

Holly: *looks at Foaly* I look after my husband, you look after your pet psych-bitch

Foaly: agreed:

The zombies come on in full force