Author: Trillian N7
Summary: Post-Landsmeet drabble of actions and part regrets.
Fandom: Dragon Age: Origins
Spoilers: General game and implied dwarf commoner origin spoilers.
Disclaimer: Dragon Age: Origins is not mine, despite how much I wish I could claim Alistair. Sadly, Bioware and EA have that privilege.
'How could you do this to me?' Alistair looked down at his companion, the opinionated dwarf who had dominated his existence for the last few months.
She was silent; there was nothing left to say.
'Don't you love me anymore?' Alistair voice cracked a little as he spoke.
'It has nothing to do with love. You should be king.' The conviction in her voice shocked Alistair. 'Ferelden needs you and I, well, I am not so sure about what I even have left in the world.'
'I would find a way, there has to be something we can do.'
'And your country would sit back and gossip about their bastard king and his Grey Warden mistress. No, you will have to be a strong king. Unify the country and rebuild from all the despair of the blight.'
'But...' Alistair began, but she cut him off quickly.
'No buts. I do love you, and because of this I can't stay. You will love again.' Alistair noticed the tears built up in her eyes as she stared into the distance. 'You never forget your first love, but it is not always your last.'
Alistair couldn't help but feel angry. He knew who she was referring to, yet after all this time Alistair still felt as though he couldn t compare to him.
'By the Maker! I bet you wouldn't force him into this sort of thing.' Bitterness leaked through Alistair's voice and he felt ashamed to see reaction on her face. He had hurt her, but he had always resented the love she still had for her friend despite the betrayal and lies. Alistair was the one who had to pick up the pieces and instinctively hated the cause of her pain. He continued on, 'How can I compare when it is always about him! I never stood a chance.'
Alistair expected anger from her at his comment, or bitterness. Instead he faced the disappointment in her voice.
'He is dead, Alistair, and I had to kill him. Whether I loved him or not don't matter anymore.' Her voice broke and Alistair saw the tears start to run down her cheeks, 'You really doubt I love you?'
Alistair was shocked. He had only ever seen her cry once before, she always hid behind her cynical nature. He gently pulled her down onto his lap, wrapping his arms around her as she sobbed into his chest.
'I...' He buried his face in her hair, whispering the apologies for cruel words which should have been left unsaid. 'I am sorry. Everything is changing so fast. I am scared.'
'I know.' Came a muffled reply. 'Personal isn't important, we have to save Ferelden.'
Alistair sighed. She was right, but that didn't stop it hurting. But for now it was just them, arms wrapped around each other almost afraid to let go.
Two broken Grey Wardens who could barely save themselves, having to save the world.