a/n: I can never write anything that makes sense without first writing something that makes infinite sense. I disclaim any rights to Stephanie McMahon or anything WWE-related.
brown wedding dresses.
It was wide and stretched her lips so far it almost hurt, her teeth flashing for only a second as she felt the breeze move right through her, pushing her hair behind her shoulders and behind her like a lush brown train on a wedding dress.
She lifted herself by her arms, leaning over the rail and stretching as far as she could into the inky night and she wasn't afraid.
She wanted to laugh, wanted to burst out of her tasteless dress and out of her own skin and fly. She wanted to burst at the seams and become the wind, become the ever changing wind and become the ever constant nothingness.
She laughed. A strong, giddy sound that reverberated throughout her core, making her arms shake as they held her weight above the rail. If they loosened she would surely topple over and be free and giddy all she wanted and maybe free off this dress and this tasteless place.
Maybe if she fell her hair would trail behind her like a lush brown train on a wedding dress. Except wedding dresses were white, silly girl.
"I want to be you," she whispered to the wind on her face and maybe it understood and she pretended it did. She pretended it did and she pretended it answered back and said, maybe some other time, you still have so much to do in that flimsy body of yours. And she scowled, and shook her head to rid her thoughts of voices whispering.
"I want to be you," she repeated, "anyone but me."
But you still have so much left to do, it repeated and she sighed the wind right out of her body.
"Let me be you," she said, she asked, she pleaded without begging.
Let me be you, it answered back and she was satisfied with the response. An exchange, she thought and held herself precariously above the rail, the wind beckoning her to the bottom. The pull stringing her over the edge like a puppeteer strings their puppets.
"Anyone but me," she said, her arms shaking and she laughed again before it died somewhere in her throat.
Anyone but you, it confirmed, settling her flurry of thoughts.
"Anyone but me," she declared softly and she wondered what falling would feel like.
Maybe her hair would trail behind her like a long lush train on a wedding dress.
But wedding dresses are white, silly girl, the wind said, chiding and it pricked her skin.
"You're just the wind, what the fuck do you know?" she asked, a little annoyed and let go of the railing, using the free hand to wipe at her face but her other hand buckled with the weight and all she could hear was the wind's laugh. She had forgotten how long she had been standing there, holding her weight up with her exhausted arms.
You're silly, the wind said, laughing and pricking her skin with its voice. You're silly.
Her stomach met with the cold steel railing and she was suddenly upside down with her hands clutching at the railing desperately. Her feet were trying to find purchase before they went over the railing along with the rest of her body and the wind only laughed at her, and pricked her skin teasingly.
You're so silly, it repeated.
I know, she thought and fought vainly not to fall.
You're so silly, it repeated and pricked her skin.
Do you ever lie, she asked and her palms were sweaty and her grip was futile. The ground was below her somewhere and she would get there soon enough.
Oh always, the wind said and pricked her skin.
"Stephanie!!" and she couldn't grasp anything other than the wind's reply, even as two arms hauled her back over the rail, her legs clumsily landing on solid ground, her exhausted arms falling lax beside her and her cloudy eyes falling shut and all she could think about was the wind's words.
She wanted to know if her hair would trail behind her like a long, lush train on a wedding dress.
You're so silly, the wind said but it stopped laughing.
You're a liar, she thought, such a damn fool liar. I was ready to give you everything, ready to give you everything.
You're so silly, the wind repeated but it was laughing again.
"Hey, hey, Stephanie... can you hear me?? Stephanie, God damn it, answer me woman!!" and she was shaking but it was just the wind, pricking her skin. She had wanted to give it everything. She had been ready but it was only a damn fool liar. She opened her mouth but not her eyes, and the wind stole all her words away.
Those are only for me, the wind said, laughing. I want to be you, it said.
But you lied to me, she thought, I don't want to be you anymore.
But I still want to be you, it said.
You don't want to be me, and she could hear her voice except it wasn't her. It was the wind. Stupid, stupid thing. Liar.
I want to be you, it said. And her voice was suddenly laughing, bursting giggles from somewhere deep in her chest, robbing her of her breath and grins. Her laughter wouldn't subside and her heart couldn't keep up. Laugh, laugh, the wind leaving her body, leaving her soul.
Why are you laughing, she asked and everything was a calm storm in her head.
Because you're happy, it explained.
You're a liar, she asserted.
Oh, always, it said.