Over And Over

He's gone again. I finally made him leave. But…but SHOULD I have made him leave? Was it really necessary? Ugh…why do I think this EVERY TIME? Ryou had sent Bakura away three days ago. Just three days. This was the fourth time. And yet he still missed him. He rested his chin on his knees and stared out his bedroom window. The clear blue sky was an inverse reflection of his mind. The boy willed dark clouds to come and cover the sun so the world wouldn't seem so much like it was mocking him. There was even a bird wicked enough to be singing on the terrace. Ryou knew he shouldn't feel this way; he knew he should be happy that he was free. But that just wasn't how his life worked. No matter how many times he made Bakura leave, no matter how valid the reason, he still felt as empty as the apartment.

I feel it every day
It's all the same
It brings me down
But I'm the one to blame
I've tried everything
To get away

I shouldn't feel like this. He slid off of his bed and walked over to the window to look at the bird; it was pure white. As he watched, it turned to gaze back at him. Its eyes weren't black, but instead a deep brown. Ryou turned away. Why? He left his room and went to sit in the windowless kitchen. On his way, he passed a mirror in the hall. The boy backed up; he hadn't seen his own face in it the first time he walked by. He didn't see it this time, either. There, staring back at him, was Bakura, wearing his ever-present smirk. Ryou could hear his final words before walking out the door. "If you ever want me back, you know where to find me." The boy shook his head and hurried away. I'm not going back. Not this time. He dropped into the lone chair at the small kitchen table. Involuntarily, his eyes drifted to stare at the hall closet. In there sat Bakura's chair. Ryou had tried "out of sight, out of mind", but it was failing miserably. Against his better judgment, he dragged the chair out and sat it on the other side of the table.

So here I go again
Chasing you down again
Why do I do this

The boy sighed. Why do I do this every time? Ryou stared at the empty seat. His hand reached toward it, and he felt Bakura's fingers wrap around his wrist and pull him closer, until he was leaning across the table. His eyes closed, and he could feel Bakura's breath against his face. "You know where to find me…" The boy wrenched himself from the memories and left the kitchen. It was so hard to resist going back to him, to resist begging him to return to the empty apartment. It was impossible to deny how alone he felt without Bakura's presence. Ryou walked into the living room, and turned back almost immediately. Bakura's jacket was still lying on the back of the couch, the sky blue blinding against its black backdrop; the boy had no doubt it had purposely been left there as a cruel reminder from Bakura that he was always present. Ryou leaned against the apartment door. He could still feel Bakura's eyes on him, watching his every move, waiting for him to come back, waiting for him to admit he couldn't stand to be alone.

Over and over
Over and over
I fall for you
Over and over
Over and over
I try not to

Ryou pulled on his own blue jacket: he had to escape the memory-filled apartment. He closed the door behind himself. As he walked down the hall toward the stairs, he noticed how white and clean the walls and floors were. And how quiet it was. It was like being in an asylum. He hurried down the stairs. On the last flight, he tripped; an arm wrapped around his waist and held him up. But no one else was there. The boy got out of the building as quickly as he could, and walked down the sidewalk the opposite way from usual. No matter what lay before him on this side of town, none of it was tainted by sweet or bitter memories. The unfamiliar scenery was a comforting change. Ryou walked at an easy pace, savoring the peace he found in the crowded streets. His mind slipped into a blissful oblivion of the world around him…until he saw a guy showing off his girlfriend to his friends. She looked so…desolate. So hopeless. But she didn't look surprised. Ryou could see the same look in her eyes that he knew had been in his own every moment he had spent with Bakura. She knew this wasn't how a relationship should be, that she was being taken advantage of. But she didn't want to say 'no'. The guy grabbed her hand and dragged her along with him. For a brief second, Ryou's and the girl's gazes met, and they both knew they were not alone. Neither said 'no' because neither knew how.

It feels like every day
Stays the same
It's dragging me down
And I can't pull away

No matter where Ryou went, Bakura followed. Somehow, he was always present, in the corner of the boy's mind, waiting for an opportunity to rise to the front of his thoughts. Waiting to beckon him, to invite him to return. I can't let him win! But Ryou already knew what the outcome of this excursion would be. He'd known it the moment he'd set foot outside his apartment. He turned on his heel, heading back the way he'd come, passing the apartment complex without so much as a glance. Why did I ever free him in the first place? The answer came easily. His voice. It has such a…hypnotic quality. Bakura had asked for help, and Ryou had given it. After that deciding moment, Ryou's entire world had changed. He and Bakura had talked. Ryou had thought he'd discovered a lighter side of his newly-embodied companion, and fell into its arms without a second thought. Only after he had surrendered his heart beyond the point of reclaiming it in one piece did the trouble begin. He'd thought nothing of the first kiss, nor the second, nor even the third. But the fourth… Ryou took a left turn just before the huge clock in the square.

So here I go again
Chasing you down again
Why do I do this

It had been such a shock that he didn't even think to react until a week had passed. Just a normal afternoon. Nothing had appeared to be out of the ordinary when he'd opened the door to his apartment. He had called Bakura's name several times with no answer, but that wasn't all too uncommon, either. Bakura liked sitting on the terrace outside the sliding glass door and staring down through the metal floor beneath his feet to the ground several stories below. So Ryou had shut the door behind himself and continued down the hall. A hand had shot out of nowhere and clamped over his mouth; a dark chuckle had sounded in his ear. Ryou had twisted in the arms that held him to face Bakura's smirk. It would have been funny…had that been the end of it. It would have been romantic in a sort of dark light had Bakura let go after the first couple of minutes. But he hadn't. His grip had, if anything, tightened with each passing moment. There's the dock.

Over and over
Over and over
I fall for you
Over and over
Over and over
I try not to

But no Bakura. Maybe that was for the best. After the fourth kiss, things had only gotten worse. Bakura had kept Ryou home from his friends more often than not. "You are MINE.", he would whisper into Ryou's ear before pressing his lips to the boy's throat. It made Ryou think of vampires; Bakura had always struck him as a unique being that fed on souls instead of blood. Not that he was so far off. Ryou could feel his soul being drained with every touch, but he couldn't pull away. Not until Bakura had gone too far. It had been hard, but the moment Bakura tried to pull him into the bedroom, Ryou put his foot down. He told Bakura to leave. A week later he asked him to come back. That had been the first time. The next two had gone pretty much the same. This time, though…Ryou just couldn't take the quiet. He'd grown too used to Bakura's greedy hands holding him close, to that hypnotic voice murmuring to him, to the knowledge that he was wanted. Bakura had become so much a part of his life that he couldn't get away.

Over and over
Over and over
You make me fall for you
Over and over
Over and over
You don't even try

He promised he'd be here. But he probably doesn't expect me for a few more days. Ryou collapsed on a pile of crates and huddled himself in a corner. He could wait. This was Bakura's haunt: he'd be back soon enough. He closed his eyes and listened to the waves that lapped lazily at the dock. He'll be here… His mind slipped into an almost sleep-like state as he waited. "You are MINE." "You know where to find me." "You'll always have me." "You can help me get out, can't you?" "You see them every day at school." "You should stay with me." "You love me." "No I'm not!" "I'm not going back!" "I don't NEED you!" "Of course." "Well, yes, but…" "Okay." "Mmm…" So many words that had passed between them… Bakura's had always been spoken in that sort of half-mocking, half-affectionate tone that Ryou could never quite decide the sincerity of. Ryou's words had gone through more tones than he could ever hope to count: annoyance, happiness, anger, love, sorrow, so many that he sometimes wondered how he truly felt about Bakura. But just being at the dock at this moment was more than enough proof of how he truly felt.

So many thoughts that I can't get out of my head
I try to live without you
Every time I do I feel dead
I know what's best for me but I want you instead
I'll keep on wasting all my time

I love him. That was all there was to it. No matter what Bakura did to him, Ryou could never hate him. Bakura might be the death of him, but Ryou's dying words would still be, "I love you." Bakura's words echoed in his head. "You are MINE." The boy sighed. "I know," he murmured. He was never going to win. Bakura would always get his prize, no matter how many times the battle was fought. Ryou's resolve drained with each round they played, absorbed by Bakura. As he sat there with his eyes closed, he knew that this was the last time he would be here, in this situation. He knew that this was the last time he would be able to resist Bakura. "Ryou? Ryou?" The voice crept into his mind, drowning out the waves. "Ryou? Are you awake?" The boy felt a hand on his shoulder. His eyes snapped open.

Over and over
Over and over
I fall for you
Over and over
Over and over
I try not to

There he was, bending over Ryou with a smirk on his lips and a hint of concern in his eyes. The boy jumped up and threw his arms around the other's waist. He could feel Bakura's back stiffen at the unexpected embrace, and for a moment he worried that he wouldn't be received as warmly as he had been before. But after a moment of hesitation, the other's arms wrapped around him and he was pulled in closer. There was no need for words. Ryou had gone through this enough times to know that he was making himself understood. Even so, the two words slipped between his lips before he could hold them back. "I'm sorry." Ryou could feel Bakura's nose brush over the top of his head as he shook it, wordlessly insisting that there was no need for an apology. Tears escaped Ryou's eyes. With his face buried in Bakura's chest, the boy couldn't see the triumphant smirk that crossed the wicked lips that grazed the top of his head.

Over and over
Over and over
You make me fall for you
Over and over
Over and over
You don't even try to


Sort of experimenting with a different style. Hope you liked it! Review please! And don't be afraid to look at some of my other stuff. Thanks for reading!

This thing won't take center. That was part of the experiment...well, hope you enjoy anyway!