Hmm…what is life? Clearly something that I can't have or never will have. I can't have it, because I deserved to be punished. For what? I have no idea. All I know is that I am punished. A life sentence (ironic, isn't it?). Something that was once rightfully mine was taken 'away' from me because of…fate.
My fucking fate. A so-called path chosen for me that I have absolute control of. You'd think it would be crazy but it's not. It's never fucking wrong; it's always right. Always fucking right! Stupid, stupid fate! You probably don't get what my problem is. Well, I'll break it down to you. When I was young, I would love to read fairytales and would always describe my life as a fairytale.
I was once a princess, who had a happy life with her supportive family and the love of her life.
The love of my life was taken away by my cousin, who happened to visit the kingdom just when my love declared his love for me. But of course that all came crashing down when he fell for her. It was like 'love at first sight' or whatever.
Broken hearted and alone, filled with so much anger and pain, the princess transforms into a huge monster (a dog or wolf, if you will) along with fellow brother, which causes the king to have a heart attack and die. In other words, the king was killed by just the sight of his daughter.
Now, the princess is bitter, bitchy and resentful that she is no longer claimed as a princess and is forced to work for the dogs (no pun intended), but only to find out to be working under, ex love of her life.
There you go. I'm a total Greek tragedy, ain't I? Except I don't die in the end. But who knows? It can easily be changed… if I had a choice.
I guess that's when I stopped believing in fairytales or love. Apparently in werewolf dictionary, the word 'love' is replaced with the word 'imprinting' which has given it a whole new meaning and ultimate hatred from me. Imprinting is supposed to be everything to us; it's magical. Ugh, give me a break. Only if I was warned before or someone whispered to me, "Hey, your Sam will fall for your cousin because of some wolf magic and leave you all alone. Then you'll turn into a giant menopausal dog, which in the process will kill your father." I think things would have been a lot better if life was this easy. Who said it ever was easy…or ever fair? Well not for me, at least.
"Leah! Leah!" a booming voice came from behind my door, along with loud thumping of my door. What did he want? Does he not know about my privacy? Does he want to die? The door looked like it would fall off its hinges, if he didn't stop already.
"What is it, dork?" I yelled out at the door as I rolled over onto my stomach, and narrowed my eyes at the door when my annoying baby brother (well, very large and big looking baby brother) pushed open the door and skipped in. I know we're family and shit but man, he sometimes is too optimistic for his own good (it's annoying and really gets on your nerves, at times).
"Hey, come on. We have to go" Seth announced, ruffling his now short hair and bouncing on his feet, like he had to go to the bathroom. You see what I mean, when I said too happy for his own good? It's creepy.
"What do you mean by 'we'? I don't take orders from a 16 year old" I shot back at him and slowly pulled myself to a sitting position. I know it was a long shot, but I didn't care. I do not take orders from anyone. No one.
"We need to go. Today is the meeting with the Cullens, remember?" Seth said, crossing his arms across his chest. That name. Those people. I felt my hands grip tightly on my bed covers. I hated them. I didn't need to know them or meet them to hate them; I think I had well enough reason. It was just disgusting even fraternizing with those…those things. The sole reason why everything in my life came crashing down. I felt a shiver run up my spine, as my breathing started to come out in hard and raspy breaths.
"Why…should I care about the Cullens?" I spat out of spite. I brought my eyes up to my brother, who suddenly tensed up as well.
"Leah, don't do this now. You know we have to meet them. It's for Bella's sake…for Jake's" Seth explained, planting his hands inside his pockets. Bella. Another reason to hate my life. I don't even care, let alone like Bella Swan. She's the reason why the leeches are still here. I don't even know what she or for the fact they saw in each other. Forbidden Love, my ass. And to top it off, Jacob Black fell for the leech lover. He is such a sucker for love and a total idiot. He wouldn't let her go at any cost because he loves her. Oh my god. That boy was born, brain damaged. And he was supposed to be the rightful alpha of the La Push pack? Psh, he's a pathetic excuse for an alpha; as well as Sam.
"I am not going to be a pathetic guard dog for those bloodsuckers" I snarled at my brother. I will not fight for these things that I wanted to see die. This is ruining the reason we exist (Thank Jacob for that).
"Leah, I know it's weird but we have to do this. It's our duty" Seth replied.
"Our duty?" I snorted and rose to my feet. "You're kidding me right? Our duty is not to risk our lives for those things that are already dead within. Our duty is not to put our lives on the line for those things that are the main purpose for our transformation. And our duty is not to sacrifice everything for those things who we don't even give a shit about!"
"Leah, for once in your life think about others, other than yourself! They are in as much danger as we are" Seth said with annoyance. Of course, they are in danger since the Bella chick is the one that brought it on. And guess who got us into this suck fest? Yes, Jacob Black (that dipshit).
"I don't think that Cullens are claimed as people" I huffed, crossing my arms across my chest and gazing outside the window, into the dark sky.
"God Leah! Do we have to go everyday like this? I mean, come on! What happened to you, Lee? We argue more than we used to. This is crazy" Seth grumbled, holding his head in frustration. I felt my jaw tighten as I moved my angered eyes back at him.
"Everything happened…everything" I hissed, between my teeth. I saw Seth's face soften as he dropped his hands drop down and sighed. He knew what I meant. He was there when it all happened. He knew it very well, and yet he asked me.
"Leah please…look past it. These people need our help right now. Do this for Jacob at least" Seth sighed, crossing it across his chest. How can I look past this when it stares at me, right in the face? How can I look past it when I have to keep seeing and keep being reminded of it?
"Why would I do this Jacob? I couldn't care less about him than I do for Bella" I snorted, planting my hands on my hips.
"You used to be friends, you know" Seth stated.
"Well, that was a long time ago and things have changed…don't you think?" I spoke. I really didn't care, or wonder about Jacob and why should I? Sure, when we were young, we used to hang out but that was before I lost everything and he was on cloud nine over that leech lover.
"Come on Leah, don't make it as hard as it is" Seth groaned, dropping his hands in annoyance.
"I'm not. I'm making it easier. I don't want to do any shit involving these leeches" I snarled, feeling the hatred towards them surge through me again.
"Well you have to come. Sam ordered that we all should be involved and that it would advantage us" Seth explained, looking at the ground at the mention of Sam's name. 'Sam ordered'. That's all I've being hearing since I joined this wolf pack. Being ordered, being controlled, being forced to work underneath the one you loved and hated the most and who caused you, nothing but pain.
"Advantage us? How so?" I questioned.
"Well according to Jacob, one of the Cullens seems to know of a strategy that would help us defeat the new-borns since he has done it before" Seth uttered. Killing their own kind? Pure monsters, they are. But who can blame them? They were meant to die; the reason for our existence.
"Well I bet you guys won't need me. Thanks but no thanks. I'm not getting into this death sentence. Go tell Sam, I'm out" I huffed, slumping down onto the bed again. I prefer to work solo. Being alone and abandoned, has that effect on you and I've got used to it. I'm the only one who cares about me and I'm my own boss. Just when Seth was about to open his gob, a loud and deep howl emerging from the depths of the forest, piercing through the small openings of my window. Seth and I gazed at the forest, knowing exactly who it was. I felt my annoyance return as well as a small tinge of pain, run through my veins.
"I'm guessing that's a no" Seth sighed and gazed at me again. I moved my gaze to the floor this time, and clenched my fists as well as my jaw. I had to go and I couldn't stop myself. That was the alpha calling, the alpha command that no one could disobey. See what I mean by working with the dogs? It really is the pits. The fact that you're merely a puppet being dangled by your ancestors and their morals to protect their land from the 'cold ones'. And here we are today, actually helping the 'cold ones' just to protect a mere mortal. Great.
I let out a frustrated growl before pulling myself off the bed and glaring at the brother. He looked at me with sympathetic eyes before leaving my room, gesturing me to follow. I dragged my feet after my brother, getting ready to face those things. I don't even know why me and my brother even got involved in this? Oh right. Cause we had no other choice. This is the fate that our "amazing" ancestors picked for us. My life was already screwed up so I guess it was no surprise (well for me, at least) but why Seth? Why my baby brother?
I mean, I look like I hate him and don't care shit for him but the truth is that, I fear for his security. I mean, he's so young and he had a whole life ahead of him. Me, I lost all of that long before it was possible. But for him, he thinks it's the best thing that ever happened to him. He has no idea, does he?
"Come on Leah. We have to phase" Seth announced. I then realized that we were in a small forest clearing that was covered with over grown trees which almost covered the black sky.
"Am I going to let you see me undress and phase?" I shot at him. I know it was a cheap shot, but I was just so pissed at everything right now (I had a reason). Seth made a disgusted face before sighing and walking off in the other direction and into the bushes. I let out a frustrated sigh before slipping off my shorts and shirt. You have no idea how this felt like. To be the only woman to undress in public and turn into a giant dog. I had to go commando since Sam said it was fast. I mean what the fuck? I ran my hands through my hair, ticked off. Oh yeah, he even forced me to cut my hair, claiming it was best. My hair which was till my shoulders was now a bob. Like I said, controlled by the alpha command.
I took in a deep breath and let it out, before feeling that familiar shiver run up my spine again. It got stronger and stronger, till my body started to physically shake, quite violently. In about a minute, I felt myself explode almost out of my skin and into fur, letting out a small snarl as I came on to all fours. I shook my grey fur, before hearing another ripping sound from the bushes. This is how I lived now these days, if you call it living. This is my fuck-up "life". And here I was now, going to see the leeches that are the reason for my being.
Looks like the bitter harpy has joined in his voice snorted in my head. See how my life is so tragic? To live in the mind of these jackasses and hear their every thought, intention, secret and other shit.
Shut the fuck up, Black I snarled, as I started to follow their scent. I dragged my paws, digging them deeper into the earth as I started to get the view of another small clearing. I saw that russet wolf emerge in front of me, just as annoyed as I was. Why is he annoyed? He's not the one who is forced to protect a leech lover.
No, but just seeing you, can totally ruin anyone's day he huffed, rolling his overly large wolf eyes at me.
Good, at least you know how I feel when I see your face I shot back, stomping my paw on the earth. We both threw each other irritated snarls before another thought interrupted.
Jacob, Leah, both of you stop. We have to go now his alpha voice rang in both of our heads. We both shot each other a glare before running towards our 'alpha and pack'. This is who I am, people. And this is the real jest of my life and how every day I wished I was dead. This is who I've become.
I'm Leah Clearwater; the bitch, the bitter harpy and this is the animal I've become, which will live with me, forever.
Here you go you guys. My new short Fanfiction, 'Fading Shadow' (I shall explain the title in the next chapter). This is set during Eclipse just before, the pack meet the Cullens for Jasper's new-born fighting lesson.
This is my Leah/Edward Fanfiction which I decided to write since someone suggested to continue 'Heart Of My Guardian Angel' because she thought that a Leah and Edward Fanfiction is really interesting and different. It really is so I decided to give it a shot. Edward is not yet introduced (duh) but he will and you'll see what I have in mind for these two. This chapter was suppose to be longer but I decided to shorten it, as an introduction and the next chapter would be when you see Leah's views on the wolves, her feelings for Sam, her rivalry with Jacob, and when she meets the Cullens.
I hope you liked this chapter and remember that this was during her bitter state so he detests the pack, rivals with Jacob, teases Seth but cares for him; hate loves Sam and absolutely hates leeches. The next chapter will be out in a while and I'm taking a small break from MD (just a reminder). So I hope you look forward for the rest of this story.
Reviews are just amazing and I'll love you for it =D