Mother Nature 022

Genre: Romance, Humor

Pairings: Danny/Sam

Rating: T

Story © Phantom Misfit

Danny Phantom © Butch Hartman


Lady Samantha Manson silently cursed the long hem of her frilly gown. It had been enough trouble as it was, and now it had caught on a branch and she was forced to tug it free, ripping it in the process. The damned thing was slowing her down, the layers of fabric weighing as much as she did, leaving little maneuverability, especially when walking outside, in the forest, where anything could catch it or cause it to drag. The forest wasn't overtly dangerous unless you were wearing a death trap, like she was, and if she wasn't, she admitted it would be a very beautiful scene.

'Danny, once we're out of here, I'm going to kill you,' she vowed to herself, eying the enormous stone palace that was disappearing from view as she ran. He'd been the one to convince her she needed to wear a dress - he'd claimed it would help her fit in among the royalty at the castle. No one was to know she was really a spy.

She had once been a princess, living in the lap of luxury. She'd been showered with diamonds, pampered by servants, and fed gourmet meals every day. Along with all these riches, however, was complete and utter boredom. She felt selfish admitting it, but sometimes she was bored to tears. She knew how many other people needed the things she didn't even want, and that drove her to run away to do something with her life. She wanted to help people, and to be useful. She didn't want to be just another royal, sitting on her lazy butt eating bonbons all day and watching the world go by.

That's how she came to meet Danny. She'd been staying with a friend in another kingdom and she'd run into him by accident. She'd come to find out, through sneakily spying on him urged on by curiosity, that he was a spy for King Pariah. He was a noble knight, sent by King Pariah to the kingdoms and castles of families suspected of doing dirty business in trading and banking. If they turned out to be guilty, he would report back to King Pariah, who would do a check of their business and family lineage. If he was right (which he usually was), they would be brought to justice, if she could be that cheesy.

When she had confronted him on it, he'd been shocked, but impressed. He'd asked her not to say anything, causing her to assert that her friend's family was completely innocent. He'd told her he already knew that, and was just waiting for word from King Pariah for information on his next mission. After hearing this she'd excitedly asked to join him, thinking this was be just the thing she could do to help others. Initially he'd refused, but after she'd nagged and coerced him for days while he was waiting, he admitted she had fortitude and reluctantly agreed. Ever since then they'd been partners, infiltrating castles searching for evidence and having fun along the way.

Usually Danny was the distraction while Sam did the spying, staying out of sight with comfortable trousers and absolutely no frilly skirts. People paid attention to him as he was part of an important family and never noticed the shadowed figure in the corner of the room, silently searching the palace for evidence and either giving Danny a yea or nay when they later met up.

This time, however, the family of suspects had been having a ball to have their son meet eligible women for marriage, so Sam had taken the lead as the distraction. She'd flirted and danced and conversed while Danny swept the castle, silent as the night. She thought, rather forlornly, that she'd much rather be flirting and dancing and conversing with Danny, but forcefully banished that thought from her head when she saw his shadow slip out of the ballroom, his nod to her almost imperceptible.

"I think I'll step outside for just a moment, for some air," She murmured to the prince, who gave her a heated look that she returned, gagging on the inside. Eyes darting this way and that as she stepped onto the terrace, she tried to look nonchalant as she slunk away into the forest, where she was supposed to meet Danny.

Unfortunately, dresses didn't know that she was supposed to be light on her feet, and it also didn't know that if it kept dragging like this, she was going to be late. She scowled. 'Danny, where are you?'

"Hey, you!" The big, burly voice definitely wasn't Danny's, and hearing it so close made her squeak in surprise. She whipped around, seeing a huge mammoth of a man coming after her. With a gasp she began to run, streaking past trees and trying to pick up speed. Unfortunately, her skirts hid a large branch that was in her way and her foot caught sharply on it, sending her slamming to the ground. She let out a pained whoosh of breath, her ankle throbbing, and tried to get up. Suddenly her arm was wrenched behind her and she let out a pained cry as she came face to face with one of the palace guards.

"What are you doing out here?" He barked, his bitter breath making her wince as it wafted against her face. When she didn't answer he squeezed her arm with his meaty hand, making her squeal in distress. "I said, what are you doing out here?"

"Hey!" A new voice entered the interrogation, making Sam sigh and nearly slump in relief. Her violet eyes fell on Danny, riding his black and white steed Phantom up to she and the guard. His inkwell black hair fell over his crystal blue eyes that were trained on them, and she silently led a prayer of thanks. His jaw clenched as he demanded, "What's going on here?"

"I caught her lurking on my lord's grounds," The beefy guard said with a scowl. "She shouldn't be here."

"Are you aware that there's a ball going on in the castle today, and there are dozens of maidens in attendance?" When the guard let go of Sam's arm to protest, Danny's normally warm blue eyes went icy with fury as he saw the bruises left there. "Young women are going to be all over the grounds. Has this not occurred to you?"

"I was informed to keep watch of the grounds for anyone sneaking around, even the guests." The guard informed him superiorly. "We don't want spies from that tyrant, King Pariah, making any unwanted appearances."

Danny clenched his jaw at the guard's name for the king, and said through gritted teeth, "Well, your lord shouldn't be worried about any spies if he's truthful in his business. Now, kindly let go of this young lady. She's came out to get some fresh air and you scared her. I should report you to Lord Aragon for this mistake."

The guard clenched his jaw at the threat but finally backed down. "Very well. My apologies, miss." He nodded curtly at her and narrowed his eyes at Danny. "I'll resume my post now. Thank you for your…explanation. And make sure she gets back to the palace so no one else mistakes her again." With that, he stalked off, steam nearly coming out of his ears.

When he was a safe distance away, Danny turned to Sam, the iciness in his eyes melting away to worry. "Are you okay?" He gently touched the bruises on her arms, making her wince. "Sorry."

"It's okay." She sent him a little grin. "Close one, Dan."

"Too close, Sam," He said softly, his concern making her heart flip. To counteract it she rolled her eyes. "I'm fine, Danny."

"I know, I just…worry about you." He shook his head. "Are you going to be okay?"

"Yeah, I-" Sam started to walk toward the horse, but a lightning bolt of pain hit her ankle and traveled up her leg, causing her to gasp and stumble. Danny shot forward and caught her in his arms. "Sam!"

"Fine. I'm fine." She tried to say, her words disjointed from surprise.

"No, you're not. Sit down, I'll take care of it. Your ankle?" Danny asked, setting her down against a tree so she could sit up.

"Yeah, I tripped over it when I was running from that meathead." Sam replied, pulling up her skirts to eye her swollen ankle. "Guess I twisted it harder than I thought."

Danny sighed as he rummaged through the saddlebags hanging on Phantom, who neighed softly and trotted closer to Sam to nuzzle her softly. "Sam, this was a close one. I'm really worried about you."

"I don't get why, though," Sam murmured, blushing. "You're always going to be there for me."

"I am." Danny agreed softly, giving her a smile that made her heart do tailspins. From the saddlebag he pulled a rough strip of cloth to use as a rudimentary ankle wrap. He crouched on his knees beside her and pulled her foot onto his lap, fingers deft and careful as they wrapped the thong around her swelling skin. The feeling of his fingers on her skin made shivers course through her, and to hide it she blurted out, "I know. You gave me your word when you agreed to take me along with you." Blushing, she rubbed Phantom's muzzle as he neighed and snorted happily.

Danny looked up at her from beneath his lashes, his blue eyes pinning her to the tree as he smiled. "I remember. I still wonder how I got you to believe me, Miss I-don't-trust-anyone."

"I'm a good judge of people, I guess," She shrugged as he stood, took her hand, and pulled her gently to her feet.

"Hey, I could always turn on you," He teased, both of them knowing he never would.

"You wouldn't dare. You know I'd kick your ass." Sam chuckled, steadying herself with her hands on his chest while his hands settled on her waist.

"Hey, you never know. We never sealed it with anything; you just kind of railroaded me into it." Danny laughed when she lightly smacked his chest in retribution. "We can always seal it with something to make it official."

"Like what?" Sam asked suspiciously, thinking it was something childish like throwing her in the mud.

"Hm…" Danny leaned down and his sweet breath caressed her face. Her heart pounded. "How about something like this?"

And then he kissed her.

It was so sweet and unexpected that Sam stiffened in shock at first, eyes wide. But as realization swarmed through her, her eyelids shut softly and she wrapped her arms around his neck. She kissed him back, sighing as he wrapped her silky ebony hair around his hands and pulled her even closer. "You're beautiful, Sam." He murmured as he pulled back and tucked a piece of hair behind her small ear. She smiled and pulled him down for another kiss.

"Sa-am!"

Sam gasped and pulled away from Danny, looking at where she heard her name. What she saw made her blood run cold. "Mother Nature?"

A slim woman in a hideous green matching skirt and jacket was smiling down on them fiendishly. She had a bright red box with a sickeningly clashing bright pink bow on top. "Sam, you shouldn't be sleeping! I've brought you your monthly gift! You need to make sure you aren't leaking!"

Sam jumped back from Danny, blushing red hot. Danny got up as well, thoroughly confused. Suddenly Sam knew what to do. She ran over to Phantom and opened the satchel that was attached to the saddle, whipping out a bright blue box of tampons, labeled "Tampax Pearl".

"Haha! The joke is on you, because I…!" Sam looked at the box, feeling stupid. "Wait, why the hell do I have this?" She threw the box behind her and went back to the saddlebag, pulling out a huge medieval flail. "This is what I was looking for!"

If possible, Mother Nature looked even more horrified than when she brought out the tampons.

...

Needless to say, Sam had uninterrupted dreams for the rest of the night.


Haha this was written when the Tampax Pearl commercials with the annoying Mother Nature were out. Here's a refresher if you don't remember: . com/ watch?v=O5ZQdDwncCc (Just take out the spaces). So yeah, it was just a dream. That commercial always made me crack up, and Sam wouldn't use a tampon to kill Mother Nature - she's way more devious.

And omg. Backstory much? I had to rewrite this thing 3 times just to get it right, and it has a huge-butt backstory. :/ I hate doing that to you guys, but I wanted it to make sense, and it was fun to make a backstory for those two. :D Hope it didn't bother you too much.

Enjoy and please RxR!

-PM